RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

"Haha what a cracky looking movie," I said. "This will be fun," I said.

[note: this is a backdated post entered June 1 after I temporarily lost my pw for this site]

Watching "Shark Night 3D" because Katharine McPhee is in it was a Bad Idea.

I don't mean that in a "haha what a cheesy and terrible waste of time" jokey way, I mean that despite being PG-13, it pushed that rating about as far as it can go and made me genuinely sick to my stomach. I went to bed expecting nightmares and woke up still feeling awful about her character's death.

And like, this a C-grade slasher movie. It should not have anywhere near enough character development or acting prowess for anything to bother me. I checked this movie out knowing nothing about it but expecting to have a good time watching sharks leap out of the water and perform other unrealistic stunts in their pursuit of Tasty Human, so how I can complain about the movie being meta in that regard?

I dunno, especially as none of the other deaths made much impact on me, but maybe it was the skin-crawling vibe of two leering creeps having a woman alone out in the middle of nowhere, because between ordering her at gunpoint to strip (to her underwear, because PG-13, but despite those items covering more skin than the string bikini she wore earlier, it was grosser) and the extended gloating/taunting session following that for her to cry and contemplate her impending horrible death was just really, really viscerally upsetting to me.

(Do I know what to do with the fact that one of the psychos will later reunite with her on screen in Scorpion as genius psycho Mark Collins? I do not. But I suspect that probably didn't help how I reacted to it.)

And then like all the leadup wasn't horrible enough, she couldn't even get a quick death (why I subjected myself to the end, IDK; I guess this rogue part of my brain that doesn't listen to reason kept waiting for it to turn into a crime show where the killer stalls just long enough for law enforcement to arrive and save the last would-be victim, and when that didn't happen I felt betrayed all over again). Why are cookiecutter sharks a thing.
Tags: movie reviews
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