May 22nd, 2012

Rachel

Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me

Yesterday was a Triple Dog Day when I went out walking by myself. First a pair of Labradors came flying out of an unfenced yard and swamped me with demands for affection on the sidewalk until their owner came to fetch them. Nothing says happiness like two robust dogs with fiercely wagging tails, especially if the mini-sized one is springing delightedly up on its hind legs in a desperate attempt to be nearer to your face. Plus once I got to the park, I passed close enough to where a kid had a Golden Retriever puppy on a leash that said puppy veered over to me and I got to play with it for a minute.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT: there is no dog on earth that is softer than a baby Golden. It is a sheer puffball of the softest, fluffiest cotton you have ever felt, magnified by ten. 
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How I Met Your Mother: The Magician's Code
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Glee, 3x20, "Props"
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One hour to decide if I'm going to buckle down on "Nationals" or watch Glee live. I don't know if you know this, but I am literally not emotionally prepared to deal with their graduation. I have spiraled into a tiny mini-depression this week that consists of reading my senior year journals and yearbook signatures and crying my eyes out over endings. Watching everybody disband, on the cusp of flying away, was one of the worst events of my life and reliving the situation is, frankly, traumatic.
Rachel

For a moment, a band of thieves in ripped up jeans got to rule the world

Only 90% finished; I'll edit, stuff in more fic recs and fill in a few gaps later. The important thing is that this is officially done and out less than 10 minutes before I fling myself into the abyss of despair that is the finale.

Glee, 3x21, "Nationals"
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Meanwhile, you should have this fabulously definitive guide to All Your Should-Be Headcanon:
Being Kurt Hummel - flaming_muse
Kurt has always known he's different. It's a journey to figure out what it means to be himself.

It is NC-17 and there are definitely parts that I have to dart away from, but oh, it gets everything exactly right. His childhood. The realization that he's gay, and the simultaneous need to hide it. The beginnings of Finn, of harassment by Karofsky. Those first forays into porn, making those horrible conversations in "Sexy" worth it just to get the brilliant description of his reactions here. Through meeting Blaine, from friendship to that awesome-for-me Rachel period and out the other, brighter side as it expands on everything we've seen in their relationship as well as the summer we didn't. And on and on and on, all the way up to the present day before shooting beyond for a glimpse into the future that I will believe in come hell or high water.

Memo to 2011 Self: This is so good I will wager you a Jackson that even you would come out of this liking Kurt. Is there a better endorsement?
Mt. Fandom

This is my spamming post.

What is a Tumblr, I don't have a Tumblr whose express purpose is to obsess over Kurt/Blaine. I'm going to post those feelings (and maybe some others) here.

[behind spoiler text]
8:09 PM: ...I'm sorry, I seem to recall being told that Kurt and Blaine would "zig and then zag." I don't want to zag from this direction! I just heard Kurt polish off the goddamn crowning jewel on top of his two or three eternity-promises so far. There had better be a second zig coming, because I expressly do not want to do anything different from what we just got. If you screw this up, so help me...rip my heart out of my chest with midsummer spoilers, if you must, but let me end happy.
[edit: actually, no, don't do that. I just opened up a giant target on my heart, didn't I.]

8:19: Also I have been pretty much whimpering nonstop throughout all of the goodbye music so far. I am still far away from the tear point, preferring to go with "tense knots of anxiety and general unhappiness," but my heart is hollowing itself out in preparation to hold the flood.

8:35: And here I hoped we could magically get through one episode without something making me want to hurl. Puck/Quinn just ended that. Roz is not helping. P.S. No sign of a second zig yet. On verge of chewing on ponytail to relieve stress.

8:45: Oh. That's a new zig. How is it that I still HATE YOU. (oh my god, when this sinks in, my head is actually going to explode and rain little pieces of RS-resembling confetti everywhere. It is going to be ugly. My ability to hold it at bay is only going to last so long, say, like until the end of the episode).

8:52: Stop making me ship Finchel. Frick. Every time, there is only one way I love them. But I would rather spend eternity hating them than have to feel like thiiiiiiiiiis. (come on, season 4. Rectify this mistake and bring me back to hatred. Also, please continue living out my Kurt/Blaine fears because there's no way you can do this storyline twice in five minutes, right?)

8:56: Will/Rachel. Yes. Let us distract me with that.

8:57: So, just to be clear, we're going to leave Kurt/Blaine on that note from the beginning and never check in with them again? Because I'm perfectly dandy with leaving on that note, but also it seems kind of rude not to give me a hug before we go. Also, fanfic has a lot of work to do to fix the gaps, which is doubly hard considering that whatever magical ideas they come up will likely get jossed in the fall.

8:58: Irony of everyone bitching that stupid Finn/Rachel were going to be the only couple not separated by graduation: high.

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8:59: *emotional collapse* But oh, that was good.

9:16: And on bright side, I am much less upset than I thought I would be, so as long as you let me see the important kids after high school, I will be okay. Fundamental difference between Glee's graduation and mine: they don't all disappear forever.