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I spent 2 hours after watching just basically keyboard smashing and yelling “I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENED.” And then I spent like 6 hours on Tumblr picking at my wording and reading responses and trying to finish a ficlet of 300 words I was ultimately too chicken to post. [edit: but a week later I managed: Never Learn, Never Lose. Within a few days after that I was so embarrassed about how hard canon had shredded it that I literally haven't posted it anywhere except Tumblr.]

ANYWAY, HERE.

Zoo 3x01

Plot Partners: Abe / Dariela & Suspicious Clem

  • Abe became a doctor? Dariela has sketchy contacts Abe can’t know about? They are kick-ass parents on top of all that, despite their own crappy childhoods?? I have no idea what’s going on but I’m excited.

  • Is anyone going to explain how some dogs are apparently unaffected by the mutation or…? Is it because doggos are so Good and Pure? [edit: yeah that's me completely forgetting the cure happened/worked]

  • What is this clumsy retcon that Clementine was obsessed with babies/dolls? She tried to take like 10 stuffed animals and zero dolls with her when they left Boston in season 1. I mean I guess she did risk her life to save a baby from murder crows, but… Speaking of which, looks like season 3 will finally be the year nobody has to rescue a baby after its mother is brutally swarmed to death! [edit: crap, as of episode 11 this could theoretically still happen]

Hot Rugged Action Hero Jackson (& Friends)

  • Hey so listen I’m going to need you to stop force feeding me this relationship because I am still not there yet. Maybe when I am there, I will enjoy the fact that you threw like 5 different types of my favorite shippy scenes into one episode, but for now I’m saying things like “Ctrl+Alt+Save this kiss for when I care.”

  • I am super excited that Jackson can control lions With His Mind, though. Tell me more.

  • And give me ALL of the Primeval monsters. That prehistoric rhino thing was my 2nd favorite part of the episode. (and to be clear: when i say Primeval, I am referencing the awesome British TV show and its little Canadian sibling, not just an adjective)


Plot Partners: Jamie and/or Logan

  • I can’t believe Logan is managing to annoy me even more now that he has hair.

  • This skulking loner Sarah Walker version of Jamie is not really doing anything for me, so if we could bring her warmer side back ASAP that’d be cool. (sorry fandom. please don’t throw garbage at me. /Pam Beesly voice.)

  • Although I do sort of like that she re-purposed Mitch’s lab into her own computer science-y lab. That’s something we should probably write stories about. Speaking of…


Backstory Tentpoles a.k.a. Fanfic Prompts

  • I could let you claim that Jamie banged Logan at some point in the last 10 years, or I could just go “haha cool I guess we’re calling that wilderness trek and about 7 days on the plane dating now” and speak no more of this evil.

  • I love that it sounds like Jamie and/or the Ragtag Band Of Failed Heroes got to keep hold of Clementine for 2 or 3 years, at least, before she apparently got ripped away and spirited off by Max. I will actually die of pain right now if I try to even imagine what that change was like, but it’s gonna be gold for someone to dig into. Several someones, actually; there is plenty of room.

  • Speaking of things that will make me die of pain if I try to think about them: Jamie going on multiple expeditions over the years to try and find him.

  • Particularly the one where she finds his glasses.

  • His bloodstained glasses.

  • hashtag HELP THE DYING IS STARTING


F YEAH ALPHA SHIP

  • Actual reaction to That Scene: *rolling my eyes* “Jamie has all the opportunity in the world to meet more terrible men” scene right on cu- WHAT, WHAT THE JIMINIY JIGGERS IS GOING ON / NO NEVER MIND I DON’T CARE AND DON’T NEED CONTEXT.

  • I have too many feelings about this, but just know my heart is in roughly 9000 pieces as it finally dawns on me that this being Mitch’s dream = Mitch comforting himself with Jamie telling him it’s going to be okay and she’s going to find him = can somebody please call all the ambulances

  • …also I keep looking at the deep and somewhat disfiguring scars he’s got, and wondering how Jamie might react to them. These are significantly different from the usual barely-there scars fictional characters fret about; these are the kind of scars that force you to confront exactly what kind of nightmare horror pain this person went through and how maybe it’s even worse than you ever pictured.


Billy Burke Proving Why I Spend Every Autumn Transitioning Out of Zoo By Tracking Down His Other Work

  • I am running out of brainpower and have none left to process this plot, so I will just say: as much as I hate that Mitch is surrounded by strangers upon waking up, and suspicious strangers at that, it is kind of amazing to see him like this. It’s Mitch, but it’s Mitch stripped of all snark and the command he usually has of any given situation, even when he’s just blustering his way through it. It is all kinds of painful to see him confused, mistrustful, frustrated by his inability to communicate or even really understand what’s going on. Mitch looking this lost and withdrawn into mental retreat is quite a gut-wrench.

  • (it’s also really good mental fodder for hospital fic. I’m just sayin’.)


My Favorite Sideshow: Mushy Father/Daughter Moments
So…that girl with Mitch definitely looks more like Young Clem, which is the only consolation prize I have for losing our amazing original actress, and it would line up with Max sequestering her away and/or being involved with shadowy forces. But it would be interesting if they’re setting up Badass Clem to LOOK like she’s a sketchy Clementine imposter, but actually be the real girl who is angry and embittered by her circumstances, while IADG seems more than capable of making up fake nonsense to manipulate Mitch into giving up info.

That said, my tiny human heart is not big enough to hold the amount of pain there would be if the first thing Mitch found comfort in upon regaining consciousness turned out to be a lie. I need him to recognize his own kid. That bowed head / forehead nudge killed me even more than the dream sequence.

What’s REALLY going to upset me is if one of the girls is like a…clone of some kind, so that they’re both technically Clem, but not. Or one is part-hybrid. I feel strongly like part-human hybrids are gonna be a Thing. (Mind you, I usually am very wrong when I start predicting.)

tl;dr Mitch + Being A Mess Of Emotions About His Daughter is my actual favorite thing about this show.

In conclusion: I still have no idea what’s going on but I am excited to see the rest.

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