RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

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THURSDAY on SYTYCD: Bullet Points

Because immediately after I threw my tape in the garbage, having done more damage in my attempts to fix it, I didn't even take notes for the results show.  This resulted in swearing.  There was even more swearing when I remembered that if I just hadn't accidentally *torn* the tape trying to fix it enough to rewind, the results show was on the safe section of tape and I could have watched it without any problem at all.  I hate Dagwood the Evil Daewoo.

Nevertheless, I shall continue in present tense, and pretend it's presently last Thursday night.

-Remember how I didn't like Adam a whole lot last night?  I like him even less after hearing how he curses a blue streak, and all the dancing chuckleheads think this is great and amusing...because it's funny when grown-ups swear!  Haw, haw, haw, NOT AMUSED.  I once had a poetry professor who swore all the time in class, and everyone thought it great fun to have such a "relaxed atmosphere," while I (and maybe one freshman girl) was about the only one who quietly steamed in a corner week after week and wished he would learn some manners.

-On an amusing note, Recapist connected Adam to Will and Grace's Jack too, which makes me feel all vindicated, even though she didn't add any disparaging remarks.

-Is he really only 42?  No way.  I had him pegged for 55-60.  He looked like one of those older guys who keeps in shape and looks younger because of it, but whom you would definitely not confuse with actually being younger.

-I am still annoyed that Kameron and Lacey have never been put in the bottom three. What is WRONG with you people?  Obey my whims!  OBEY THEM...*shakes fist*

-NO!  Lauren/Neil and Jamie/Hok cannot be the last two couples!  I don't want any of those guys in danger!  *sobs and wails as Jaimie is sent to the Dance of Potential Doom* I'm not worried about Hok so much, seeing as he's up against Cedric.

-Annie thinks that Neil dislikes Lauren (actually, she used worrd "loathes") and claims he grimaced when she hugged him.  Now I really wish I had a tape to double check, because until I can look at the same scene and not see that, I am going to be very despondent indeed at the idea that my OTP hates one another.  That would make me a hypocrite when I laugh at the Harry/Draco shippers, and laughing at Harry/Draco shippers is really one of my favorite activities in the HP fandom.

-I have to say, going to the premiere of Hairspray seems ten times more exciting than the Shrek 3 crap fed to the American Idol contestants.

-"You're quite the charmer, Neil," says the star of said movie at the afterparty, and I cannot disagree.  Mostly, though, I'm busy giggling over how much I love Amanda Bynes, especially when she is enthusiastically treating the kids like celebrities in their own right.  In fact, for Hollywood celebs, I suspect meeting contestants from a huge reality show kind of *is* like meeting celebrities, given that they're not likely to run into them anywhere else in their Hollywood life.

-Anya's solo is...I can't really tell, because I'm so distracted by her ugly leopard-print leotard, but it doesn't strike me as being all that fantastic.

-Danny, a word to the wise: Dancing shirtless works better when you have a broad chest with well defined pecs, as opposed to a skinny barrel ribcage, even if it is taut.  For me, anyway.  Damn it, I miss Dmitry.  Then I forget about Dmitry, because watching him leap around the stage produces approximately the same thrilling rush as going down a high drop on a roller coaster.  His solos will save him for a ridiculously long time.

-Shauana seemed to take longer this week than last to get into the really amazing lyrical stuff, but then she locked it in and was as jaw-droppingly amazing as ever.  God, this girl is a beautiful dancer.

-Cedric is doing his thing, and I still don't understand what I'm supposed to love about him.  I'm not sure what this style is, exactly, but I'd venture it's a subset of the Robot.

-I held my breath when Jaimie came out, crossing my fingers that she would do as well as Shauna and guarantee Anya's expulsion.  Something told me if she didn't blow them away, the judges were going to let her go for some stupid subjective reason possibly related to her inability to make a connection to the viewers.  But then she did, putting on an equally brilliant performance, and Anya was as good as gone.

-Hok's breakdancing is as awesome as ever.  That's all I have to say, as it mesmerizes me and stops my train of thought in its tracks.  I really want him to stick around for a while, because he's so intriguing.

-Judges go to "deliberate" their "very tough" choices (*snort giggle snicker*), and then it's time for musical performer HILARY DUFF!

-My love for Hilary Duff is almost impossible to measure.  When I first heard she was switching from acting to singing I rolled my eyes and went "Great, another one of those I Can Do Anything and Everything blondes."  Then I heard this really great song in a commercial, and it was...Duff.  Then I heard another really great one and it was...Duff again.  Since then, I have realized that she's as fantastic a singer as she is an actor.  More importantly, her music is fun but not full of gross lyrics, and I like almost everything I hear.  It doesn't hurt that she jabs at other Hollywood girls her age with her song "Dignity," and otherwise promotes an air of being smarter and classier than her peers.  Which, I might add, she is.  

-"Stranger" is really not one of my favorite tracks on the new album, but it doesn't matter, because this is far and away the best artist this show has ever hired, and despite the stupid genie outfits on her and the dancers, I think she looks very cool and mature on stage, and if I had a darn tape on me, I'd be watching it twice right now.

-Oh, the judges say their decisions were unanimous for both genders this week!  Excellent, that means I've gotten my way.  [a/n: Has the irony stopped being funny yet?]

-Girls: Oh no!  *gasps* He's singling out Jaimie and telling her all the ways she needs to improve and I can't believe they're going to cut her - oh.  *phew* Definitely Anya then.  See, they're giving her a long list of reasons that normally precede the "we're sorry we had to cut you so we feel you at least deserve an explanation of why" announcement and  WHY THE FUCK DID YOU JUST TELL HER SHE WAS SAFE.

-Effing hell!  Um, judges, am I hearing you right?  If so, are you insane?  You don't think Shauna's shown growth, and you also think she lacks personality?  Hey everyone, raise your hand if you think either Anya or Jaimie has a sparkling, attention-commanding personality, on stage or off.  No one?  That's right.  Anya blends into her partner and Jaimie blends into the background, or at least that's how I've seen it so far.  Meanwhile, mind telling me what growth you've seen in Anya?  Because I've really gotten the impression she's been stagnant.  And even if you're right, and Shauna hasn't grown that much, her standard level of skill is definitely above Anya's.  So you took my beautiful dance-school Shauna for being consistently amazing?  

-Lauren looks particularly upset by this news.  My fantasy has now expanded to include Shauna, who is clearly going to be Lauren's best friend in my set of fictional stories.

-I cannot believe I won't be seeing her next week.  She would have been paired with DANNY, people.  DANNY!  Can you imagine how amazing those two lyrical dancers would have been together?  And worse, I was really counting on the hope of Shauna being paired with Neil or Pasha to console me when the partners switched and my OTP was broken apart.  Now I've got nothing.  Nothing!

-Upon closer inspection, the tolerance for everyone that I developed last week is gone, and now I hate everybody except Lauren and Neil and Pasha.  And Cat Deely, but she doesn't participate in the partner dancing.  This season sucks.  Way to screw a girl over by giving her sucky partners.  Personally, I think I'd have paired her with Ricky from the start; they both might have stuck around longer.  *sulks in a corner*

-Oh yeah, and Cedric went home.  Woohoo, I guess.  *goes back to sulking*

-*pops back out for a minute* Dear Female Pop Singers at Large: Please hire Shauna as a back-up dancer, a career at which I think she would excel.  Thank you.

'I didn't really get a chance to watch NBC's version of this show, The Singing Bee; I only caught the last few minutes.  I wasn't really impressed.  I only watched this show because it was conveniently located right after SYTYCD, half past the hour.  I have to say that's really captivating, maybe because the premiere contestant was so adorable that I cheered for her even though she was horribly off-key and out of tune the whole time.

But mostly, I think it's because it follows the same "pick any of the 10 categories" element of Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader, including the same prize money increments, but with a VASTLY less annoying host (Wayne Brady is quite nice), no children, and no irritating theme song sung by children, which grates on my ears worse than people being off key.  Seriously, I hate the sound of children singing. I don't know how the parents of elementary school students stand the music performances. Anyway.

There were a lot of songs I'd never heard, and some I'd never even heard of ("Two Tickets to Ride" comes to mind), but overall it was fun trying to sing along with the song and fill in the blanks when the music stops.  It's really jarring to be put on the silent spot like that, and I think I'd probably freeze right up even if it was a song I knew and loved.  But it makes for good watching, and if they would just shorten up a little bit of "suspense-building" time in between locking in an answer and revealing whether it's right or wrong, it would become my new favorite gameshow.  For about a month, until I found something better. Something that wasn't a game show.  (you know why I really love Jeopardy?  You get about 50 questions, maybe more, stuffed into half an hour.  Now THAT'S how you do a gameshow)


Standoff 1x17, "The Kids in the Hall"

The fact that these episodes are just being burned off when the show's already canceled makes them feel almost like reruns, or like I'm watching a DVD set and therefore don't really feel like commenting on individual episodes anymore.  Which is a pity, because that one was really good as far as entertaining watching went.  Well, I suppose I could work up the energy to mention a couple of things, considering that it's almost over. 

-I liked the black kid who took over right away; it was hard to imagine him doing something criminal enough to land him in prison, even if it was a juvenile facility.  He was remarkably intelligent and cool-headed, and was the kind of guy you want to automatically respect.  Liked his quivering little sidekick too, who trailed after him like a kid idolizing his older brother, and who was in turn protected by him.  He needed so many hugs.

-Stupid Senator.  Hate him.  But not as much as I hate Sadistic and Evil Buzzcut Kid who caused all the mayhem and totally ruined everything.  That kid was mentally disturbed.  He deserved solitary confinement for a year or three.

-That's all I'm going to concentrate on for the plot, but rest assured it was spectacular and totally worth watching.

-Poor Matt; I'm fairly sure that by the end he was frustrated to the point of tears by the end, helpless and furious about it.  In retrospect, so was I.  So, so maddeningly corrupt.

-I don't understand, however, why Matt blew up at Emily for not righteously storming off alongside him.  She's not his wife, standing up for him in some dispute with a neighbor.  She's doing her job, and clearly she had a chance to do more good if she kept working the case than if she cut ties completely.  Better to have one agent in there than none; Matt could have used that to his advantage (and he kind of did, but he was mad at her and she was mad at him, which kind of ruined the effect).

-What I REALLY don't understand is why this all led to a break-up.  Why NOW?  It makes no sense in either show or real-life context.  Okay, given their hellish day, I didn't expect them to find easy comfort at the end, but figured that was just going to mean them sleeping apart that night and a few more afterwards.  Flat-out suggesting that they "take a break from this" is just stupid.  Come on, Matt.  Two episodes ago she told you she loved you, something which took her a good long time to feel comfortable enough to say.  And just last week, you were reminded in great detail about how short life can be, and how awful Cheryl's breakup with her partner was.  In fact, as I recall, Matt was frothing at the mouth over it (granted, that was a bit different, but still).

So what gives?  And in real-life context, SURELY by the time they penned this episode, with a season order never increased beyond 19, no extension granted, and a return date that kept getting pushed back, the Powers That Be must have known - or at least had a strong suspicion - that they were not going to get a second season.  So why write in a breakup?  Unless you're Shonda Rhimes, that's the kind of thing you wait until late second season to do, when your Cute Moments start to repeat themselves and for some reason you think the audience will get tired of them so you have to find a way to shake things up and keep it "fresh."  But when you only have a single, short-order season?  No.  You just coast on your remaining bliss - and by the way, I don't think I ever got a proper holding hug out of these  two - until you're cut off.

Unless they plan to remedy this in the finale with great fanfare and a dazzling show of romance that leads us to believe that Matt and Emily are going to spend the rest of their lives together, I'm ticked off.


Pirate Master: The Ghosts Return

Honestly, "the ghosts."  *eyeroll* 

*proceeds to contradict self and take show incredibly seriously*

Forget my good will towards Kendra, it's gone.  To me, there's nothing stupider than promising to vote for someone in exchange for being kept around, and then go back on your word.  Especially when you are the weakest player, which at this point she unquestionably is.  Does she not remember a guy named Sean?  Now see, if she'd stuck with them and kept her head down thereafter, she just might have been able to guarantee herself fourth place.  Otherwise, she risks being sent home immediately.  And even if she isn't, then she's going to be the first target after Azmyth, because once the Triad is shaken, people are going to want to keep the strong officers around in hopes of getting them on their team in the next treasure hunt.  DUH. 

The hunt was interesting this week, with all the formerly cut-adrift players being brought back and competing against all the remaining pirates for the treasure & chance to dole out the black spots.  You could almost see Azmyth and Co mentally bashing their heads against a wall, upon realizing how many strong players they'd cut adrift and how those decisions were coming back to bite them in the collective ass.

It was quite nice seeing Christian and John and Cheryl again (everybody else, not so much).  I also really wanted the black (Pirate) crew to win so my Triad would remain in place.  And then John dropped the key in the river and nobody noticed until much later, after  they'd covered a good amount of distance.  At that point my notes just became a series of "HA!" in huge, looping letters as I laughed myself into fits while the Pirate Crew, despite fumbling and going the wrong direction for a while, won easily.

Still, sometimes you can just tell when the producers have decided to be heavy-handed and stop their game from becoming too predictable.  I think the Return of the Ghosts was a modified addition to the original gameplan as they desperately tried to think of some way, other than dosing the Triad's food with tranquilizers, to stop said Triad from sweeping the game.

In retrospect, I kind of wish that had worked.

Don't get me wrong, I still think the crew's whining about wanting a fair share of gold is stupid, and I think they should suck it up and be happy they're winning any money at all, especially given that they are consistently too greedy to consider throwing one challenge in order to guarantee a change of captains the easy way.  But I was also deeply, DEEPLY disapointed in Azmyth for being so quick to jump down Jupiter's throat and black-spot her for "inciting mutiny" when the poor woman was only trying to watch his back without completely giving up her spine.  And I was particularly pissed about his condescending remark, "You're being paid for your services," especially when he had the gall to sound almost offended when he said it, like he couldn't understand why such a nice young lady would be trying to stir up trouble for him.  *shakes fist angrily*

Laurel, by the way, wins for Best Pirate Master Threat Ever when she scowls in the direction of Azmyth and says "Stupid freak.  I'm gonna pull out all his fake dreads."  HEE!  I'm just disappointed she didn't repeat that to his face during her otherwise delightful tirade in Pirates Court.

I really did think they were going to mutiny tonight, though.  I guess they couldn't convince Ben, and I'm proud of him for that, hurts to see Jupiter go; I kind of wanted to cry when she drifted off considering all she ever did was try to be diplomatic, which you would *think* that this crew, obsessed with fairness as they are, would understand that.

Tags: pirate master, standoff, sytycd, tape disasters

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