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Or, HANDS UP FOR THE CRIMINAL MINDS SEASON 14 PREMIERE, WHICH I AM ALSO GOING TO YELL ABOUT THIS WEEK WITH NO CONTEXT TO SET IT UP.


QUICK BACKGROUND: basically, my head is still swamped with how much I loved season 12, despite secretly watching all of season 13 while hoping I might eventually catch up on writing in chronological order; you can probably find some flailing about it on my Tumblr, but long story short season 13 was also pretty darn amazing, not lease because I have adored the addition of a Beyond Borders member (even though I was also too swamped by how much I loved the end of that show to close it out).

I also realized today that I never actually watched the finale because I accidentally spoiled myself on the awesome last scene last May, so I was going to wait until it had receded a bit in hopes the plot would be fresh, but then I didn't get around to it. And then the sneak peeks for this one happened and I absolutely did not care anymore; I wanted details on "Reid and Garcia held hostage and threatened together" and I wanted it NOW. Never has a "previously on" recap been so useful to me.

And goodness, but that was perfect. I can't even wrap my head around it yet, so lemme just rack up my shopping cart full of presents here:

  • Garcia's panicky "oh my god it's you, you're...really hurt" (true! visibly so!)

  • His expression with a gun to his head (thanks for putting that in the promo. that was helpful.)

  • Reid seamlessly using a fake emotional breakdown (perfected by years of actual breakdown experience) to buy distraction

  • Reid swiftly SHUTTING. IT. DOWN when Garcia tries to sacrifice herself in his place (there's my fave streak of chivalry! I mean friendship. Wrapped in chivalry.)

  • Insisting that the team needs her, not him

  • [Possibly there was more to this interaction but it was very windy and reception broke up most of it]

  • Garcia's shell-shocked state post-escape, including the "it's all my fault,", kept on an even keel by JJ

  • And flinching away from Matt's attempt to lay a comforting hand on her shoulder (I feel like that could have been Luke, for maximal squee, but I'll take it)

  • A fakeout murder attempt to induce reactionary panic/struggling

  • A real and very close shave of a murder attempt, so as to enjoy quiet resignation/dread

  • (it feels like there is something to unpack here with Reid's sedate "guess I'll die" approach -- or as someone on Twitter put it, "he's been through so much that being threatened with murder doesn't even faze him anymore" -- but I'd like to see if that's going to play out more in the future first)

  • Hug-collapsing onto JJ when rescued

  • Handhold w/ JJ on the plane

  • Telling Prentiss he's never told them "how much I love all of you"

  • Coming back & hugging Garcia just as tight**, because we as a fandom needed that even though normal editing might dictate that the plane scene was a perfectly fine way to end an episode

  • **for a really long time, which, THANK YOU AGAIN

  • (x)

AND ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THINGS:
To quote a Crazy Ex-Girlfriend lyric, Garcia being all boss-ass bitch / no one's above me, with the --

  • Demanding to see Reid until she gets her way, and informing them she will happily die before she helps them (until convinced otherwise by them threatening to kill him instead. Some shows let their computer wizards pull of all kinds of fancy tricks to avoid doing bad things while making it appear that they are doing as told, and I love that she was not able to pull off anything of the sort)

  • Telling Non-Princess Isabella Maria Lucia Elisabetta of Valencia that she hates her, in the most carefully enunciated and scathing way, which I am pretty sure she has never said to anyone in her life, and certainly not like that

  • Then flooring it and KNOCKING HER ASS DOWN WITH A CAR (admit it, you cheered)

AND ALSO SOME OTHER BONUSES, LIKE:

  • The conspicuously casual cameo of "hey remember how there's this pretty girl that Luke likes/is possibly dating? good. we're coming back to that later"

  • JJ crying in the bathroom at the idea of losing one or both of her closest friends

  • And being comfort-hugged by Emily, CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT

I can't even get into my delight with alll the callbacks and history being thrown around. I'm not entirely well versed in it pre-season-8, but I can track the canon a lot better than I can on NCIS. I shrieked with delight when I realized how they were tying it in to the Luke Perry cult, and I very much appreciate the general dedication and tenacity Erica Messer has for putting pieces together like this. I'm sure I have disagreed with her show choices occasionally, but for the most part, I am just really impressed by her always.

In sum, so excited going forward!

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