Stalker stories always intrigue me, so I loved Fat Pam. Whom I have to say is not undeserving of the name, SWEETS, and whoever else said she "wasn't that fat." Not morbidly obese, no, but also significantly plus size. Doesn't make Tommy any less of a jerk for assigning her that moniker, but if you're going to repeatedly insist on saying things that aren't true, I'm going to have to take issue with them. From the way they were talking, I was expecting to see a woman who was maybe a size 8, like someone who not toned enough for bikini modeling but still attractive. Was not the case. Annoyed me.
You know what else annoyed me? THAT GODDAMN ALARM! WHY WOULD YOU HAVE THAT IN YOUR EPISODE FOR ANY REASON? Look, I so violently loathe commercials that have someone waking up to the sound of their alarm clock (because God knows, nobody ever wakes up to the radio or a CD), that I promptly write down the product/company/etc. to make sure I never purchase it. Having that persistent chirping in the background drove me so insane that I ended up skipping every scene with the neighbor and waiting for the recap to tell me what happened. And it didn't even make SENSE - if an alarm won't quit (which...every alarm clock I've ever had turns itself off eventually), especially after you've gone so far as to kill the guy, why would you not just break into the apartment and go shut it off/unplug/steal & smash the thing to bits yourself?
And really, couldn't the guy just find somewhere else to go? A friend/relative's house? Move? Or even rent studio space? I certainly sympathize with being driven crazy by neighbors' noise, as I had nights during the school year where I'd be tearing my hair out and on the verge of tears trying to find a computer somewhere people weren't talking/eating/chewing gum, but there have to be plenty of solutions that don't involve murder, or even an attack that can accidentally escalate to murder.
All the non-Idol singing annoyed me, too. Zack was irrelevant and Brennan was just stupid. I think I actually screamed at the horribly embarrassing stupidity of believing INTO ADULTHOOD that she could sing as well as Cyndi Lauper, and when she actually got on stage...according to the internet, she was fantastic, but all I heard was bad karaoke. I couldn't understand why everyone was smiling while she made such a huge fool out of herself. Angry angry angry.
...I honestly don't remember hating the episode as much as the above paragraphs imply. Ace Young = 1000 points of win, no matter how brief his actual appearance, and I'm a happy panda now that I have an MP3 of the song performance (albeit only a clip from the episode itself). I was interested in the mystery, loved the evolution of Pam's steady obsession with Booth, and then there was the ending that seemed like it came out of nowhere (I'm rather curious whether this was *always* the ending they had in mind, since I thought the summary description of this ep was out before the strike) and was amazing.
I knew things were going to end badly the first time Booth started talking to Pam, but I'd let myself forget that and/or was too busy being mesmerized with how much I hated Bones singing, so when she pulled out the gun and fired, it was "HOLY HELL WHAT THE -- ?!?!?!" Between Booth taking the bullet to protect her, Bones grabbing his gun and handily killing Pam with one shot, the subsequent desperate attempts to staunch blood flow and begging him to stay with her...wow. And of course, I was even more thrilled with the chaos going on in the background, with Hodgins being hotly authoritative, not to mention the nice gesture of keeping Angela behind, one arm in front of her.
I have a confession to make. Just now, I was trying to determine once and for all whether the spoilers for this episode had first hit pre- or post- strike, and I happened on a post that said "possible spoilers for the finale." It had been posted before the finale had aired, so I figured it'd be safe to read. Only not so much, because after reading it, I was able to connect what proudofthefish
had said about "from a comment you made above, I'm pretty sure you'll be okay with the finale"...and now I'm like 93% sure I know why everyone freaked out.
Which is why I decided to start catching myself up on House instead.
Really? Do you REALLY have to bring all my strike-related anger back to me? Why the fuck do people on strike have a legal right to "hold you up for 15 seconds"? Not that I've ever understood why OMG CROSSING PICKET LINES!! is so awful in the first place, seeing as they're standing out there whining while you are, um, doing stuff and ignoring them (as you should with all whiny children being obnoxious to get attention), but that seems especially asinine. Please tell me it's a fictional truth made up for purposes of this episode. On that note, after that bitch's smirky tone of voice while saying so, I would have "accidentally" bashed her shins with my cart a lot harder.
By the way, tongue-in-cheek meta? Not cool in the slightest. WE ARE PERFECTLY AWARE YOU WERE ON STRIKE FOR THREE MONTHS, THANK YOU. It caused much annoyance and passionate hatred/increased disdain & lack of appreciation for television writers 'round these parts. Speaking of that long strike and subsequent unexpected hiatus period, while this show was away, I had forgotten how much I hated Kutner and Taub. The fury came revving right back up, joined by hatred of the jokes about 13 liking the ladies.
There was good stuff, though. Like CHASE! BOWLING! Guy date with House! Mentions of Cameron, who is so much nicer when not on screen! Unbearably cute. Chase keeps getting exponentially hotter, too, never more so than while later fighting with Cameron. Partly because Chaseron might be out of my face, but I'd still have no problem with it ending, and partly because, well, you know how I feel about attractive men and anger. Still, I'd like to know how they resolved that bit of tension between themselves. Someone fetch me post-ep fic.
Wilson is still ridiculously cute; the divorced-couple-like fight over him between House & Cutthroat Bitch was the other best part of the episode. CTB's existence still makes me various levels of angry, bored, and nauseated, though, so let me refer you to a comment I made while watching: "Hey, could Amber possibly die by the end of the season? I feel this would be a good solution to all my problems." *holds up hands* I'm not saying another word.
Other times, I was just transfixed with annoyance or rage and/or horror at Wilson/CTB, such as the time I yelped "EW! DID NOT NEED!" and woke my dog up. You see, somehow I didn't make the connection that them going mattress-shopping was going to mean we'd eventually have to see their purchase being tested out (I know, right? My optimistic naivete knows no bounds), so when they were suddenly bursting through the bedroom door, making out like there was no tomorrow, it was unpleasant. Was twice as unpleasant after he got her shirt open; thankfully that was as far as they got before fighting happened.
I'm so ticked off that the first Hot Wilson Bedroom Scene involves most reprehensible female ever to appear on this show - she makes Cameron look fantastic by comparison. The fact that she does things like deliver verbal smackdowns when he looks bewildered at the idea that she doesn't want to be taken care of pretty much explains why I loathe the idea of them together (also, I thought his ex-wives dumped him; since when was there resenting on his behalf? Stop taking away my favorite character, show). And with that, I proceeded to rewatch the scene on mute and with my hand firmly blocking out CTB's face, because objectively, this was very, very nice.
And why did they have to be so perfectly cuddly at the end?! STOP WASTING CUTE SCENES ON CUTTHROAT BITCH! Because obviously, even if he gets another girlfriend, the general format of these scenes will never be repeated. And right now they pretty much follow my Checklist of Cute to the letter, which is frustrating because the fact that CTB is in them makes me want to vomit instead of going into a squee-induced coma. And normally, the Checklist of Cute can override ships I don't like, so this is really, really bad.
In a related note, I've always wanted to try a waterbed. Not permanently, what with the constant fear of it breaking, but if there's one at a hotel or a resort or something, I want to test it out. The concept intrigues me.
On the bright side, Cuddy staying with House
As for the rest of the plot, the weird memories/hallucinations actually ended up being fantastic. Loved the details/lack thereof, like faceless people or bottles marked "liquor." But nothing was greater than hypnotism, and not just because Chase got a chance to show off/be awesome/verbally smack down Wilson. I loved that he was able to remember things in a dreamlike state yet simultaneously interact with what people were really saying to him. All very good.
I really wish someone had mentioned that there would be clues sprinkled throughout the episode. If there are normally clues, I haven't noticed, but these were of the kind that if you knew you should be looking for stuff, you might actually have put them together. I expected him to remember some dying old man or something; I didn't know it was going to be a character we knew by name! Maybe I would have paid more attention to the fact that there was a Jane Doe.
Speaking of which, WOW! SHOW, YOU WENT THERE! I think...I love you. I probably should have gotten the clue when he noticed the insect in her necklace, but because I wasn't looking for clues, it did little more than flit across the back of my mind and then get lost until she said "What is my necklace made out of?" (also possibly because I forgot her name was Amber, what with refusing to call her anything except Cutthroat Bitch all the time).
But then it was all "OH! OH MY GOD!! Suddenly my fuzzy memory remembers something happening to Amber, which fits "Wilson's Heart," which fits the freaked-out cut text about the finale from Amber-loving people on my flist!" I may also have waited another second for this good news to sink in, and then gone "woohoo!" and danced around and such. Die! Die! Please die! You can totally do it, show, it's the finale and she's only a recurring character! DO IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.
I wasn't really prepared to actually be a little heartbroken at the sight of her getting tossed all around the bus, scraped up and bleeding, WITH A POLE STICKING CLEAR THROUGH HER THIGH. I also wasn't prepared to actually pity Wilson, but damned if that man's face as he fights the knowledge doesn't get to me every time. Plus after everyone flailed about it, I had to go dig up the promo for the finale, and...holy crap, does it ever look good. I NEED TO SEE THIS CONCLUSION RIGHT NOW.
Oh, and I should probably toss in how much I loved the resuscitation scene, between Cuddy giving mouth to mouth (only hot in TV-land, but I'll still take it) and Wilson banging on his chest and everyone standing around looking numb or, in Cameron's case, teary. I especially liked the one background extra you could see clearly, who looked like he was in high school.
All righty then. I'm off to go recreate the FOX portion of Monday, May 19th. Is finale time now, for real.