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Zoo 3x06

Never have I ever been so disappointed by this show's breakneck plot pacing than when it makes them waste a literal "tied up in the back of a van" kidnapping plot on Clementine with barely two seconds to spare on Mitch freaking out. Being unbearably emotional about his daughter is Mitch's best attribute. Why would u rob me of this just because your plot demands that he magically know everything he needs to know about where she is and how to get her out in two shakes of a hybrid lamb's tail with no apparent assistance from anyone else.

(is this explained later? is it Duncan related? this all just seemed very weirdly calm and easily resolved for, again, A LITERAL KIDNAP PLOT WHERE SHE ALMOST GOT TORTURED WITH JUMPER CABLES AND SOLD)

I had to go rewatch the entire 2-part Castle episode with this plot and remix it in my head before I could calm down.

It's not even that I can't reason to myself that Mitch can't afford to lose focus by being upset when her life is on the line and he just needs to Get Shit Done, I'm just mad the plot pacing required it in the first place.

I AM 100% on board with Mitch pouring his Earnest Dad Heart out on the way home ("you and this baby are all that I have" !!! tho...that would been even more poignant before anything had happened with Jamie).

Not so on board with Clem spouting off self-righteous BS about being a parent and showing up Mitch in the process. I know he's only been a dad for five minutes of the time she remembers, but that's at least 4.5 minutes longer than she has been a mom. He was yelling at Dariela and it was glorious catharsis; why would you stop that?? What is this weirdo "I would have done the same thing, no biggie" response? I know I am not great at understanding the maternal bond, but I ran it through my "how would you feel if it was your dog” translator, and it still sounds like a horrible thing to admit. Would you also personally murder a
Now, because it's been 25 minutes and I still can't articulate why this irritates me so much, I'm going to leave it at "Clem is officially demoted to below-Logan status who will require the company of either Mitch, Jamie or Jackson in order to earn screen time with me."
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Other Mitch Stuff

1. I know it's so cheap and easy it's almost too pat to include, but I am still happy Jamie got her "grandpa" crack in ASAP.  (also, awww at her casually being there waiting for him to wake up. I choose to believe she's been there the whole time. Also, has anyone / would anyone like to fill in the canon gap of how Jamie found out Clem was pregnant? I feel like that's worth seeing.)

2. HIS FACE when the picture unscrambles. This would be more poignant if I knew he was going to handle this appropriately; say, with an immediate confession. (all right fine I have resumed my bad habits of pre-screening some of the Mitch/Jamie in the next installment between the time I finish watching an episode and the time I write words about it)

EDIT: kateschechterxthorwasmyfirstotp reminded me that I forgot to mention Mitch's life flashing before his eyes after seeing Abendegos, specifically that one frame of brand new ship imagery. A sin for which I should be slapped upside the head, because WHO FORGETS BRAND NEW CUDDLY BED CUDDLING FOOTAGE FOR EVEN A SECOND.


Beta Ship

Well slap my hand and call me Skippy, if those aren't some ship tinglies I feel just before Tessa strolls out again! Jackson is still doing all the heavy lifting by himself, but I have a mile-long record of dudes convincing me to love the person they love with their Stupid Smitten Face.

Also, yeah, Jackson does seem kinda cursed. And by “kinda” I mean “has he ever perchance gone poking around an ancient Egyptian tomb?”

The Horrible Doctor of Oz

Yeah so of all the annoying TV parents I've been forced to continue to suffer despite them being canonically dead, Dr. Oz is the worst.

On the other hand, Abigail? Especially Sweet Lil' Science Nerd Abigail? I just keep liking her more. I feel sorry for her. It's not her fault she has a borderline sociopath for a dad, she just wanted to make him proud! No fair that he made her dark and twisty and fratricidal when she clearly could have made an awesome sibling team with Jackson, if Senior hadn't been such a human garbage can.

That's it, time to make up a new AU -- or rather, my new hobby, which is writing synopses for realistic contemporary novels based on TV characters that I pretend could exist in a world where the TV show doesn't.

One where Jackson and Jamie are actually half-siblings through his mom, and Dr. Oz was never presumed dead but merely took off, so when he actually dies Abigail resurfaces out of the clear blue with nothing but a claim to half his estate. Despite that potential friction, she and Jackson bond immediately, while little-sibling Jamie is irrationally jealous and feels like she's being replaced (ooh, even better, she's even more irritated when Abigail and Mitch bond over SCIENCE!, and the plot of this novel juuust might be Jamie deciding there is something fishy about this heretofore unknown sibling, and putting her investigative journalism skills to work. As to whether there is anything to find? idk, choose your own adventure).

P.S. WAUGHASDKFJASDFJ ABENDEGOS IS EVEN FRICKIN' CREEPIER AS AN INFANT.

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