But I first I need to do a random dive into TV talk, specifically because after teasing you with Scorpion references, we're gonna do a sharp dive left into Hawaii Five-0, because it was the only thing I could think of to put on last night to lull myself into sleep mode, and I have some THINGS TO SAY about 8x18. And, I guess, a bit about all the 2018 episodes I secretly watched before then.
So, I came back to this show's first episode shortly after New Year's, expecting some nice, simple little background noise on a Friday night, and then this happens:
"Less than sixty seconds to get me so emotionally invested in a random family that I howl in devastation to see it broken up via murder? Damn, that’s a new record."This launches what turns out to be a wildly fascinating rest-of-season-long arc featuring Kono's husband -- well, fascinating when I don't worry too much about how fine Kono actually is with all this, especially being what feels like half a world away while he's in constant peril of torture/death if discovered -- that kept me following along, especially once Jessie was recruited.
"— SON OF A BITCH YOU KILLED ALL OF THEM? What the crap, Hawaiii! I come to you for Danny’s cute kid(s), heroic rescues and kicky fun buried treasure and have absolutely no frame of reference for your…
…ohhhh, I forgot about CBS’s “January Bloodbath” policy."
(who is she? who knows! not this gal! but she's cute and fills the void left by Kono with non-romantic but still stellar chemistry with him, which simultaneously gives me an excuse to enjoy Adam's Concerned Face as well as his 'oh damn gotta get almost killed by a friend in the name of realism' face, so that works for me.)
Meanwhile, Tani & Junior continue to be great (especially undercover as fake marrieds/prospective parents at a snooty private school!); McGarrett has not yet fixed his Ghetto Vin Diesel look so he remains dead to me unless in the company of his dog or dragging Danny for the latter's useless-to-actively-harmful dumbass of an uncle; and I still don't know why they're trying to open a restaurant on the side.
I stopped following shortly after night work started, because it was enough demand for me to keep up with 3 other shows online, but that takes us up to last night and the reason I am posting now.
The Main Event a.k.a. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
I was actually planning to fall asleep watching, but hahahaha this was not the episode for that. I might still have missed some parts of it in my getting-over-illness-and-also-being-tire
What is that! What is that! This entire storyline looked like it was set up to warn me that even though rescued women might have feelings of gratitude that feel like love (something something transferrence?), and/or men might have a White Knight/Savior Complex, it is the Professional Guy's Professional Responsibility to not act on that (something something taking advantage? idk because it is against my hurt/comfort religion), and I should expect nothing more than basic human empathy OH OKAY I GUESS YOU'RE HAVING A FLASHBACK TO A NIGHT YOU SPENT TOGETHER.
At this point I genuinely could not be sure I was not still very sick, instead of on the mend, and hallucinating everything. That was a flashback, right, not a fantasy? I would check on YouTube to be sure, but I don't want to spoil myself on subsequent episodes. Though I guess it doesn't matter too much because either way, it still happened on the screen in front of mine own two eyes.
But oh, damn, does that make his swaggery taunts to the Jackass Husband, and willingness to have his own lights punched out in to ensure an arrest/prison time, that much more satisfying. Also oh my god I need to go rewatch that ambulance scene immediately.
(what have I done to earn such wealth! out of nowhere! for no reason! You literally just made up a character for Danny to be swoon-worthy about! I know the real headline here is 'local television show beats up random woman for manpain; feminists hate it!" but I love it never stop)
I guess the larger point was that said woman ultimately decided to rescue herself and peaced out so Danny could How I Met Your Mother his way into a doomed disaster bomb of a marriage; ain't it funny how life turns out...but if u think I will not conveniently run with that reference all the way into a Carter and Bays' "sometimes the woman you marry is mostly only important because she'll give you kids" conclusion, u r wrong. (did I once ship Danny and Rachel? If so, what quaint times. I do not recall them.)
(Also LMAO I think the entire fandom is still calling bull on Danny not recognizing his shooter because of a haircut and because he just "never thought about him again" after GETTING HIS FACE BASHED IN by the guy amid a very calculated trap to put him away. Presumably he would also have seen him again in court, possibly more than once, testifying? Like. There was just a lot of interpersonal involvement there on multiple occasions; I don't buy that it was so minor to Danny he couldn't place the guy, even after 20 years. Obviously this was a way more satisfying story than a logical explanation would have been, but you gotta let me rag on you a little.)
Other Fun Facts & Comments About This Episode
- Apparently it was directed by Alex O'Loughlin. Well, this was definitely the script to pick. Good work, dude.
- Apparently the weirdly conspicuous old guy cameo was Jimmy Buffet. (I am so not Hip to the Old People's Icons)
Clavo Cruz"Gonzalo Menendez" playing a hardnosed detective remains hilarious to me
- Apparently Adam has a half-sister?? We're finally getting some momentum on his storyline and I almost forgot that amid all the other intense/amazing stuff. (p.s. seriously Kono, stuff is going down out here; get your man)
- Junior & Tani's Day On The Beat -- despite my serious questions about why two rookies would be sent on patrol together -- would have been an entire episode highlight in any other week. From the funny to the super-serious/sweet, I was enthralled by every minute. I would watch a whole series about the two of them in a squad car, I'm saying.
- AND ALSO Danny's son made a cameo appearance to be picked up and smiled at adorably, because perfect ep is perfect
- Re: My cut text -- for real, I really need to know how Danny is pulling off this heart takedown on strength of character alone, considering that he still has not broken into the Handsome Men's Club despite an unusual number of qualifying opportunities to do so.
- Did this just become my new favorite of the season? I don't even know. It has so much competition. But maybe? WHY/HOW IS SEASON 8 SO GOOD. It's clear now, right, why I'm glad it was renewed?
I just found a couple of clips plus a handy fanvid set to "She Will Be Loved" (or a cover of it) that covers al of Danny & Brooke's interactions, and now that I have seen them with full consciousness and found everything to be better than I remember, here is a list of specific delights:
- Oh my gosh she is just so pretty
and I love her outfit in that first flashback
- Her involuntary whimper/flinching away from his first attempt at an empathetic touch, and him backing off immediately
- His sweet insistence on her at least taking the card -- to be hidden well away from her husband -- in case she changes her mind, despite being told 6 ways from Sunday to leave with no charges pressed
- I'm very Joey Tribbiani in my food tastes, so please know that there is nothing better you can come to my door with than sandwiches. (or: what a cute scene that was! even when I still thought it was just gonna be a nice normal how-ya-doing check-in)
- Ohhhhh man there is hair stroking in the ambulance scene -- and a handhold! hair stroking and a handhold. And now that I know it means something I'm dead now thanks
- There is one (1) acceptable reason to not follow your S.O. into an ambulance and Danny found it (i.e. "when you gotta go find the scumbag responsible and make him immediately sorry he even thought about laying a hand on her again")
- When you turn up with a matching bruised face as proof that when you say you'll take care of it, you take care of it 😍
- (but also, if you wanna go angsty: now you know exactly what she went through, or could have gone through, and that's gotta hurt even worse)
- That final flashback is, um...look, the kiss would have been plenty but I am in no way turning down the rest. I just lack the non-embarrassing vocabulary requisite to elaborate.
- Super tight hugs!!
- I love that whatever they had was important and significant, but not so much that it stopped her from leaving, and that it seems like neither of them regretted either it happening or it ending. Hang on, hang on, I got a real good quote from Lynn Hall's The Giver about this: It doesn't have to be logical, it doesn't have to be love in the usual sense. It doesn't even have to be long lasting. Usually it isn't. But whatever it is, it is real and powerful while it lasts, and there's no point denying it.
- (BUT ALSO, U KNOW I'M GONNA TRY OUT LIFE IN THE AU WHERE HE TURNS AROUND WITH NO RACHELS IN SIGHT)