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CSI Miami Annoys AGAIN.

(Also featuring: more catch-up!)

Death Eminent
Still not H-centric, despite featuring Judge Ratner.  Still sucks.   Screw equal screentime, I want my wounded, brooding, angsty lieutenant and his Tale of Woe front and center.  You promised me backstory damn it!  Right before Marisol arrived, you promised me New York and mother's murder and the Cardinal as a recurring character, and even teased the possible return of Suzie and Madison, but then we all got distracted by the pretty woman and Looks of Love and fell off track.  And actually, I was totally okay with that.  But now the pretty woman is dead and her killer is too, and H has apparently just faded into the background.  I feel like I'm a distant outside observer instead of being right in there, up close and personal, with his storyline. I miss H.  Desperately.  It's too late to make me care about Calleigh and her sudden, slightly odd super-empathy for the victims.  It's beginning to piss me off that Ryan keeps trying to beat people up; where is  all this collected rage coming from?  If nothing else, you should have started this at the beginning of season 4, when he cut his hair and got all bulked up, so I could have at least blamed steroids.  And it's not like he's even pissed about losing his sight, because you took great pains to remind us that the nail-through-the-eye did no actual lasting damage at all.  So.  That's no good either.

"Smug H" was back this week and going toe-to-toe with Judge Ratner and actually winning for once, but it just wasn't satisfying enough.  I mean, how convenient is it that the judge not only had a daughter (because...what else would Horatio have caught him for?), but that he paid to have her killed and then the killer buried the body in his backyard?  Christ.  And he wasn't even overly confident about it.  I mean, the first time he tried to arrest  him, he was practically doing a little dance when he gleefully revealed which judge was the real killer of the prostitute.   Second time we saw him - trying to get Walter Resden thrown in jail; Ratner grinned and declared "your team shouldn't have been working the case; inadmissable" - he was pleading at first, and then when Ratner replied "I warned you," then he changed to quiet fury and contempt: "The blood of his future victims is on you."  This time it was just... "la la la, you're guilty.  This time I have you.  No arguments.  Okay, take him."   Anti-climatic. 

And don't even get me started on how much Natalia needs to die.  A simple firing is no longer enough for me; I want her death.  Wait no I don't...that would be much too dramatic and give her more than she deserves.  A simple firing will do.  IMMEDIATLEY.

But first we need to kill her ex-husband.  God damn show, it's back to its old tricks of creating effing EXTREMELY PENIBLE (French word; should have an accent over the E)/INFURIATING RECURRING CHARACTERS!  He's actually even more annoying than Natalia, and you didn't think that was possible, did you?  Bring back Yelina!  Bring back Yelina!  Isn't Sofia Milos's stupid telenovela over yet?  Which reminds me, why does Frank get no screentime?  KILL ROB ESTES.  (I mean, "Nick.")

I also desire to kill Erica Sykes ASAP, though she's a distant third behind Snake Lady and her ex.  Still, they've had all these opportunities to bump her off, and yet they keep squandering them...

Damn TPTB ruined my show. They ruined my show, and I seriously don't know if it is fixable.  MAYBE next week?  Maybe?  We're at a point where I'm ready to sacrifice ALL "character development" for a little while, just to avoid Natalia, and maybe we'll get an interesting case.  I know, weird concept, but you never know.  CSI is officially back on my taping schedule.  I'm not quite ready to stop taping Miami, but I'm giving it serious consideration. 
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NCIS: Dead and Unburied
Remember last week, where I wanted to throw up twice?  Yeah.  I wanted to do that again this week.  JIMMY PALMER AND MICHELLE LEE IS NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND WHEN I SAID I WANTED ROMANCE ON CRIME SHOW!  EW!!!!!!!!!!!  Literally, I screamed in disgust, covered my eyes, and tasted bile.  I hate Agent Lee.  and I don't quite hate Jimmy, but I view him more as an annoying, bumbling, oversized dog that should be kept in the backyard most of the time and only let in on special occasions.  I had been liking his diminished role of the past few episodes...not so much anymore, though. 

*shudders* It's enough to make me miss Gibbs-and-Jenny-in-Paris flashbacks.  No.  You know what?  I DO miss those.  I've become a weird sort of Gibbs-and-Dear-Jenny shipper.  I'm dying to know the details of their Paris affair, and I actually really liked their conversation in the office.  I was excited when Gibbs shut the door and actually snapped "We're talking about it now."  I like little hints where you can see why they used to be in love.  I'm sorry if that makes me a horrible person.

I'm also amused by the shipperiffic tidbits used to feed the Tony and Ziva shippers (i.e., Tony gradually leaning closer and closer to Ziva until he ends up with both arms around her in order to type on her keyboard while she's still sitting there).  I still can't see them linked romantically, but it's fun to try.  Ziva will never let her guard down, although I think if you put them in a near-death situation (by which I mean Ziva almost dying and Tony saving her life), I'll bet Tony would find out he and Danny Messer have a lot in common when it comes to their teammmates.  But like I said, Ziva will never let her guard down.  I don't blame her; I don't think I could ever fall in love with Tony either, though he is attractive, fun to tease and torment, and occasionally even capable of having a serious conversation.  I mean...he's Tony. 

I'm not going to make any comments on Abby making suggestive comments about what style of underwear Gibbs prefers.  Just...no.  Not going there.  I'm done talking; good night.  
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Okay, not goodnight.  Quick recap of the CBS comedies: The Class amuses me more every single week (awesome interlocking plot lines!  Especially Ritchie!  And Lena!  And Ritchie's wife played by the Always Awesome Sara Gilbert!  And [Jason Ritter].  And KAT!  (Can you tell I'm showing off how many names I learned this week?) Holly (Reporter Girl)'s neurosis bothers me more every week.  So does her husband.  And the rest of the crew.  Actually, let's just forget the other two storylines; I don't like them quite as much.  Though all storylines are still tolerable, the ones involving the twin sisters are quite enough to amuse me.  HIMYM (I'm pronouncing it "Him-Yim") is still totally awesome, so is Two and a Half Men (Oswald!! HAH).  Christine still blah and bland, and it's lucky it's on at 8:30 right before my favorite 3rd favorite (and still dropping) show, or I'd probably walk away from the TV.  (FYI: NCIS and CSI are now battling it out for my favorite-show-of-the-season.  CSIM's still the winning series overall, but...)   

And SVU tonight!  I finally watched it again!  It was massively interesting, it really was, even though I'm pretty sure they have used this plotline before, haven't they?    I could have sworn they used it on this very show.    I don't know.  I just thought it seemed familiar: rapist going after women with the intent of impregnating them.  Ultimate purpose, guytrying to combine his superior genes with superior genes in order toimprove the general population and OH MY GOD, that's exactly like that 2-part episode last year, only it was a woman doing the raping and she was doing it for the money/because she was a sociopath, but her biological father was one of those scientists trying to improve the population by matching up ideal genetic material.   Damn, I wish I knew episode titles for this show; it would make things less confusing. 

And I really felt for the victims this week, even more than I usually do.  Can't bring myself to care quite so much about Detective Replacement (I guess it's Beck?) anymore.  The fact that Casey hates her effectively cancels out Elliot liking her, and now she's going all crazy-ass on suspects and...take a chill pill, and then perhaps a trip to Miami to talk to Caine about how to deal with your spouse's murder without arousing suspicion.  Or just wait for him to make his annual trip up to New York; it's nearly that time of the year (late November).

Tomorrow night, Lost and CSI: NY.  I'm looking forward to the latter more than the former.  I mean, I already saw Sawyer and Kate make out (and that in itself was far less satisfying than all those sweet scenes in season 2); what else I got to live watch this show for? It's not like I'm dying to see them have sex.  And I already saw Claire kiss Charlie, too.  All of my goals on Lost have been achieved.  With the possible exception of another polar bear sighting (unlikely), there's really nothing for me to look forward to. Sigh.  More Skate scenes motivated by romance, I guess, and maybe Charlie/Claire Interaction of Cute, but I won't be waiting on pins and needles. 

For the remainder of this week, as far as specific episodes go, I'm mostly looking forward to Survivor and CSI.  And also Law and Order.  I'm ready to try out my Vertigo-esque coping skills again and try to peripherally see Marisol through the snippy and business like outer shell that is Consuela Rubirosa (is that Alana's new character's name?)

Okay, NOW it's time to say good night.  

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