Or, "After 5000 Edits, RS Deletes Her Third Post of the Day."  Here's what's left of it, as I figured this part couldn't possibly rile anyone up.
------------
My MP3 player came on Thursday, and dear God I am in heaven.  I haven't actually, um, used it yet, because I am still gazing in reverent awe at the screen.  My friends, it is like going from an Apple Macintosh (the really old-school kind) to the newest edition of Windows.  My old player had your basic gritty black-text screen, and the only way you could play a smaller selection of songs was by genre or album (not even artist, just album).  My new player has...has...COLOR.  And (high-resolution!) GRAPHICS.  I am so enchanted with its dazzling, sparkly appearance that I can barely even stay conscious after using the little spinny wheel to scroll through options like FM radio and *playlists* and - I still can hardly believe this - voice-recording and video-playing capabilities.  It even has a clock in the corner!

I think I'm afraid of breaking the spell if I actually put anything on it.  But I fully intend to attempt this at some point soon.  Soonish.  *worships shiny screen*