So apparently we're not going to have a repeat of Moonlight's guns-a-blazin' speed as I fling myself into a new fandom, and instead are going to work through this series with proper reviews (more or less) after all. In an expedited way. *puts on announcer voice* More Pushing Daisies starts - right now!
-Oh. Was sorta hoping not to see Young Ned ever again. Young Ned's kinda ugly. Is truth sad and universal, when it comes to television, that hot men/pretty women never have attractive child counterparts. Not sure why.
-Ahhh! *points* They have twin beds in the same room! Magic! "Unusual, maybe, in a quaint way. Like dessert spoons." Or 1950's TV? Heh. And I, I, I, I am experiencing a pleasure overload from the circumstances they have just granted me in a canon way: all the good things about bedroom scenes (aside from spooning) without the sex. This delights me!
-Hah! I love them cooking in the same kitchen while deftly maneuvering around each other.
-EMERSON KNITS. LOLCAKES. And GUN COZIES!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *is dying of laughter*
-MORGUE GUY. You guys, Morgue Guy lights up my soul with his "I am not amused" grumpy face. I don't even know his name yet, but I may call him Morgue Guy forever.
-Random: was there a point to making the grieving model bulimic, or was that just throw in there for kicks and giggles?
-I am less fond of the phrase "The facts were these." So far, this is the only non-Olive part of the whimsical fantasy I can see myself getting real tired of, real quick. Narration, fine; excessive repetition of words, not.
-Speakin of Olive, oh my God, I cannot tell you how much I hate it when characters sing. Keep piling those unlikable traits on the unlikable character, show! I will only begrudgingly admit that her scenes with Digby are still pretty cute, but that's like 80% because of the dog. And, OK, her jealous imagination got me a bubble-bath scene, so I guess she's slightly useful at times. Useful, not likable. Like a turkey.
Olive Snook, welcome to the Captain Jack Harkness circle of character hate.
-And oh, oh, Digby all curled up in her bed with his head on the pillow!! I have tried and tried to get my dog to do this, but if I'm on the bed too, she insists on curling up at one of the bottom corners. (Which is probably what most people would prefer, but I like cuddling up against her back, and she just consistently refuses. Stubborn beast).
-Emerson still wins at life for being my sounding board. "He digs her in a way he definitely doesn't dig you." Plain language: it's so refreshing. Even when it still doesn't do any good.
-Speaking of the plot, which I haven't done yet, it was kinda sucky. But only in a way you realize in retrospect, as you realize you never want to watch it again. In the moment, I was pretty pleased with the tasering and the insanely creepy crash-dummy killer and also, I don't believe this show will ever again produce a sight as terrifying as that of the corpses hanging like marionettes.
-And of course, in a roundabout way, the plot did provide an excuse for Ned & Chuck's first post-childhood kiss. Awwwww, I'm all melted. And now I'm put back together and rolling with hilarity at Emerson calmly but forcibly separating them in order to save all their lives.
-Oh, and plastic window so Chuck can sit in front! Aww. Complete with a little rubber-glove attachment for
Chuck: I have so many questions, my mind wanders...
Ned: You need to feed it warm milk and a turkey sandwich, let it curl up in a sunny spot and take a nap.
(My irritation at the idiotic phrasing of Chuck's sentence, and the faintly idiotic phrasing of Ned's, is completely lost on how incredibly sexy his voice has just become)
-OK, I lied. Two things about the show's whimsical fantasy are beginning to wear on me: "The facts were this," and the theme motif. It's painfully cheesy, and not in a fun way.
-The Saran Wrap Kiss is still one of the greatest moments I have ever seen. In fact, it's even greater now that I've spent two whole episodes waiting for it. In answer to that question I had after the pie-lette, about which type of UST couple was preferable, I am totally going with "this one." They have an almost alarming number of ways to get around that no-touching rule, to the point where I think they might actually be easier to ship than Doctor/Rose. How did that happen?
Although, the more I rewind it the more I keep thinking "OMG, do you know how easily that stuff rips?!" and it's spoiling it slightly, as if my daydreams could somehow cause Chuck to keel over dead.
Also, regardless of any silly employees watching, you probably...should not be making out where customers can see you.
Meh. Am back to rewinding kiss incessantly and savoring every second.
-I kind of have to say that, perhaps because I am so easily won over by Cute Moments and/or am blinded by my shippy love, I'm not really seeing the moral quandry involved with Chuck's return-to-life. I mean, someone's dead either way. And all lives are not equal, so really we're much better off with her alive and the funeral home director dead than we were before. If he'd killed Emerson, then we might have reason to feel bad. Luckily they wrapped that up right quick.
-That's also why I'm having trouble seeing the fact that he "kind of killed her dad" as the Great Big Drama Question of season-the-first. I mean, it's a million times more preferable than something like "And you must be the woman that's been screwing my husband," and I don't mind watching it unfold, but -- as we're reminded again this week, he didn't know the rules of his gift. And he was 9. He was a little boy who wanted his mother back.
On the one hand, I can see how this self-imposed guilt could manifest itself over the years, and I can see how it might be a bit gutting for Chuck to find out, but if you stop to think about it for a second, there's really not a lot of blame to assign here unless you want to.
-The thought of setting Olive on fire makes me happy. For a lot longer than a second, and I don't feel bad afterwards.
-Still no particular feelings about the aunts, but I think that I like the dark-haired one (Vivian?) more than the one with the eye patch. Not a fan of crabby old ladies.
-I noticed a stuffed peacock in the background of this episode, and I was going to comment on how cool and eccentric and museum-y - more so - it made the house look. Having seen the next episode, I guess it's safe to say that was a previous pet? I'm just kind of pleased that I noticed it.
-I'm like, this close to calling Emerson a great big velvet teddy bear. Who happens to be exceptionally grumpy all the time. Which is why he's cute! And also hysterical, as I fell out of my chair laughing at his "Oh, helllll no!" and running out of the building to avoid becoming proximity-dead.
-And oh, my God, "Future Me is going 'I told you so' up one side and down the other, but Now Me is just gonna sit back and watch." followed by "Future Me is here now."
-Aw, ending. Ned is very cute, sitting in a bathrobe, surrounded by presents across from Chuck and with Digby curled up on a chair. If we could just eventually find a way-around the no-touching rule (Mick St. John cured vampirism! Kind of!), can they be like this for always?
-Someone important on this show must love animals. That someone is my new favorite person. Between beautiful (I cannot get over how gorgeous he is every time I see him), heroic, unnaturally intelligent Digby - good use of otherwise-irritating flashbacks this week, BTW - and Pidge the Pigeon/the aunts' general love of birds, and various other animals who've popped up so far, I must give a huge thumbs-up.
-Bees do not count as animals in my world, however, and I presently diving under the desk in terror at the mere thought of giant swarm living on a city rooftop. THERE IS PROBABLY A GOOD REASON BEE-KEEPING IS ILLEGAL IN THE CITY. It's not an arbitrary rule like not being allowed to own more than 3 cats/dogs combined. Also, I find my eye twitching slightly at the idea of Chuck willingly surrounding herself with such hideous creatures. You lose three points in my esteemed favor!
Ned will make them up for you, as I find myself growing dizzy and light-headed at the utterly adorable, shy grin on his face as he brings Chuck up to show them off. He's all proud of himself, happy to do something that makes her happy. Sometimes I think that maybe Lee Pace's audition didn't even require any words, maybe he just had to test out a variety of smiles and infatuated looks.
-Poor Emerson, now even Morgue Guy is cutting into his supplemental paycheck. Better not let Olive find out the dealio.
-This week's moment of non-Olive-hating is brought to you by her cooing over the dead/alive pigeon, bringing it in for wing repair, etc. We now return you to your reguarly scheduled programming. SHUT UP WITH THE SINGING. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP HAAAATE. Is wasting valuable seconds, which I appreciated this morning when I was trying to cram the episode into the exactly 45 minutes I had before I left for work, but in retrospect am most displeased with.
-Insecure!Ned is too cute for words. As much as the jealousy amuses me, its bite is tempered a bit by the fact that he looks like someone just ripped his heart out when Chuck sweetly refuses to follow him out.
(Though I must say, Action!Ned is kind of awesome too)
-I love Chuck pretending Plane Hijacker's hand is Ned's. Mostly because we get to go inside her head and see what she sees, and I see icon moments. Oh yes, I can live with the no-touching rule just fine as long as I get visual imagery to the contrary. My brain can do the rest.
Chuck: Are you mad at me?
Ned: Why would I be mad?
Chuck: For holding someone's hand that wasn't yours.
Emerson: Seriously. In a prison graveyard. That's where y'all are gonna have this conversation?
I: *am laughing too hard to breathe* I hereby nominate Third Wheel Emerson as the Fourth-Awesomest Character of the Year. His backseat reactions were the best part of the Ned & Chuck's discussion about jealousy in the car, too. (well, that and Ned's panicky yelp of "We've got other problems?!")
-And the episode closed with its customary Cute Moment - which, I am now expecting them from here to eternity, so they better keep delivering - by having them dance in bee suits. Which I knew was coming, having heard all about it at the time, but I refer to you my "dancing is stupid" viewpoint. It was suitably cute, yes, but also the dullest of their interactions thus far. Sorry, Grissom and Sara still own romance in bee suits.
Oh thank goodness, I'm done writing about the show so I can watch the next ep! I'm already at the midway point of the stockpile, SAD. Stupid writers. *narrows eyes & shakes fist, still embittered*
We're also going to have dance show chattage, because it's the only current TV I'm watching right now.
Let the Show Commence
Cat's hair is a bit...poufy today, isn't it? I like her outfit better this week, though, even if the sleeves seem to have stolen unnecessary length from the bottom of the minidress. It's lacy and pink. I think. My TV doesn't like what you call "true colors" very much.
Darn it, at first I thought our guest judge was Tyce, but then it was just stupid Adam Shankman. Grumble. Upping the obnoxious-gay factor this year, I see. And Nigel got a haircut...that's good.
Wait, Lacey and Travis are in a movie somewhere? Are they recognizable? Or just dancing in the background? It's kind of a testament to how sad this season is so far that I'm excited by the name "Lacey."
Did Mary Murphy call the season "unbelievable" or "indistinguishable"? Because it is still the worst year ever, as far as I'm concerned. Twitch, Matt, and Comfort are my favorites, and even I don't think they're awesome enough to be crowned winners. Literally, I have absolutely no one I want to win. I don't even know why I'm still watching...oh right, because I love dance.
As a random aside, I'm kinda likin' Mary's disco-ball shirt. I'm sure in real life it just looks weird, but all the costume diamonds stuck on a black top look very pretty and sparkly under the stage lights. I am like a magpie for sparkly things.
01. Twitchington: What I'm hearing is that Kherington thinks bears laugh. Well. That...doesn't help me like you, and nor does your shopping addiction. *eye roll*
Dancing in prison jumpsuits, that's...interesting. It so better be for "Hip Hop Police." [edit: and it isn't. Some crap by Busta Rhymes. Dammit, HHP has good music! I demand that someone choreograph a routine to it!]
Napoleon! You cannot be staccato and smooth at the same time. By definition, this is impossible.
"She's gettin' it. She's a gangsta. That likes to shop." --Twitch
The Hip-Hop: My dislike has probably got more to do with the song choice and costumes than the quality of the dancing itself. I didn't feel it was knock-out spectacular, but they had attitude by the barrel, and I think they pulled it off. And LOL! "Let me count the negative things...I can't think of any." Nigel pulled off a good fake-out, I honestly thought he was going to say they didn't get their characters to come through or something. Wow! Man, when did they turn into the Golden Power Couple?
02. Courtney/Gev: HOLY HELL, he did look like a girl when he was little. And you know what? She looks a bit like Rachel Bilson. But it still doesn't help, although I do find this quote amusing: "Ohp, really, that's the choreography? Gev grabbing my butt?"
Rumba: OOH! Her dress, oh my God. Slinky, asymmetrical dress w/ cutouts [edit: no, more like literally half a dress]; sparkly blue and the first truly beautiful, knock-out costume I've seen. Anyway. They had some really pretty lifts & spins - she looked like a mermaid at the end, too, all stretched out on her side - and a decent partner connection. They have chemistry with each other. Unlikable chemistry, but I believe them as partners.
03. Comfort/Chris: Oh goody, so Chris is a big food mooch, and...gross. He actually grabbed Thayne's fork and took a bite, and poor Thayne looks truly appalled by this gross lack of manners and/or respect for personal space/property. I mean, Chris is laughing like it's a joke and Thayne's like "what the hell, freak." (did I mention I'm likin' Thayne?) And Chris, whoa, when did your hair become brown? It looks weird. SERIOUSLY, FIVE STEPS BACK.
African Rumba: To...Marilyn Manson? Really? REALLY? Also, I think they just took those costumes straight from last year's group African dance. They have interesting interpretations of African tribes on this show. As for the dance, um, this was kinda...gross and caveman like. And Comfort pushed on her boobs, so I guess that's kind of a theme this year. Too weird for my tastes, although Comfort's hair was once again completely gorgeous and flowing. Are those extensions? I hope not. I want to believe she really does have beautiful hair.
I also cannot get over how completey they are The Odd Couple. I think they matched everyone else up first and then were like "Hey, lucky you!" They just look so MISMATCHED.
04. Jessica/Will: I like the fact that she used to have butt-length red hair, even if she doesn't anymore (let's be honest, that would be hard to dance with, loose or contained). I'm still keeping an open mind and an eye on her. But Will! Holy lord, Will, it would be enough just to hear that he's a gentleman, but then in addition to that he keeps showing us every week. "I was very, very proud of my partner last week," for example.
Ooh, they're doing disco! I feel like that's the Kiss of Death lately, more than any ballroom dance, but I love Doriana Sanchez like whoa. She's probably one of my favorite choreographers, right up there with Mia and Shane. I think it's the fact that she looks like Catherine Zeta Jones, but she also has an amazing personality; just the right mixture of serious and sweet. I love watching her teach.
Disco: Now, this was a dance I could get behind. FINALLY, I was bobbing my head; I enjoyed it. And her first floor spin wasn't too hot - it wasn't smooth; she looked like she got stuck to the floor at one point - but the spinning lifted twirl was WOW! And just, lots of great spins in there. This showed her off beautifully. And then he got flips! Yes, yes, YES! You win the night so far.
And Will? You're kind of power-mowing your way to the front of my favorite guys. I think maybe, possibly, nope, yep! You not only left Mark in the dust, I think you just surpassed Joshua with that last hug for Jess and "I'm proud of you." Explosion of Will love, right here. Man, dollsomealways talks about wrong-shipping on shows, but I like...wrong-pick reality show contestants, at least on talent shows with voting. Jordin Sparks aside, I never like the people everyone else does, and my favorites always get kicked off early. But by liking Will, I'm finally joining the popular ranks!
05. Kourtni/Matt: Because I needed more reasons to hate her, she has words tattooed on her neck. Gross. It's the back of her neck, and the words are just about dancing, but the idea of permanently stabbing ink into your skin squicks me and automatically makes me think a bit less of a person when I see they've done it.
But Matt the Ninja, I find hilarious. Why am I not even a little bit surprised? I think I've figured out who he reminds me of...Zach Braff. Goofy, slightly soft guy.
Contemporary: Oh, they're not even trying to stick to the card-picked styles anymore. Contemporary? Try Broadway? Those costumes are a dead giveaway. Just with a few contemporary leaps and lovely pointed toes and kicks and...all right, it's just very well disguised contemporary. Those outfits are cramping my glee. OK, that was cool. And loved Matt's tumble over her. Matt sort of reminds me of Zach Braff. That goofy, kinda soft guy.
Choreographer "Sonya": My response to the sight was..."WHAT. THE HELL. IS THAT." Never have her again, please, at least not until she acquires a normal head to put on her shoulders. because that, that, I don't know what the hell was on top of her head, but every time they cut back to a shot of her, it made me shudder and want to vomit. GROSS.
Interjection: Adam's getting progressively less annoying as the night goes on, yay! "Now wardrobe is gonna poison me." Heh. I actually kinda love it when judges pack as much into their review as possible, giving nods to choreographers and costume department alike, and giving suggestions for the future along with praise. Instead of wasting their time screaming and granting tickets to Hot Tamale Trains, NO ONE IN PARTICULAR *cough*.
06. Chelsea & Thayne: It's like my brain just puts up a brick wall when I see her. There is nothing happening. She steals flowers. Oh noez. As for Thayne, I'm still kind of gleeful over his "what the hell, freak" look at Chris in the backstage footage, so I don't have time to process his fashion-designer aims.
Choreographer Heather Smith: Whew! She looks totally normal. Feel free to call her back any time. And lol, Thayne and his hula-hoop practice!
Quickstep: "YOU CAN'T HURRY LOVE! THIS IS WIN." Not as good as Dixie Chicks, but a much more entertaining quickstep than I was expecting. It's all in the song choice, see? And now that I am inspired to pay attention, I remember that I actually enjoy quicksteps, especially when they're bouncy (so what if they're not supposed to be?). And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE HER DRESS SO MUCH - a bit like Courtney's, but in a shade of purple.
07. Mark & Chelsie: You know, when she mentioned last week that they had a brother-sister dynamic, I must admit that I really see that. I mean, really see that. If they looked more alike, I would probably start wondering if they were related. Failing that, they make great friends, like people who've grown up together and been inseparable ever since. Means they have negative romantic chemistry, but when it's not ballroom, that matters not.
Hip-Hop: So, the choreographer is talking about how every word in the song has meaning, and he says - says, not sings - one of the lines is "I don't care what they say." And I go "ARE YOU KIDDING ME BLEEDING LOVE DIE IN A FIRE NOW KTHNX BAI." Leona Lewis and her "Bleeding Love." I'd never heard it before American Idol this year - when, as you may recall, I was both unimpressed as a whole and very grossed out by the imagery of BEING CUT OPEN - and now I hear it friggin' everywhere, even on my sacred Mix station where it sticks out like a sore thumb of not-fitting-in. I hate it.
And that is why I hit the mute button for the first time all year, and literally could not listen to a second of it. Which unfortunately translated into not really paying attention at all. My fiery hatred for Bleeding Love is just that deep.
08. Joshua/Katee: See! Even Katee says he's a soft old teddy bear! In a realted note, let me just say that he looks fine in samba attire, in a way that should not be possible for a football player to look.
Samba: It was the last routine of the night, so I guess it was great. I don't know. I've already forgotten everything about it except for Mary (rightfully) fawning over his natural prowess for samba movements. And I still hate Katee with every fiber of my being and wish her friend had been picked instead.
If I could vote, I think I'd put in for everyone except 2, 7, and 8 for one reason or another, but I can't. I mean, I literally can't. I just found out that they changed the phone system at our school so that you can't call outside the area code. It used to get charged to your account, 7 cents a minute when you input your access code, but now they won't let you make any such calls at all unless you use a phone card. And unfortunately, that means they block free 1-800 (or in this case, 1-888) calls, too. DAMN YOUR UNFAIRNESS, SCHOOL.