U.S. Lit was great today, as the prof declared that in lieu of our usual lecture, we would be spending the hour composing a poem either in response to one of the readings we've done recently, or by writing about America/American history in the style of one of the poets we've covered, like Walt Whitman. Not graded, just...take the hour to come up with something creative and turn it in at the end. (Student in back: "You just want something to laugh about after class, don't you?") Even though I'm pretty sure I went wildly off track and lost sight of the objective while playing with word art, it was nice to get to write something in a style I'm comfortable in, as opposed to the theory-heavy papers.
Anyway, back to TV. 'm not tired! I got 70 whole minutes of sleep today between bus rides and curling up at my desk! ...is it Friday yet?
'CSI: NY, 4x07, "Commuted Sentences"
Case-wise, this episode was spectacularly dull, and it was further hampered by a ridiculous number of montages - I counted 4 in the first act alone. (I think I've figured out how NY plans to survive the writer's strike). To make matters even worse, Kendall was lounging around cluttering up my screen again - that whole sucking-on-chocolate thing, not to mention Adam's reaction to it, was revolting.
HOWEVER. Then the writers threw me for a loop by pitching gem after gem into the ring. It was like they were trying to distract me from the pending strike with shiny objects - "Here, have Angell! And some D/L! And more D/L! And Flack! Oh hey, what about Flack/Angell?" And you know what, it worked.
1. DETECTIVE ANGELL!!!!! *tackle hugs* She's gorgeous and clever and generally rather awesome. All she has to do is show up to a scene, and I start grinning madly. Or in other words - I'm as happy to see her as I am to see Flack.
2. Lindsay got out of the lab! AND got to work with Danny, for the second week running! AND we even got to see them in the mythical shared office of season 2. I figured that was the extent of my prize for the week, but suddenly there was flirty banter and close contact and I went into a trance from the sudden D/L sugar rush, but not before my brain managed to latch onto the following exchange:
Lindsay: Definitely could have gone right through the love handles. *poke*
Danny: (batting hands away) That's too low, wise-ass.
--For whatever reason, that line cracks me up.
(standing behind and trying to position her in the stance of the victim)
"Would you stop fighting me?" Twenty types of adorable, they are.
3. After recovering from my trance, I was greeted with still more playful D/L banter, including a home state reference and a glimpse of her childhood self ("Did you used to shoot pebbles at squirrels back in Montana?" "No. I used to shoot boys."), all around the excellently tomboy activity of improvising & wielding a slingshot. Complete with Danny whining about not getting to play. ("Can't believe you're not gonna let me shoot it." "We'd be here all day.")
Ooh, plus him calling her "Dennis the Menace." Not quite the same ring as "Montana," but under the circumstances, just as good.
4. Flack was, um, pretty much fantastic throughout the episode. I'm usually reduced to just staring dazedly at the screen whenever he's on it, unless of course there's something extra fantastic, such as...
5. FLACK/ANGELL OTP. I can't remember if they've ever shared screentime before, but I do know it's always been one of my fondest wishes, because the pretty just explodes off the screen. Honestly, I was happy that they were simply talking to one another - oh, and busy soaking up background info on Angell's family, squee! - and suddenly THERE WAS FLIRTING! Kind of. Sort of awkward and unintentional, but the sparks were flying, and Flack was so blushing. I choose to take this as a sign that Devon is already a receding memory.
[As soon as I can get my hands on this episode, I will have their exchange quoted here in full, because I loved every second and OMG CHEMISTRY YAY, but there was just so much to love that I couldn't keep it all straight.]
Cue amusingly sarcastic murderess getting in the car to thumb her nose at their detailing efforts, and Flack's look after she leaves. "That woman pisses me off." We concur. (oh wait, I didn't...I'm afraid she successfully appealed to my emotions rather than logic, and I came out feeling like I didn't much care that a smug rapist was dead)
Overall: This was what I like to refer to as a "Clip Show" episode. That is, due to its good bits I'm forced to rank it higher than, say, the season premiere, but ideally, I would just collect said good bits on a tape or a YouTube video and never actually watch the episode in full again.
I may have actually nicked this from its original source, cah215. Fun stuff happens when you randomly browse the members of communities you belong to.
**A "kid" is anyone from 0-12 years old.
1. Bill Nye the Science Guy
2. Wishbone - I was reading an old journal of mine recently, and apparently these used to be on back-to-back in the afternoons. It was my idea of heaven then, at the end of elementary school…and that was a smart opinion. Those shows were amazing. I miss them like whoa.
3. Full House - I didn’t quite grow up with it, but reruns were on at 5, and at daycare we’d sometimes get to watch it if our parents were late picking us up. Thereafter I watched it whenever possible at home, and – naturally – read the Stephanie Tanner books
4. Duck Tales – I don’t remember what was so great about this cartoon, but I know I watched it religiously on my dad’s little black and white TV whenever I went to work with him at his studio.
5. Garfield and Friends
Who Would You Do?: 5 TV Characters You Would...Well, It's Self-Explanatory
In which I am steadily coming closer to age-appropriate TV crushes. No one over 40. (Also no one under 28, but...we're getting closer)
1. Jim Halpert* (The Office)
2. Greg Sanders (CSI)
3. Charlie Eppes* (Numb3rs)
4. Don Flack (CSI: NY)
5. Seely Booth (Bones)
*In the cases of 1 and 3, however, I would like to disclaim that I’m really just more envious of their current girlfriends. My conscience cannot objectively view them outside of said perfect relationships.
What? No. No, I Don't Watch That...: 5 Guilty Pleasure TV Shows
1. America's Most Smartest Model. Seriously, I'm so ashamed of this that even after I'd been trying to catch the latest episode for days, I snapped it off 20 minutes from the end when my roommate came back. However, I enjoy it so much that I’ll watch reruns twice if they happen to be on.
2. The Lizzie McGuire Show. It started out innocently enough, I was babysitting the younger version of myself, and she wanted to watch this…and I was instantly hooked. I still think the Lizzie character is adorably endearing.
3. Sex and the City. Intellectually, I know it is garbage, and yet I sort of fell in love with it anyway. Provided I get the tame cut version on network TV, of course. Mom checked out the DVDs once - I am SCARRED FOR LIFE from a certain scene involving Samantha in the final episode.
4. Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader? Yep. I’m afraid I still watch it on occasion. As horrible and stupid as it is, it’s like crack.
5. Power Rangers (Mighty Morphin-Turbo). This is the one truly sort of shameful show in my repertoire, but I can’t help it. Starting at age 10, I fell head over heels for the characters and never got over it. The 5 minutes of development they got around the other 17 minutes of idiotic karate fighting and evil monsters were worth it every time. Luckily, the power of YouTube now allows me to seek out the good clips alone. I probably didn’t need to admit that last bit.
Wow: 5 TV Moments You Still Remember (And Probably Won't Forget)
1. X-Files series finale. There are a vast number of moments I could have picked from this show alone, but those two hours of my life were just…whoa. I read every article and watched every TV talk-show appearance I could get my hands on for weeks ahead of time. I planned my whole day around it. The event itself was surreal. As were the two hours afterwards in which I tried to process it all.
2. CSI, “Grave Danger.” 2 hours of intense, jaw-dropping excitement…and how often does an episode of a show you’ve been watching for years suddenly take your breath away and make you obsessed with said show?
3. Joan of Arcadia, when Adam cheated on Joan and BLEW UP MY HAPPY LITTLE ARCADIA WORLD (ironically, shortly before the network really blew it up with the Axe of Cancellation). I’m so not kidding. I raged about it for days…I may have even called my mother to complain.
4. O.C., Ryan & Marissa spooning in the TJ hotel room. No matter how many new ways I found to hate the show, I always returned to that image in episode 7, the episode that had permanently cemented my love for the show and made it impossible to ever walk away from.
5. The day the poor, wholesome, scrappy little WB collapsed under the pressure for ratings, merged with the trash of UPN, and was forced to euthanize a number of its better offerings in the name of CW compromise. (*sobs* What I Like About You!)
"Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs": 5 TV Theme Songs You Know (and Love) By Heart
1. Joan of Arcadia – Basically, I want to marry this theme and have babies with it. Between the song itself (What if God was one of us?) and the credits sequence on the show, it’s perfect.
2. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air – name me an 80’s child who doesn’t know this by heart. In fact, one night in high school, on the bus home from pep band, some guys in back spontaneously burst into the rap and almost every single person immediately joined in. The other two were later found to be lacking a pulse.
3. Reba – I recently discovered reruns on Lifetime, so I’m parked there every other evening, and I have a habit of singing along This show represents years of Friday night happiness with the WB comedies. A single mom who works too hard, who loves her kids and never stops…
4. Ally McBeal – I think the theme song is half the reason I started watching. Vonda Shepard is a good hook.
5. Friends – For years, I refused to watch this, but I always ran into the room if I heard the theme song starting.
How sad is it that not one of those is a current show? It makes me even sadder to realize that the only current shows of mine with lyrics – of those lucky enough to still have a musical credits sequence at all - are those in the CSI franchise (and I can’t say I exactly love The Who).
Eh.: 5 Shows You Just Can't Get Into
1. Supernatural – I’ve never actually watched an episode, but I'm turned off by the massive slash-fan following, and I think both actors are ugly anyway. So.
2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Huge cult following it may have, and go hand-in-hand with the X-Files fandom, but I just don’t get it at all. Sarah Michelle Gellar is awesome, but this show is dull.
3. 24 – even after it sucked my parents in, and even after I tried to watch 3 or 4 episodes, I found myself bored to tears. Action/terrorists/drama/blah.
4. Friday Night Lights – the way everyone raved about it in its first season, I thought there must be something wrong with me for not loving it. And yes, okay, Coach is awesome. But the show itself, from what I’ve gleaned from previews, includes everything I hate about dramas: namely, teenagers and sex. Teenagers who are not nearly as pretty as the ones on The O.C., and so they don’t get a reprieve.
5. Big Brother. Apparently, everyone and their mother considers this their summertime guilty pleasure, but I don’t see the appeal at all. It could have been a great sociological experiment, but instead it’s basically a camera into a co-ed frat house. Who the hell cares?
The Starting Line-Up: 5 Channels You Go To First When You Sit Down to Watch TV
I’m only listing cable channels, even though I only have access to those while at school, because I rarely if ever flip on the TV at home without knowing precisely what I want to watch. Network schedules are limited that way.
4. ABC Family
This Is An Environment of Welcoming, and You Should Just Get the Hell Out of Here: 5 TV Characters You Could Do Without
1. Peter Griffin (Family Guy). Now, everyone knows I think we could do without Family Guy, PERIOD, but I have somehow seen enough episodes to know that by and large what makes the show so disgusting and crude is the title patriarch himself.
2. Mark Sloan (Grey’s Anatomy). Words cannot express my loathing for this guy. Well, some words can: manwhore, overly smug, cocky, ass, bastard, homewrecker, MANWHORE, vain, skeevy, sleazy, pretentious, self-serving, self-absorbed…
3. Kerry Weaver (ER). Every time I start to miss the “classic” days with all the old doctors, I remind myself that Kerry was there too, with her shrill, harsh, grating voice, her perma-crabbiness, her ridiculous baby drama and the whole dragging, multi-year ORDEAL involved in her coming out.
4. Bobby Goren (Law & Order: CI). Even in the middle of summer when I was desperate for new crime drama, I could not watch this show because of him. People complain about Horatio’s weird mannerisms, but really, Goren is like 6,000 times worse. He doesn’t even have that whole tortured-angst, world-on-my-shoulders savior complex to redeem him.
5. Kevin Malone (The Office). If you thought Michael was my most hated character on the show, you were wrong. Looking at Kevin, or in fact just hearing him speak (never mind both together) makes me physically ill. Very much like Peter Griffin, in that respect. He’s a tamer version, less crass, but still crude and slobby. Shut up, spell checker; if slobby’s not a word I’m making it one.
The Collective Experience: 5 Times TV Brought You Closer To Someone Else
I had to think really hard about this section, because TV has generally been a very personal and individual thing for me – I prefer to watch it by myself, and my interests rarely match those of people I know anyway. But here’s what I came up with…
1. American Idol - seasons 1, 2 and 6. Mom & I formed Girls Nights around watching this show. She loved it considerably more than I did, but watching it together made for a lot of fun.
2. Digimon. Do not laugh! My best friend and I both secretly liked this show when it first started, but were afraid to admit it since it was a cartoon and we were in 8th grade. Once we stopped hiding behind the excuse of our little siblings, though, we'd watch it on Saturday mornings after sleepovers. And then we started the epic and infamous project that was The Interview Lady Series (well, I’d started it alone, but with her help we developed it into an epic and infamous franchise), which was to become one of the most solidifying bonds in our friendship.
3. Pokemon. While we’re on the topic of anime…this one’s all thanks to my brother. My brother and I have a long history of not getting along, but he watched this show every day after school the first year it was on, and then I watched it because it was there, and when he got totally obsessed with the trading cards and the Gameboy game and a guide book, I learned it all right along with him. We had a lot of lively discussion about this subject matter. Even though he was about 7 years old.
4. The Antiques Road Show. Dad is not particularly fond of current commercial TV, so 80% of the time you will find him parked on one of the PBS stations. I am allergic to those stations, so we rarely share TV time, but this is one of the few times I’ll cross over to his side. We have a good time trying to predict the prices.
5. Unsolved Mysteries. Oh wow, this is an old one, but another opportunity for mother-daughter bonding. I was really quite young when this was on, but I loved watching it with her. It was one of the few shows that actually scared me – not so much that I had nightmares or anything, but it was definitely spooky (hence why it was nice watching with Mom).
That's What She Said: 5 Quotes That Still Resonate
I’m terrible at remembering quotes…okay, have to dig some up…and I don't have any. So I’ll go with the first 5 that jump to mind, good or not.
1. “I don’t know how to exist in a world where my dad doesn’t.” --George (Grey’s Anatomy). Simply put, that line makes me cry every time. And that was a really heavy start, so I’m going to make the rest much lighter.
2. “I will kill you 18 different ways with this paper clip.” –Ziva (NCIS). Just one of many reasons I adore her.
3. “[My heart] is getting locked in a box. Inside a safe. Surrounded by sharks. With guns.” –Kat (The Class). OH, SHOW. You were canceled so young…you had so many more hilarious quotes to give…
4. “Can’t talk. Robbed. Go hell.” –Homer, distractedly waving off Ned Flanders (Simpsons). A long time ago, I planned to start a TV quote list…that never really got off the ground, but I love this line. The delivery still cracks me up.
5. OMGWTFPOLARBEAR! (Lost) OK, I’m cheating because that’s not an actual quote, but has a more useful phrase ever sprung from a TV show?
Gimme More: 5 Shows You Can Never Get Enough Of
1. The Simpsons
3. That 70’s Show (I think I have literally seen every episode of these 3 shows about a dozen times, yet they never, ever get old)
5. The X-Files