I think I am becoming addicted to writing about TV. Not TV itself; that I can manage. It's the writing about it part that has me beginning to worry about feelings of obsession. It's not even about sharing it and/or getting comments anymore, or even practicing quality writing (...wait, it was never about that), it's the feeling that I can't settle after watching something unless I physically write reactions to it. I mean, for example, on Friday night I was watching Erin Brockovich, and I woke up on Saturday feeling unbalanced because video had gone into my brain but thoughts hadn't come out. That's kind of sick.
Anyway. Maybe next week I'll give myself paragraph limitations. In the meantime...
(This isn't technically feeding the addiction because it was already written.)
Survivor: Random Spits & Spats
About Erik the Cute Musician: I love how he says that it’s because he just felt he hadn’t found the right person, yet seems to be implying that in a matter of THIRTEEN DAYS he’s found his soulmate. Ugh. His and Jamie’s flirtation was actually even more uncomfortable to watch than the previews suggested, and not just because she's the most bland and nondescript contestant I've seen in a long time.
"I think that proves he's even more trustworthy," she claims at the end, and I LAUGH HYSTERICALLY because...actually, I stop laughing because curiosity drove me to Google, where I learned that apparently, unless this is an incredibly complex publicity stunt, they're still dating right now. Well. Hm. Better than Rob & Amber.
The non-cynical part of me would like to add that this whole “revelation” counts as about 12 more reasons to love him, although cynical part is quick to point out that I have a double standard for virginity in which I expect the guy to have some experience in the matter. I can’t decide how to feel. What is the public saying about his virgin status? I’ll go with the opposite of that.
The twist was amusing, especially the part where the camp I’m affectionately calling Dumb as Rocks thought they were going to be given the advantage of two incredibly strong players for no reason at all. Actually, given Survivor is fond of screwing people out of the game for no reason at all (spoiler alert!) I guess it stands to reason that they might expect the opposite twist to happen one of these times. But that fails to take into account the fact that Mark Burnett is evil.
Of course, I’m not sure the other tribe was much smarter, given that they picked Sherea over, say, the wiry and tough-as-nails PG, or possibly the fairly buff – at least in comparison to the others - Erik. I honestly cannot fathom what makes a person look at Sherea and go “Yeah! THAT’S the strong challenge warrior we want!”
The challenge itself was fairly dull. Not to mention stupid, since it’s really no fun to watch two women giggle and drag their heels and clearly NOT BE TRYING AT ALL. The key part to throwing challenges is to not *alert* people to the fact that you are throwing them. The tribes were very good about this last year. It made for much better television. Although it would have been funny if *both* tribes had gotten the idea to throw the challenge. It could have turned into an endurance contest of “who’s willing to hang out here on the beach, pretending but not actually doing the challenge the longest?”
All I really have to say about TC is that I’m glad they got rid of Aaron rather than James. I wasn’t all that attached to Aaron, although I still wish J-R had gone before him.
Grey’s Anatomy: The Heart of the Matter
*perks up* Rantview? Is it time for a Rantview? I think it is! I have way too many notes to categorize, so I’m going with a classic Rantview. Which is really kind of a misleading title, since I’m not going to rant that much, per se, but…it’s the standard title for writing reactions in a running-commentary type way while using a numbered list. So we’re going with it.
1. Uh-oh. Alex/Izzie? It’s never good when they reference past relationships. *worries*
2. “I FORGIVE YOU?!” WHAT? No - dammit, George! This is why I told you to follow up "slept with" with "In love with her!"
3. “We took vows.” You took vows in a damn Vegas chapel which I'm almost POSITIVE was not before God, and not that that’s a major requirement for marriage, but it would have lent a lot more weight to the sanctity of your “vows”.
4. I feel like everything I say about their marriage should be in quotes from now on. Let’s see if I can keep that up.
5. Even I'm faintly nauseated by the thought of 48 hours of "this." 48 hours of the meaninglessness and the debauchery…no. McDreamy is very dreamy indeed, but I need to not have images of him spending entire weekends in bed. Balance is important, my dreamy man.
6. Meredith bartering with Alex for shift coverage = hee!
7. "I'm gonna have to put you in the clinic if you miss rounds!" --Meredith to George. This is the best threat I’ve ever heard. Especially when delivered in a tone that’s less menacing and more “naughty puppy, put that down or I’ll put you in your crate!”
8. George running like a madman through the hospital is one of the greatest pieces of visual comedy ever delivered on this series.
9. Lady – your ankle is the size of a grapefruit and YOUR ENTIRE FOOT IS BLUISH-PURPLE. I do not think you shall be training on it anytime soon, much less later today.
10. *spends 10 minutes laughing at George crashing into the supply cart* Visual gold.
11. I love how the background music is taking great pains to let us know that Izzie’s ass-kicking will be a comic event, and not just a way to land another former intern on the operating table. Because, you know, they COULD have chosen that angle. I believe Callie has a lot of bloodlust in her.
12. I love how pleased Lexie looks to have big strong McDreamy defend her against evil Yang. He really is a great teacher. And a good disciplinarian, kicking Yang out of the room. HAH!
13. Okay, that’s going to get annoying fast. (World’s Oldest Intern speaking like a dumb intern, with “Seriously!”)
14. McSleazy! Yes! McSleazy, how did I not realize this before?!
15. Adult women should not wail like babies., fatal diagnosis or no. *HATES*
16. Izzie: What are you doing at lunch?
Alex: According to my interns, I’m watching Torres kick your ass all up and down the cafeteria.
Best quote of the episode right there!
17. Wow, I did not think they could top the eyeball surgery for grossness - but there it is! Throat-slitting & tubing!
18. ZOMG, “CAMILLE” IS BERNIE MAC’S NIECE! This is going to be fun. I love that actress.
19. If this woman lost 40 pounds, she's clearly anorexic. (Eating disorders are the only disease I can ever, ever predict on med shows. I call them with confidence and pride) Also, daily Ibuprofen = HUGE RED WARNING FLAG OF DOOM.
20. I am…torn over how to feel about this couple. On the one hand, her boyfriend gives off a strong vibe of “controlling asshole.” On the other, if I were that woman, I would certainly feel like moving in with my boyfriend was a good motivator to lose weight I probably needed to lose anyway (she wasn’t exactly a walking skeleton), and better too thin than too fat (in terms of personal comfort and self-consciousness).
21. Lexie > Meredith, so on the one hand I appreciate that she has enough spine to stick up for herself when she’s being ill-treated. Unfortunately, Cristina > Lexie, so no backtalk. Three.
22. Alex?! "I'M EMBARRASSED FOR YOU"?! Oh no he didn’t. I cannot accurately calculate the number of ways in which I want to hurt Alex right now. What the hell is with the attitude? Like Alex is a pristine pillar of holiness and model behavior? *snort*
23. I kind of got chills during Camille’s speech. I can’t even snark about it.
24. OK, for once, I think Cristina was justified in throwing Lexie out of the room…but Derek doesn’t know that. You see what happens when you abuse your Nazi power? You can’t use it when it really matters.
25. Izzie: You guys seen Callie?
Cristina: Ooh! Is it time for her to grind your bones into dust?
Second best quote! The jokes in this storyline are endless!
26. Aaand…yeah, I knew this fight wasn’t really going to happen. Honestly, I’m surprised Izzie thought it was. I mean, did she REALLY think Callie was going to physically attack her at work, in front of dozens of witnesses, in a move which would probably get her fired?
27. And thus am I scared away from using ibuprofen, for fear that I will one day begin coughing up blood.
28. And this is why, when told you’re going to die, you don’t start burning bridges/money THAT DAY. Haven’t you ever seen…that Queen Latifah movie?
29. WHAT, Callie, are you kidding? Is this just one of those ploys doctors use to get people to snap to attention? …oh my God, I think the woman really did die from her malnutrition/ulcer/heart strain. Well, that sucks.
30. However, I have decided not to blame the boyfriend. I’m looking for anger, believe me, but I’m just not finding it. Girl was loved and left a beautiful corpse, it’s not all bad.
31. I’m trying to figure out if the “you didn’t love her!” rant is supposed to be a metaphor for Callie or Izzie. At first I thought she was ranting about Izzie, but after “you don’t destroy the person that you love!” it sounds more like Callie is talking about how George treated her. Of course, this sounds too good to be true, because in order for it to be true, Callie would have had to actually come to the realization that I’ve been SCREAMING AT THE TELEVISION SCREEN FOR MONTHS. You know, the part where she realizes whatever George was feeling when he proposed to her was not actually love.
32. Callie sure is full of crazy today. May I request that she be packed off to the psych ward? No, I don’t feel she’s been punished enough yet.
33. I can’t blame Camille for wanting to be allowed to die. Drugs, experimental treatments, no guarantees? That is ass-backwards. Chief's world will learn to withstand the loss.
34. Excellent! He let her go home! I have just fallen over and died of SHOCK that a doctor did not badger a patient until they consented to lengthy, painful, and expensive treatment just because of a belief that life, no matter the quality, is always better than anything else.
35. Just checking, but yep – I’m perfectly capable of laughing in Callie's face while she cries and her world comes crashing down. Why did I do this? Because I still fear that Izzie's big stupid bleeding heart will force her to walk away in the end, and then George will have nothing but a cold, distant wife. And everyone will be sad, except possibly the Gizzie haters.
36. Here’s the thing. Denny was the love of her life. We cannot get that back, so we must move forward! She can too find two soulmates in a year! And - wait, she took ADVANTAGE of him?! They were both so piss-ass drunk they didn't even remember it. And are you telling me Callie wasn't taking advantage of George when she married him, in that frame of mind?
37. I must point out: technically, George crawled into Izzie's bed.
38. Wait a minute, Callie was the one who got humiliated in the cafeteria? How? Izzie was the one who bounced around all over the place, pumping herself up for action and putting up her fists for a fight and looking like a complete idiot in the process for assuming that a dirty trailer park-type fight was going to take place. Callie just walked into the room, all cool and dignified, and was like “What the hell are all you stupid people doing here?” And anyway, it was the interns that spread the rumors, not Izzie herself.
39. Callie’s doing a pretty good job of embarrassing herself right now, though, with her stupid speech about how “YOU are the one who should be humiliated, YOU should be ashamed…”
40. "Traitorous bitch" is just the teensiest bit harsh, I think. And Izzie knows she’s not getting forgiveness from you, but if she didn’t apologize you’d just hold that against her, so she was kind of in a lose-lose situation.
41. Oh please, Alex – the “marriage” defense? That tired old thing?
42. Hee, Izzie, retaliate with an Ava barb! Point to Izzie.
43. Oh good God, that’s why we brought up Alex/Izzie in the previouslys? Because Alex is all hurt and insulted (mostly as a blow to his ego, I bet) that Izzie fell in love with George instead of him? A) she WASN’T ready that soon after Denny, and b) “Alex” is synonymous with “smug asshole,” and therefore really not the sort of guy that women fall romantically head-over-heels in love with.
44. George, acknowledging that something is unforgivable is what makes women want to forgive you, although it might take them a while.
45. Callie is crying in the rain. I find this perversely satisfying to watch.
46. CALLIE DIDN'T REALLY FORGIVE HIM! YEE-HAW!
47. So I’m watching this last Mer/Der scene, thinking that Derek is about to gently break up with her for because he can’t handle carrying on a physical relationship without an emotional one, and I’m prepared to not care because they’re both dirty skanks and I ceased caring about their relationship again 3 episodes ago. And then it’s like,
48. WHOA! MCDREAMY WHERE DID THAT COME FROM ALSO, I FULLY AND 100% SUPPORT YOUR PLAN TO GET MARRIED AND HAVE KIDS WITH MEREDITH. EVEN IF YOU BEGET THEM WITH 48-HOUR WEEKENDS OF SEX.
49. *FLAILS* AND BUILD THEM A HOUSE AND SETTLE DOWN AND GROW OLD TOGETHER AND DIE AT AGE 110 IN HER ARMS!
*swoons and faints due to sheer perfection of these visions* (although that last one was faintly unnerving)
50. And…there he goes with the emotional blackmail again. Sigh. I don’t even think he realizes he’s doing it anymore. He’s like, “Wait, what’s wrong with telling my girlfriend she has a time limit to accept and embrace my vision of our life together or the whole deal’s off? And in the meantime we can just continue to use each other for casual sex?”
51. *cocks head curiously* Does Lexie want those things in points 48 and 49? I will ship Other Grey/McDreamy in order to get those things. Or
52. Plus somehow, the end of McDreamy’s speech devolved into emphasizing his age and experience versus her lack of it, which reminded me that she looks 12, and then I go back to that whole creepy place where he looks like he could be her father and I get squicked by the visions that creates. It’s weird, I know they’re not that really that far apart in age, yet I can’t shake the feeling.
53. No! No, George, this is a very bad time to be knocking on Izzie’s door and – oh, it’s Alex. Wait, what the hell is ALEX doing here? Oh…lol, I forgot that Alex lives with them. Hee. I am silly. And I rescind some of my hatred because dropping the box of Kleenex on her bed and telling her to “pipe down” without a trace of meanness in his voice is as close to nice as Alex can get.
54. Next week: *squeals and comes flying down the hallway with outstretched arms* REBECCA REBECCA REBECCA! I’m going to get the kiss I wanted after all! Now I can die happy. Or at least, ignore all the freaky Shondaland festivities they’ve got planned for Halloween. I TOLD you not to encourage her after Meredith’s spirit guides…
Objectively, a double date with The Brothers Eppes can only be a good thing. That much prettiness in one room is nearly lethal. But I’m trying to imagine Liz and Amita talking to one another, and I can’t imagine what they would actually have in common for the duration of one date, much less a lifetime of get-togethers. Ergo, I have concluded that no matter how many tender scenes Don gets with her, Liz cannot be a permanent fixture in this family. Sorry Don. You could always go back to Robin.
I’m clinging to the fluffy bookends of this episode because most of the stuff in the middle was so incredibly gruesome and hardcore that I had to keep shielding my eyes in a manner I normally reserve for House and Grey’s Anatomy. But it was also incredibly gripping and suspenseful, one of those episodes where you don’t look at the clock because it seems to be going quickly, but at the same time it feels like there’s so much to take in that you’re watching 2 or 3 at once. Plus if you throw in some creepy, ritualized Christian mythology, I find it endlessly fascinating. There is a reason I couldn’t stop reading The Da Vinci Code even though I swore I’d never touch it and still refuse to pick up any other Dan Brown novels. Was it wrong of me to be fascinated by which method of torture & murder would come up next? (probably, but then again, I can’t remember the last time I paid this much attention to the crimes in one of my crime shows)
Personal things: I could have done without the religious studies professor (*sides with Charlie*), but there were a great number of other things to love, such as Action!Fedcakes, where Colby leaps over a railing and lands unharmed despite the fact that the resulting drop looked pretty damn far, and then David proves how badass he is by sliding down a ladder (I may have squealed with appreciation at that point), and Liz…runs down the stairs. Colby makes up for her lack of death-defying stuntage by later performing another vertical drop into a truck bed. Which he then promptly falls out of, to my never-ending amusement.
Oh, and Charlie got his hair cut back a little. Good-good.
As for Megan’s Super Sekrit Assignment…that was it? That was the whole explanation for the Foreboding Mystery of Doom and Gloom? I get that she’s messed up from applying her behavioral skills towards some less-than-savory “interrogation” techniques, but it seemed like a very brief climax after all that lead-up. Actually, I’m not going to argue because it provided me with a Caring Colby moment. He looks very wise during these moments. The novelty of Wise Colby hasn’t worn off yet, so I am still thrilled by its every instance. Best episode of season 4.
'Cold Case: Thick as Thieves
When I saw the preview for this episode, I was watching it mostly out of the corner of my eye, and I caught a glimpse of something that made me go “ASLDKJFASDF SCOTTY KISSING LILY WHAT IS THIS RIDICULOUSNESS.” To be fair, I don’t follow spoilers for this show, not even the official summaries, so all I know ahead of time is gleaned from previews. Anything could happen, and I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted it to. Nevertheless, I wisely refrained from posting anything about it until I could find more information, and of course there was none to be found, so I started figuring I’d mistaken a flashback for a shot of the present team.
Oh no, I was right – well, half-right. It was Scotty, but he happened to be kissing the bitchy agent from last season. *scrubs brain* BLECH. That must have been the tackiest, most unbelievable and yet cliché hookup in the history of crime shows. “I hate you.” “I hate you more!” “I REALLY hate you – oh, my mistake, I really want to make out with you. Clear the desk!” I honestly felt no sexual tension between them at all; I figured this was where things were going when he showed up in her doorway at night flinging accusations, but it felt completely forced and fake, like “well, obviously we’re supposed to do this thing, so let’s just get it over with.” I know what they were trying to do with the love/hate angle, but only the hate angle ever came across to me, so this was just weird. Please never do that again.
The case itself was suitably gripping and horrifying, once it picked up the con artist angle out of the slow start, and despite the fact that I was reeling on 1 hour of sleep (at my desk) out of the last 32, I watched in rapt attention – first time all season that’s happened. But as I am flying ahead of the homework fireball right now, that’s all the more I have to say.
And now it is time to go work on not being eaten alive by a giant flaming ball of homework.