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CSI: Miami, "To Kill a Predator"

HORATIO, WE NEED TO TALK.  RIGHT NOW.  

Ahem.  What was that?!  Sir, the man was not only not resisting arrest, he was like the wimpiest and most non-evil bad guy you've ever cornered.  Oh, and hey, do you remember that time when Stetler hauled your ass in on suspicion of police brutality, and you almost got in very hot water over it except that Alexx proved he dislocated his own shoulder?  Good luck getting Alexx to prove this guy beat himself up.  And, I'm sorry, can we get some perspective here?  You've seen people who kill children, people who rape & torture women, people who go on killing sprees for fun.  You've seen a guy who SHOT YOUR WIFE.  (Oh wait, yeah, you stabbed him.  Never mind.  Still, even then you could kind of claim self-defense, in the heat of the moment)  But this is when you lose your cool?  Over a guy buying alcohol for a 14-year-old?  Even if was planning to sleep with her, which is clearly wrong and illegal, it's only rape in the legal statuatory sense, and you can label him a pedophile, but you cannot ever convince me that it's as bad to have sex with a girl who's gone through puberty and asking for it* as it is with like, a 6-year-old.  Anyway.  What I'm saying is, THIS IS THE DUMBEST DAMN THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE.
(* = on that note, I realize she's too young and stupid to know how much this will mess her up emotionally, but - play with fire, get burned; I have very little sympathy for teens who want to be All Grown Up.  Embrace your childhood!  Goodness knows I've stalled at a mental age of 12).

Get over here, writers, I'm not letting you off the hook either.  Why?  Why would you do that?  You see, I could believe it if it in some way made sense.  If it really were one of the worst, most despicable, unapologetic criminals we've ever seen, I could understand it and maybe even get behind and/or rationalize it.  But THAT GUY?  This is just...do you want me to hate Horatio?  Do you honestly want that?  Because I do.  You win.  I hate him; I hate him just as much as any anti-Caruso viewer.  I'm going to finish out this season, and then so help me God, I am sorely tempted to drop the show entirely next year.  I totally, totally understand why Khandi Alexander left, and so even though I'm usually devastated and/or bitter when actors do that, for her, I have no qualms or hard feelings at all.

Yep, I think that's about all I have to say about this episode.  Although I would like to register my shock and delight that Horatio appears to have gone shopping and bought a new slate-blue checkered shirt, which is second only to my shock and delight that he is continuing to do lab work.  It's such a strange sight that it hypnotizes me until I'm tricked into watching the evidence-processing montages.  Do you know how long it's been since I watched an evidence-processing montage?  Wow.

[Edit: Oh no wait!  I did a little squee-dance for Eric's reaction to various events, most particularly the line "I've got nieces."  Convenient/throwaway line or not, Uncle Eric is now a very happy fixture in my mind.]

 

 

Comments

lieueitak
May. 20th, 2008 03:30 am (UTC)
Horatio is no longer a character on the show. He's become little more than a series of actions, none of which really flow together. On the one hand, the writers seem to be giving into the parody of one liners and raspy talk and sunglasses. And on the other hand, we're still supposed to believe that Horatio is bad ass. The end result is that H has become something that's completely unbelievable and... pretty repulsive in a way.

people who go on killing sprees for fun Yeah, but if he got pissed at those people, then he'd have to, like, stop killing hoards of people at a time himself. ;) Then again, that would require some perspective, and he clearly doesn't have that.

you can label him a pedophile Technically, I'm pretty sure there's a different term for someone sexually attracted to teenagers. He'd either be a ephebophile or a hebephile. But I'd agree that neither of those things are as bad as pedophilia. I mean... I guess I could understand if he was feeling all fatherly in the moment. But that would require H to have feelings, and, like, aside from wanting vengeance, does he feel anything these days?

Good for Khandi for getting out while she still can. :)
rainbowstevie
May. 20th, 2008 04:37 pm (UTC)
I endorse your comment 100%.
1. Horatio is no longer a character on the show.
*smacks forehead* How silly of me to forget! That explains everything, really. You know, "repulsive" is a good word for it. This saddens me.

2. Also true. I keep meaning to go back through the series and figure out exactly how many people he's killed in total, because I *really* want to know. Know anyone with lots of spare time on their hands?

3. Yeah, I thought there was a different term or two, but they were just so adamant about repeating that word "pedophile" as often as possible that I went with it. And no, I'm pretty sure he's not capable of feelings anymore either. No matter how much I want to pretend Madison somehow factored into this reaction.
lieueitak
May. 20th, 2008 11:45 pm (UTC)
Re: I endorse your comment 100%.
Know anyone with lots of spare time on their hands? That sounds like a challenge. :-P And I gladly accept, because I really would like to know just how many people he's axed.

Madison as a cause? Well, in order for that to be true, a). Madison would have to be alive and b). Horatio would have to think about her, which, in his present state, is doubtful. :(
rainbowstevie
May. 21st, 2008 08:26 pm (UTC)
Re: I endorse your comment 100%.
*shifty eyes* Er, yes. Yes, that was totally a challenge. Now GO FORTH AND CONQUER! (conquer the, um, knowledge. Or something. It sounded good at first.)

On Madison:
a) Totally alive. Possibly in Canada, according to my new personal fanon, but totally alive. Also possibly/probably for the purposes of having her arrested as a hooker and/or meth user the next time the show needs drama, whereupon she will magically turn 18.
b) But yeah, I'll give you this one. Sigh.
lieueitak
May. 22nd, 2008 01:48 am (UTC)
Re: I endorse your comment 100%.
I'm gonna guess I'll be conquering that little voice inside of me that says "be a productive member of society." ;)

I like your idea about Madison though. I'm guessing she'll be randomly aged to 20-24 (cause that really makes absolutely no sense, thus making it completely likely). She'll totally be a prostitute, and Horatio will murder her pimp and give her a moral lecture about hooking. Naturally, if it's a season finale/premiere/two part episode, Madison will be arrested for the murder, etc. Hehehehe.

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