Accidentally slept through my first class, projects are crashing on my head, this is the first time I've been away from home on it so there was no one to wish me happy birthday or otherwise take notice of it (except from Facebook and several of you very nice people on LJ) , and I still have to finish my take-home exam. I think I will make the day better by amusing myself with a poll. This question has been at the back of my mind for a while now, and while it's by no means a complete list, these seem like popular subjects of debate. So I'm curious: in your experience...
Which pairing has inspired the most rabid fandom division?
Hang on a sec, I think I need to stuff more into this post.
How I Met Your Mother: 3x13, "Ten Sessions"
I was really quite frustrated when Alicia Silverstone quit her role over Britney Spears. Not because I especially like or dislike Miss Silverstone (Mom: "Is she that girl who posed naked for PETA?"), although I have to admit I wasn't all that excited to see a big guest star at first, but because she was replaced by Sarah Chalke, and...no. The girl from Scrubs does not need to be crossing sitcoms and playing a doctor on my show. In fact, it was only in hearing about this that I realize I really, vehemently dislike Elliot! Crazy! I always thought I liked her, or at least found her funny, and probably shipped her with J.D. if that's the way canon was going to go. And then I thought about her, or at least the actress who plays her, popping over to HIMYM, and was promptly consumed by this fireball of rage.
Was it as bad as I thought it would be? No, not exactly, but I would rather have seen Alicia in the role. I was not overly enthused by either the performance or the character, but then again, maybe I was distracted by Britney.
I was similarly horrified by the casting of Britney Spears, just because...everyone needs to forget her. Fame has done nothing but destroyed her - I always thought she would actually have grown into a fairly nice, functional, and possibly not even super-slutty human being if she just hadn't been discovered. I loathed her with every fiber of my being in her heyday, and then she married K-Fed and her life became a long downward spiral, culminating in me just feeling incredibly sorry for her. I still think that her problems would best be solved by getting out of the public eye forever. Ergo, she needed anything BUT a platform to make a "comeback."
Was SHE as bad as I thought she would be? Again, er, not really...I was busy gaping at how unrecognizable she was. In real life she's aged to the point where she looks like she's in her mid 30's. In this role, it was like they'd somehow reached back into 1999 and pulled out "Hit Me..." Britney. She didn't look a day over 19. Oh, and as for her actual role! Um...rather useless; annoying and not funny, and there was really weird juxaposition between her clueless/innocent side that we saw through most of the episode and her "Sex with random strangers, yay!" side that they played up in the previews even though it was only tacked onto the end. I don't know which one was supposed to be her. On the bright side, at least she looked amazing!
ACTUAL EPISODE DISCUSSION: to be performed in
five ten points.
1. Plan 9 from Outer Space! I get giddy with X-Files nostalgia every time someone mentions it. "This movie is so profoundly bad, in such a child-like way, that it hypnotizes my conscious, critical mind and frees up my right brain to make a sociopoetic leap."
2. "'No.' Hmmm. What could she mean when she says 'no'? I don't know. It is totally cryptic." HEE. I don't often say this, but Robin FTW. Best line of the entire episode.
3. Ennnnnh, I am getting weird, awful, horrible, unshakeable Barney/Robin vibes! All the time now! Every time they share the same side of the booth or respond to one another in conversation or LOOK at each other, I am convinced TPTB have this grand secret plan to unveil how Barney and Robin have secretly been sleeping together on the sly for weeks. (well, in my defense, Robin and Ted broke up behind the scenes for like a month) It's making me twitchy and uncomfortable. Make it stop! This is not the natural way of things! DO NOT WANT!
4. Although I did really enjoy the whole fireball at the table, followed by everyone (including Wendy the Waitress) yelling at him and banishing him to the next booth...and I giggled the whole way, and an uncomfortably surprised/hopeful look when inuing the conversation from afar, even when it included an overt reference to the fact that Barney has spent considerable time bugging her to sleep with him. *scrubs brain*
5. I did, at least, like the structure of the episode, covering ten weeks' worth of stuff that had been happening behind the scenes. I like when they condense background developments that way.
6. And despite the considerable time I spent whining about "Stella" (*snort* No, I'm sorry, there is just no way I can believe that woman is named Stella. It's completely ludicrous; doesn't fit her at all. I'd as soon believe she was a LaKisha), I have to admit that the jokes in all the sessions were hysterical, I laughed my way through them. Snappy writing. Ted screaming like a woman might have helped.
7. Was Barney's bet that he could get Ted to grow a mustache actually from a previous episode in the series? Because if so, LONGTERM CALLBACK FOR THE WIN! *Loved* the hysterical laughter from both Stella and Barney.
8. "CAN YOU STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR OTHER PATIENTS?! I'M DYING HERE, WOMAN!" Oh, Marshall. I love you so much. So much.
9. I liked the 2-minute date, mostly just for its surreal choreography. Wasn't nearly as much fun as the rest of the episode, but was entertaining enough the first time around. Actually, I keep going back and forth depending on reviews I read. When people say it was stupid and unrealistic, I want to defend it. However, when people say it was heartwarming and really sweet and/or made the entire episode, I arch a disdainful eyebrow and want to say that it was just bland and barely worthy of commentary (mostly because...it's Ted. Ted is boring. UNLESS YOU THINK HE'S AWFUL, in which case I think he's funny. Whatever is most contrary, basically.)
10. Overall...good episode, I suppose.
American Idol Results: Running Commentary
-I choose to believe that record number of votes came in from people pissed that Amanda got voted out because they didn't do their fair share of number-dialing. Let's pretend they saved Carly this week.
-I was mildly entertained by the group sing until I realized that they were running around acting like goofy, giddy IDIOTS, and then I burst into flames from embarrasment for them. God, why would you make people do that? Why? On the other hand, I really loved Kristy's outfit, as I always do (seriously...I just see her and squeal happily), and then Syesha shocked and impressed me with her standout notes. I just realized why I don't hate her, even though I feel like I should - I keep thinking her voice is going to break out like Melinda, and it's not. She's like Tracie Thoms in Rent. I loved Tracie Thoms.
-Oh, gross, American Idol now has commercials specifically for Idol Gives Back. WORDS CANNOT EXPRESS MY UTTER CONTEMPT AND LOATHING FOR THIS NAUSEATING GAG FEST.
-It pains me that they have this extended segment devoted to pimping iTunes. You know, they'd HAD studio performances for sale before. When they were sold through NORMAL VENUES that did not require you to install or open a separate program for shopping, and which played on Windows Media Player. I bought one last year (Jordin Sparks, "Hey Baby," but it disappeared when my MP3 player died and I cannot find it on either of my computers. Sadface.). iTunes is horrible, and even now that I have a shiny .m4a converter program that might clean up the tracks, and I do in fact have iTunes installed for purposes of playing a few of season 4 CSI: Miami episodes I caved and bought that year, it's the principle of the thing.
-That being said, I'm so in love with Carly Smithson's version of "Blackbird" that I am sorely, sorely tempted to break all my rules and buy it. I've become completely obsessed with that song over the past week; I already have the Across the Universe track and her live performance of it, but I think her studio version would be the greatest of all. Also, in utter shame, I must confess that as I listened to some random clip of David Archuleta doing vocals, I thought "Hey, this song is pretty great; when did he sing this?! I think I want it!" and it turned out to be...the one from last night. *facepalm*
-I swear, I meant to pay attention tonight, but then suddenly I lost track and when I looked up Carly was saying "I'm not pregnant" and Paula was claiming Simon wore pantyhose. Am I on an acid trip? Hey, maybe there's something to be said for not paying attention...random stuff seems funnier.
-Flying tackle hug! LOL. Was that just a hug of convenience because they were the only ones on the couches, or is Carly friends with Brooke? Because if she's friends with Brooke, I'll like Brooke better. I'm going to pretend they are, despite being total opposites. They can be like ponies - Sunshine and Darkling.
V: You know, I think you are on an acid trip.
RS: And here the dentist told me all the acid in diet soda was bad!
-Oh, what a cute music videos - contestant singing from images in magazines, CD covers, the backs of shirts, etc. I feel like I'm strolling through the wizarding world or something.
-It amuses me muchly that Syesha is trampling over Ryan's pre-written commentary by flashing a beaming smile as she sits on the Stools of Potential Elimination Doom.
-The audience questions were so horrible tonight that I had to actually flip channels back and forth to escape some of the mortification. Why would you ask someone if they're single? You don't know these people! Seeing them on TV does not equal knowing them! And what the hell was that second question, aimed at poor Archuleta? Even setting aside his gritted teeth (you could just see him thinking I've already explained this three times!), it basically amounted to "WHY DID YOU CHOOSE A SONG I'VE NEVER HEARD OF?! OMG HOW DARE YOU STOOPID!"
-Ryan? What was that flirting question you avoided in #7? Was it about you and Simon? I want this question asked! Anyway. The question of "how can I get Ryan's job?" pained me so I had to channel switch and stay there for a few minutes. I think I might have missed a Rymon exchange in there.
-On the bright side, I think that was genuine laughter in response to Simon's explanation of whether or not he thinks he's the most attractive person on the show. "It's not what I say, it's what other people say."
-Kimberly Locke! She was my favorite in season 2, but then she disappeared upon elimination and I never saw or heard from her until just now. Ooh, I love these clips from season 2 (a/k/a "the last one I watched religiously until season 6"). Simon wasn't nearly so cyncial. And eeeh! Clay Aiken, in the (disappointingly temporary) cute stage from between his Ugly Toad and Creepy Diva stages!
-Didn't love her song. Didn't hate it, but was bored, and it makes me think that maybe even back in season 2 I only loved people for their looks and personality. However, speaking of looks, that 19th century look of boobs stuffed into a dress with a tight bodice? Fail. Anyway, strapless dresses don't look good on anyone, but they look worse on people with BMIs above 22.
-I still hate Idol Gives Back. I loathe it with a fiery burning passion and want it to burn. Stop promoting it before my hatred extends to the people supposedly being helped by it, and I start despising homeless children and dying Africans. I AM GETTING REALLY DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THAT POINT.
-I am not okay with Jason Castro being in the bottom 3. It's not fair! I never actually told anyone that as of last week he was officially my second favorite! That should render the jinx null and void! Thank God he didn't get voted out. I wasn't especially happy about Syesha, either, so again, thank God I had Chikezie to deflect my ill thoughts towards. I wasn't even moved when he kissed her cheek, and normally I am all over gestures of affection like that.
-I spent about a solid minute flailing in fear, and almost twitched out of my chair in sick anticipation when Ryan said "Syesha..." you are going home, oh God, not fair, not fair, not fair, I like her, he sucks, go away --
"You are safe."
"YEE-HAW!" I quite seriously yelled that out loud in disbelief and delight. Mom'll be disappointed, but I am ECSTATIC. I wanted him gone at Top 20. So Kristy Lee is safe, and Syesha's safe, and Snorefest Chikezie is outta here, and I really think that next week might be glorious! Now we just have to rub out Ramiele and Porky Pig*, and I can stop suffering when I watch this show. Or at least suffer significantly less.
* = what is this new "OMG he is totally going to win it all" wave going around?! Damn you for endorsing that idea, Simon! That would be nothing short of utterly horrible! An unconscionable atrocity! Such a freak. I thought Taylor Hicks represented the lowest possible level this show could stoop to - hell, I am still mind-boggled, TAYLOR HICKS?! - but I think David Cook might give him a run for his money. I am just, I am going to have to cling to the small shred of optimistic hope in the memory that freaky-looking Chris Daughtry didn't win either.