Meme grabbed from scsquidsnaps: Pick 12 characters you like, and then answer the questions below the cut about them. Obviously, first choose your characters before you see the questions.
1. Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean)
2. Remus Lupin (Harry Potter)
3. Horatio Caine (CSI: Miami)
4. Jethro Gibbs (NCIS)
5. Ziva David (NCIS)
6. Don Flack (CSI: NY)
7. Samantha Spade (Without a Trace)
8. Greg Sanders (CSI)
9. Matt Flannery (Standoff)
10. Yelina Salas (CSI: Miami)
11. Addison Montgomery (Grey's Anatomy)
12. Juliet Burke (Lost)
Flack/Addison...huh. I've never seriously pondered this, but damn, that would bring the pretty. Possibly even prettier than her and McDreamy. Addison, I hereby order you to forget L.A. and move back to New York for your next job!
2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot?
Yes. Duh. Gibbs is the silver-haired fox, remember? (and as a side note, Mark Harmon is one of those rare men who is more attractive now than he was 20 years ago.)
3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?
Hee! *cough* You'd hear me a mile away shouting "DAMN IT, JULIET, I KNEW THOSE EXPERIMENTS WITH MICE WERE GOING TO BE A PROBLEM!" Please to not be impregnating Greg Sanders, thnx.
4. Can you recommend any fic(s) about Nine?
Matt Flannery...sure, my favorite is this one that I've convinced myself is future canon (and which the show can now never contradict! Blessing in disguise of cancellation.): Pet Woes
I've recced it before, but Matt and Emily have a precocious six-year-old daughter whom they promised could have a pet if she learned to ride her bike in one weekend. And now Matt's stuck taking her to the pet store. It's both adorable and hilarious.
5. Would Two and Six make a good couple?
THERE WILL BE NO SPEAKING OF SLASH SHIPS WITH LUPIN. I am quite firm about this one.
6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why?
5/9. Ziva and Matt would be kind of a fun couple, anyway; he's like Tony only less womanizing and more sarcastic, while she could more than match Emily's flair for light banter.
7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?
Sam walks in on Remus and Juliet...let's see. I imagine Sam would turn red and hastily back out of the room. Juliet would shrug and be all, "Eh, whatever." Poor reserved Remus and his deep sense of propriety, however, would need a while to recover from the shock.
8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic.
Horatio/Yelina! I knew I had a reason for putting both of them on the list. Let's see...how about Horatio finds some way of getting over his deep-set "brother's wife" complex and actually lets her convince him into a lasting romantic relationship. (To my knowledge, no one has ever successfully pulled this off in the history of fanfic.)
9. Is there such a thing as One/Eight fluff?
Will/Greg? No. No, there is not. Not even in the strangest AU.
10. Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic.
Samantha/Juliet...hmm. I need parameters first. Let's say after Juliet makes her way back to the real world, she discovers that her sister and her child have gone missing while on a vacation to New York, and despite an intense week of searching, they're found dead. (insert evil LOST conspiracy theories here) Sam, who became quite emotionally invested in the case, due to the missing-sister angle and all, checks up on her after work to see how she's doing, and...go from there.
Wait, I was supposed to come up with a title. Um. "Separate Steps."
11. What kind of plot device would you use if you wanted Four to deflower One?
But I don't want him to. Really. I don't want that image in my brain. Though I'm sure you could do something with the whole sailor aspect.
12. Does anyone on your friends list read Seven slash?
Samantha Spade? I'm...not sure, actually. I've never seen any such fic. Who would you slash her with? I'm thinking you'd need to cross over, because Vivian seems a completely improbable choice, and while I am slightly less opposed to femslash than regular slash, she and Elena are nothing alike.
13. Does anyone on your friends list read Three het?
Oh yes. I'm pretty sure that's how I met all my CSI: Miami friends. Come to think of it, there's one supporter for each main 'ship with Horatio.
14. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven?
Ah, Addison doesn't get enough love. :(
15. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five?
We will not be discussing Lupin in threesomes either. Although I'm sure Gibbs/Ziva, on its own, has some supporters.
16. What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?
I'd rather not ponder that side of Yelina. Although I'm tempted to think that at some point in Brazil with Raymond, an attempted term of endearment slipped out as "BASTARD!"
17. If you wrote a songfic about Eight, which song would you choose?
Greg Sanders...um...I really have no idea. Probably a tongue-in-cheek humor fic, though, in which I'd use some especially angsty song by The Cure to go with his tormented season-7 self.
18. If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warnings be?
I will not ponder Will/Flack/Juliet any further than that.
19. What might be a good pick-up line for Two to use on Ten?
Well, if we're writing warped crossovers anyway, I reckon things would start with Yelina's son being a student of Professor Lupin's. That sort of teacher/mother-of-a-student relationship worked on New Adventures of Old Christine, I swear.
Voice: No, it really didn't.
20. When was the last time you read a fic about Five?
I haven't read NCIS fic in ages; but for Ziva...I think I last checked in with DrawMeASheep in February. I should really see what she's done with the finale, Tiva-wise.
21. What is Six's super-sekret kink?
Stellaluna would be happy to write you a long and detailed list. I prefer to think that Flack doesn't have a great many kinks, other than perhaps in my preferred OC fic in which Tess is often wearing some sort of dessert-scented perfume (cinnamon, brown sugar, etc) that tends to get him hot and bothered.
22. Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?
*dies laughing* Would Addison shag Matt? Addison shags anyone who stares intensely into her eyes, so, I'm gonna go with yeah. With very little urging, too. Drunk OR sober.
23. If Three and Seven get together, who tops?
Horatio and Samantha...you know, Sam's pretty aggressive; I wouldn't be surprised if she did. But you'd be working against Horatio's deeply ingrained view of traditional relationship roles. Anyway, now I'm distracted by the logistics of how this would come into existence. Another trip to New York following a case, with crossover to the FBI? Sam's feeling lonely and rejected by her preferred older man, so she grabs the first one she can find? Horatio goes along, finding an outlet for his unspoken attraction to Calleigh? OH THE POSSIBILITIES!
24. "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three."
Oh good Lord, that's complicated. Okay, no, I got it. Allow me to rewrite that, with embellishments and the minor detail of establishing Will Turner as a modern-day character...
Will and Matt are in a relationship (his first, the latter's 17th or so) until Matt runs off with Jethro Gibbs, wanting a more mature lover. Will, broken-hearted, has a 1-night stand with Addison because she spotted him looking as lonely as she felt - and figures if her ex-husband can run around with girls 15 years younger than he is, she doesn't have to worry about age either. Alas, the whole time, she's really thinking about one of her interns, and kicks Will out of her bed first thing in the morning. (On second thought, though, she calls up her friend Dr. Burke - Juliet Burke, that is - and wonders if she'd be interested)
He starts dating Juliet, but right away she begins pushing him to try get pregnant and he weeps because he never got to ask Matt about having children. Deciding he's not worth her time, she promptly dumps him. Not having learned his lesson about strong and empowered women, he sits next to Ziva at the bar, ends up talking to her for an hour, and tries to ask her out to dinner afterwards. Luckily, she realizes that all his problems stem from the fact that he is in fact really, truly and deeply gay, and will not be happy unless he's in a relationship with a man. Say, Horatio, who's quite fond of the young/tall/thin/dark curly hair type.
Hey, that almost sounded plausible.
25. What title would you give this fic?
"Straight Along a Crooked Path"
26. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?
I'd feel like Sam had suddenly switched from pursuing father-figures to robbing the cradle...because really, she seems much older than Greg even though they're probably not that far apart in age.