September 4th, 2008


Zuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuleikha Robinson!!

Normally, when Lost is all "here, have lots of casting spoilers!", I am all "dude, stop reporting these things, for they are stupid and I inevitably DON'T CARE."  But then I saw today in my delightful Ausiello feed that an "Amsterdam alum" had been cast, and my ears perked up, followed by WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, ZULEIKHA ROBINSON!  Despite my long tradition of largely not caring about actors/actresses beyond their specific role in a favorite television show, of mine there are a handful who just fill my heart with delight in every project.  She is one of those actresses.  So when favorite actress meets a favorite show, FIREWORKS HAPPEN.

Haha, and I don't even know what role she's playing.  I've been so full of joy I haven't clicked on the link yet.  Well, now I have.
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Yep, that was worth an entire post.


Why does this movie exist?

Like, really, it was so incomprehensibly bad in so many ways that I, I, I can't even wrap my head around it.  Miserable Class of Death II, at least when I had to watch a dry international/political movie for your predecessor, "Rendition" gave me the purtyness of Jake Gyllenhaal and Reese Witherspoon, even if not together.  WHAT DID YOU GIVE ME, BABEL?  Masturbating/incestuous preteens, a naked Japanese schoolgirl, small children watching a chicken get killed for a Mexican wedding feast? 

How am I supposed to write a paper on this for Monday?  It really better be a reaction paper, because I am going to have to get sarcastic and angry, with absolutely no chance of BSing politically correct stuff about how unfairly the poor Moroccan rural dwellers were treated, or the U.S. blows suspected acts of terrorism out of proportion, or how our entry/exit points with Mexico are cruel and unfair.  The best I can do is make my scathing disgust sound like a sharply written analysis of why the film fails at achieving this PC goal.

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Conclusion: I...honestly do not know how this film ever tempted anyone to go see it.  I think I even remember hearing it got all kinds of awards, but I don't want to look this fact up because I would just, I would just have to rock and sob in a corner if that were true.  Even if you didn't count all my issues with it, the film is just so long, dull, with so many scenes that make you go "Why is this here?", and doesn't even weave a compelling 'here's how everything ties together!' story, that I cannot conceive of how anyone could think it was worth their time.

Unless you like Brad Pitt crying.  Even grimy and bloody, he's kind of pretty when he cries.

EDIT: LOL LOL LOL, look what I found!  Via topfive_reviews :
I imagine screenwriter Guillermo Arriaga simply came up with a bunch of characters that spoke different languages, then said to himself "what's the absolute worst decision my character could make here?" and the rest wrote itself.