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'House, 4x10, "It's a Wonderful Lie"
Wheee, Christmas in January!  I actually liked it, although it would have been greater if they could have aligned it with Bones' Christmas ep, because they were on the same night throughout the fall, and the quirky Christmas-y styles would have complemented one another.  Random (and oh so fake) Secret Santas!  Church plays!  WILSON'S REINDEER HAT!!!!  (WILSON.  Why must you be so adorable?)

The patient case of the week would probably have been really good, especially since I just loved the girl playing the daughter, but I could not get past two glaringly disgusting aspects of it:
1) Ummm...WHY DOES THIS ELEVEN YEAR OLD GIRL KNOW HER MOTHER'S PREFERRED SEXUAL POSITIONS?  Why would anyone ever know their mother's preferred sexual positions, more like, but age 11?  Seriously.
2) So House extracts breast milk from random rogue cells in a nasty tumor.  That was enough to produce the usual body-related nausea this show is famous for, but then he shoots the syringe full of milk into the daughter's mouth.  WHAT THE FLYING FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT?!

Other than that, I really liked House's bubbly and cheerful Clinic patient, even though I spoiled myself about the Virgin Mary ending before I watched the episode.  (Speaking of which, I've never seen such an ugly, mangy looking donkey.  And since when were animals allowed inside the church?)

And is it weird that I'm a little bit jealous that after everything we had to put up with in the Chameron idiocy, now that they've apparently been in a functional and perhaps even loving relationship for at least half a season, we're not seeing it?  I dunno, they just looked so cute and happy in the Christmas party montage...I might possibly not hate them when they're cute.  And I honestly do not remember Chase being this attractive when he was still a star.

The more I see of the new team, by the way, the less I like them.  Thirteen still rocks my world, but good Lord do I ever hate Taub and Kutner.

'Law & Order, 18x5
I know they rip things from the headlines all the time for their plots, but I can't remember the last time it seemed so blatantly copied from real life.  They might as well have just gone ahead and named their character Larry Craig.  I'd like to say that  Lupo's "oh, hell no" face upon getting to be the one to go undercover in the men's room made up for it, but no...it really just wasn't all that exciting of an episode.  The second half, with the deluded Victor, was a bit more entertaining, but not by much.  Mostly it reminded me how tired I am of the political campaigning already.  And...that's really all I have to say about that.  Moving on.

'Lost, 4x1, "The Beginning of the End"
Oh, Lost.  It feels like forever and a day since I last saw you...in fact, that's not exactly untrue; I haven't watched any episodes for any reason since the season finale eight months ago.  Read some of my old episode reviews to bring myself back up to speed, though, so I have to say I'm pretty impressed with how seamlessly the finale flowed right into the premiere.  It wasn't exciting all by itself, but the continuation of the current plot was good.

Best part of the episode, by far, was Jack greeting Locke with a punch in the face.  JACK, WHEN DID YOU BECOME SO AWESOME?  Maybe he always was.  Fandom is always mocking him and telling me how much I should hate him, but when I stop to think about it and he's not starring in flashbacks, I realize I actually like him quite a bit.  Plus, this whole thing where his hatred of Locke mirrors my own is winning him many points in my favor, and so the part where he attempted to actually kill Locke after punching him?  *swoons and faints*  Stupid gun not being loaded. 

Second-best part of the episode was Danielle whacking Ben across the face, because my dislike of bug-eyed Ben has increased exponentially in the last month; I CANNOT take this much Michael Emerson.  Not that I don't generally appreciate Ben-beatings, but it just seemed more satisfying this time around.  Especially since he has an infuriating habit of always maintaining the upper hand even while bound and bloodied ("Oh my!  Did you know that half-dead Naomi snuck off and Kate stole your satellite phone?  I had no idea that would be important later.")

Third-best part of the episode is a tie between Karl & Alex being cute & cuddly (this business of shipping teenagers continues to feel weird and not quite right, but I can't help it), and Claire's adorably SCANDALIZED face at Rose's suggestive suggestion of treating Charlie with all appropriate niceness when he gets back.  Lol, so cute.  AU FIC.  WRITE IT NOW.

Guess what?  Still bitter about Charlie.  Still so bitter.  I thought I was pissed about Shannon, but she pales in comparison to this.  (popping up in a flash forward does not make up for his death!  he has ugly hair now!  and is not talking to Claire!)  Also still annoyed by his friendship with Hurley, because I hate Hurley with an increasingly violent passion, and the latter's presence completely ruined my whole Claire-finds-out scene.  I was really quite looking forward to that!  And then Hurley went and smushed her reaction completely out of view, taking over the scene with his ugly moon gob.  I DON'T CARE IF IT'S YOUR EPISODE. THIS IS CLAIRE'S SCENE.  

Yes, I know if Hurley hadn't told her, Desmond would have, but even that would have been better - and still doesn't keep me from being grumpy and wishing Sawyer had done it.  Has nothing to do with my wayward Sawyer/Claire inclinations!  He was just being exceptionally good at looking stricken and clumsily attempting to offer comfort throughout this episode, and I maintain that he has a particular soft spot for Claire, so  I would have loved to see that interaction.  (while I'm dreaming, I also would have liked a slightly more emotional reaction from her...the wimpy not-quite-crying didn't really do it for me.  I did like the reaction shot from Sayid on the sidelines, though.)

Definitely not liking the fact that most of my favorites are following Crazy Locke (Claire!  Sawyer!  Alex & Karl!  VINCENT!!).  I'll stick with Team Jack, thanks very much.  Yes, I know it's been pretty much established that the boat people are Not Good, and so avoiding them is probably a wise move just now, but still - there has to be a reason Future Hurley apologizes for going with Locke and admits it was the wrong choice, right?  Plus, Sayid is on Team Jack.  You should always trust Sayid.

Briefly Noted:
-Hurley running in slow mo is gross.  Why would you even film that?  Was creepy as hell.

-Am I the only person who thinks that the way Sawyer said "Survivin'" sounded weirdly like he'd developed a sudden British Isles accent?  Kind of undermined all the seriousness in that scene.

-Reunion hugs, aw!  Rose/Bernard continue to do nothing for me, but Juliet hugging Alex was adorable, and as much as Sun annoys me at times, I tend to forget this fact when Jin is hugging her.

-Naomi's really dead now, right?  Good.  I'd forgotten how much she got on my nerves. 

-The scene at the cockpit reminded me how much I really do love Jack & Kate in a normal, non-shippy context.  They make good partners.  Should be showcased more often.

Like I said, was a surprisingly solid episode for having such copious amounts of Hurley and such minimal amounts of shipping squeeage, but I'm definitely looking forward to next week. 

P.S. In totally unrelated news, these dogs are SO beautiful (click on all the names for full effect).  Normally when people own multiple dogs, I'm only impressed by one of them, if that...but these people have four mutts who are not only all cute, but who each equally take my breath away with their beauty.  I think I'm almost jealous.

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