1. Continued the reign of Super Jamie, the most boring zealot ever to zeal
2. Set up a weird Madonna/
3. Deeply underwhelmed re: fireworks on the kiss they built up to for nearly two damn years.
4. Pit Jamie and Jackson against each other
Me in July: I don't even know which one I am maddest about but I'm pretty sure it's the last one. You know what screw it, I'm gonna flamethrower my OTP and just full steam ahead into the realm of slash. If Jamie can't play nice enough with either of the men I need her to love then I'm gonna toss her out of the equation and make Mitch/Jackson my new fave.
I have been suppressing the desire to run with this since last year, because canon is always superior, I hardly ever slash anyway, and I like to save the non-canon shipping feels for when the canon runs out and I need a new hit of an old love, but whatever. My fondness for the bromance has become epic enough to drop the b. Or replace the b. ♫Confident in bisexuali-tay!♫
[Edit: As you move forward, keep in mind that I spoiled myself a tad on episode 8, probably subconsciously because I needed a reason to push me over the rage hump, and while I am still gonna air my original grievances, I am also still on the Mitch/Jamie train]
GRIEVANCE THREE: Not good enough! *whip*
So. I happily spoiled myself on the stills for this episode before it aired, which included both kiss scenes, and my heart shot the moon. Then I saw them in context and my heart fell into the basement. My reaction was a lot of "you had TWO OFF-SEASONS TO NOT SCREW THIS UP HOW DID YOU SCREW THIS UP," followed by creating this post that I really should have just posted at the time, but I waited too long, so now it is only a storyboard artifact (click for full size 'cause the tag font be tiny in this one):
I just...I wanted it to be a bigger moment. Or I at least wanted to feel more. I felt twenty times more emotion from their reunion hug in 2x05, or one stupid handhold on the beach, than I did for the most significant moment they've had since season 1, and that is not the way it should be. I'm still having a really hard time coming up with why it wasn't saved for the end of the episode, or why the kiss wasn't introduced at the beginning, interrupted by a Panic Plot, and then resolved in a Thank God We're Alive way.
As for the hookup part, well, some people express their feelings through song; I am much better at expressing mine through snarky recap:
Update y'all, they did in fact go bang. In the middle of the day. And then got redressed and continued the plot because who would want their characters to have nice things like a whole night together for their first time when they could instead toss it off as casual "anyway lol thanx for the afternoon delight buddy, now hang on I gotta go do a murder."
I don't even need them to make a big emotional deal out of things; clearly they are both people who are very fine with hookups, but the fact that the most epic reunion was popped off in the early middle part of the episode just to set up that Jamie will put Her Cause before everything did not sit well with me.
I still wanna know what was the point of separating them for 10 years before they ever got together if their reunion wasn't going to be the focal point. If you're gonna be like this, literally nothing would have been changed by eliminating the love triangle and letting them be together in season 2.
I think and hope that most people really liked this scene, though, and more power to you if you did. I think I watched it wrong.
G.3 TAKE TWO
The thing is, I did watch it wrong. I delayed posting this by an extra day because it really bugged me that I didn't love the kiss. I watched it 8 times trying to pinpoint where the bottom fell out, because I definitely appreciate that Mitch finally got to talk to Jamie at the bar without her running away. I liked him answering honestly about how he's doing post-op, I liked him directly confronting her about her dark turn, and what is left? I hypothesized that maybe "How about now?" just didn't feel like enough segue to kissing. I hypothesized that maybe it wasn't the words but the body language; leaning across from two separate chairs is kinda awkward.
But anyone knows that if you watch a thing you want to like enough times, you brainwash yourself into liking it, so guess who is now on board with this moment. Somewhere between my sitting close enough to the computer to notice the emotion in Mitch's face, Jamie's right hand covering his, how much I love his hand on her face, and the swelling orchestral score that reminds me of the Will/Elizabeth beach scene in Pirates of the Caribbean...I stumbled into the promised land of shipper joy. I've even convinced myself to like the very phrase I thought was not good enough. Mitch has previously gone big and gone home alone. So this time it is the smallest possible overture with no expectations attached -- and score.
I am still annoyed about the pacing and Jamie's abrupt departure post-bedroom, though.
GRIEVANCE TWO: Why do you want us to hate women?
Serious question how is that any woman who isn't the literal blessed mother Clementine is cold, calculating and/or pure evil?
Like, I'm not saying that I would not normally be all on board with a team of mercenary lesbians, but when both evil fronts are also personified by power-hungry women and Jamie's ends justify all means and a mother is selling someone else's kid to the highest bidder then...like...to take a Chandler Bing quote completely out of context: WHERE are ALL the MEN?? We're talking about reproductive rights. If the political side of Tumblr has led me to believe anything, it's that men are all about controlling that.
(Looks like they show up in the next installment, tho.)
GRIEVANCE FOUR (again): Jamie/Jackson
Why don't you just stab me through the heart with a hybrid horn. I hope everybody has been whispering to each other like "who's gonna tell her?" / "Not me I don't wanna be there when Televinita's hopes and dreams for the backstory of her fave wayward ship get blown to kingdom come; I heard she threatens to perform brain surgery on people with power drills."
Now, to be fair, I have spent weeks in a state of rage thinking that Jamie sold him out on purpose to further her vengeance quest, because in my patchy scene-jumping I missed the important part where she tried to protect them all with pseudonyms. My feathers have de-ruffled considerably. I'm just...still annoyed. That there is this much bad blood after that amazing scene in 2x13 where he sat on the steps with her and held her while she cried, and I wrote beautiful analysis no one ever saw about them matching heartbreak for heartbreak, the widow and widower of this war.
AND YOU JUST DESTROYED MY HOPE OF THEM BEING PLATONIC LIFE PARTNERS FOR YOUR SHODDY PLOT NEEDS, I WILL MURDER YOU. (well, I'll get my dino-vultures to come after you. Guys, I might be having a problem where Abigail is becoming my hero and I want to join her? I think I'm watching it wrong again...)
GRIEVANCE ONE: canceled.
I had so much more rage about Jamie the Assassin before I sneaked a peek at episode 5's plot and was assured she did not actually go out and do a murder**. Prior to that I was 'bout to drop Jamie into a volcano myself. Plus Mitch does get in some good shots at Logan while they're running around Reiden Tower, so on second viewing this is a lot more fun.
**To be clear, I have been consciously using this phrase in reference to Trelkez's In Secret macro recap (spoilers for that movie), which I have not stopped laughing at.
* Props to the prop department for the dead vulture hybrid.
* "Pizza" is even better than Henry. Do you think he will ultimately have a more significant role to play than Henry, or is he just there to look cute? (I have no problem with him just being there to look cute.)
* I got a giggle out of Mitch's "the vigilante thing? Kinda workin' for me," because it would.
* My favorite part of this entire episode, though, is Mitch and Jackson coming to an agreement that they need to keep an eye on Jamie, just because it reminds me of one of the few things I like about Mitch/Jamie in season 2. Even though I know there is soon-to-be-revealed irony afoot in Jamie being the problem here.