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Oof.

All right. When Miami Medical took over Numb3rs time slot in its final, cut-down year, I threw a fit sight-unseen and later had to issue a formal apology to its excellence for my behavior. Mindful of this, I decided to sit myself through NBC's "Good Girls," in part because I did in fact think it sounded potentially intriging on paper. It is a point of pride (or...regret?) that I stuck it out to the end of the pilot despite ascertaining in 2.5 minutes that it was not my cup of tea.

Let's just say it would not be my thing on the best of days, but to have its loudmouth, ostentatious and crass dichotomy of heavy drama and dark comedy occupying the timeslot previously occupied by the noble, super-serious, prestigious The Brave is a special level of insult. It's like some kind of meme. "What u think America is about vs. what America is actually about."

Just...wow. All the acting pedigree in the world is not enough to save this script from its obnoxiousness at truly every turn (if it's not being obnoxious, it's just being gross. Or sometimes it's just downright disgusting and turns your stomach. That attempted rape was, um, A Lot).

Like, listen. If Zach Gilford, who is suing his ex for custody of their child, is my favorite character in this show starring women and created by a woman, you’re doing something wrong.

(I mean, he's not being mean about it. He's as pleasantly as possible explaining that he and his wife are able to provide a better home environment than her poor minimum-wage-making single mom ass, and he even did the courtesy of giving her a heads up about needing to hire a lawyer before court. Please note he said all this much more nicely than I did. In related news, Zach Gilford just won himself a role in my next pregnancy-themed YA novel read.)

In other words: if this show gets renewed and The Brave doesn't, I'm burning Utica to the ground.

So long story short, I am currently baffled beyond all understanding that this creator, Jenna Bans? The one whose name is so familiar to me but for reasons I could not place until I looked her up? ...is also the one responsible for creating my beautiful, beloved, one of a kind unparalleled and unjustly panned paradise Off the Map.

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