1. GUYS GUYS GUYS. WHY DID I NOT KNOW THAT "THE FOX AND THE HOUND" WAS A NOVEL? That's always been one of my
favorite Disney movies, and I suppose I should have known that most Disney animation is adapted from something else, but this never even occurred to me until I asked Google what year the film had originally come out, and Wikipedia answered a different question! *fires off ILL request* I am SO excited to read this. It is 1967! And animal-centric! The 60's were a golden age for wildlife novels, so I'm already 100% positive this book is at least a 4, if not 5-star winner.
2. Is it just me, or does that one Wendy's commerical (warm chicken/cool crunch veggies) jingle use most of the chorus melody from "Dirty Little Secret"? Listen to it next time. It might use tinkling bells, but you can clearly hear the syllables of "I'll keep you my dirty lit--" before landing on a different final note. I think there is subliminal messaging going on, probably by someone trying to take down Wendy's from inside the marketing department.
Plus I'm finally starting to believe season 1 Vic and season 4 Vic are the same person. "So we both leaned. That's interesting." BWA-HA! They are so cute I cannot stand it! *pats Vic's sadface* Just wait a couple years; you'll trap her in marriage. Eventually she'll even fall in love with you, and it will kill every viewer dead with squee. Oh, oh, oh, and there's an actual kiss! Was DEFINTELY not aware of this! *is giddy with love for this show*
4. Lesson of the Week: Never let RS go to a farmer's market again.
Yes, the raspberries were large and delicious, but that still does not justify an insane cost like that. I thought 2.98 at the grocery store was bad! Look, I knew it was probably going to be a bit pricier than a grocery store, even a local grocery store, but I don't buy into the whole fresher-tastes-better. Food is food. Is all good, therefore, get cheap always. I don't know why I forgot that (I'm sure many of you disagree, but personally my wallet is pretty satisfied with the agreement it has with my taste buds).
I thought it would be sort of a lark to walk down there and look for artisan bread or maybe some fresh veggies, but it was claustrophobic. And simultaneously scary because there were only like a dozen stands arranged in a circle, and hardly anyone was shopping so I felt exposed, like everyone was looking at me at once.
Meh. The experience was unpleasant and I'm sore about blowing that kind of cash, ergo, no more farmer's markets for me ever. I like places where you can pick up pre-packaged items without anyone watching you - not to mention plan your list and bill ahead of time - and pay for them without saying anything except maybe "hello."
5. So You Think You Can Dance: Running Commentary All the Way!
Once again, I feel the need to redo Cat's introductions. See if you can possibly work out who's who, besides the one I give away, without watching the episode:
Bitchface - *surprised face* with a Bouffant!
Your Future Winner!
Your Future Alternate Winner!
Non-Latina Latin Dancer!
Lucky Save From Elimination!
Only Other Caucasian Left, Seriously!
Overly Smiley Possible - Horrible - Final Four Upsetter! (I like how my titles get more and more elaborate)
-WTF, HAIR STYLISTS, plz to leave Mark's poor hair alone. Fauxhawks do not imply manliness. Ryan Seacrest has a fauxhawk.
-Whoa, Cat's in long sleeves! That looks so weird, especially with the completely open back. Still a minidress, as always, this time solid black with what look like children's clear plastic gems sewn around the collar. Seems like it should look odd, but it works.
-My reaction to this week's guest judge: who the HELL is Toni Basil, and what is "Mickey"? [edit: oh, wait, the song? OK, I know that one, but WTF is a singer doing judging dance?]
Will/Courtney (WOOOOOOOOOT GOOD PARTNERSHIP!), salsa: And it's official, you're not allowed to wear more than half a dress in Latin dances. Poor Courtney. At least they're always pretty! This one's all shiny and yellow, very fiery. And dude, that's a totally see-through tank on Will. That's not "not shirtless," wardrobe! Not that I have a real problem with it. Oh, and the dance...meh, I'm back to a place of being officially bored by this show unless it changes my mind, but this was...fun? I want to say fun. Though I really wish the partners would hug each other less when they're all sweaty like so.
-Oh, oh, OH! We're doing interviews again this week! FINALLY. These are so much greater than the dancing this year, not that they're not always fantastic, and I have been missing them sorely. This week it's "what inspired you to dance," which I have to say, is something I am intensely interested in and wish they'd asked everyone sooner. A video package says so much more than a 1-line response on a site questionnaire. And even though my fingers were flying so fast to keep up notes with the dances that I either missed or forgot most of the specifics, it was excellent.
01. Comfort Solo: HAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA, seriously, I love Comfort like whoa. Tricked into going to performing arts school with the promise of hip-hop, and then yelled at in ballet class for making the barre "too hip-hoppy." Her solo had a little too much pelvic-thrusting for me, and she really ought to have tightened her belt beforehand to keep her jeans up, but still: AWESOME. I can has phone to vote for her now?
Katee/Twitch, contemporary: Wait, they were friends beforehand? DAMN IT, TWITCH. Don't disappoint me like that -- *is distracted* Ooh, Mia Michaels! *squeals* Except...OH MY GOD, I just *knew* it was going to be to some horrible song! KNEW IT! And sure enough it's Duffy and her "Mercy" song, which I hate because it sounds like Amy Winehouse, which I hate because it's all deep-growly-voiced and jazzy. But even so, I was going to ignore both that and Katee and appreciate the dance on its own merit for once, until --
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. I threw a fit about Lauren kissing Danny once upon a time - that was like a cheek peck compared to this! MAKING OUT ON STAGE =/= CHOREOGRAPHED DANCING. FUCK YOU, MIA. WE ARE OFFICIALLY THROUGH. *storms off*
So, what was much more entertaining than the dance that I couldn't sit through after that because it involved Katee, and my plans to ignore her horribleness were shattered after that eye-burning sight, was the mock warfare between Nigel and Mary, about how the dance was based off something that actually happened with the former once.
"No matter how much she begged, I wouldn't let her out."
"I can't believe you just said that!"
"Well, I didn't mention your name, Mary."
02. Will Solo: Will, I'm sorry, but that's a stupid-ass solo. And I'm not just saying this because I think James Brown is a freak. No hypothetical votes for you.
Mark/Comfort, hip-hop ("Party People", Fergie/Nelly): Ahahaha, I love the school-slackers angle with them starting off in desks (not to mention the mad run back to them/collapse into feigned sleep at the end, with the ringing bell). I really like them together. Amazing flip backward over his shoulders.. and didn't I tell you Mark is better when he's not trying to pretend he wants to make out with his partner? I even thought he was acting straight for the first time in his tenure on this show. Plus the head banging, and the intense throwdown movements, and...what I'm trying to say is that this dance FINALLY brought a smile to my face, and I watched it at least three times. Winner of the night, for me.
"I will not be in the bottom." Oh, Mark. Such wishful thinking you have. And Nigel, why you gotta slam her solo, especially when I suspect she's the only contestant whose solo you are going to mention at all? BASTARD.
03. Katee solo: I'm making a concentrated effort not to look at her constipation face, and I have to say, it improves my opinion of her a lot. It's still well beneath the other girls, but at least it doesn't make me want to claw her eyes out.
Joshua/Chelsie, Argentine Tango: Firstly, DMITRYYYYYYYYY! I love you, now please to fix your hair, freak. I've never seen a guy pull off spikes and fail with floppy, but he manages. (wait, his last name is Chaplin? seriously? How is that Russian?). Lol, poor Dmitry, uneasily trying to get Josh and Chelsie back on task and get some work done. I don't think he remembers what it's like to be a contestant. This reminds me of recent college grads going off to teach high school, thinking it'll be easy to relate to their students, and then going "What the hell! I cannot possibly have been that immature."
Actual dance commentary is like so: "Hey, she got to wear a whole dress! Well, it's missing the sides, but still. And Josh has such charisma, wow. I liked them a surprising amount, actually - ADORED the kicking between legs." The end. Ballroom really is not that interesting. The judges comments are, though. Backhanded compliments much? "You really do have the biggest bum in the competition!" And that somehow leads into praise, I think.
-It's 7:49 already? WOW, SHOW IS FLYING BY.
04. Mark Solo: MUSICAL THEATER! And there go my temporary feelings that he was passing for TV-boyfriend material tonight. Seriously, I just saw Doctor Who literally use "he's into musical theater, huh?" as a euphemism.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT'S THAT HORRIBLE SQUEAKING-NOISE MUSIC FROM THAT ONE GREY'S ANAOMTY TEASER THAT I HATED WITH FIERY BURNING PASSION AND NEVER HOPED TO HEAR AGAIN! ["Creator" by Santogold et. al.] OK, in an underwhelming performance the slidiing off the stage was a little cool, but I told you to stop being a spazz during Cat's speech, you freak. NO VOTES 4 U.
Will/Courtney, lyrical hip-hop: This is so gonna be a horrible song, isn't it? I always get nervous when they explain a story like this - see also, "Mercy" and "Bleeding Love" rout- because it's usually an insanely weird interpretation of a Top 40 song that doesn't have even a quarter that much actual depth. [Answer: "Like You'll Never See Me Again" by Alicia Keys. Close enough.]
Apparently I had nothing to say about this dance other than the picture of Will asleep in her lap was cute, and Mary actually faked me out for once (it works so much better if you do it less frequently). Perhaps ghost!Will was not so exciting after all.
05. Chelsie Solo: ...WHAT. Shy little kids don't want to do things that will make them less shy; the whole point is that they're AFRAID of those situations, and therefore avoid them whenever possible! This loudmouth little tomboy is not and never was a true shy person, and I resent her a lot right now for pretending she was. *gnashes teeth* SHYNESS IS NOT A PHASE.
As for the dance, "Damaged"? Are you kidding me? AS OF THIS MOMENT, I CALL A MORATORIUM ON CURRENT TOP 40 SONGS. At least she traveled a little bit at the end there; I was worried at the beginning. Oh, and thanks for the hair ruffle - I do appreciate that none of the remaining girls have short hair.
Katee/Twitch, Broadway: And I feel nothing. Broadway is hard to make compelling, and this was not a success story.
06. Joshua Solo: "Shawty Get Loose"? OK, right now, I need to know what the hell "shawty" means and why it is currently being used in every hip hop song ever. *looks things up* Whatever. Usage will remain annoying and therefore unacceptable, except in "Low" where the music amuses me. As for the actual dance! It was fun.
(also! Totally love the adorable story about how his elementary school teacher got him into dance, and love even more the current picture of the two of them. I always find it extremely heartwarming when people remember their elementary school teachers and reach out to them years later.)
07. Courtney Solo: Firstly, she talks about how when you start off, you take combo classes like "ballet, tap and jazz," and I mentally tackle-hug her with joy, because that's exactly how I remember it. COURTNEY IS MY DANCE-STUDIO GIRL! It took entirely too long to see it, but she is a solid, classic, all-around-hometown-dance-studio girl! Unlike Chelsie "Latin competitions all over the place," or these hip-hop dancers with their street cred, or Will off at fancy dance academies, Courtney could be any girl in any town across America.
Look, look, SHE'S TALKING ABOUT THE SENIOR DANCE, and how it's usually this big culmination/farewell moment, which yes! Yes! That's exactly what it's like! And look at those classic dance-recital photos! She's real, she's not an amateur professional in disguise! SUDDENLY, I LOVE HER TO PIECES. Courtneeeeeeeyyy, please to kick Chelsie's butt and make the final four!
And then she danced to Missy Higgins, which is a name that pleases my ears and whose music I keep meaning to get into, so clearly she owns my soul. Loved her solo, too. Ladies and gentlemen, I officially have a fourth person to cheer on with full enthusiasm, so I now have to the potential to be completely crushed when the Final Four doesn't match my dreams.
08. Super Twitch: God, he's awesome. I CAN HAS PHONE TO VOTE SOME MORE?
Mark/Comfort, Foxtrot: She looks great, but Foxtrot is Fail. They're so gone tomorrow. I'm extremely sad about one of them.
Joshua/Chelsie, Disco: Friggin' seriously. Does he ever not close the show? IF HE WINS, I WILL BE ALMOST AS PISSED AS IF KATEE DOES. That aside, this was brilliant fun to watch, the lifts were amazing, and I officially cannot handle two straight hours of dance show with any semblance of coherency. I become bored and disinterested by the 3/4, if not 2/3 mark, and by the time the show officially ends at 8:54 or so, I slap the TV off and mentally flee with all the speed of a dog released from its chain after being tied up all day.
[On the bright side, The Recapist was actually quite helpful for catch-up purposes this week.]
Your Future Winner! [I was really tempted to add "This statement will not be ironic AT ALL later," but it spoiled the flow.]
In other words, the Idiot Commenter said "I can't believe Will's gone!" (he was the first comment, too! Idioto!), and I was like "LALALA NOT LISTENING DID NOT HEAR" and blocked it out of my mind. Because every time I remembered it, I would be overcome with a ball of fiery, burning rage and/or desire to punch the nearest inanimate object.
Damn it, I figured the worst possible upset would be that he got the Pasha spot, and left at Top 6. Because I mean, clearly, isn't Mark just walking along with an axe over his head? How is that not obvious to you? And of course, I personally was holding out hope that Will would win the whole thing, because he was as technically brilliant as Danny, but without the obnoxious attitude and sweating. Also, he was handsome and personable. He deserved to win. I would have settled for him placing second to Twitch's all-around awesomeness, but I really wanted him to win. AND NOW HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A SHOT. %(@#&%*(#&%(#*%#!!
And Mark is still there. Wait, HE WASN'T EVEN IN THE BOTTOM TWO?! Wait, TWITCH WAS THE OTHER ONE IN THE BOTTOM TWO?!?!?! Are you quite sure that the people in charge arranged these votes properly? They didn't accidentally hire dyslexic counters who mislabeled the highest vote tallies as the lowest?
Apparently Nigel's explanation was that people probably assumed they were safe and so threw their votes to dancers they thought were in danger, which Recapist agrees with, and to which I can only say AMERICA, WHERE WAS THIS PHENOMENON WHEN DAVID COOK WAS ON IDOL?
The next question was which of the two girls I liked would be going home. Because whenever I declare my love for a dancer, America tends to turn on him/her. I was sincerely hoping I'd be wrong about this one and see Chelsie's face in there, but no, I was right on the money - it's Courtney or Comfort, which means I'm ultra pissed either way.
And apparently it's Comfort, so...I'm actually less blazing-eyed than I might have been, because Courtney at least has a shot of making final 4, whereas Comfort did not have a snowball's chance in hell. *clings to hope*
That's a lie. I am currently hoping that Courtney and Twitch both get shot down next week, at which point I will have nothing but intense hatred (maybe tempered slightly where Joshua is concerned) for the final four and so can quit watching this show a week early. Hey, it worked for American Idol!
6. OK. After five solid days of mulling, I think I might be ready to take a tentative step towards mentioning Doctor Who again. Which is good, as I should probably get on that before my 4 pages of crazily scribbled notes stop making sense to me. There's kind of a small window for that.