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Wednesday/The Office/CSI reviews

I don't know want to anything about the writer's strike, it's not happening, I hate writers, lalalalala fingers in my ears I am not listening.

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Private Practice: In Which Charlotte Goes Down the Rabbit Hole
I am so tired of Charlotte King. I can't figure out why they included her in the first place; there is no point to her character.  She has nothing to do with the co-op.  It would be one thing if she was an occasionally recurring character, because I see the need for them to occasionally go to the real hospital and have a name contact, but EVERY SINGLE EPISODE?  That's just annoying.  And her snippy and businesslike exterior irritates the hell out of me.  Am I supposed to feel sorry for her because she grew up in a home without affection?  Honestly, now I'm just more irritated with her than ever.  As for her mysterious problem with pills, I'm calling it as attempted suicide by overdose.  I swear that really was my first thought, and not just my need to be contrary to the rest of the world, who thinks it implies a past drug addiction.  

And the rest...comes in random spits and spats, which should be in bullet points except that LJ is currently refusing to allow me to use bullet points within pasted-from-Notepad entries.

Why was Naomi's date picking her up at Addison's house, exactly?  It's one thing to not want potentially creepy men to know where you live, but it's another to divert them to your best friend's address. 

Dell's crush is getting more and more creepy.  It IS a crush, and I wish he would just keep it to himself rather than making everyone uncomfortable by acting like it might be a valid pursuit.  I mean, I can certainly understand doing everything "for her," making her happy being motivation to do your job well, but you don’t tell her that.  

"What you want is a husband and kids."  THANKS, SHOW, BECAUSE I DON'T MISS DEREK/ADDISON ENOUGH.  She *had* a husband.  Who, according to his latest speech, wants kids.  MY HEART IS HURTING HERE.

Wait a minute, didn't Violet's Clinton-fantasy include kids running around?  How does that match up with the fact that she doesn't want children?  Oh well.  My dreams of Violet/Cooper babies are now out of control, because this scenario would be fantastic.  Any time their kids had a problem or got hurt or anything, really, she'd start freaking out that she wasn't a good mother, and he'd have to talk her down and convince her that she was, in fact, a very loving mom, and GAH.  THIS SCENARIO IS TOO GREAT.  As was the scene, even though I'm not sure Cooper could have been any more transparent about his feelings right there. 

As far as Tess, the girl with the mysterious injuries, I was on Sam's side the whole time, and when even he gave in I switched to Tess's.  I SO did not want the mom to be an abuser; one of my greatest pet peeves - as nurtured by television - is busybody doctors who call social workers over any little thing (especially that law of "when you first suspect" - no one documents your thoughts, Cooper!  Just pretend you didn't suspect!).  Now, if I were Tess, I would have invented myself an abusive boyfriend to get the doctor off my back.  She could have used the same argument she ultimately used, something about how he just got so mad sometimes that he needed to vent his anger, and it was okay because he loved her and always apologized profusely.  The most Cooper could have done then was call the school and see about getting someone to keep an eye out for this abusive boy.  Problem solved!  Life goes on as usual.

But since Tess was silly enough to trust that her doctor would understand the truth if she explained it really well, she got torn away from her mom.  This annoys me a great deal, because occasional violence or not (yeah, yeah, broken wrist, but was Tess complaining?  Nope), they clearly loved one another, and I cannot think of anything worse than being taken away from my mother.  Especially at that age.  Unless it's also being taken away from my home.  Way to go, Oceanside.  Way to go.  Again, if I were Tess, I'd start acting out immediately.  Cutting, drinking, refusing to talk to people, things like that.

"You're drunk, and you're flirty."  Washington Addie would have pushed him against the doorframe and started dry-humping him.  California Addie tells him to "go away."  I love California Addison.  With that in mind, here were my exact, spoken-out-loud words when she kissed him at the end: "WHAT THE HELL?!  Oh my God!  Stop that!"  Miracle of all miracles...she walked away.  Oh yes, I love California Addison.  I refuse to accept that a relationship with Pete is still pending.  I'm just going to drop this letter on her desk that reminds her sex =/= proof of love!!   Because I fear he may use some pretty and charming and Serious words in the next couple of months that convince her of the depth of his emotions, or at least the potential depth, and she sleep with him on an unspoken promise and things will turn out badly.

The song at the end, Matt Nathanson's "All We Are"?  Used for the end of NCIS about four weeks ago, "Family."  I didn't like it then, but now - although in retrospect I preferred its placement in NCIS - I'm hooked on it.  Sigh.

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CSI: NY: Boo
Reason #1 why spoilers are good: I made a special point of watching "The Amityville Horror" this summer so I would understand the context for this episode.  I maintain that it was helpful. 

Reason #2 why spoilers are good: I could have been anticipating a D/L forehead kiss in this episode!  I say "could have" because I stopped hunting spoilers this season for lack of time, and only found out about this one because someone's anger over being spoiled about 4x13 spurred my curiosity to go find out, and this happened to be included in the mention.  No, that one didn't come to fruition, but if I hadn't gone looking for spoilers I wouldn't have had the possibility in my head at all, and that would be sad.  

Apparently my growing Lindsay hate was really just pent-up frustration that she spent what little screen time she had in the lab.  Out in the field  - and working a case with Danny, no less - I fell in love with her all over again.  And that was before sugah66 clued me in to the barely-audible bit where he calms her down with "Lindsay, honey, forget about this guy..."  Um, SQUEEEEEEEEE!!

Really, squee fest aside, the Amityville case - which I'm very happy they explained was "similar" to the famous case, rather than just taking a famous story and adapting it into the script like it's happening for the first time - was a wonderful blend of paranormal spooky (how can you not be spooky with multiple murders in an old house like that, and a mysterious old woman dashing through the halls?) and the horror that comes with realizing what people are capable of.  Biggest thing on my spooky list, other than the bullet hole in the wall oozing blood?  THE ATTIC WITH THE CREEPY DOLL.  Oh my God that thing was frightening.  Other than that, the attic is my favorite set ever created and I really just want to wander around in it and explore all the stuff.  I love attics full of old stuff, even when they're artificial.

I don't understand the camcorder, the video communicators (how much did THOSE cost and what's wrong with just a cell phone that connects to the internet?) or the step plates, though.  Especially the step plates.  They can't possibly move around to document the crime scene accurately if they're worried about balancing on stepping stones the entire time, and as soon as they found the little girl, I'm pretty sure they didn't give a damn about whether they walked on the floor or not as they ran back out (speaking of which, I had no idea that Danny could be so adorable and reassuring with kids, especially girls.  WOW.  And at the hospital later, with Lindsay bringing a stuffed dog - *heart explodes from teh cute* 

Random Thing I Learned: There's a breed of dog that I don't know about!  How did this happen??  Though I have to say, the Tibetan Kyi-Ahpso looks more like the Tibetan version of a Designer Mix, rather than an ancient and super-rare breed.

The story of what actually happened - both the original suicide and the current murders - was incredibly sad.  And the girl's skeletal body stuffed into a suitcase may be the creepiest part of this entire episode.  My one niggling point of complaint is how they managed to catch the family's murderer red-handed, by tracking the GPS chip in a dog collar...actually, four dog collars all grouped together.  Why wouldn't the guy have dropped the dogs off at the pound first?  Or even just let them go?  I mean, if you want to be inconspicuous, a truck full of barking dogs is not the best way to avoid attracting attention.  Plus, if I were to take a wild guess, I'd say that GPS collars are not the most common thing in the world, and even they are in New York, what are the chances that FOUR dogs would be wearing them, AND all happen to get lost - and rounded up - together?   (on an unrelated note, why do people with shady backgrounds always seem to end up working for animal control, anyway?  I don't want people like that around defenseless dogs and cats!)

Point(s) of complaint aside, the case was incredibly strong, and it could have carried the episode alone, if not for the fact that I liked that they got to work it on their own.  However, Mac & Stella's case, which started out somewhat slow and uninteresting, took a sharp upswing with the visit to the voodoo shop.  I was suitably freaked out by the 333/666 painted on her eyelids, especially in conjunction with the creepy lady and her tarot cards, and think that Mac's reaction, while slightly paranoid, was understandable.  It gave me chills, along with the faint feeling that the episode had just brushed up against some of Stellaluna's older fics like Necropolis and Zero Hour.  Very nice.  (Josephine Delacroix is my favorite guest character ever)  And the whole story of how he actually came to be "undead" was pretty fascinating.

Best episode of the season?  I think so.
P.S. I have a confession to make: I kind of don't hate the remixed credits anymore.  *punches self*  

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The Office: Branch Wars
Note: Please tell me if I said "Steve" at any point where I mean "Michael."  I've corrected two instances of it so far.  That's how deep my dislike of Steve Carell runs. 

The more I watch this show in my room, the more I realize that my roommate and I are very, very different Office fans.  She frequently laughs out loud at Michael & Dwight's ridiculous lines, whereas I am more likely to turn back to the computer and start typing about something else the minute Michael gets a TH.  Then when Jim and Pam are onscreen, I'm perfectly still and alert so as not to miss one whispered word, and she's out in the kitchen getting a drink.  Fandom Fan meets Casual Viewer, I guess. 

Finer Things Club: Ah-hah, WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PAM & TOBY & LITERARY CONVERSATIONS OVER COFFEE??  Okay, so the coffee turned into gourmet food, and I didn't plan for it to take place in the break room and I really didn't expect Oscar to be present because I don't do OT3s and if I did, it would obviously include Jim, but PAM & TOBY ARE DISCUSSING LITERATURE and it is the most vindicating thing ever.  Or at least it was until she invited Jim to join.  You realize that this just broke Toby's heart, right?  That was his last refuge from the PB&J flirting.  I think it's pretty obvious that FTC day is to him what Pretzel Day is to Stanley.

I don't understand why everyone is crying foul about the club, though.  Have you SEEN the people she works with?  As mentioned, Jim dominates the conversation with humor.  Angela would get upset and judgmental about any and all instances of sex, Kelly would just repeat things from Spark Notes, you saw how obnoxious Andy was, Phyllis would be...well actually, they'd probably let Phyllis in if she asked, even though I imagine she would be shy and apologize a lot for not "getting" things.  Stanley wouldn't be interested, Kevin would just come for the food and hog most of it, and do you even WANT to think about trying to include Michael Scott in a serious literary discussion?  "Wait, so the artist guy was supposed to be GAY?  Wow.  I did not...not even pick up on that at all.  I didn't even know they had gay people back then.  Well, that just makes it really silly that one time Ryan told me his name wasn't Dorian Gray!  I wonder if knows that.  I should call him."

The fact is that Pam, Oscar and Toby *are* more cultured and literary than their coworkers, and it makes sense for them to have this thing together.  Honestly, the way she calls it "very exclusive" seems more like a joke.  This is hard to articulate, but the way I see it, it's not really so much about being a club as it is the three of them together.  Obviously, there's a purpose to the three of them meeting, but...ooh, I know.  It's like the Baby Sitters Club.  Kristi didn't put flyers up all over the school recruiting members; she and her friends got together to create something out of their common interest.  Wow, I bet nobody has ever linked BSC with TO before.

However, I don't think I like the idea of Jim being in it, even before he showed up with his Irish accent and his obvious slackerdom (I hate when people try to wing it).  They're not joined at the hip and she should be able to have something that's hers alone.  Besides, while Jim is clearly quite smart, it's not in the applied way that Pam is.  I imagine he got a fair number of A's in school, but I doubt he tried very hard for them.  Not like the FTC members, who were doing such a realistic impression of a discussion in a college literature course that I was almost scared. I mean, that was STRAIGHT out of one of my classes, complete with the pauses and "I thought"s around sophisticated vocabulary and serious literary analysis.  I have to skip it in subsequent rewatches because I feel like I'm going to get called on any second.

Utica Trip: The first third of the ep dragged, but once they were on the road every single second was as good as I expected OR GREATER.  Michael was out of sight, getting absolutely no scenes to himself and Dwight had similarly minimal screen time, though I kind of loved their glee as they spring their surprise on the totally unsuspecting Jim (much as I hate to admit it, their sales-call ruse was kind of brilliant.  The expression on his face when the realization hits is indescribable. 

This episode was over an hour late to NBC.com, which I found highly frustrating as I was fast losing focus on my paper and needed to see the episode again.  Picture me at 5 AM, throwing pencils at the computer screen.  "I wanna see more of Angry Jim!  I want Angry Jim!"  I can't remember when we've seen him as frustrated as when they got rid of his phone.  It's kinda hot.   

I really loved the Karen confrontation, especially the immediacy with which he denied that he wanted to see her.  I have no doubt that people will be outraged by his behavior in this scene (edit: yep), but my infatuation stands and Jim can do no wrong.  Besides, I think I've mentioned this about half a dozen times, but I cannot feel any more sympathy for Karen than I did for Katy.  There's one woman for Jim.  Anyone and everyone else is a waste of time. 

Poor, poor Jim - I don't think he's ever had to spend such a large chunk of his day in actual, desperate fear that Micahel & Dwight would cross the line and break the law and/or cause bodily harm to someone.  It's like, there's pranking and then there's HURTING PEOPLE.  There was just a little bit of desperation in his repeated attempts to convince them not to set off actual bombs.  And to top it all off, the idiot camera crew doesn't even try to hide when he tells them to.  Hmm...other than possibly Booze Cruise and the aftermath of Casino Night, I think it's safe to say that this was Jim's Worst Day Ever.  I couldn't believe how bad it got, so I made a visual representation of his day going downhill.

  • Has to travel with Michael and Dwight
    • Finds out they're going to pay a not-so-nice visit to his ex-girlfriend, who already kind of hates him.
      • Phone gets thrown out the window
        • Michael speculates on his sex life
        • Has to deal with Dwight peeing (and possibly spraying) in the car
          • Nearly gets into a car accident thanks to Michael's crazed steering
            • Has to prevent Dwight from making real bombs
              • Discovers they've been driving around with flammable material in the trunk
                • Has to stop Dwight from attacking anyone's eyes
                • Has to do this TWICE
                  • Idiot camera guy all but invites Karen to come talk to him
                  • While he is wearing a giant and very stupid-looking fake mustache
                    • Has to endure a lecture from Karen with his idiot colleagues
                      • Has to endure a 1-on-1 discussion with Karen
                        • During which he pisses her off, repeatedly,
                          • leading to the most pathetic exit ever. 

The day is officially made of Fail.  He seemed to bounce back from it remarkably quickly, though.  I expected him to come back just shaking his head in disgust, but no, same old goofy expressions. 

Other Thoughts
Pam + purple top + butterfly necklace = prettiest outfit possible

Dwight bouncing around like a monkey in the backseat of the car was just a little bit disturbing.  And also begging to be an animated icon suitable for such captions as "dance party!", "go crazy!" and "air drumset!"

Although I usually can't stand Michael's Toby-hate, no matter how many times I watch it (current count: 11), I still burst out laughing every time he bumps into Toby clutching teacups and wearing a bow tie.  "Oh.  My.  God."  Seriously, I start cracking up just remembering that.  His abject horror is priceless.

There are certain images that I do not need in my head.  "Climb on top of Karen" is one of them.
Voice: Did you mean to add "and think about Stanley" in that quote?
RS: Nope.

"Do you really wanna know??"
"Oh God."  Jim knows his boss's capacity for insanity so well.  

"Dwight!  Nothing with the eyes. Please?"  I now know exactly what exasperated!father!Jim would will sound like while he and Pam are on vacation with their kids.  Words cannot express how happy I am with this aural aid for my daydreams.

I like to think that the reason we didn't get any footage from the drive back is because Jim warned the camera guy he'd make use of Dwight's bomb material if he saw him within throwing distance.

Overall, I've seen this episode...um, about 8 times the whole way through.  Yes, really.  Obviously "Money" contains some of the greatest moments ever, but it's only worth watching those great moments.  "Branch Wars" as a whole was a far more cohesive and entertaining piece of work.  As you may have been able to tell from the length of this review.   


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CSI: Chick Chop...Tongue Twister
After The Office, I debated whether I should watch "Scrubs" or whether I was really desperate to find out what happened on CSI.  Since I am stubbornly willing JD's newborn kid out of existence, I chose the latter, on the theory that Sara's got about three episodes left and therefore they would be making the most of her screen time.  

HAH!  HAH!  HAH!  Why would they do such a silly and logical thing like that when they've got Ronnie and her ample, better-than-Catherine cleavage to fill the camera?  My loathing for her knows no bounds.  I did eventually go back and watch the first half, but even so, I was so incredibly bored throughout this episode (except for the parts where I was twitching with hatred at the incessant SCREAMING) that I thought I'd taken a wrong turn and fallen into season 6.  I don't think I actually watched more than about ten minutes of footage...is this what it's going to be like when Sara leaves for good?  Because that would suck.  Only four redeeming bits in this ep:

1) The (non) reaction of Brass when Zac dropped trou for him.
2) Catherine bursting out in laughter at the idea of the PotC mini-pirate trying to hit on her.  As proven in "Loco Motives," her giggling is adorable.  Also, her shirt was awesome; white with a green pattern around the neckline.
3) SARA/GREG SCENE!  *hugs it*  They are love.  Really.  Even though I was tempoarily knocked unconscious by the heavy anvil of FORESHADOWING. And not fake foreshadowing like they were doing with Nicky last year.  Poor team, everyone's suffering burnout...but Sara's going to be the first one to let it consume her.  Hey, didn't Grissom warn her about that in season 1?      
4) Wendy's horror movie past, and the lab rats all gathered 'round to watch it.  The lab rats need a random fun scene in every episode.  They crack me up.    

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The clock turns back an hour tonight.  YAY!

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
proudofthefish
Nov. 4th, 2007 02:57 pm (UTC)
Was it you I told that the dislike of lindsay had to do with screen time? I also think I saw an off the screen hand grab.

cheers
rainbowstevie
Nov. 4th, 2007 03:55 pm (UTC)
Yep, that was me. You were clearly proven right. :D

I thought I saw the hand grab too, but I figured my brain was trying to trick me. Good to know I'm not alone.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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