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Aaand then I tried to go Double or Nothing on Netflix shows today and lost. The Haunting of Hill House was so TERRIBLE, oh my god. So slow. So boring. Why was the episode almost sixty full minutes long when no more than three were interesting. Every character is varying shades of boring and awful and I want them all to be murdered.

There was a VERY tiny amount of house porn, but almost no scares at all. I would go so far as to say zero scares. There were two brief scenes that were kind of cool and eerie -- the flight from the house/figure in the window, and Nell twirling through the abandoned house -- but that was IN NO WAY worth the price of admission from the hideously slow pacing. The ending was supposed to be scary, but it was just dumb and kind of gross.


Someone on Tumblr called it "Supernatural This Is Us," and from what I can tell that is a very apt description (that show is also hideously slow and melodramatic), and basically it's been almost 90 minutes since it ended and I am actually still getting more enraged by the minute that I wasted so much time tonight watching it when I could have been watching The Good Cop.

I cannot FATHOM why anyone continued to watch it after episode 1 and I am absolutely 100% not going to give it a chance to improve, because I don't even have enough time to watch the shows I like and am definitely not gonna give Netflix views for crappy things. I spoiled myself on the ending just to make sure and then found a nice article showing "all the hidden ghosts you might have missed" a.k.a. what I'm pretty sure is literally every good scene in this 10+ hour mess.

Is Netflix usually this bad at making content?? Because none of their shows have even interested me before this year*, and now that they've got a 50% fail rate on the ones that do, the sense I'm getting is that it's like a rich kid with too much inheritance to spend and zero business sense.

*Exception: I have been meaning to give Free Rein a try. But still, that's kid content, not Primetime TV competition.
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Long story short, it is partially on me for not knowing what I was getting into because I decided to read exactly zero reviews or summaries in detail for fear of spoilers, but honestly I think what I really want at this point -- and probably did from the beginning -- is to just rewatch that magnificent beauty "The Haunting" (1999) and call it a day.

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