RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

So You Think You Can Write ANOTHER Review On Time?

This is unprecedented, people.  And tonight was insane, emotionally...I kept freaking out and squealing and predicting horrible things, and then changing my mind, and having no idea how it was going to swing tonight...

-I am loving this group jive routine, everyone looks so cute in their little WWII-era outfits to match the song.  See, I don't hate all old music.  I have no problem at all with 40's swing music (fine, so I was totally influenced by Robert Sean Leonard in "Swing Kids") - it's only the 50's ballroom songs I hate. 

-Cat's earrings are ridiculously oversized.  Seriously, no one needs earrings that are half as long as their head.

-So the first showdown is S/D vs. D/A.  Damn it, I want them both to fail.  But in the end it's D/A in the bottom 3 because everyone hates them.  I knew that was going to happen.  Good.

-The next showdown is J/H vs. P/S, and I howl with disappointment because I hate when my beloves are pitted againt each other.  And sure enough, it's my More Beloveds who wll be dancing solos.  I knew that was going to happen too.  Damn.  America, what happened to you?  Didn't you used to love and embrace Hok as the darling of the people?  FICKLE IDIOTS.

-The final showdown is My Most Beloved vs. My Most Despised, and I howl in despair when my third prediction comes true.  Lacey & Kameron are safe, both because voters like to spite the judges, and because America has a disgusting interest in dirty carnal affairs.

-Do you know what's going to happen now?  The judges are going to cut Lauren, because they're not cutting Beautiful Lines Jaimie, and they have this sick love for Anya and her underrepresented ballroom skills, having saved her two weeks in a row.  *sobs*  And you know what else?  They're going to cut Hok because they don't think he's technically up to snuff, and in the absence of a Kameron to throw under the bus (*shakes fist angrily*), he is the weakest link.  I am very, very bitter right now.

-And now I'm not!  Because there's a guy!  Doing some totally fantastic tap dancing!  While half of me gazes in rapture, the other half of me is going to climb on a soapbox and snarl for the umpteenth time about this show's refusal to incorporate tap routines.  IT'S NOT THAT HARD, certainly no worse than mastering a tango in high heels, and they do that on a routine basis.  For God's sakes, tap routines don't have to be even a quarter so ridiculously complicated as this man is doing right now.  Like every other style, you can throw in some partner lifts, some arm movements, ground work, and plain running around the stage.  I'm tired of having my preferred dance genre, especially considering I only have two to begin with, get the shaft.  *HUFFS*

-By the way...I really did love that routine.  The sound of professional tapping all on its own is just the most gorgeous music, no?

-I might actually watch "Back to You" next fall.  It looks funny.  And I love both leads.

-Ooh, Emmy nominations for Mia Michaels and Wade Robson, my two favorites!  YAY.

-What the...*jaw falls open in shock* Anya! You're being GOOD!  ...stop that immediately!  I can't believe this.  Not only is her music choice fantastic, she's finally thrown some real energy into her solo, with high kicks and...oh yes, she finally broke out the twisty waist-spins.  (that is my name for them, and I'm not changing)  CRAP, Lauren is so screwed.

-I may hate Danny with the power of a thousand burning suns, but I still can't stop making little noises of pleasure every time he soars into the air

-Jaimie, too, is pure joy just to watch.  So breathtakingly beautiful, it aches.  People, you cannot let this girl go home any sooner than the top 6, okay?  Also, bless her heart, she's given me a song recommendation.  I want Mindy Smith's "One Moment More"

-HOLY COW, I can't remember the last time I saw Hok be this amazing on his solo.  He's like, literally bouncing off the stage, in the manner of a superball.  A superball with limbs that can twist and flip in fantastic ways.  How can the judges seriously say no after that?  Plus, won't Hok bring in ticket sales for the tour?  They like ticket sales, yes?  *is seized by sudden horror* Oh God, they're going to cut Neil!  They're going to cut Neil because Danny is unequivocally amazing and Hok is unique and poor Neil falls in between!  *sobs* My poor OTP...

-Erm...okay, Lauren, that was good, and deifnitely better than last time you danced solo, but I'm not sure it matches the other two this week.  *sigh* My girl is definitely going home.  This sucks.

-HOLY HELL. Oh my GOD, is that even possible, what Neil is doing on the stage?  He's like, defying the law of gravity!  His Russian jump is approximately 10 feet off the ground (slight exaggeration? maybe), with considerably more than 180 degrees of separation, and there was that incredible twisting roundhouse in the air...!!  My eyes are popping out of their sockets and my mouth is actually hanging open.  I'm too shocked to move, just drinking it in in pure amazement. Okay, he just made Danny look like crap.  Not only is he definitely safe, I think he just gave the judges a reason to cut Danny.

-Oh God, it would be so wonderful if they cut Danny.  Oh please!  Oh please please please please PLEASE!!

-Enrique Iglesias is, as expected, boring.

-Despite the extra-long set of commercials, when we return, Cat is clearly still stalling for time, as she'  Hee. 

-Oh God, I can't look!  This is worse than anticipating the last Harry Potter book!  *buries face in hands*  Just get it over with, eeeeeh!

-Girls: Crap, they're not unanimous and Nigel likes Lauren but I don't think the others do.  Oh, I wish it ws Anya, I wish it was Anya, why can't Lauren stay, why can't OH MY GOD THANK YOU FOR NOT REPEATING LAST WEEK!!  WOO-HOO, LAUREN's SAFE!  WOO-HOOOOOOO!  Seriously, I didn't think her solo was that fantastic, but if it saved her and achieved vengeance for Shauna in the process, I don't care!

-Has anyone noticed that the farewell songs this season are completely forgettable?  I didn't even realize there was one playing until this week.  Certainly no KT Tunstall "Suddenly I See."

-Boys: NO!  Not Hok!  What about the ticket sales??  TICKET SALES MEAN EVERYTHING!   Not Hok, noooooo!!  I was nursing a secret hope he'd be paired with Lauren next week!  They would have been fun!  And the worst part is that even though I think the judges made the best decision under the circumstances, that doesn't stop me from yelling AMERICA, YOU FRICKIN' BUNCH OF IDIOTS.  We could easily have thrown Dominic out the door and thus kept the fun breakdancer, but noooo, you had to love the former's chemistry with Sabra.  And now we have a fugly, horny boy representing the genre instead of the gentlemanly charmer with the velvet accent, the shy smile, the underdog story, the best moves ever, and the ability to paint and play violin.  I hope you're happy.

-Personally, I'm kinda happy because over in the pit, Lauren's got her arms wrapped around Neil, and I am resolutely ignoring the fact that he mostly seems to be just putting up with it.  I am also ignoring the fact that Jaimie is in an embrace with Danny right next to them, because ew. 

-WOO!  Hok is going out in STYLE!  It's almost enough to make me forget the fact that now I only like 4 of the top 10.

-And I am totally, totally placated by the fact that while all the other dancers have turned to watch and clap appreciatively, Pasha and Anya appear to be in their own little world of tender hugging.   It's Pasha's Sad Face!  See, he is clearly the McDreamy of the dance world; you don't even care what girl he's with at the moment as long as you get to see him Care.   Incidentally, this could be an icon, if not for the irritating credits plastered over the screen. 

-Okay, I'll decide it now: My ideal future kicking-off order would be Kameron & Sabra, Dominic & Sara, and...I suppose, Danny & Lauren.  That way Neil and Pasha can battle in the top 2 (<-- seriously needs to happen), Lacey can save face with third (see, I'm being *nice*), and that puts Jaimie in for fourth just because I don't think Lauren's at quite the same level of those girls.
Tags: sytycd

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