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Saturdays with Team Torchwood

Not quite the 'Tuesdays with Morrie' sound I was hoping for, but nevertheless a pretty good description of how I'm taking in this show.

2x04, "Meat"
Hey, no fair playing on my love of animals to make me like this one!

1. Because I completely fell head over heels for the poor beached creature lying there, strapped down and moaning in agony, having LARGE CHUNKS OF FLESH CHOPPED OUT OF IT (gag-worthy sight: accomplished). I don't see how it really mattered whether it was sentient or not - and how did they figure it was, anyway? Maybe it just opened its eyes at the sound of new, less hostile voice in close proximity - because that's completely vile. I know people can be sick and twisted and evil - people keep the slaughterhouses running, after all, which is a thing I've never understood...were it up to me to kill my own meat, I'd be an instant vegetarian - but I don't even understand how you could justify this sort of operation as a business.

Oh, crap. My logical side is all "But what Tosh said isn't wrong, this would be a way to tackle world hunger...and, I mean, as long as it was constantly doped up on painkillers, from an OBJECTIVE viewpoint...besides,- with the addition of a shallow viewpoint, it's really pretty ugly, and I'd rather eat that than cows...

*slaps self back into sense* But as it stands, the sight was heartbreaking, horrific, and not a little nauseating. And I fully applaud the appearance of alien animals from time to time, not just the havoc-wreaking races. I applaud the whole animal cruelty issue in general.

2. Know what else I applaud? The UTTER AWESOMENESS of Jack suddenly and abruptly channeling his inner Doctor and declaring that there's been enough death and so it is Absolutely Imperative that they kick as much ass as necessary to save this creature. I don't know when, where, or why this sentiment came into being, and I don't care. It gave me some hope that the thing I said an hour ago about compassion being a non-existent value in Torchwood (I paraphrase) was going to be slightly reversed.

I really should have remembered that the official motto here is "nothing gold can stay."

But at least it gave me a moment of thinking Jack was awesome. All his cold and ruthless assassinations, by order or by hand, and the first thing he wants to save is a space whale. That's too good. It almost makes up for...

3. WHAT THE HELL, JACK/GWEN. HOW DOES IT KEEP GETTING WORSE? Does anyone actually like this? It seems to be universally hated for a variety of reasons, which begs the question, why did they keep writing it in there?? Because, I mean, that moment where he shoved her against the wall - or more specifically when he actually said "You have to do what I say" - I think I threw up a little.

But you know what I really don't understand, in a way that makes me infuriated with wordless sputtering? The part where Jack has this SEETHING INTENSITY every time she dares, dares (!), to choose her fiance over him. Like - I don't - WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM? It's Jack. Do you honestly want me to believe he has a Deep Well of Feelings? Like not being able to be with Gwen is just tearing him up so much that he can't sleep and food has no taste? He had freaking tears in his eyes at one point! Which just made me laugh so hard that I almost broke a rib.

This storyline right here, that's the most cracktastic thing about this show. I swear.

4. Rhy's first meltdown full of well-deserved rage and shouting was a lot of fun. I heartily applauded it. And even though I don't quite know what to do with a ship I support but can't sail, I liked their nice little moment at the end there. Even the spot of ice cream on the chin was weirdly endearing.

5. Speaking of ships I sail, I'm the newest member aboard the S.S. Tosh/Owen. (oh, this is bad timing to fall for them. So, so bad. I almost forgot about the mid-season thing) WELL REALLY. How do you expect me to resist the over-the-shoulder handhold of comfort at the end there? That was beautiful!

And even before that, I found myself amused and delighted by Tosh's painfully over-eager attempts to reach a man's heart through his stomach, and drop Titanic-sized hints about their star-crossed status. (Tosh's thoughts, not mine. I'm not that far gone) I don't know! She's really cute when she's besotted! And he's just sort of being politely oblivious rather than snapping back with cutting remarks.* Part of that whole character-transformation thing he apparently underwent between seasons.

(* = I don't know why this works for them and not Doctor/Martha. It's probably Rose-related.)

6. Owen's painful regret over euthanizing the creature: did 895,000 times more for his emotional growth than being emo about losing a woman he'd spent about a week with.

7. File under "things I could do without," the whole exchange with Jack about alien meat. Ahahaha. I DID NOT NEED THAT THOUGHT IN MY HEAD.

8. I FINALLY GOT TO SEE THE PTERODACTYL! I haven't mentioned this, but I've been really sad about missing the episode(s) it was in, and in lieu of actually going back to watch them I've just been hoping and hoping and hoping to see him again, so YAY! And YES, I'm going to watch Primeval. Someday. Finding out that Spy recaps it gives it a huge edge, I might add)

9. Snarky!Ianto continues to make appearances, and I grudgingly enjoy the addition of humor ("Listen to Ahab"), but: where did Action Hero Ianto come from all of a sudden?! I don't understand this topsy-turvy new world!
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2x05, "Adam"

First reaction: Oh, thank heaven it's not THAT Adam. Because in retrospect, I really hated "The Long Game" and I was worried that we might somehow be tying back to that. But nope, we're good.

I, er, don't know if I have a lot to say about this episode, but only because it was so well done. Very artistic direction, particularly for Jack's memories (will not make comments about Last Temptation of Christ parallels, at least so far as I understand it based on that one X-Files episode; nope, totally will not). A compelling plot. An extremely clever meta-y opening. And some other fun (and not so fun) stuff that makes me want to bust out category format again.

Confession & Communion With Drugs (TM Theoriginalspy)
You know, over on Lost, sometimes when Jack Shephard gets overly self-righteous and controlling about the greater good, I mockingly refer to him as "Jacksus." I did not expect that moniker ever would or could cross fandoms, yet here we are! Jacksus the Benevolent, pillar of strength to comfort and guide them and ease their pain. Trust in Him, Believe in Him. Sleep with Him, if you're so inclined. Whatever you need. He will provide.

Sorry. That scene left me with an even worse taste in my mouth than a certain moment of "Voyage of the Damned." This scene didn't make me drop everything and run off to watch a different series, for example. But it was still pretty bad.

Which is a pity, because prior to that, I really loved hearing them speak, almost entranced, about their defining memories, which were all really impressive. Well, mostly. Tosh is just love and cuddles and sunshine with a basket of kittens, and all the more pitiful for finding comfort in math, yearning to connect with the world but not knowing quite how to reach out, and thus getting passed over. *wibble* TOSH! I THINK YOU'RE SPECIAL. And I actually find it very sweet that Jack sees that too. In the future, I demand 300% more Jack-Tosh dynamic. Note the hyphen, and how it is not a slash, thus signifying "platonic."

Owen... !!! (*insert sympathetic squealing, coddling, etc*) Emotionally bereft childhood! Mother issues! Cynicism as a defense mechanism against the world! AWWW, c'mere, you. This can all be fixed and made better.

I feel a sudden urge to change my name to Cameron. Not sure why.

OK, well, I guess those were the only two I liked. Ianto's nonsense about love just bored me, because I still cannot find it in my heart to give a rat's ass about the omega. And then Gwen's was sort of nice, at first, met my approval at any rate for pulling up memories of Rhys, the acknowledgement that she loves him...

"But not like I love you."
Me: "WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK, GWEN." *explodes*

This is so frustrating, because my general love for her as a person has not diminished in the slightest, and yet, and yet! She keeps doing such awful things! I don't even know how this nonsense goes on a continual downward slope, but it seems to be picking up speed. I can't think about this anymore. *dismisses*

Further Do Not Want
In the future, writers should not be allowed to write Jack or Ianto crying. Teary eyes are acceptable, but Jack breaking down towards the end just made me laugh. A lot. Incredibly fake, y/y?

And Ianto basically curled up in a ball, rocking and sobbing at the top of his lungs, made me HOWL WITH LAUGHTER. Which was exceptionally disappointing, because I was almost at a point where I was ready to care about Ianto during the whole forced-memories-of-murders thing. I was starting to feel a modicum of symapthy! And then he started howling, and that was the end of that.

The S.S. Tosh/Owen
Just for the record, I am totally fine with role reversal and watching Owen pine comically after Tosh for a while. He's even cuter about it than she is, and so while I prefer the usual way of things because Tosh is easier to sympathize with, this was nice for a break. His whole stammering confession of love, for example! That was fantastic.

ALSO: HIS GIFT OF A SCREEN-CLEANER. That is my favorite prop ever. I want one. Where can I get a screen cleaner shaped like a cute furry animal?

But mostly, I just want to squish the pair of them and try to contemplate ways I could canon-compliantly imagine them getting and/or being together. FIC: I AM AT A POINT WHERE I WANT IT. Fetch me some. Now.

*twiddles thumbs*




I can wait.




Adam, Himself
Am I the only one who kind of liked him? Not in a way where I want to see him again, but in a way where he was a lot more appealing than, say, Spike. Also, am I the only one who thought he bore an uncanny resemblance to Grey and/or might end up being him, in some form?

Totem Pole of Team Torchwood
Right, so, Owen's officially beaten out Jack and is not only sitting comfortably in the middle position, but is engaged in a struggle with Gwen for second place. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED. I know you *told* me he gets better, but I really did not foresee this transformation being so sudden/all-consuming/180-degree-spinning in a Martha Jones way!

SEASON TWO FOR THE WIN.

Other
-Hm, I thought I was going to have more to say about the artistic direction by this point, but I'm still just kind of "guh" about it. Though I did love the poignant shot of sand running through Jack's fingers at the end. Memories to dust, and all.

-That thing I mentioned a couple posts back, about manly hugging? Doesn't seem to apply where Ianto is concerned. I'm so anti-actually-seeing-this-ship that even a hug between him and Jack counts as my Creepy Place.

-Oh, Tosh. "He loved me, and I loved him!  That's no different from real memory!" My heart bleeds for her desperate railing.

Random Fic Rec!
This is not even slightly relevant to anything, including the episode, except that I tripped over it while hunting episode thoughts, and technically the first Torchwood fic I've ever read? It's a bit of quippy-innuendo Jack/Ianto dialogue, which basically illustrates why I like their relationship in a tell-don't-show aspect, and so I felt a need to document & share: Doctor's Opinion

Up next: MARTHA JONES, YEEEES. She may or may not have been 65% of my reason for watching season 2 in the first place...I wanted to see everything that built to her appearance, even if not directly connected to it.

Oh, Torchwood, please don't ruin her like people say you ruined Jack. Please don't. It would make me sad. I already know there is unsettling kissing going on, but I'm hoping that's the worst of it since she's not known for her sense in that department anyway.
-----------
P.S. So, I've been drinking my Diet Pepsi, and at first I was just so happy to have dark carbonation back in my life that I didn't notice, but on the second bottle I started thinking that it had a kind of weird taste. I kept thinking maybe it was expired (nope) or maybe it was somehow an aftertaste combination based on what I was eating...and then I was absent-mindedly turning it around on the desk when my eyes fell on the nutrition label. 100 calories per serving/300 calories per bottle.

Me: *eyes bug out of head* F#()&%(*#%&(*#%!!!

I somehow managed to not notice I was buying regular Pepsi. FAAAAAAAIL. And ew! Now I'm stuck with 4 more bottles of the stuff. It's better than no pop at all and so I hoard it jealously, unwilling to give it away. But I still think that means I have to go back to the store tomorrow, because this? Does not taste good. And oh, how I HATE wasting calories on drinks...

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