RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

Are these really my first TV reviews of the week?

I have a midterm tomorrow, which really does not require all that much studying, but my body saw fit to prepare for an all-nighter anyway.  So here I am, frittering away the extra time on LJ, talking about TV.

'Medium, 4x6, "Aftertaste"

I was not so much with the paying attention to this episode.  I was more with the “cooking dinner* and doing my homework.” (*er, what does it say about me that I watched that teaser and then was like, “I think I’ll have chicken?”)  To be fair, I mostly focused on other things because the episode would not stop with the extended sequences of Cannibal Senator in Vietnam/with his posse in current times, and it bored me to tears.  Also, there was more Devalos and Scanlon screen time in this episode than in the season to date.  Conclusion: It was most definitely better without them. 


And I would really love for Allison and/or Joe to find a steady source of income soon, because as they get nagging phone calls from credit card companies, it just reminds me of my own parents both got laid off at the same time last year (not to mention my own unemployment/current state of bank account), and it’s all very depressing.


I like the Joe/Bridgette bonding time, because they’re always so very adorable with their goodbye kiss when he drops her off at school, but it was just embarrassing to hear him offering to send a personal check to the random creditor for the purchase of a lock.  *cringe* "JOE!  You do not admit that you can spare some cash TO THE PERSON WHO HAS BEEN HOUNDING YOU ABOUT NOT PAYING BILLS.  In a related note, if you have spare cash, put it towards your bill."


I guess that’s about it, except – what is with all the Allison-in-bathtub scenes this season?  This is like 3 episodes in a row.  Bathroom is the new bedroom?  Not that I’m arguing with Joe in boxers, mind.  And the hair petting is always nice, even when said hair is stringy and damp. 


Here’s hoping next week is better.  Either my show overdosed on fluff early and burned out, or Doctor Who’s takeover of Shiny New Fandom Obsession ruined my ability to care about the drier parts, but something’s going on to make it less enjoyable than usual, and I don’t like it.  Especially since, with all the talk of shortened seasons and upfronts, it finally dawned on me that this show is on NBC, and is therefore IN NO WAY SAFE AT ALL from cancellation or guaranteed to come back next fall.  That’s a scary thought, especially since I’ve taken it for granted that my pack of CBS crime shows has been greenlit for ages.  

American Idol: 80's/Embarrassing Secrets Week
The watching of which I crammed in two hours before the results show, so...yeah.  Also, in retrospect, apparently my opinions are the opposite of everyone else's.  SIGH.  This grows tiresome.   

Top Eight Guys

My 2008 Reality-TV Boyfriend Luke: Heehee!  I love him so much.  And the story of his sister dressing him up like a ballerina makes me think I did not exploit my brother nearly enough throughout his childhood.  Although there was that time I convinced him to occupy himself one bored summer afternoon by doing the workouts in my CosmoGirl magazines...  

Anyway!  "
Jitterbug"?  I...have never heard of it.  OH!  "Wake me up before you go-go."  K, that's fantastic.  *dances about* Absolutely loving this performance.  Besides, he is so charming and pretty to look at that you obviously must keep him forever.  Especially since I'm never able to relax and enjoy his performances, because I'm constantly worried about his chances, because THE INTERNET IS MADE OF STUPID AND KEEPS HARSHING MY GLEE.  Why would you subject yourself to hours of this show each week if there's no one nice to loook at?  This ridiculous nonsense about the importance of "singing" must really subside at some point.  Teh Pretty pwns all. 


Archuleta: No!  Showing me you can play the piano will not help me like you!  Nor will singing a totally fantastic song with pretty lyrics telling a sad story about a "she'!  The internet slowly beginning to turn against you, however, might do the trick.  OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SONG A LOT.  However, I am quietly sitting here and thinking how much I would love it if Josh Groban would cover this.  Wouldn't that be fantastic?

P.S. Google tells me the song in question is by Phil Collins, "Another Day in Paradise," and as I listen the music just gets more fantastic, although Mr. Collins' voice is thin and reedy and < David Archuleta, even.  Which is vastly disappointing, and just further fuels my random desire for Josh Groban to sing it.  (in lieu of that, I want David's version!  Who can fetch me David's version?  I'd buy it, know.  iTunes.)

She calls out to the man on the street
He can see she's been crying
She's got blisters on the soles of her feet
Can't walk but she's trying

(*raises hand* From both past and current experience, blisters on the soles of your feet?  Hurt like a bitch.)

Danny: OH MY GOD.  I hated you even BEFORE you said "TMTH" like it was a normal part of conversation, but now there is just...not enough disgust in the world to describe how much I want to punch your fake-cute and simpering little face in, hate crime or not.  

"Tainted Love": My first impression was that he was destroying a fantastic worse than Rihanna, but then I realized it was actually pretty damn good.  I cannot *stand* the fact that I always find his songs enjoyable, given that whenever I look at him, he is doing one of those damned attitude-y head shakes.  Perhaps they could just force him to stay out of sight while he sings?  ...or perhaps I could just not watch him while he performs.  Ooh, as I write this hours later, option #2 is working amazingly well.  I've looped the song like 6 times in a row now.  Must move on!  Don't want to!

David H: Don't be gross, Creep.  That was the grossest story ever.  And EEEEEEEEEEH I REFUSE TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG.  THIS IS NOT A MAN'S SONG.  NO.  *skips*

You see, even setting aside my general love for Celine Dion, this song - "It's All Coming Back to Me Now" - has this hugely special place in my heart.  I was in dance for 15 years, but 1997 was the best recital of them all.  More amazing performances that year than any other, it has this magic and mythical place in my heart every time I watch the video.  For this song in particular, there was an utterly beautiful lyrical dance just so full of emotion that it still takes my breath away when I watch it/hear the track.  So you see why I cannot have this fool mucking up my pristine memories.  *hates David Hernandez so much*
Michael: WTF? What I care most about in his "embarrassing story" is - who is stupid enough to beat a guy up in front of 20,000 people?  (alternatively: there were 20,000 people and he still got beat up?)  Anyway.  He is currently owning this song ("Don't You Forget About Me," which I know from somewhere but cannot fathom why, so I'm going to assume a commercial), completely and totally owning it like it was written for him.  He *is* good at this type of song.   

Porky Pig: *yawns boredly*

Rymon Insert: "And we don't want to know what happened after your trip." Aw, Ryan is cute when he's all jealous and making assumptions!  

Jason C: do dreads just "fall out"?  I thought they were made of your actual hair?  I resume being repulsed by them.  Anyway, love "Hallelujah," liked his version, but feel that if you're going to sing a song that has a guitar and not much else, you might as well say "Screw you, Simon" and play your own. 

Chikezie: HAHAHAHAHA WOMEN'S BATHROOM!  Now *that's* truly embarassing.  The song is boring though.  He sounds old and boring.  
And now for the girls!

Asia: WEEEEE-HEE-HEE-HEE!  I actually watched half of girls night before I saw anything else this week, so this was my first dose of 80's week, and I totally and completely flipped out when I heard her open with "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."  Remember the utterly fantastic 1997 dance recital?  This was the opening number, and all the awesome competition kids from age 6 to 18 came out with this great, high-energy performance.  Needless to say, I was utterly enthralled with Asia's performance (except for the way her chin wobbles on the big notes, which is irritating).  She does this another week, I might let her have the proper spelling of her name back.  

Kady: You know I hate to say anything less than flattering about a blonde girl, but to be honest, she was so forgettable that I not only failed to write anything down...near the end of the show when I was trying to figure out who was left, I forgot she had already performed.  And I'm still kind of bitter and resentful about Alaina's departure, which I think I can blame on her.

Amanda: Is it just me or does Amanda look like someone who used to be overweight and then got really in shape?  I always think of her as a bigger girl, and was shocked to see how slim she was in this tight-fitting tank/jeans.  Um, anyway!  Not overly fond of the song, but totally love her voice, as well as the fact that she's like a tiger in performance and then like a little kitten in conversation.  The contrast is fantastic.  I love when people are less scary than they appear.    

Carly: Question - how long as it been since Carly actually lived in Ireland?  Because half the time she speaks, she sounds perfectly American.  Also, I truly cannot believe that her most embarrassing moment wasn't the acquiring of a giant Amy Winehouse tattoo.  That being said, while I hated the first verse (do not talk about being sticky), she then SLAMMED it out of the park on the chorus (especially the last one), and my jaw dropped with instant song love.   I'm going to go fetch the original ASAP.  

P.S. Having heard the original, damn, now I'm even more impressed at how awesome Carly was with the big note.

Kristy Lee: Simon, contrary to what I said early, stop calling the blonde girls forgettable.  What happened to you loving the pretty young things?!  Anyway.  Kristy Lee continues to equal the cuteness in a basket of kittens - and SHUT UP, TVSquad, if you think that her pretending to be a dog when she was little wasn't embarrassing!  She was barking at people and drinking out of bowls.  Little kids sometimes make me cringe more with their stupidity than anyone else.  I would definitely be shamefaced about a memory like that - if unimpressive with her song choices.  THAT IS NOT AN INVITATION TO VOTE HER OUT, AMERICA.  Kristy Lee gets infinite chances for being sweet and beautiful and horse-training.  Go set your wrath on Ramiele.  Speaki

Ramiele: Punky.  Mall-rat.  Asian stereotype.  Also continues to pick incredibly boring songs.  I cannot, for the life of me, understand what she is still doing here.

Paula/Simon cuddling insert: Awww, remember when they used to have adorable fights that were like flirting?  I miss that so much!  This little glimpse of the old days made my entire night, I swear. 

Brooke: "Love is a Battlefield."  Okay, I know this song can be cute because Jennifer Garner, Princess of Cute, did it in 13 Going on 30, Movie of Cute.  I really thought Brooke could pull it off, and then...she massively underwhelmed.  Also, I'll repeat what I said to Jason about the spare guitar.  Have the two of them been planning stuff together behind the scenes?  

Syesha: It was boring.  (and yes, I snickered when the judges only had time for like 3 words of commentary apiece.  Awesome.)

Results!  In running-commentary form:
Right at this minute, I am predicting a lot of horrible stuff to go down at the eliminations.  Specifically, I am expecting Luke and, definitely Chikezie to go.  Over in girls, I'm thinkin' it's Kady and Asia.  

Who SHOULD it be, if I could make America follow my whims like they damn well ought?  The non-Archuleta Davids, and...oh, I am so loathe to admit it, but KADY...and Ramiele.  Stupid Ramiele should have gone the first week. I miss Joanne. 

Oh, man.  You know who I didn't miss at all in the last ten months?  BLAKE LEWIS.  Those damned beatbox noises make me want to start whacking him with hammers.   Big ones.   Which is interesting, because I thought I tolerated him with occasional periods of liking him last year.  And yet right now, all I feel is this strange response of "OMG STABBITY."  (not sure how one stabs with a hammer, but...well, they do have claws)  I would love for someone to take this song and make a *normal* cover out of it, because "I'm caught in your rain" is a pretty fantastic lyric, and the melody might not even have been too terrible, but the noises that boy makes are unacceptable. 

Clown Boy is part of the band??  LOLTASTIC.

Dammit!  Despite what I said about both expecting and half-wanting it, with Kady out, that's two of my blondes down.  I'm betting Kristy Lee isn't far behind now, which will make Brooke the Season 7 Haley, and that would be bad.  I will start to resent her for the fact that I *have* to love her (for being the lone demographic representative).  

Ryan: David [Hernandez], you're in the top 12!
Me: The hell.
Ryan: *tells Luke he is not*
Me: "Fuck fuck FUCK!" (*clamps hand over mouth* I cannot believe I just yelled that out loud without making sure my roommate was gone.  Luckily, she was, but...THAT IS HOW FURIOUS I AM ABOUT THIS.  No self-control at all)

*drapes self over desk and cries for a while* But he's so NICE and PLEASANT and WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM AMERICA.  Damn you!  Damn you all to hell!  I will go console myself with the fact that he has a really cute wife, and therefore did not end up with a complete dose of nothing.  

Man, what does Asia do to her hair every week?  This short bob does her no favors at *all.*  I'm going to spend the commercial break in a state of denial that she's standing next to Kristy Lee waiting to hear the final elimination, because it is just so not cool to destroy my entire talent pool before the Top 12, America!

Ryan: I can say that Asia...YOU...
Me: *sulks* Are safe?
Ryan: are going home tonight.
Me: What??  WELL FINALLY, SOMETHING DIDN'T SUCK ABOUT TONIGHT.  And I actually feel kind of sad about this, because even though I thought she'd go (OMG, I have gotten *all* the predictions right so far.  This has never happened!), I'm going to miss her fun songs.  :( Much as I love Syesha's personality, after last night I wouldn't have minded giving her up instead.

Ryan: Chikezie - take a seat, you're in the top 12.
Me: *emits high-pitched squeal, possibly heard only by bats*
I DO NOT BELIEVE THIS AT ALL!  OMG!  OMGGGG!!  I seriously thought he was going to be Sanjaya and sail into Top 6.  And now Danny is GONE!  I don't even know what to do with this information!  I am in complete and utter shock!  MIRACLES, THEY HAVE BEEN PERFORMED!!

This in no way makes up for booting Luke, because as previously mentioned, Danny's songs could be pretty entertaining when you didn't look at him.  Whaaat is America's weird love for Porky Pig & The Walking Dead*?  (* = come on.  Look at Hernandez and tell me he doesn't remind you a little of Marc Anthony, all dead eyes and skeletal frame), Danny cries prettily.  Now I feel bad and want to hug him.  *holds* Poor little thing.    

You know who does not cry prettily?  Ramiele.  Seriously, if she doesn't cut it out with the bawling every week,  I'm going to get someone to smack her for me.  I sympathized the first week, when I thought she was losing her best friends thus far.  Now it just annoys me.   

Everyone else is crying "Best Top Twelve EV-AR!", but I'm afraid I cannot agree seeing as America already stripped out my top THREE favorites before we got to this point, and booted several more I liked pretty well.  Nevertheless, let me try to rank them anyway, in the order I currently dream of seeing them kicked off:

12. Oh, such a hard choice...Hernandez.
11. Porky Pig
10. Ramiele
   9. Chikezie
   8. Syesha
   7. Archuleta 
   6. Kristy Lee 
   5. Michael
   4. Brooke
   3. Amanda

A Brief Poeme
...oh God, that would give us
a final two 
of Dreadlocks and Tattoos
Undo! Undo!

K, well, to be honest, that list is not entirely accurate, and is actually quite useless after #9.  I no longer have a clear favorite; I only have a few remaining people that I despise.  Other than that, I don't think I'd really care about the order save that growly voice Amanda cannot go early, nor can blue-eyed and guitar-playing Jason, and that Carly ended up as high as she did because she fits my favorite demographic, but unlike the blonde beauties she picks songs I like.  And...well, Syesha needs to step it up a lot, is what I'm saying.  And Michael is, I hate to say it, forgettable.  By the next day, I remember that whenever he sings I think he's awesome, but I don't remember why.  Anyway, bottom line: DITCH A DAVID.

'Lost, 4x06, "The Other Woman"

Wow! That was a 195% improvement over last week!  I was going to make it an even 200, but then I had to detract points for the insanely creepy  Ben crush, in addition to...other stuff.  Juliet's pre-Jack love life is really icky, I've noticed.  Goodwin, for instance.  Mine eyes are still scarred from the scene of them in bed last season, and I really didn't want any reminders of their relationship, but upon finding out he was married at the time - even to a frigid bitch like Harper - just added so many layers of sleaze to his character.  And I was already surprised he didn't slip in his own oily ooze.

Now, Juliet episodes are made of win, as Juliet herself is, and on-island flashbacks are made of the biggest win of all, which is part of why I loved this ep.  I love seeing what was going on in Othertown at various points in the series.  But I did not need to see Ben's skin-crawlingly unsettling crush on her.  It's like watching the Beast try to court Beauty, if the Beast were as twisted and ugly inside as out.  It was so awful that I suddenly felt bad when he left Juliet weeping over Goodwin's body.  At least they had an actual romance.  And "you're mine"?!  Ew ew EW.  I resume wanting to see him beaten to a bloody pulp on a weekly basis. 

Random topic switch!  I feel like Charlotte is desperately in need of a nickname related to her newfound love for hammer-bashing peoples' skulls!  In a related note, I have officially stopped liking her.  Her personality is just too unpleasant.  And Daniel, well, let's just say I want to hammer-bash HIS skull.  With considerably more force than was used on the womenfolk.

Speaking of hammer-bashing, you know when I talked about how much greater it would have been had Sawyer been around to see/hear about it?  I had no idea how right I was until Jack found her lolling about in a state of semi-consciousness.  "DAMMIT, JATE!  THIS IS NOT YOUR EPISODE."  Future Self might find it in her to rewatch this later and remember that she loves the Jack/Kate dynamic (particularly if it involves Gentle Doctor Jack) so long as the romance factor is taken out...but Current Self is too busy being disgusted by the distinct lack of Sawyer in this episode.

Exact Quote: EXCUSEZ-MOI?  IT IS 8:55 AND WHERE IS MY PROMISED JACKET KISS?  You promised me a Jacket kiss, and then fobbed me off with - with - Jate cradling.  *fumes* 

All the promo pics showed the Intense Moment in the Rain, so I just naturally assumed it would take place then.  And while Jack & Juliet both looked close to initiating it, both ultimately resisted and turned away, so I started thinking it had been cut.  I was ticked, even though the Intense Moment in the Rain was very lovely & intense indeed, and burning with words unsaid.  And then: 

Just as I'd abandoned all hope, the other characters dissipated and left us alone with my new OTP (screw you, Skate).  I fell for them in the first place when Jack touched the burn on her back; this had a nice parallel with that same look of concern at the cut on her eyebrow and hand brushing her face.  

And then my heart broke when it finally became clear why she kept telling Jack not to follow her - look, just because I perform an Irish jig every time I think about Goodwin with a stake through his heart doesn't mean I'm impervious to what it did to Juliet.  Somehow, "Because he knows how I feel about you" resonated more than anything I've heard in a good long while.  All you need beyond that is...exactly what happens next!

With the tender look and the hair tucked behind ear and the kiss.  Did Sawyer & Kate ever have a kiss like that?  I don't think they did.  They had really fantastic hugs, but other than that?  I think they had a lot of tonsil hockey and sexing, which seemed romantic enough at the time, but has just been pwned by this moment.  I love when first (meaningful) kisses don't become make-out sessions, but are sweet and solid and affirming instead.  Love the simple mirrored gesture of her hand coming up to his face.  Do not love the shoddy editing and poor angle switching, which I noticed even before I went through the scene in slow motion with pausing to transcribe & let off squee every couple of seconds, but I am not actually going to argue such a minor point as that. 

Are those tears in her eyes?  The "Juliet is evil" school of thought, if not eradicated already, is completely dead now, right?  Surely there is no way people can still argue for it after this moment.  And really, I almost didn't have the energy to handle anything beyond that, but then there was crying and hugging and Checklist of Cute spontaneously asploding itself...!! I love them.  I LOVE them.  Make way not only for the best scene of the season, but the official new OTP.    

Other Things
* Jin, scratching doggeh belleh!  Cutest thing ever.  I guess Vincent thought Locke's camp was made too much of crazy and ran away.  Good dog!

* Charles Widmore exploiting the island sounds perfectly acceptable to me.  It's hell on earth anyway; at least publicity might stop some of the RAMPANT DEATH.

* I appreciate the fact that Sawyer was not entirely absent from this episode, even if he did only get one tacked-on scene at the end.

* Ben + freedom = oh, hell no, run for your lives.  Possibly literally.

* Next week: "a face I never expected to see again"!  What?  Is it Libby?  Please say it's Libby; I miss Libby.  SHUT UP, I KNOW IT'S MICHAEL (worst surprise twist ever)  

Stupid CBS website is refusing to load Survivor for me, so I guess that's all.  Plus I should really get back to the studying now. 
Tags: american idol, lost, medium, tv commentary

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