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Fandom Surveys of DOOOOM!

(I don't even want to think about how much non-academic writing I produced this weekend.  I CANNOT SEEM TO STOP.  I think I'm done after this post, though.) 

The first one is a recycling of the "Six Ships You Like" etc. meme, and it's a fairly standard set of answers, offering a little insight into my perspective on various pairings.  The second one, though...the second one, my Cracked-Out Theories run WILD  And I apologize for random font/size changes; I can't seem to control them. 

Meme One: 


Name six ships you like:
1) Jim/Pam (Office)
2) Joe/Allison (Medium)
3) Abby/Luka (ER)
4) Charlie/Amita (Numb3rs)
5) Jack/Juliet (Lost)
6) Derek/Addison (Grey's Anatomy)

Three ships you used to like but don't like anymore:
7) Martin/Samantha (Without a Trace)
8) Mac/Stella (CSI: NY)
9) Luka/Sam (ER)

Three ships in your various fandoms you don't ship:
10) Jim/Karen (Office)
11) Abby/McGee (NCIS)
12) George/Callie (Grey's Anatomy) [UNDERSTATEMENT]

Two ships you are curious about but haven't actually started shipping:
13) Scotty/Lily (Cold Case)
14) Don/Amita (Numb3rs)

Why do you dislike #11 so much?
(Abby/McGee) I don't intensely dislike them, they're just kind of blah for me.  I can see how they work, as a safe and comfortable choice, but they're not very cute at all. 

Who is someone you know that ships #13?
(Scotty/Lily)
Probably a chunk of fandom, but I don't really know any other serious CC fans

What would be your ideal scenario for couple #3?
(Abby/Luka)
Internet gossip has convinced me that I want to see Abby move to Croatia with Luka and their son, but that's my realistic desire.  My ideal desire is that they stay right where they are in Chicago.  I don't really care whether they stay at County or not, since that place is rapidly falling apart, but I like they idea of them in Chicago...just with frequent vacations to Croatia.

And obviously, they live happily ever after until death do them part.

What is your favorite episode for #1?
(Jim/Pam)
We're all in agreement that "Money" (in its 1-hour version) takes the cake.  Although "Casino Night" kicked some serious ass too.

How long have you been following couple #6?
(Derek/Addison)
Somewhere near the end of season 2, I think, or perhaps early season 3.  You know, right when it was starting to permanently fall apart. 

What's the story with #8?
(Mac/Stella)
In a word, Peyton. That is to say, Mac/Stella was my comfort 'ship when I wasn't feeling anybody all that strongly - long before D/L, obviously - but then along came Peyton and everything just instantly clicked.

Which ship do you prefer: #2 or #4?
(Charlie/Amita vs. Joe/Allison)  OH COME ON!  You want to throw Jim & Pam into the contest too?!  Those are seriously the two brightest spotlights in my weekly lineup.  I think I'm going to have to say Charlie/Amita just for the sum pretty factor, but then again...snuggling.  Gah.

You have the power to make one ship nonexistent. Choose from #10 or #12.
(Jim/Karen vs. George/Callie)  Ugh, this is...actually, not a hard choice.  Karen makes me angry, but I figure her year of existence bought us at least an equivalent amount of J/P bliss.  And at least the sight of her doesn't fill me with nausea and loathing like Callie does. 

What interests you about #14?
(Don/Amita) A lot.  He called her "sweetheart" and I found it filled me with glee, and a few episodes later when I was pontificating on what would have happened if Charlie had been killed, I found myself devastated at the idea of her no longer being in the Eppes family.  And it occurred to me that they would have a lot in common with one another, and that while he'd be intrigued and impressed by her intelligence, she'd be attracted to that whole hot/strong/angsty/protective streak he's got going on.  They'd complement each other's strengths every bit as well as she and Charlie match them. 

...what?  I still don't actually ship them.   

When did you stop liking #7?
(Martin/Samantha)
Probably right around the time the show got deathly dull, in early season 5...they'd already broken up by that point.  Meanwhile, I'd found a whole slew of guys more attractive than Martin, and lovely and wonderful as Samantha is, she really treated him like crap when they were together.  Kind of hard to root for them.

Did your waning interest in #9 kill your interest in the show?
(Luka/Sam) Not a bit.  My waning interest in them had everything to do with him getting a much more compelling love interest, which in turn kept me tuned in to the show.  ...it may have slowly killed my interest in Sam, though.

What's a song that reminds you of #5?
(Jack/Juliet) "Short Skirt/Long Jacket"?  I DON'T KNOW.  I very rarely have songs for my ships, and that one is my "Abby Sciuto" song largely because of the 'long jacket' reminding me of a lab coat (okay, I got the idea from a video), and Juliet also wears (or used to wear) a lab coat?  And...their ship is called "Jacket"? 

Which of these ships do you love the most?
Did we not already go over this question?  I AM TORN IN TWO IF NOT THREE DIRECTIONS.  Jim/Pam provides me playfulness, snappy banter & prankdom, and the occasional epic kiss.  Charlie/Amita provides me genius banter, regular touches and quick kisses, heaps o' pretty and the occasional near-death scenario.  And Allison/Joe provides me more snuggling-in-bed scenes than I know what to do with, in addition to various other cuddling and kisses plus PARENTING, so. 

Which do you dislike the most?
George/Callie, without question.

If you could have any of these two pairings double-date, who would it be?
Having been inspired by a fic, I'm going with Charlie/Amita and Allison/Joe.  Lookee, it's my two OTPs plus two GENIUS mathmeticians all at once!  Although the team of doctors/surgeons could be fun too.

Have #2 kissed yet?
(Allison/Joe) *rolls over laughing* They've been married 15 years, have 3 kids, and would seem contractually obligated to kiss at least twice per episode.

Did #4 have a happy ending?
(Charmita) IT'S GETTING THERE.  I remain firmly unshaken in my belief that Charlie & Amita will eventually be married and living in the giant house with or without Alan, but definitely with a pair of moptop mini-geniuses (1 girl, 1 boy, in that order and not twins).  And a dog.  And Don will be a really fantastic uncle for many years before he finally settles down.  I could on describing Megan & Larry's future daughter and David's eventual kid(s) with Claudia too, if you like. 

Why yes, I DO have a ridiculously complex happy-ending fantasy life planned out for this ship. 

What would make you start shipping #14?
(Don/Amita) Nothing more or less than Charlie's death

If only one could happen, which would you prefer--#2 or #6?
(Joe/Allison v. Derek/Addison)
That's not even a question.  The former, obviously.

You have the power to decide the fate of #10. What happens to them?
(Jim/Karen)
Karen stays in Utica (or perhaps moves to New York and/or meets a great guy, depending on how generous I'm feeling); Jim marries Pam and eventually ditches Scranton - or at least Dunder Mifflin - with no forwarding address, and the parties never cross paths again. 

--------------
Meme Two:

A while ago, I was filling out a meme I'd already done, just for fun.  Not wanting to post the same survey twice in a fortnight but also not wanting to throw it all away, I hoarded the best/craziest answers on my computer.  Later I dug it out and decided that in addition to the few questions from the first survey, I would add in some more thought-provoking questions, which I mostly stole from things submitted to  [info]k_t_f's journal, with a few minor alterations for clarity or to more equally use all the characters in my list.  THE POINT of that long-winded explanation is, this is a mutt meme.  And on the bright side, many of my answers are exceptionally long and thought-out, to the point where they’re like mini-ficlets.  (rough, unpolished, more-like-extended-summary ficlets...but still). So.  Go have fun.  I did not spend a ridiculously long time on this at all.   

 

THE CHARACTERS

1. Cooper Freedman (Private Practice)

2. Abby Lockhart (ER)
3. Jack Hodgins (Bones)
4. Greg Sanders (CSI)
5. Violet Turner (Private Practice)
6. Tony Gates (ER)
7. Yelina Salas (CSI: Miami)
8. Jen Shepherd (NCIS)
9. Lisa Cuddy (House)
10. Preston Burke (Grey’s Anatomy)
11. Charlie Eppes (Numb3rs)
12. Amita Ramanujan (Numb3rs)

 

THE QUESTIONS

1. What might be a good pick-up line for Two to use on Ten? (Abby/Burke)

"So, I've learned that the phrase 'Going Croatian is like taking vacation' is very true.  I was wondering if you'd like to help me test the validity of...other demographic sayings."

2. What is Six's super-sekret kink? (Gates)

When Sarah’s 20, he’s going to think differently about her.  OH NO, I DID NOT JUST GO THERE.  Except I did.  Wow, when was the last time I scarred my own brain?  

3. How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon? (Yelina/Jen)
Like it was weirdly appropriate for Gibbs to have driven a woman he rejected to the other team, and possibly quite understandable for Yelina too, after her experiences with Raymond’s asshattery and Stetler’s abuse and Horatio’s mumbling inadequacy. 

 

4. Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?(Charlie/Cuddy)
Probably, but only drunkenly, and only in a moment of vulnerability after Amita broke up with him.


5. "1 and 9 are in a happy relationship until 9 suddenly runs off with 4. 1, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with 11 and a brief unhappy affair with 12, then follows the wise advice of 5 and finds true love with 3."

OR...
Cooper and Cuddy are in a happy (if long-distance) relationship on opposite coasts, until Cuddy suddenly runs off for some hot young tail in the form of Greg Sanders.  Really, who could blame her?  Cooper, broken-hearted that his first attempt at a serious relationship failed miserably, answered an ad for SexyHotMathGeek, only to discover that he was meeting a guy.  He decided to go with it anyway after finding out that Charlie was in exactly the same boat, having been dumped by longtime girlfriend Amita.  Except then!  Said girlfriend swept in to steal her ex’s date, and subsequently fooled around and/or made out with him in public whenever possible, just to screw with Charlie’s head.  (Cooper, of course, was powerless to turn down sex even while realizing he was a pawn) Eventually she realized she was hurting herself more than Charlie, and got back together with him. 

 

Meanwhile, one night in the bar… Cooper, in a moment of drunken misery, confessed that he’d really, really enjoyed his night with Charlie. After dumping a pitcher of beer over his head - because she’d just been about to admit that she was actually in love with him - Violet counseled him to look deep inside and come to terms with his sexuality, whereupon he attended a black-tie charity event, hooked up with the newly single Hodgins, and lived happily ever after.  Well, mostly happily...there's this crazy woman named Angela who keeps stalking them...

6. What title would you give this fic?
Round and Round the Crooked Pole

 

7. 7 needs to make Horcruxes, Tom-Riddle style.  What does 7 makes them out of and who does 7 murder to make them?

#7 is Yelina Salas, so...oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.  THIS IS HOW RAYMOND KEPT FAKE-DYING!  HE MADE HORCRUXES!  He's probably still got some life left somewhere!  (This theory is too brilliant for words.  I love whoever made this question) And so apparently he taught his wife this devious secret too...I'm guessing for her own protection, right after he realized that the many drug dealers he was in debt to down in Brazil would happily take their revenge on family members.  Not sure why she went along with it, but maybe some of Raymond's evil seeped into her through osmosis.  Still, in that case, I'm guessing Yelina took out various drug dealers to complete her Horcruxes.  As to what she made them out of...well, all I can say is that one of them is definitely the Sunglasses of Justice.    

 

8. Which two characters are most likely to get married?  Who is against this marriage?  Who are the groomsmen/bridesmaids?  Who is sobbing in the front row?  Where is this taking place?  Notable events at the reception? 

Damn, that's a lot of questions, but the answer is clearly Charlie & Amita.  Amita's parents are probably still protesting Charlie's non-Indian heritage quite strongly, so that must mean the two of them...oh hell, I prefer to skip over the details of their actual wedding because I have no idea how you'd meld lax Judiasm with extra-traditional Hinduism short of a simple courthouse wedding.  Let's pretend they figure something out in which Don's the best man and Larry, Colby and David are filling out the rest of Charlie's side.  Amita probably has a sister for a maid of honor - I think she has sisters...or else some of her Primacy-playing friends.  I don't know who's crying, unless Megan starts tearing up.  (probably hormonal.  there will be a little Larry any day) 

 

Notable events?  Oh, I'm betting Don's team, despite having declared a special one-time-only national holiday that required them all to have the same day off work, manages to get hauled off to a murder case anyway, and there is a giant fuss as pretty much the entire groom's side of the wedding party - groom included - attempts to leave to go to work.  And then Papa Eppes stands up and hollers at them that for once in their lives, seeing as this is A WEDDING, they can wait half a damn hour: the guy's not getting any deader.  He yells it in a much more frightening tone of voice than I have conveyed here.  Everyone is cowed and does as he says, and the wedding proceeds as normal.  Heh.

 

9. Fanfiction on a ficathon deadline needs to be written.  3, 4 and 5 have been assigned to the task.  What fandom is it, what pairing are they writing about, what rating is it, and how are they getting along/dealing with the pressure of a deadline?

Woo!  So, Violet, Hodgins and Greg are writing fic.  Right from the get-go, it's scientists vs. psychologist, men against women, and things are not going so well - especially since after the guys commandeer the computer, Violet spends the next hour loudly psychoanalyzing all the signs and potential causes for their age-inappropriate immaturity.  Hodgins and Greg respond by brainstorming up a slew of pranks on their designated coffee break, but while they're doing that, Violet deletes their half-finished and very gruesome murder/alien plot story for X-Files.  Hodgins is particularly furious, because he spent hours doing painstaking research for the government-conspiracy angle, and all his notes were developed in that story.

 

Unfortunately, by this point they're down to a mere two hours in which to finish, and so they have to go with Violet's already mostly-complete E.R. romance, in which she tells the epic Seattle love story of Doug & Carol, picking up right where the series left off with him.  Greg looks faintly nauseated by all the fluff, and begs to improve things with a spicy sex scene, which Violet consents to only if she has final editing/veto power.  (He grants it, and surprisingly she only takes out half) Meanwhile, Hodgins just declares that he's put in his time and stalks off to go observe bugs.  In the end, they submit a 12-page, M-rated story entitled "Once in a Lifetime Love" that is at least 90% Violet's work, and then Vi takes her own copy into a corner with a box of Kleenex and weeps about the beauty of soulmates.  Also, she would like her idiot partners to know it is total coincidence that Doug was a pediatrician.


10. 6, 9, and 10 get roped into playing on a recreational softball team. What are their reactions?
Gates, Cuddy and Burke - oh boy!  Must be medical staff versus, um, I dunno...law enforcement personnel.  Gates is delighted, because he played baseball in high school and college [as far as I know I'm making this up, but it sounds like it fits] and is generally amazing at it.  Cuddy played for fun in high school, and while she's embarrassed to put on a glove and makes a big production out of how she hasn't played in 20+ years and is probably TERRIBLE now, she's actually pretty giddy about having the opportunity and thinks it'll be fun.  Burke, meanwhile, coolly informs them that he was a trumpet player, thank you; he did not waste his time swinging childishly at a stupid ball, and at the present moment he would rather not unnecessarily endanger his highly specialized and valuable surgeon hands.  Gates makes a variety of squawking noises and other showboating taunts.  Burke uses his valuable surgeon hands to strangle Gates until Cuddy breaks it up.  [Damn it, Isaiah Washington, you've made it impossible for me to fill out any canon memes where Burke doesn't strangle someone at least once.]  In the end, there is a unanimous vote to find a different player to fill the third empty spot on their team. 

11. A stray puppy follows 1 home one day. What does he/she do with it?
Cooper!  LOL!  Well, obviously he does one of two things: if it's a big, manly-type breed of puppy, he keeps it in order to charm Violet and prove that he's sweet and sensitive.  Then when it grows up he,  unlike Sam, will not be embarrassed to walk it in public.  However, it if it's a wimpy, girly-type breed of puppy, then he keeps it a secret for a little while until the next time Violet's having a miserable day, and then he surprises her with the cute, tiny, helpless little creature who needs her to love and nurture it.   

12. 1 and 10 are set up on a blind date. How does it work out?
Cooper and Burke!  I AM FAR TOO IN LOVE WITH THE HILARITY OF THIS IDEA, especially since I never guessed good ol' Burke to be an internet dater looking for hookups.  But more importantly, this is the second time in this post that Cooper has accidentally - or "accidentally?" - wound up meeting a guy.  He's either so horny that he's not checking the ads carefully, or he doesn't WANT to check the ads carefully.  I'll have to think about which option I want to pursue.

 

Anyway, the really fun part is when Addison strolls up to the bar where they've just met, mistakenly but joyfully thinks that Burke is going to join the practice too, and then, despite their protests, drags them over  to a booth and forces them to spend hours getting to know one another as she flings stories back and forth between Oceanside and Seattle Grace.  It's a great night all around.  :D 

13. 2, 8, 11 and 12 are taking a road trip together. Where are they going, what are they driving, and how badly are they at each others' throats?
Charlie & Amita, Madam Director Jen, and Abby Lockhart.  I don't know...what can two math professors, an NCIS director, and a random doctor have in common?  Let's try this:

Charlie and Amita are at a math conference in Chicago, when they happen to blunder over some important thing with La Grenouille, in which Charlie manages to get himself shot.  Not seriously, just enough to be painful and require medical attention.  While Amita waits with him at the hospital, Jen (who happened to be in the area, secretly, on her usual off-the-clock hunt) shows up demanding answers, but her questioning is rudely interrupted by the sight of a henchman skulking around in the halls, and the realization that Grenouille's people have set out to finish off the witness(es) and anyone they might have talked to.

 

Having failed to bring backup of any sort, or make any plans at all really, a desperate Jen somehow still manages to convince everyone in the room that their lives are in danger and they need to come with her RIGHT NOW.  And so, with her behind the wheel, the four of them find themselves in an unmarked van, heading for the nearest guaranteed safe location.  (Jen is not entirely sure where this is, but she's confident she can find her way there before long)  In the backseat, Abby's doing her best to stop the bleeding, since she didn't really have time to start patching Charlie up before the panicking and the escaping started.  The ride isn't doing him any favors for the pain, and Amita's getting right pissy at Jen for putting them in this situation.  She takes out her anger on Abby for not being able to help him, while Abby admirably restrains herself from slapping Amita and darkly vows that if she gets dragged into one more car with a gunshot victim, she's quitting her job and then suing County for all they're worth.

 

It's safe to say this is the least pleasant road trip ever. 

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