*digs nails into wood* Will...not...erupt...in...spontaneous...r
That was the most boring group song ever. Also, there is some deep irony in the camera tipping sideways when it cut to Kristy Lee, but I refuse to figure out what it is.
Why was Carly in the bottom 3?!?!?! That was the best damn performance of the night. Possibly tied with Amanda's. [This will be ironic later.]
Ford music video: continues to be the best part of results night - I loved this one, even Porky Pig hamming it up as the shouty director, of the contestants recreating a 1950's sci-fi movie. These videos fill me with glee ("Should I Stay or Should I Go" was great, too) and couldn't have been more delighted to see the "making of" addition to the video. I love behind-the-scenes stuff!
Call-in questions: continue to be the most idiotic addition to results night, and yet they brought some good stuff. I mean, it's always excruciatingly painful to hear these weirdos call in and ask asinine questions that make them look completely pathetic...but then again, I liked hearing "would you consider filming a sequel to the kissing scene?" *squeals* OMG I forgot about that! Aw, Paula & Simon, it was so much better when all the UST in the room belonged to them.
Voice: Oh no, this one's your secret kink. There will never be another OTP like Doggett/Scully.
RS: In that case, I certainly took no glee at all in Ryan & Simon's did/didn't argument over his million dollar car, which Ryan's apparently spent
Anyway, at least the callers can blame it on their age (18-21, for the most part)...oh no wait, then there was Mrs. Robinson, 49, who had her fawning focused on Michael. Honestly, woman, have you no self respect?
Kellie Pickler: Blech. Blech blech BLECH! Why is she successful! WHY?! People dumber than dirt are not entertaining, and she's not even pretty. Her red halter dress was pretty, but she is the most amazingly bland and generic piece of trailer trash I've ever seen. The rest of this paragraph devolved into hissing and spitting my general contempt for her, so I'll sum it up in a sentence: she could have the greatest voice in the world - she doesn't - and it wouldn't matter, because she is not worthy of praise and celebrity. Just like...well, let's just not even get me started on Taylor Hicks. *gnashes teeth* I will never understand why he was not instantly laughed off the stage like William Hung.
Idol Gives Back: I sat through the nauseatingly saccharine footage of Fantasia & Elliot visiting Africa for...oh, a good minute before I threw my notebook down and had to leave the room. God knows I love Eliot, but Idol Gives Back is so stupid that I can't even bear it. Besides, MOSQUITO NETS? REALLY? You think you're going to solve the problem of malaria with mosquito nets? Well, I guess it's the best option they've got. If only there was a way to obliterate the problem entirely with some sort of mass chemical spray.
Oh yeah, mentors this season! I am really excited about Dolly Parton. I don't know why, but she fascinates and delights me; has since the first time I really took notice of her - circa 2003, when she sang "Jolene" as a duet with Mindy Smith on The Tonight Show. On the other hand...Mariah Carey? Yuck. Neil Diamond? Famous name, can't think of anything he's done, not enthused. Andrew Lloyd Webber? Heard the name, have no idea why I should care, but am grossed out by the picture.
Final 3: Carly, Kristy Lee, Amanda. I'm gaping at the TV in mind-boggled shock because FUCKING SERIOUSLY, AMERICA, how do you put 75% of my remaining favorites in the bottom 3 at once, meaning I have no hope and am going to lose one of them no matter what? I swear, if there were 4 slots, Jason would be sitting there with them. Why does this show keep doing this to me? I've lost my favorite like five times over.
Going Home: Amanda, which causes me to howl with rage and barely refrain from breaking something. Come ON! Because you see, right this minute I'd actually decided that the best case scenario would be for Kristy Lee to finally get voted out, if only to rescue her from the internet's vicious hatred and constant bitching about how she needs to go. Or rescue myself, really; it hurts seeing everyone attack her so incessantly when she's so sweet and pleasant. *furiously renews aggression towards Ramiele in twisted retaliation*
And then! Amanda! WHAT! Now not only do I lose my lone guarantee of a good, fun performance, I have to hear everyone pile on Kristy Lee another week. Ugh. Is the season over yet?
Hey, casting directors! You really dropped the ball this season, didn't you? That's three people now who've given up and quit. Three people! One season! Sure, two of them went through the whole voting & torch-snuffing route, but honestly, they all quit. This tells me the screening process was not sufficiently thorough. Or maybe they always cast wimpy people like this, but the difference is that they usually don't stick around as long as Chet and Kathy managed to, which would explain why the latter finally got overwhelmed. I actually don't blame her for not realizing how bad it would be. Other people are saying she can't be that much of a fan, but I would think that diligently watching season after season would make you more susceptible to believing it's easier than it really is - like she pointed out, "they show the rain for like 30 seconds" as opposed to the reality of 5 or 6 hours nonstop.
I can fault her creepy clinging on to James, though. "Can I have one more hug?" It's nothing short of embarrassing the way she idolizes these people. Yes, I understand that it's amazing to suddenly be living with and hanging out with people you've followed on TV for a few months; if I were there I'd probably...be too shy to talk to any of them, actually, but she's just SO obsessive and needy that it gives me the creeps. (James, to his credit, was very indulgent and wasn't even judgmental in the interview after she left) And I'm glad she's gone, if only because I don't want to watch her wail and cry anymore.
Natalie continues to be useless and invisible, getting no interviews and automatically raising her hand to sit out the reward challenge again. I have no problem with this.
Eliza continues to kick ass at all the challenges and make me completely love her. Much more so than Ami, whose constant waffling and side switching and general ambiguity are boring bordering on aggravating (I still like her more than, say, Parvati or Jason, but otherwise...no)
The blindfolded money-stone-rolling, listening for verbal cues, was boring. And slightly painful when at one point James turned around and told Kathy, unhelpfully trying to aid Eliza's directions while following behind, to shut up. However, I was highly amused when they had to pick a member from their tribe to go to Exile, and for the first time no one volunteered - instead, all eyes turned to Tracy like they were trying to pick a human sacrifice. Almost felt sorry for her squeaky little "Me??"
Currently trying to block out the mental image of Ami & Amanda standing half naked in the shower with Ozzy. Did not need. I guess Amanda is so used to pixelation by now that she didn't even think twice. Although I did giggle at Cirie's interview, where she was fighting back snickers the whole time, trying to very politely explain that she had no problem with it...she just personally wouldn't peel her top off in mixed company + a camera crew for national TV. Plus "the only thing better was watching Erik drooling from the sidelines."
Seriously, I don't care what anyone says, Erik's fanboying Ozzy is the cutest thing I've seen on Survivor in ages (which does not stop me from laughing when Cirie says "I think if Ozzy were to propose marriage right now...done deal."), and I love the fact that Ozzy is happily reciprocating as a teacher rather than brushing him off like an annoying fly.
Now, as long as Cirie's devil whispering doesn't convince Amanda to turn on her quasi-boyfriend at any point - yes, damn it, for some inexplicable reason I like them, and am even back to thinking that he's cute - we're golden. And no, nothing will allay my hopes for some of the stronger Favorites to pull Erik into their good graces. Possibly at the merger, with Alexis & Eliza. In fact, I think Ozzy/Amanda/Alexis/Erik/Eliza needs to happen like whoa.
The immunity challenge wasn't much better, aside from Ozzy being awesome and riding the puzzle piece "like a boogie board" while completing 4 out of the 5 runs into the water to retrieve bundles. I spent most of the episode hoping and praying that the previews focusing on his potential ouster were misdirection, and they were. He stayed safe (phew!) as did Erik (at least for one more week...), and Smug Lioness Tracy went home. I may have whooped and cheered at that. The balance of people I like vs. hate is slowly tipping back towards my favor...in fact, just eliminate Natalie, Jason, and Parvati, and it'll be perfect.
Lost: 4x8, "Meet Kevin Johnson"
Hey, remember when they said someone was going to die this week, and I started freaking out and worrying that they were going to whack Jin? Let's discuss that.
Seriously, I...could not even believe it at first. Mom - who stopped following this show sometime in season 2 - was all excited about recognizing Alex as "that girl from Malcolm in the Middle!" - and I was half paying attention to her when suddenly her voice got very small and far away as my happy little Lost world exploded before my eyes. My jaw dropped and I just stared at the screen making faint squeaking noises of disbelief. My entire thought process was like, "Ben sabotaged their water bottles? That's weird; why are they only just leaking now? (*ZIP!*) Did he just get hit with some kind of tranquilizer dart? It seemed very fast and almost invisible and - ouch, he's bleeding OH GOD, HE'S NOT GOING TO GET UP! NO! THIS IS ALL SOME KIND OF HORRIBLE DREAM KARRRRLLLLL!!!!!!!"
I just - adda - wibba - Karl! *sobs* I immediately immersed myself in 2 hours of playing Farkle (where my grief apparently manifested itself in five straight losses), trying to numb the horror and forget what I'd just seen. I disbelieve in this reality! I disbelieve in it! I had this whole snarky comment prepared about how Karl was much hotter with floppy hair, and disappointingly looking 10 years old with this new haircut, and suddenly none of it matters because HE'S DEAD. And I don't even have enough room left over to wail about Rousseau being dead TOO. (I am going to cling to the fact that they only said one person was dying, and therefore one of them MUST actually just be injured - probably her, but oh, I wish it were him, and if it's neither I am going to go do some shooting of my own)
Also I am 79% certain this is Ben's fault, and I renew for the 50th time my desire to see him tortured to death in the most brutal manner possible. *snort* I can't believe that I believed for one second that he might care about Karl and/or Rousseau's well-being. Because technically, he didn't lie...Danielle did protect Alex. BY USING HER BODY AS AN UNEXPECTED DEFLECTION TARGET.
And I - I am going to split myself in two right now. Half of me is going to go curl up in the deep, dark pit of despair and cry because he and Alex were so adorable and now even more pieces of her world are ripped away and God, her face just broke me in ways that I don't even think I can bear watching again. The other half is going to talk about the rest of this
So, Michael! You are such an idiot. Why would you confess to your ten-year-old-son that you shot two people basically in cold blood? TEN! My God, I can (almost) understand telling him when he's a little older, though I suspect his reaction still would have been one of horror and disgust and shutting you out, but at least he might be less psychologically scarred. If you really need to tell someone, dude, see a priest. They have these handy things called "confessionals" and your mortal sins are kept between you and them and God. Yes, that's my answer every time a character is suffering from a horrible secret, but that's because it works really well. (says the girl who hasn't gone since the last time they made her, age 14, but she's not burdened with guilt about anything either)
And - wait, the island can make you immortal now? So you're telling me that if someone were to jump Michael, slit his throat, and wait until he bled out, he wouldn't die? Like, no matter how isolated you were, some passer-by would happen upon you and get help? Man, that's annoying. Almost as annoying as Ben the Manipulator, serenely purring into the phone about how he's not the one going around killing innocent people, oh no. "You did that, Michael." Whereupon Michael's face slowly crumples in horror and renewed self-loathing, and I'm sitting there banging my head and going "Cult, cult, cult!" I told you Ben was like a cult leader. He has a horrible way of twisting things in ways that are not precisely false, but only if you look at them in a certain light - and he makes sure that light is all you can see.
Also, I thought it was kind of great that when Tom appeared in the flashback, I gleefully cried out "Hey, it's Big Gay Tom!" and Mom was like "What?! He's gay?!" Me: "Well, they never really explicitly said, but...yeah." And then the next scene he's got a hot guy in his hotel room. ("See? Told you.")
Woot, Libby!! The appearances of Random Ghost Libby (hallucination, ghost, whatever - ghost is cooler) are easily the best way a deceased character has ever come back. I love the idea of Michael flipping out and seeing her everywhere.
I don't care how many times Ben and the other Others swear up and down that Widmore is evil, and I don't care if Widmore was Grandpa Nichols in a former life and therefore evil incarnate...I can't believe he's worse than Ben. [2010 Edit: You should start believing it. Sorry.] I mean, he didn't go killing 324 people for bodies - he just, um, resourcefully salvaged them! That's it! Clearly, I am eventually going to be proven sorely wrong on this count, but hope springs eternal that someday I will be ahead of the game at recognizing when people are less dubious than they appear (i.e. Juliet).
Part of me wants to think Sayid is an awesome badass for twisting Michael's arm behind his back and ratting him out to the captain, but the rest of me can't let go this prickling feeling that this is going to end very badly for him and Desmond. Wait, Sayid's always right, isn't he? Never mind.
Yyyup, that's all I have to say about the episode, even though if not for that horrid ending, I would have thought it was pretty damn interesting. Since the horrid ending ruins everything else, let's resume mourning Karl. This is so unacceptable. OK, I need fluffy fic. Right now. Someone fetch me Alex/Karl fic! Please don't make me finish my ficlet.
*wanders off to weep and be a pitiful wreck*
You know, at this point, it's just a waiting game to see when, where, and how Juliet & Sawyer are going to take their bullets, because that is clearly their inevitable end.
Oh God, I only have 3 days of break left. So much homework to do...haven't even started...as an aside, I'm rather cheerful about the fact that we're less than hour into Boycott LJ Day, and I've already got a post. *snickers evilly*