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(*laughs uproariously*)

Funny thing happened, I was all set to cue up 4x00, and then I thought, "Hey, you know what I could do instead?  Read all of Spy's Torchwood recaps."  

Because it bugs me that there's Doctor Who-related material I don't know about (except in passing, having occasionally read your posts or skimmed TV Squad out of boredom).  I hate the idea of watching a show and knowing there's companion material out there that's not part of my consciousness in some form.  You shouldn't watch X-Files without Lone Gunmen and you shouldn't watch Grey's Anatomy without Private Practice, so watching Doctor Who without Torchwood feels wrong.  However, I flatly despise just about everything I know or have seen about the show, and have less than zero (far, far less than zero) desire to view even a second of it.  

But then I realized, hey, the gloriously captioned recaps are just sitting there, waiting to be read!  I can go at a quicker pace, and absorb all proper knowledge of this show's events, but not actually have to watch the sexin' or cursin' or slash or Jack!  BEST OF BOTH WORLDS.  I'm only a few episodes in, but I already feel better about the amount of knowledge I've sucked up.  Doctor Who actually did a pretty good job of succinctly explaining the situation with Jack/Torchwood at the end of season 3, but I prefer knowing first-hand.

Where I stand on the characters:
-Owen looks weird, and I've always gotten the feeling that he's kind of an ass, or at least overly smug.  The recaps confirmed this, and suddenly I feel all full of warm fuzzies about what happens to him later.

-Tosh strikes me as fantastic and my favorite - possibly only likable - character.  I think it was the caption where Tosh would rather watch Antiques Roadshow than porn that did it.   Suddenly I feel all full of MISERABLE DESPAIR about what happens to her later.

-Jack = haaaaaaaaaaate.  This is the natural state of things; always has been my base reaction and always will be.  Also, I am unsettled by the idea of Jack being the leader of a team.  It is so very wrong to think of him being the one that everyone follows, the one charged with all the responsibility.  I'm breaking out in hives here.   

-Ianto has always bugged me nearly as much as Jack.  He's unattractive, or at best incredibly plain, his character sounds incredibly boring, and he has this look of, I don't know, cringing - he annoys me merely by existing.  Let me put it this way: when it comes to other dogs, my dog insists upon dominance, but whenever a dog she's gotten close enough to sniff tentatively at starts to relax its ears and lower its head in submission, she lunges and snaps.  Basically, she gets aggressive if the other creature is too submissive, and that's how I feel about Ianto.  I have no idea why, but I want to kick his ass for being a wimp.

-Gwen is the only character I didn't really have a pre-existing opinion about.  Pretty, but I wasn't very impressed with her in the early recaps.  I do think she might be starting to grow on me.  The part that keeps her from growing on me too fast is knowing how she gets all ~*dazzled*~ by various Torchwood men and/or kisses them DESPITE HAVING A BOYFRIEND.  (There are two things wrong with this: one, I am generally opposed to cheating unless the existing boyfriend/girlfriend is an undeserving ass - unless she breaks up with for a while him at some point?  I don't know everything here - and two, the Torchwood men are in no way attractive, much less attractive enough to warrant the cheating business)

-I have no opinion on Rhys other than the fact that dollsome

loves him and Gwen, and thus I love them on principle because they are apparently cuddly and domestic.  Really, I am not very impressed with his looks (did David Tennant just absorb all the pretty in the Whoniverse, or what?), and his character doesn't seem particularly interesting yet, but he's Gwen's boyfriend so that's enough for me to be on his side. 

Anyway, I've been having a good time reading the recaps, without feeling a need to mention anything in particular, except for these three things about 1x04:

-Wait, wait, waaaaaaaaaait.  Ianto has a girlfriend?!  Like hell he does.  If I've gotten one impression about Torchwood, it's that Ianto is EXTREMELY GAY and Jack is bi completely 100% pansexual, but also laughable in any serious relationship except possibly with Ianto.  I don't *ship* them, as they both repulse me (Ianto possibly more so than Jack, because he's not even plastic-handsome), but I feel like they belong them together.  IANTO HAVING 'GIRLFRIEND' = LOLCAKES.  Sweet tie-in to Doomsday with her being half-cyberized, though.  See, this is the kind of thing I miss out on by not watching spin-off shows. 

-*grump* Gwen cheating on Rhys 4 episodes in pisses me off.  That's another reason why I'm not actually watching this show.
-Though must admit, the pterodactyl brings me great joy.

Then I got to 1x05, "Small Worlds," and it was immediately like "...aw, hell.  That looks really cool, and I may have to see it for myself."  I fought a losing battle until about halfway through the recap, and then I gave in because you can always win me over with a) immortal men talking to Clearly Significant old women, b) spooky little girls and/or fairy-things, c) quoting a Yeats poem, specifically "The Stolen Child," or d) all of the above.  So I'm watching it.  BUT JUST THE ONE.  I will justify it by the fact that seeing the characters in action will help me form clearer, better opinions about them.

I still flatly refuse to join your Cult of Torchwood.  *glowers at fandom, holding pitchfork defensively* 

(I also love how this is the second post I've started tonight for the express purpose of reviewing Voyage of the Damned, and once again, still haven't gotten to it.  *sighs; moves partial text into storage yet again*
 


Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
scsquidsnaps
Aug. 31st, 2008 07:16 am (UTC)
Ianto does start out rather boring and dull, but that was because he wasn't actually supposed to be a main character. They were impressed with Gareth David-Lloyd and decided to keep him on as a regular. By the end of series 1, he ends up not so much of a pushover. He stands up for himself and other stuff... Lol. I know you're reading recaps just to get info and not actually watching, but I don't exactly want to spoil you anyway.
In series 2, he's far more a part of the team, and he gets a lot more of a personality, because the writers actually have a use for his character.
rainbowstevie
Aug. 31st, 2008 08:03 am (UTC)
Well, it's good to know he gets better, since he does seem fairly unnecessary at the moment. And it's beginning to creep me out how he just shows up pouring beverages all the time, like a clockwork robot. On second thought, I would totally buy it if he snapped one day and went on a homicidal rampage, possibly as an axe murderer.

No worries about spoilers for THIS show, though. I'll take anything you want to bring up in the course of conversation, since chances are I've run across it in some capacity. I'm just filling in the gaps.
scsquidsnaps
Aug. 31st, 2008 04:55 pm (UTC)
Lol. Episode 4 is kind of about him snapping, but that's only because he doesn't want to kill his girlfried, the Cyberwoman. He doesn't really go on a homicidal rampage. Lol.
By the end of the season he gets to the point where he's willing to shoot Owen and defy Jack, which he definitely wouldn't have done at the begging.
As for showing up with random drinks, well... near the end of series 2, it shows how he was hired, and basically he stalked Jack till Jack took him. He offered to be a butler or the trash boy or whatever, as long as Jack would hire him, which is how he ended up serving drinks all the time.
rainbowstevie
Aug. 31st, 2008 07:50 pm (UTC)
Well, now it's clear to me that Ianto's just insane. No one in their right mind would be that desperate to work with Jack. On the other, if a creepy little dude were stalking me begging for work, I'd make him the tea boy too, so at least that job makes sense now.
scsquidsnaps
Aug. 31st, 2008 10:17 pm (UTC)
Well, he really didn't care about Jack one way or another. It was just the "hiding his cyber-girlfriend" that made him desperate to work there. The Jack thing really didn't come till later.
dollsome
Aug. 31st, 2008 09:02 am (UTC)
I LOVE TORCHWOOD.

Like ... a lot. Like, probably quite a bit more than Doctor Who. And it wasn't always that way! I hated it for such a long, long time! And it was after I had watched like seven episodes of it, too! But it was just so dark and dingy and I loved Rhys and Gwen got skanky and it was all just stressful and dark and HORRIBLE, but then I skipped ahead to season two and, throughout the course of that season, I just fell in love. To the point where when I went back and watched the first season again, I loved all of it too! Once you get attached to it, it really is spectacular. Every single character just owns my heart. Even Jack, even if he is pretty lame.

Also, Ianto? I used to be all, 'Bah, I do not get why the internet is freaking out about this guy, he seems so lame and boring.' Turns out? HE IS ACTUALLY THE GREATEST GUY EVER TO EXIST, EVER, EVER, I CANNOT EVEN. Trust me on this one. Iantooooooo. <3 <3 <3
rainbowstevie
Aug. 31st, 2008 08:14 pm (UTC)
Your feelings on Torchwood are somewhat unclear. If only you could make a more emphatic statement, possibly with larger text... ;D

*purses lips* I dunno, I trust you on a lot of things, but I'm pretty sure it's not possible for Torchwood to eclipse Doctor Who. David Tennant > all. Maybe we could come to a compromise on Ianto.

I love how you sound like a PSA for giving Torchwood a second chance, though. Could probably give inspirational lectures about how to let your opinion turn itself around.
dollsome
Aug. 31st, 2008 08:18 pm (UTC)
Hahaha! My apologies! I was really sleepy when I made that comment and, er, possibly should have not been trusted to do it. Sometimes, size ten font is just the clearest way to get these things across.

And I figure if I can help one person with my story of Torchwood-related struggle and ultimate acceptance, my work here is done. ;-)

Knowing what I do about your taste in stuff, I am pretty sure you will never become a convert to the "Torchwood is better than Doctor Who!" sentiment; personally, I prefer it because I like the group dynamic better than just having the Doctor and a companion. More characters equals more character dynamics! (And, well, more shippiness. I'M SO EASY.)
rainbowstevie
Aug. 31st, 2008 08:50 pm (UTC)
-Heh, no, I am a great big fan of great big text. I use it whenever possible, and I love when others do the same.

-LOL

-More characters equals more character dynamics! (And, well, more shippiness. I'M SO EASY.)
I bet the show doesn't even have to buy you a drink first. :P
dollsome
Aug. 31st, 2008 08:57 pm (UTC)
Oh, I have some standards!

... but, really, it had me at the Jack-once-dated-Proust reference. That plus continual Gwen/Rhys adorability equaled NO HOPE FOR ME.
eleigh
Aug. 31st, 2008 03:30 pm (UTC)
Ianto had a girlfriend. Who became a Cyberman. Sort of. So he had to kill her.

The one thing you must remember about RTD is that every one, regardless of prior sexual orientation, is gay. Or has bisexual tendencies. They can be the straightest person on the planet until they're not. That's my problem with RTD and Torchwood. It's not realistic. He at least explains why Jack has no problem with a fluctuating sexual orientation but when Tosh makes out with a girl or Gwen does or when Ianto and Jack start playing hide stapler in the office he just assumes we'll accept it because of course every one is bisexual. I have no problem with slash I just have a problem when it makes no sense.

That said, I enjoyed season 2 far more than season 1 and one of the reasons I still haven't watched the finale is because, somehow, I came to like Owen when I hated him all of season 1. I have to pretty much pretend Owen of season 1 was an AU Owen to like season 2 Owen but I do. So I don't want to watch the finale.
rainbowstevie
Aug. 31st, 2008 07:56 pm (UTC)
-So I gathered. But at the beginning of the episode, he still thought of her as his girlfriend...hence my reaction in present tense.

-I'm beginning to see that. Loyalty towards RTD is...shifting slightly because of it. I'm really not one of those people who can enjoy shows on the merit of being outlandish and/or enjoy cracktastic fun for its own sake. I'm thinking that's detrimental to acceptance of Torchwood on the whole.

-But I've also heard that s.2 is superior to s.1, so I'm going to give watching it another go-round when I get there, which should be soon as I've almost reached the end of the first.
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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