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The farther you run

There is a lot of backstory that went into this moment, but I'm not done writing it up, so this is just a random post to express my delight that after spending the second half of my afternoon being sad about Ryan in the first four episodes of season 4, contemplating how heartbreaking it is that even his ostensibly healthy outlets like work and exercise are just ways to prop up the shell, the above phrase drifted through my head, and I sat bolt upright in recognition that

a) this is the title of an amazing novel about a girl getting over the death of her best friend

b) said novel is right there within reach in a stack on my dresser.

Even though it's pure girl bond and nothing I can directly transpose here -- honestly, if I recall correctly, the girl left behind in this book basically turns into season 2 Marissa, complete with an Alex -- I am in a real hello-mommy-I'm-sad place, and I think that is exactly what I want to lose myself in to process it.

And this post exists because, well, I NEVER just have the exact book I want to experience at my fingertips. At best, I know what it is and I have to call it in from a library, or maybe dig through one of my infinity book boxes. But just this once it's here, and, I dunno, it just makes me weirdly happy sometimes to think about the fact that I have read so many books that I have a virtual army at my command, and even if I haven't read the one I need, I might have met it along the way or I know who or what to ask to find one that meets the criteria for nearly any given situation, mood or desire. I love that I've read enough books to be able to sort out the truly quality ones, that I've cast a wide enough net in my life to be able to catch so many truly quality titles that have taken permanent root in my heart.

And this book? It's one of the best. I didn't do it justice on Goodreads, even though I was 20 when I read it, and I can already tell I'll appreciate it so much more now.

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