OH THAT WAS SO SATISFYING.
Just gonna run down some random thoughts:
- Secret sex tapes as leverage! (full offense but if you'd rather risk a woman going to prison for life than own up to your teenage dumbassery and debauchery then I'd...be tempted to find a way to release those tapes on principle, and only laws against revenge porn would stop me)
- (also am I the only one who felt like those witnesses were SO desperately important that they should have begged them to come into protective custody from the moment they agreed to testify? Like, at minimum, let's hire a bodyguard for a few days or have them them go home with the law office personnel. Eternal buddy system, zero alone time, will sit outside the bathroom door while you pee, that level of caution.
- Always appreciate a good PSA against having sex in high school, btw. Nobody's lives would have been ruined (or lost) if all those girls had wanted to remain virgins until college!
- Nice nice nice on the reveal that Toby's guilt stemmed from being Ravi's henchman and doing his "dirty work."
- Loved finding out that Levi never intended to honor his deal to testify against Maddie and was instead just biding his time, waiting to sass out Bellows on the witness stand by repeatedly saying he Kind Of Forgot (timely Game of Thrones zinger!), chill and fine with being tossed in jail for contempt as a stalling tactic.
- Right about the time Heather was confirmed to not be a murderer is when I started to think, "Wow, what a bummer that Rosemary's killer is just gonna be Some Nobody out of the blue after all her great peer suspects."
- And right after that is when I went, OH WAIT. WHAT IF...it's That Guy. The sleazy billionaire guy. That would be good payoff. AND SO IT WAS.
- The flashback to the murder was so good and exactly what I hadn't realized I wanted to see. That was fully on the level of a Cold Case flashback and I approve.
- (For reference: Madeline was "out of it" because Rosemary slipped her some drugs to knock her out so Ravi couldn't find her for rapey de-virginizing purposes. When Rosemary defied Ravi's demands to deliver her friend to him and foolishly turned her back to walk away, he ragestroked out and bashed her head in.)
- When we had 7 minutes left after the "not guilty" verdict (which gave me stress heart attacks waiting for Madam Foreperson to say, btw), I was concerned I might have to watch a bunch of treacle with her girlfriend and family, BUT NO. We got Gore Bellows, Cold As Hell, casually doing the most satisfying murder in the history of ever. I WAS VAGUELY RIGHT.
- (Seriously, I woke up the day after typing out my dream of him killing his wife, and was like, LOL, but that wouldn't make any sense because he would never stoop to the level of the girl he is so passionately trying to ensure gets her comeuppance. He could never actually be a murderer. BUT APPARENTLY HE COULD.
- And honestly, yah that dude deserves the longterm suffering of jail, but that was a good and righteous killing and I was waiting for it from the moment Bellows requested a meeting at the top of a suspiciously high cliff. It was that or suicide, which they baited for a minute, and I greatly prefer the murder. Some people are just such scum that it's better to wipe them out of existence and forget them, even if it's somewhat less suffering than they deserve. So satisfying.
- Like, the symbolism of sending his body hurtling down to exactly where Rosemary's was found was just... *chef's kiss*
- Best of all, everything wrapped up neatly, and despite Maddie's vague suspicion of what really happened to Ravi (and good for her and her instincts), the series is over forever so I get to believe that no matter how hard she tries, she just can't pin him for it. And later the junior associate gets rehired in the AG's office and All Is Well.
- Bodie's sleazebag girlfriend is so OTT and overwrought. "Oh noooo now his REAL MOM has custody! He's obviously MY KID; how dare she take him from me! She totally can't stay sober much more than the 10 months she already has! " And we all know how little patience I normally have for addicts or their promises to get better, so my hatred of Sleaze Cop is just that strong.
- Also, even if I hadn't hated it, this plot strand was so weak and rushed. They went from casual banging to him promising to stay in her quasi-kid's life in like, five episodes. You can't just tell me time has passed; when it comes to evolving a relationship I gotta feel it in my bones. Another reason I am not a fan of 13-episode seasons in general, if they can be avoided.