12:55 PM: Well, I've just finished reading book 6, since I was also reading the Transfigured Hearts series as I went along like the chapter inserts they might as well be, and now I'm going to go check the mail.
1:00 PM: IT'S HERE! *snatches and runs upstairs* First impressions: *opens carefully* Well, that IS a bright cover, isn't it? All ablaze in orange, unlike the other dark and almost drab covers it'll be sitting next too.
*has a thought* Disgustingly optimistic.
But ah, this book is so pristine. Book 6 is in pretty good shape still, but all the others have worn corners and tears in the jackets, and poor Book 4's spine is cracked, with the pages from chapter 1 almost falling out...but this is PERFECT. I'm afraid to open it.
Voice: You do plan to read it at some point, yes?
RS: *tentatively cracks cover* Wow, 759 pages. I didn't look at the text above it! I'm so anti-spoilers right now, I"m not even going to look at the inside cover summary, or the table of contents. I will make this final journey with Harry exactly as Rowling intended it.
V: Not if you don't get started, ye great daft prune.
RS: Potter-speech invades your brain too, then?
V: Sometimes, Hagrid is my hero.
RS: *yelps* OI! I take my death bet off Draco and put it on Hagrid instead! I totally forgot about him. Maybe I should swap Percy/"any other elder male Weasley" for Narcissa too; I've been thinking she might pull a Lily for Draco, and the Weasleys do seem preternaturally protected. I am beginning to think they will all survive. Yeah, yeah, let's do that. *nods*
V: 15 minutes later, she finally starts reading...
-"The Dark Lord Ascending." Well, that's ominous.
-"Happy event taken place within Bellatrix's family"?? But that must mean - Bill and Fleur aren't, no - *flicks ahead a page* TONKS MARRIED LUPIN, WOO-HOO! *throws confetti*
At this news I literally jumped off the bed, exploding with happy bubbles such as I haven't felt since the X-Files series finale, or when the first spoilers about Grissom and Sara being canon hit. I just danced around the house, cheering and skipping. Sucks to be you, anti R/T shippers!
I'm tempted to stop reading right here on page ten, so that nothing bad can happen.
Oh hell, this is an action packed and nervewracking chapter, "Fallen Warrior," and Tonks still isn't back!! Did happiness come so early because it wasn't meant to last long?! But she's - but she's with RON - they have to let her be okay. HAVE TO. There's still the hope of killing Moody; he's not back yet either...and if a bride must die, why can't it be Phlegm?
*turns page* OH THANK GOD. And an emotional return to Remus, too, which I do believe is exactly the kind of scene I most wished to see in DH.
And yep, Mad Eye's gone. Mostly I'm like "Eh, okay. That actor will be out of the 7th movie then, excellent. And also, I wish I'd bet on his death. -.-" To be honest, I'm not that fussed. Although I am feeling bad for Tonks, crying into a handkerchief; I didn't know she was his protogee. Go on and comfort her, Remus! I know you're angry that she got back late without sending word and left you terrified the whole time, but this is war! There is no time for petty disagreements!
Oh, and I almost forgot - HEDWIG'S DEAD. *howls in despair*
V: Damn, why didn't I think to add a pet to my List of Evil Predictions?! That would have been a perfect addition, seeing as I know how much you loved that owl.
Damn it, Lupin, you're bottling things up again. And I'm getting twitchy about it; I want to know why you've got a bug up your ass. This is so frustrating; it's like being in a memory, but it's Harry's memory so I'm stuck with him even though all I want to do is chase after Tonks and/or Lupin and see what's going on there, just beyond my range of vision...
Also, I love how Harry keeps flashing his "I must not tell lies" scars at Scrimgeour. Totally awesome.
Ooh, that'll be Tonks' patronus in the chapter picture, yes?
I do not believe in Dumbledore's deep dark past. Remember, Sirius blamed himself for the deaths of Lily and James. I imagine Dumbledore feels responsible in rather the same way.
Okay, the patronus was a lynx, but Tonks and Lupin were at the wedding so it was okay and OI the Ministry just fell and Scrimgeour's dead. YIKES. Death toll's at 4 if you count the never-before-seen Hogwarts teacher, plus George's poor ear blasted off...
Hey, Moody's not dead?! Optimism strikes again, blech.
V: *smirks* Marks on Tonks' and Lupin's heads again...
RS: Shut UP.
Oops, made a mistake...I think it was just his voice in an enchantment. Marks OFF! *smirks back*
Aww, it's a pic of the young Mauraders!
Ron and Hermione fell asleep holding hands! *coos* Right, so that's gonna be one of the passages I reread a million times...
9? or 10? didn't mark chapter
AW, LETTER FROM LILY TO SIRIUS!
Holy cow, people were right - that throwaway line about the "heavy locket none of them could open" in OotP IS the locket. Blimey. I'd never have connected them on my own, seriously.
-More Lupin, yay!
-Cruciatus Curse used on Tonks' parents - fanfic abounds!
-God DAMN it Remus, stop pouting! You're acting like Tonks tricked you into this marriage. (Distant Voices of Slash Shippers: Squee!)
RS: *turns page*
Lupin: Tonks is going to have a baby
RS: OI! I fantasized about this scenario, I did; I thought a pregnant Tonks in wartime could never ever come true in canon, but holy crap WOOHOO!
Distant Voices of Slash Shippers: Hah! Total entrapment!
RS: Shut up, this rules.
Lupin: I made a grave mistake in marrying Tonks. I did it against my better judgement and have regretted it ever since.
RS: OH MY FUCKING GOD STOP RUINING MY HAPPINESS AND STOP FEEDING THE SLASH SHIPPERS.
Distant Voices of Slash Shippers: *are squeeing selves to death*
Lupin: Don't you understand what I've done to my wife and my unborn child? I should never have married her, I've made her an outcast!
RS: Oh, great. While I dearly love the words "my wife" and "my unborn child" coming from Lupin's mouth, we've already been through this stupid "I love you but I won't let you get hurt" agony in Transfigured Hearts; it dragged on all through book 6, or so I firmly believed. It's very unsettling to have to deal with it canon as well, and lends more credibility to the theory that they did jump into both the relationship and its level of commitment, and man, that's not good because it's fuel for the people who already think the R/T storyline is crap writing and/or came out of nowhere.
-I am giggling madly over Harry's reaction to the news that Lupin wants to join them, though. GOOD BOY, HARRY.
3:58: I am becoming distinctly tired and depressed. Trudging through this book is like...well frankly, it's like wading in waist deep mud. Depressing thoughts EVERYWHERE, Harry/Hermione shippers are gleeing themselves to death with disturbingly just cause, and I know I'm going to be frustrated when I reread this, just like HBP frustrates me as Harry goes on and on about Draco being up to something, but nobody cares...
4:02 *perks up a bit* Okay, well, Ron's back, and I wonder if somehow, the doe was Lily's...
And the H/Hr fest is cracked! UNARGUABLY! Harry's stating, plain as day, that no such feelings ever existed and never will! God, 4:00 must be my lucky hour.
Or maybe the doe was Lupin's? I can't recall what his patronus is; I don't think we ever saw it. Perhaps the great prat left Tonks after all and followed the group in secret. Well, probably not. But I'm not entirely convinced he hasn't ditched Tonks anyway. I KNEW Harry hadn't really gotten him to go back to Tonks. That was just wishful thinking on all our parts.
4:16 PM: I'm not really paying attention to what these idiot kids are doing anymore; all I can think about is poor Tonks, and what she must be going through, and where she is and how she's getting along...
4:24: NOOOO not Ted Tonks!! *howls miserably* Remus is still being a prat! I don't even get to IMAGINE a comfort scene right now!
4:25: (further down the page) Or...he's not. It seems that Harry *did* convince him to go back to Tonks, and what's more the baby's still all right. *BEAMS* Right, so I believe I wanted to imagine a comfort scene...*gazes off into space*
Ooh, captured by Death Eaters - Bellatrix included? This should be FUN.
Ohhhh, the angst as Hermione screams under torture, and Ron, a helpless prisoner, rages "half sobbing" against the wall of the cellar below...dude, do you realize this the second scene I've fantasized about, but thought would never ever come true in canon? I always figured Hermione would always be able to do some kind of magic to save herself if anything really bad happened. Helpless rage in the face of a loved one's torture is one of my favorite things in fanfic, you see. Hard to come up with a lot of believable scenarios for it, but when you get one...
Whoops, there goes Pettigrew. *shrugs* But I probably should have seen that one coming.
NOOOOOOOOOOO DOBBYYYYY!!!!!!!! *howls*
V: *curses* I should have put longshot odds on him.
RS: SHUT UP! DOBBYYYYY!!
Awwww, Lupin's got his baby boy, named after Ted of course. But I can't BELIEVE he's using the fanfic name of "Dora" in reference to Tonks; I kinda hate that. *sighs* I like mrstater's TH version better; their firstborn's a girl named Alba whom I've rather grown to love, but then that was written prior to the death of Ted Tonks. I guess I can't complain too much; Lupin's got a son and that seems like a terribly important connection to James, so all is well.
The last several chapters, a good hundred pages, have flown by without me even noticing...this is so full of action; I'm totally caught up in it and absorbed in the words too much to think of stopping. They're all at Hogwarts, fighting...Snape IS still totally evil, and he'd better stay that way...OMG THE DIADEM. How stupid am I? I just talked about not noticing throwaway lines about Horcruxes, and I just read that book this morning, and I know he's looking for a diadem Horcrux...and AT NO POINT DID IT OCCUR TO ME TO REMEMBER THE TIARA PLACED ATOP THE STATUE IN THE ROOM OF REQUIREMENT. Even though I had a beloved sim horse named Tiara, whose first daughter I named Diadem, so I am perfectly aware of the synonym.
And I'm getting terrified for Lupin and Tonks again; the latter just showed up. Seriously, my stomach is squirming into painful knots...I'm afraid they'll end up just like the Potters, giving their lives to fight Voldemort, leaving their baby son behind...
Out with Crabbe, then. *shrugs*
OH MY GOD, NOT FRED, NOOOOOO!
Voice: COLLECTION! SWEET justice;I totally win at predictions.
RS: *is howling miserably in a corner* But George - they've never been apart - it's just so WRONG!!
Okay, from now on, I'm covering the page with a sheet of paper to stop myself reading more than two lines at a time, so I can't let my eyes jump down like they did there and give me another nasty shock...
Chuck those crystal balls, Trelawney!
5:31: Ohhh...and there goes Snape, presumably still evil, which is why it's so awesome when he's pretty much FED TO NAGINI. Sweet justice, says I, and a prediction win for Mum. I'm feeling left behind.
V: That's all you have to say about Snape's death?
RS: *shrugs* I wasn't feeling it.
5:32: Snape: *pours memories out for Harry*
RS: And he might not actually be evil. Gr, that's another of my predictions screwed over.
Chapter 33, "The Prince's Tale"
5:33: And by the looks of this chapter heading, he might actually have been in love with Lily. Ew. I hate when the internet is right about weird crap like that. Will Dumbledore be rising from the dead next?
5:34: WHAT. THE. FUCK.
*slams book shut* Incidentally, I didn't even realize I'd screamed in outrage until my parents called up to make sure I was all right. They kinda figured it had something to do with Harry Potter, though.
5:45: *sobs and throws up* I can't even talk about it.
6:30: I don't even care what happened after that. I read the book, I finished it, and I still don't care. I hate this book. I got screwed out of every single one of my predictions, except Harry being a Horcrux, and I don't fucking care.