RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,
RS
rainbowstevie

Well, there goes my wedding.

I guess it was stupid to hope I could have even a tiny wedding during a pandemic, but the way things were in September it REALLY seemed like this was 100% possible, doing a tiny guest list comprised of only the two households we're from (and since we see each other, basically one household -- even his sister is not invited, because she lives out of state), with only two other people (who are married to each other!) present to officiate and take photos.

But because of yesterday's new governor orders, now I have to choose between rescheduling my accidentally awesome date (12-12!!), and thus continuing to play with fire re: potential blizzards...and having a wedding that has no cake or drinks, and where masks are worn every single second except the brief moment we kiss, so all the photos are ruined except artsy shots from behind or any we take outside, weather permitting.

I don't want to reschedule. I don't want to move into the apartment until I'm married, and Chris doesn't want to live there alone. He was only just willing to do it for a few weeks, if I visited regularly, when he moved in four days ago.

But I also really do not want masks in my photos -- which prior to yesterday I was promised would not be an issue -- because I have worked damn hard to get a pretty dress and coordinate everyone's outfits, which have all been tailored so everyone is watching their diet VERY carefully, and get a pretty bouquet and everything. We and our families take so few photographs as it is. I want to have mementos that let me remember people's faces, not just their eyes + the devastating reminder of this hell year.

I have no idea what I'm going to do.
Tags: life
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