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State of the Networks: Fall Preview

In which I list, in order of how much I'm looking forward to them, my hopes, fears, and expectations for the coming seasons of all the shows on my watchlist.   Probably spoilers ahoy.  Excellently long.


CSI Miami
Excited for Yelina, powerful Horatio angst, the Raymonds senior AND junior (even if they have new actors), a slightly vigilante Horatio vs. Riaz, hopefully some bonding between Horatio & Eric over that, and a good music recommendation...and that's just in the first episode.  After that, we get to look forward to Calleigh being in a car accident (what do you want to bet that NONE of the shippers get any kind of payoff, though?) and the return of Daddy DuQuesne.  Oh, and another arch-nemeisis villian for Horatio.  Those are always fun. Yes they are.

As for the remainder of the season, I am hoping for - although none of this has been confirmed and is largely drawn from dropped spoilers for season 4 - I am hoping to see Evil Stetler come back, and maybe Madison, and I'm 100% sure we will, with a painful degree of slowness advanced mainly during sweeps, begin unpeeling a little more about that murder in Horatio's past.  The angst!  Oh my God!  I'm not sure I can take another full year of the season-long plot arc...

Otherwise, the only real things detracting from this season are a) Natalia being a CSI, and b) something about Ryan getting involved with an informant.  Then there are other things I'm suddenly remembering, about both Calleigh and Delko having new love interests (not each other),  and holy crap, last year's "Sparks A-Flyin'" moniker just opened up a can of worms, didn't it??

NCIS
The first thing I can think of about this show is that Gibbs has gotten all scruffy thanks to his retirement in Mexico, namely kind of bit-too-long hair (YAY!!) and a thick mustache (THE HORROR!  WORSE THAN NICK'S PORN STACHE!)  The second negative thing I can think about this show is something about a new agent being brought in.  Okay.  For the record?  Ziva is the only outside agent in this whole series that I haven't hated.  I hated Paula Cassidy, I hated that perky blonde, I just hated everyone.  I don't want new characters, thanks.

My mood, thanks to spoilers, is down about as far as it was for CSI last year (which proved grim).  I have high hopes, though, certain it cannot completely eradicate all the squeeful Gibbs/Abby interaction, the headsmacks, and the beauty mixed with quirkiness that is Ziva over the course of the summer.  Can it?

Nobody officially recaps this show, but sometimes I do it for my own amusement.  I wrote five or six for last season in varying stages of completion, and I may post them at some point in the future.

CSI
As I was saying, spoilers are, on the whole, up a great big plus from last year.
POSITIVE: Greg gets beat up in episode 4 (*evil grin* Yes beat the sweet one up!  Leave him broken and emotionally tormented!  We will nurse him back to health!).  I also want to see GSR from a new perspective.  And then there's a fun episode that deals with crucifixion and a priest/nun relationship.  The priest is an older man, who claims he spent his whole life devoted to the church but now feels an urge to be a husband, a father, and naturally Gibby and Mystery at YTDAW have already begun to dissect that in a Grissom context.  Good girls.

NEGATIVE
The third episode (which traditionally sucks, now that I think about it) seems...a wee bit stupid, with talking corpses and shifting points of view, but I also think there's supposed to be yet another reference to Grissom being the only smart one "for being a single guy" (*smirk*).  That's good. But there's also that niggling little matter of how this might be William Petersen's last year on the show.  Booo.

However, I think the premiere is going to be really fun.  Cirque du Soleil, people.  CIRQUE DU SOLEIL.  Cath family drama...can we kill someone, please?  It's been a really long time since someone important on this show died, hasn't it?  Yes, I do have a name in mind.  Anyway, I'm not too excited for John Mayer, but whatever.  Mostly I just don't want to hear things about Nick and Cath going to the dance floor together, even if it's totally innocent, because there's this whole creepy faction of Cath/Nick shippers that jumped out of the woodwork, and honestly, I would think Nicky's childhood trauma would preclude him from being attracted to older women?

It bothers me most because way back when CSI was just a script, they toyed with the idea of those two being in an illicit affair, but ultimately dropped that idea because it was stupid.  Okay.  That's out of my system now.

NUMB3RS
I give full credit to the recapping gals of Fandomtalk.com for making me completely and utterly love these show.  With their HILARIOUS captioned screenshots spicing up every inch of their recaps, it's like two episodes for the price of one.  Plus the extras.  (Thermodynamics of Don's Pants!  HAH!)  Not that I don't love Charlie's curls and the lovely Amita in their own right, but for a while I was kind of bored with Don and the FBI team.  Now, of course, all I see are the hot occupants ofthe International House of Fedcakes, and even Don and Colby are becoming beloved characters.  Same for Alan - he used to really annoy me, now I just giggle about the ongoing Eppes House War.  God, I can't wait for recaps to begin.  :p

GREY'S ANATOMY
Dear ABC.com: Please please please please please continue next-day free streaming of episodes?

As you may recall, I wasn't real thrilled with the direction this was headed in the spring.  I finally learned to love Addison just as McDreamy regained the hots for Meredith.  FYI, I hate McSteamy.  And I like Finn, who will probably not get to stay on this show.

Except for I'm hearing rumors that Izzie might quit and start...vet medicine.  That would be AWESOME.  No, shh, it's only a rumor silly and probably not true, but it would make me happy.  Otherwise, even though Derek and Meredith and George and Alex and Izzie and Callie are all boring and annoying people, I cannot wait to embrace Burke and Cristina and the Bailey sass once more.  And also, this is the year of the Addison Love.  Plus medicine.  Remember medicine?  Yeah.  That'll make for fun watching. 

And if I don't get my free streaming, then at least I'll have 2 sites to recap it for me.  I look forward to recaps too, you know.  They've been doing classic recaps all summer, and it's kind of gearing me up for the new season, so I hope I can watch.  Plus I am sick of listening to everyone on both sides bitch and moan, but officially "not be worried at all" about the new competition, and I can't wait for some ratings to roll in so one side will shut up.

CSI: NY
I've said it before, but I'll say it again: the characters just gained tremendous amounts of personality at the end of last year.  This is mostly evidenced by the fact that the season opens on Mac, in bed, shirtless.  With a woman.  Yeah, exactly like it sounds.  OMGWTF HOW DID GREY'S ANATOMY GET ON CBS?   (well, except it won't show anything dirty.  It'll probably be the early morning, last like 10 seconds and only serve to show Mac getting called to a crime scene)

I cannot yet decide if I'm excited by this unconventional step forward - or really squicked out.  Because, Mac's just not that hot.  He's not BAD looking, but he's no Horatio (yes, I'm aware that he's not really that hot either, but my perception is colored), and even a GSR bed scene would be more meaningful.

I'm excited to see more of Stella, to see more Danny/Lindsey flirting, to see Flack back on his feet.  I know lots of stuff about the upcoming season.  It's like the NY crew can't push enough spoilers out there fast enough.  Some days I literally have to step back and take a breather between reading bits of info.

I am *not* excited to see the random woman from Mac's bed turning into a returning character, a/k/a a new coroner...wait, hell yes I am!  Oh my God, new coroner might mean NO MORE CREEPY SID HAMMERBACK! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!  [a/n: except Hill Harper just totally dashed my hopes on that after I read his newest interview.  Gr.]

I'm just looking forward to more New York crime scenes.  I'm not, however, looking into finding out Lindsey's dark backstory, because they keep hinting she has one, and I don't want to believe it.  I want Lindsey to be normal.  She doesn't have to be perky and sunshine-chipper like Calleigh, but her character is so much lighter than Aiden was, and is so much more easy-going than Sara, that I don't want to find out about a blood-and-gore memory in Montana.  I don't expect her to be totally innocent, but still she's a breath of fresh air and I wish she could stay that way.  I like her far more than I ever expected to.

HOUSE
I don't like the people on this show, and the medicine is often too gross for my delicate stomach, yet somehow it's addictive like Vicodin.  Also, Wilson is cute and I watch in eternal hope that he'll have a big role that day. But mostly, I look forward to the recaps.  Sara M usually does the recaps for this show on TWoP, and she is one of my very favorite recappers EVER.

LOST
I'm displeased with a lot of things on this show. Remind me never to touch anything created by J.J. Abrams again.
I hate how they pick new directions for the plot every year, and subsequently insist upon a whole bunch of new characters to introduce.  Libby was the only one of last year's I could halfway stand, and I still didn't really like her.  I wish they'd stayed with the original plot.  I did not see enough polar bears or inviso-monster to make me happy, and I wanted more of Rousseau's involvement on the island/her backstory.

I am looking forward to seeing how Charlie and Claire get on, and would be more excited about the possibility of Sawyer/Kate but you see, Leah Kate's excellent stories "In Hiding" and "On the Road" have pretty much set me up with enough Skate footage to last me the rest of my life, regardless of what the show does, so it's no longer a pressing need.  And I do NOT give a flying flip about contact with the outside world.  Stupid Penelope!  (doesn't help that she was Charlie's trampy British ex-girlfriend on numb3rs)

However, I do want to see Sayid.  So, let's get back.  Maybe The Others will be interesting this year.

Law & Order: SVU
You know, I've been watching this on USA all summer and still almost never seen a repeat?  It's frickin' awesome.  Even so, I'm curious about the evolution (or deterioration) of the relationship between Benson and Stabler. Plus I just like these crimes.  Cases still outstrip characters on this show, and I'll take that increasingly rare feature anywhere I can get it, as long as I can.

SURVIVOR
I'm really looking forward to this.  It's pure, unadulterated amusement, watching people backstab each other first for rice and later money in a tropical setting.  Recaps are fun too.  What can I say!  And if the people totally suck, I can always try out the Brad Garret comedy, or Ugly Betty.  I'm really kind of interested in Ugly Betty, because it's like Devil Wears Prada, only more over-the-top and with America Ferrara instead of Anne Hathaway.  Double praise for that last part.

The O.C.
This show is going to get AMAZINGLY BAD.  It's not coming back until November, and already the spoilers alone have me snorting wildly.  It's like...a parody of itself.  And that's precisely why I will watch.

I mean, I have LONG since given up hope that any characters on this show are still redeemable.  I hold out the highest hope for Summer, safe in Boston after that shell-shock, but then that strands her with Taylor, which is frightening.  Julie will be stupid as ever, Ryan will continue trying his damndest to completely ruin his future, Seth is going to turn into AN EVEN HUGER, MORE MORONIC IDIOT (morals-wise), and and then - oh, ugh, I don't even want to think about it - there's the part where we go back to high school with Kaitlyn and her crowd.  I hate Kaitlyn.

I mean, if not for that, I would really be looking forward to making fun of it.  After I finished having my go at it, I would turn to Sara M for her recaps, which are even better on OC than they are in House.  Seriously.  I print her recaps and read them multiple times over.

But I am not excited about the prospect of the Dumb Kid crowd.  Well, that's okay, I probably won't ever get to watch it, unless CSI starts free-streaming episodes too?  God knows you can't get the O.C. *anywhere*.  It's not on iTunes (not that I'd pay, but).  You can't even watch it in RERUNS, because Fox doesn't show such unprofitable things, unless they're called "House" or "24" or "Prison Break."

COLD CASE
Usually not too exciting, but it's consistently B-quality (as opposed to shows which run the gamut from A to D), and they're familiar characters.  My favorite is [Kat Miller, as my lone subscriber has informed me.  Wow, really, that's her name?  I'd never have guessed.  Excellent, then.] Anyway, nothing in it inherently makes me want to spit and scream obscenities.  Not like...

WITHOUT A TRACE
Jack, Jack, Jack.  Heroic, pompous, self-righteous Jack Malone.  Divorced, two kids - one daughter who still idolizes him, and one who spits at him with contempt.  Totally deserves 2 out 3, for cheating on his wife with Sam.  Especially because we were all forced to witness that.  It was worse than watching Sam and Martin do it.

But it was not as bad as Jack and Anne, as merely seeing her on screen grosses me out.  And now Jack and Anne are apartment-hunting.  And Annie might have a little baby!  GROSS.

And that supremely annoying agent "Elena" is still on the show.

And God forbid they should investigate an interesting case.  You know what I miss?  I miss the hunt for kids.  Especially the hunt for teenage girls.  Those were always, always my favorites.  (remember that one with Amber Tamblyn?  Whose acting was the sole reason I decided to start watching Joan of Arcadia when it came out?)

ER
But hey - as bad as that is, ER is worse.  Let me, once again, remind you of how many people on this show do *not* suck:

1. Neela
2. Luka
3. Abby
4. Sam

That's it! Four!  Everyone else makes me want to gouge their eyes out with a rusty nail!   Well, maybe not John Stamos' character, because he's a nice looking man, but I don't think I've ever seen an episode with him in it.  And I have a feeling that the Luby Love is going to blow up (again) at some point.  Because that's just how they operate.  And then I might have to hate them both.

The creepy vibes of the Ray/Neela dynamic creep me out.  I may have to hate her, too.  So you see?  No one is safe!  Sometimes, they still actually save lives on this show with impressive heroic emergency room flair.  That's why I started watching this show, that's why I relish any day I can curl up with classic reruns on TNT, and vain hope of it keeps me coming back when nothing else is on.  As it will be all next year.

OTHERS, IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

TWO AND A HALF MEN
Eventually, we come up with comedies.  I'm actually kind of looking forward to this one, mostly because I love the character of Candy, and the woman Charlie almost married reminds me of Alana de la Garza, and...okay.  This show just makes me laugh.  Even though reruns will go all summer and it's not like I have a pressing need to know what happens right away, I still like to zone out on Monday nights, calm my blood pressure before CSI Miami whips it into a frenzy.

NEW ADVENTURES OF OLD CHRISTINE
I think of the 8:00 hour as Guys Vs. Girls.  First you have the undeniably guys' comedy.  It's even in the title.  And then you have the one about the single mom and all HER adventures dating.  Come on, the parallell is awesome.  The gal's half is a little tamer and less edgy (less funny), but still sweet.  It's like switching from NBC to the WB. (RIP)

HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER
I still can't think of anything I especially like about this show?  (besides Alyson Hannigan)  But for some reason, it intrigues me.  Must be that "smart writing" thing all the critics talk about.  I dunno, it's just funny.

THE CLASS
I don't know, I have no opinion.  It's just in a convenient location

LAW AND ORDER
Alana's hair is bobbed now.  Bobbed.  I no longer want to watch this show.  Also, now that I think about it, I suspect her character will be sharp-tongued and bitchy, as all states attorneys are required to be, and that will ruin my happy memories of Marisol.  Sigh.

CROSSING JORDAN
The only reason I'm not super-excited for this show to return is that I've only seen it in reruns, and I've only seen probably 20 or 25 episodes in reruns.  I catch them on random stations at random times, so I have NO sense of chronology andhave no idea what's happening in present times.

TILL DEATH
I probably won't get a chance to watch this...but gosh darn it I want to!  Brad Garrett = teehee!

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