RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

So You Think You Can Dance: Top 10 (or, 'look how ahead of the curve I am this week!')

So, at work, we've spent much of the first half of the week washing windows in the dorms. Let me tell you something, those suckers are BIG and they are HEAVY. My shoulders seriously feel like they're going to fall off - I needed ibuprofen last night when the ache woke me up. On the bright side, as sore as my upper body is, it's basically the equivalent of spending several hours in the weight room. I'm even kind of sad that all the windows are done now.

Luckily, in my exhaustion I slept for like 12 hours last night, so for once, I was wide-awake for my one show of the week!

(Fair warning: I worked my tail off to type this up over the course of the show. No proofreading, no outside opinions, and I'm not even making my usual seventeen hyper-edits immediately before and after posting. Out it goes! One less thing on my mind.)

Pre-dance blather:
-Oh look. They think they are being all cute and funny by announcing "top 10" but only showing 9. I think it would have been much funnier to throw a "WTF?" curveball by just announcing "It's...COMFORT!"

-I'm glad Jessica came out to explain, though. People online were spreading mean rumors that she'd had a mental breakdown, since Nigel couldn't comment on the nature of her injury beforehand for mysterious legal reasons, and when I first saw her looking extremely un-injured, my face fell. But no, turns out she actually has a couple of broken ribs. Which, HOW DO YOU BREAK RIBS AND NOT REALIZE IT? How do you mistake broken ribs for a side cramp? I thought they were very painful. I also don't see what legally precluded Nigel from talking about this.

Whatever. Good to hear she'll at least be on tour. Except, wait, if Comfort is still competing...are they going to do 11 on the tour, then? Or bump it up to 12, and bring back Thayne too? (YES PLZ?) Because I mean, what if Comfort stayed another 3 or 4 weeks? They couldn't lock her out after that much more success, could they? My pet theory is that she's going to be voted out first, though, and so they won't have any reason to let her come on the tour.

-Loving Cat's sheer gold halter-top dress. And writing that, I realized that Cat always, always, always wears a dress. No slacks, never even a skirt, as far as I can recall. Just a short dress, no longer than the knees. Huh.

-Lil C's merited up to a judge invite now? Why?

-I hate the fact that I find Mary's hair really gorgeous. But those long, thick curls are enviable.

-YES NEW COUPLES. WOOT. [Edit: Also, you will notice that they dropped that incredibly bad 'let's have every dancer do the same solo' idea from last year. Didn't I tell you they would? I win!]

Joshua/Courtney, hip-hop: Wait, how did they get Courtney's hair to look like that so FAST? It was normal for solos and like 5 minutes later it's enormously teased to be Frankenstein's monster bride. Anyway. I liked Josh in this, mostly I kept thinking how much more I loved Pasha/Lacey's mannequin dance last year (seriously, one of my favorite dances ever). Not least because Pasha didn't visibly sweat all over the place. THAT TAKES A LOT AWAY FROM FOR ME. So gross I can't even look at him.

01. Chelsie Solo: I am shockingly underwhelmed. I mean, I hated Lacey's fake-sex-kitten act, but Chelsie was just like, no energy at ALL.

Mark/Kherington, Country 2-Step: I'm not nearly as good at spotting technique as I used to think I'd be, but even to my eyes they look a little bit clumsy and awkward in their turns. They seem like they're moving slower than they should be, and it just isn't fluid at all. On the bright side, Mark is much more believable in sparkly cowboy attire than in his usual "I really want to have sex with you, Chelsie, NO REALLY" characters. I don't know why, but I can totally see him as a dude ranch worker.

02. Gev Solo: I admit that he has a good repetoire of tricks, especially that one where he does the splits impossibly low while remaining flat-footed, but I just loathe him SO MUCH.

Twitch/Comfort, Smooth Waltz: Despite dancing to the always boring "Open Arms" by Journey, I do so love when they put Comfort in those long flowing dresses and do her hair up all pretty. It's very ELIZA PLAY. And God, the jewelry on her; a choker necklace with long strands of sparkly diamond, and the long diamond earrings... whatever, judges. I thought they floated in a very pretty way. And the look on Comfort's face during that lift, she looked like she'd just won American Idol.
03. Courtney Solo: Dancing to Celine Dion, always a bonus even if it's not one of my favorite songs. She has some nice twirls and things in there, but I am not compelled to vote for her in the slightest.

Will/Katee, Broadway: Oh, NO. *makes disgusted face* I honestly had no partner preferences this week, except that I did not want my one awesome guy to be paired with the one truly evil girl; I wanted to see Will with a completely impressive partner for once. And then he got her. UGH. Also, I hate how hot she looks in her 4th of July outfit, short jean shorts and a red halter top...I'm sorry, the remnants of a red tank top tied back on over her white bra. And her pigtails tied with red ribbons. I also hate the fact that they had some amazing high kicks back leaning on the boat.

I do not hate the fact that for the third week in a row they found a way to show Will's chest. Nope, that I can't argue with at all.

But judges, stop tongue-bathing Tyce. He's really not that friggin' awesome. ALSO, it BURNS ME WITH UP WITH FURY every time I hear the judges reminding me how they almost didn't put Bitchface on the show. THAT IS JUST CRUEL TAUNTING.

04. Mark Solo: He's dancing to Queen. -.- Also, his hair is in the ickiest faux-hawk ever. I forgot to pay attention to the dance. STOP BEING SPASTIC DURING CAT'S SPIEL.

Chelsie/Gev, contemporary: OH GROSS, IT'S THAT HIDEOUS CREATURE AGAIN. *vomits at sight of choreographer* Aaaand, not for the first time, I consider the girls' squeals when dancing close with Gev, and wonder if my description of his cconstants horniness is more literal than I meant it to be. We should really pair him with Comfort; she gives off a very asexual vibe. Oh, was there a dance? I'm still not paying attention.

05. Comfort solo: Damn, I like her. I don't know what it is about her, but she's just always so much fun to watch. Gimme a phone line! I want to vote for this one!

06. Twitch Solo: "I Question Mark" - wait, Wade Robson is a SINGER? Since when?!?! Oh, um, focus. OK, his solo last week is one of the most memorable bits of season 3 so far, so this one didn't quite measure up, but it's still some of the best possible stuff to watch, and I really think he deserves a spot in the final 4. Love the superman-style "T" on his shirt.

Courtney/Joshua, rumba: First impressions: Enrique Iglesias, "Hero?" I HATE THIS SONG SO MUCH. Mute button NOW. Oh God, I can still hear it in my head! Noooooo! OK. Focus. Courtney is gorgeous; loving the pretty hair and it's really not fair how many beautiful (half) dresses she's gotten to wear. And always, the man looks good in tight pants and the deep V-neck shirt.

This is the slowest rumba ever. But it's sort of pretty, I guess? I am rarely blown away by ballroom, and I thought they got a little tangled when going for the (admittedly amazing) lift over his head, but it was nice enough.

07. Katee Solo: Dancing to "This Woman's Work," she almost wins me over because this song has pleasant associations for me (can't remember exactly which episode, but it was a GSR-suggestive promo for CSI, and it was pretty even though if you stopped to think about it, using that song made no sense).

Anyway, I'm saved from that feeling because yet again, there's that horrible thing she does with attempting to emote and looking constipated as a result. Why do people keep voting for her? How is she even slightly likable? Rhetorical question, that.

Kherington/Mark, jazz: Why, why, why does all jazz have to sound/look like bad 80's? Jazz exists outside this decade! It does! I KNOW IT DOES. One of the slightly more entertaining routines of the night, but I really miss when I was actually excited to see every dance. Stupid sucky season 4. (and oh, go me, I thought it suffered from lack of story too!)

08. Will Solo: *forgets complaints about sucky season 4* Um...guh. I am slightly cranky about the lack of leaps, in a way that might make me withhold my votes if I were voting...but since I am irrelevant, I call winner. Unlike American Idol, on SYTYCD I feel that sheer talent should be rewarded in the end, so while I like Twitch slightly more, I want Will to win.

Twitch + Comfort + hip-hop: = sheer perfection. Oh man, there is no way you could possibly ruin this, EXCEPT BY CHOOSING A CURRENT SONG. From the Top 40 station I am forced to listen to at work. Which I naturally loathe with every fiber of my being after hearing it every day for 2 months, CHRIS BROWN'S "FOREVER." I had to hit mute, and when I hit mute I don't watch, and I may check this out on YouTube later, because I suspect it was fantastic, but right now I am broiling with rage that they took something with such impossibly incredible potential and killed it. Killed it dead.

I love that Comfort is having a red-letter moment, though. :)

09. Kherington: I demand to know why the hell Rihanna is so popular all of a sudden. She's not even pretty. And her music is crap. For once in my life, however, I will ignore the music to focus on the dance because I find that Kherington's solo is one of the more pleasing ones. At least out of the girls. Mostly by process of elimination.

Katee/Will, ballet: oh, now she gets ANOTHER new dance stye? Stop...stop frigging fawning over her. And I want to like this dance, I do, I really do because I suspect it is utterly fantastic and if it were Jessica or something I'd totally love it, but...I hate Katee so much that not even Shirtless Will is saving it. Sorry.

ALSO. ALSO WE ARE LISTENING TO THAT HIDEOUSNESS THAT IS DAVID ARCHULETA SINGING "IMAGINE." Well, not anymore, I muted it, but still. Effing awful song choices tonight. I hate this season.

Interjection: Stop tongue-bathing the choreographers. They both look like freaks. Freaky hair on one, effeminate plastic surgery gone wrong on the other.

10. Joshua Solo: Again with the pimp spot? Does he ever not go last? Aside from the fact that by process of elimation I want him to last until just shy of the final 4, I am so over him. ...or I would be, if he didn't do crazy awesome flips, better breakdancing poses than Gev, and otherwise be the most entertaining solo of the night, even better than Twitch.

Mark/Chelsie, Jive:WELL FINALLY, SOMETHING FUN. Love her awesomely shiny black and yellow skirt, too.

Is the season over yet? I've been waiting and waiting for it to kick into gear, thinking that it just needs some time to get up to speed, but now it's like a month away from ending. FAIL. Pick better contestants next season, please. I might forgive this season if you pull a Twitch with Katee's friend, for example.
Tags: sytycd, tv commentary
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