RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,
RS
rainbowstevie

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Premiere Week Doth Begin:

Well, today was fun. Started with me being late to class because a) our bus lines are insanely long and b) I jumped out of line twice because I can't bear more than about 90 seconds of standing outside while HORNETS ARE SWOOPING AROUND EVERYWHERE, OMG, DOZENS BUZZING AND HOVERING AND WHY THE FUCK ARE THEY SO OBSESSED WITH HUMANS. 

Proceeded to have a total meltdown in French because the vaguely panicky feeling I've been trying to suppress about how I feel lost and overwhelmed by both the workload and my classmates' brilliance finally reached a head during small-group-discussion today; I hadn't read that far in the novel and as soon as they jumped into conversation about it and turned to me expectantly, I burst into tears.  The upside was that the prof kept me after class to talk about strategies for keeping up, including skipping every other page in the c and/or finding a translation and reading some of it in English, and she was very nice and understanding about it. So that helps a little.

But not as much as having tomorrow free of all obligations, plus the reward of Keri Noble. To quote the bus driver this afternoon, "There's no school tomorrow, so you know what that means: no studying tonight allowed!" I'm gonna have to take him up on that.

'How I Met Your Mother: 4x01, "Do I Know You?"
I had started making dinner right before the episode started, only to realize, crap. This show is such pure and unadulterated awesome, there's no way I can be absent for even a second outside of commercial breaks! Luckily, then I realized I could quite safely make an exit any time Stella appeared on screen, because LORD how she bores me. I guess that's the one benefit to her relationship with Ted - he's already my least favorite, so the two of them can take up entire scenes alone that I can TOTALLY IGNORE. Woo!

In a related note, I don't think I could marry a guy that obsessed with Star Wars. I watched the first movie when it was re-released in theaters and my parents dragged me to it, and I fell sufficiently in love with Luke, Leia and Hans Solo to read a novelization of the second one, but it is really, really not my thing and I don't think I'll ever watch the other installments. I do at least know that Chewbacca's a Wookie, though. Yeesh.

Aside from that, AMAZING PREMIERE. I love this show and have missed it muchly. Not only does it make me crack up constantly ("I caught feelings!" I want an icon of that), it also brings me unexpected things like Barney being adorable. That headlong tumble I took into Barney/Robin shipping in the season finale? Oh, that's going stronger than ever now. I don't know how you could resist it after watching Barney get all distressed over the fact that he's in love, and emphatically insist that he doesn't want to be her stupid boyfriend, he just wants to hear about her day and smell her hair and all sorts of other RIDICULOUSLY ATTENTIVE things. Awwww, my heart melted into a big puddle all over the floor.

Lily repeatedly punching Barney in the arm was also one of the best things about last night. Ah, the Ericksons and their physical attacks on Barney: classic and priceless.

Less priceless: "I'm not a real reporter"? Robin, I barely tolerate you on the best of days; when you emphasize being a career woman, I like you less. And the puns you read off the teleprompter are cute, thank you very much. Embrace them.

Making up for that: MARSHALL'S HAIR OMG. By which I, unlike the rest of the internet, mean "hot damn, that looks good!" I generally think he's the most attractive guy on the show anyway, but then you add in overgrown curls(!), and I am LOST. To the point where I almost wish I'd never seen that, because now when it gets cut I am just inevitably going to be crushed. That's how I am with hair. Even when I think a person looks good with it short, it always looks better longer, and when it reverts I am SAD.

I'm going to go think about Barney being adorable now. Oh! I think my very favorite thing is when the busty waiter shoves her cleavage in his face, and he just politely tries to lean around it so he keep eye contact with Robin. Could not stop laughing (while simultaneously being de - wait for it - lighted.)

(oh, and is it weird if after all this, I still totally understand how he continues to sleep with bimbos?)
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CSI: Miami: 7x01, "Resurrection"
"This never ends, does it?"
"And it never will."
Fascinating - that's exactly how I feel about this show.

Oh my God - I'm actually starting to hate the sight of David Caruso; I'm recoiling in annoyance the second he appears on my screen. DAMN IT, SHOW. This is so not where we were 2 years ago. *sighs* Remember 2006? More specifically, remember when I was stunned by how awful the season 5 premiere was, and couldn't understand this sudden anomaly? I MISS THAT INNOCENCE.

The Good
1. Um, Jake Berkley. Jake. When did you get so hot? *purrs* Because between the scruff (I...don't know; that's usually not a thing of mine) and the bright, bright eyes and the really sexy smirk at their first meeting, I found myself suddenly struggling to breathe whenever he was on screen. AND THEN. Then there was "I didn't do it for the case, Cal. I did it for you." And asking her to wait, with such warm eyes, and looking doleful when she refused. And while my fuzzy and short-circuiting brain is vaguely able to recall that his M.O. is leaving a trail of broken hearts (all Calleigh's), I suddenly don't care!

Neeeeeeeeee. *melts* Hi there, Jake! Tell Eric to beat it, because I'm officially giving you claiming rights over my shippy heart.  Nooooo, no fair having such a sweet goodbye kiss! CALLEIGH CALL HIM BACK RIGHT NOW. I LUFF HIM.

2. In the autopsy room, as Eric approaches a covered body on the table with trepidation - they were really milking this pretend-Horatio's-dead thing, huh? Ugh. But (and this is why it's in the 'good' section) bless Adam Rodriguez's earnest little heart - not only do I think he (along with Emily Procter) is currently the best actor on the show, I think he tries the hardest to channel his character's former self. It's like he just puts his head down and doesn't care how much BS goes on around him; he knows Eric and he's going to deliver the same type of serious performance he did five years ago. Whereas Linn and Togo, for example, I think are more about just having fun while embracing the crack-tastic-ness.

3. The editing tricks were in almost alarmingly short supply! Seriously, the only one I can remember is the gray-screen flashback to Horatio's top 3 enemies. And that was at the very beginning.

4. Natalia also seemed in short supply. She didn't even rush to the scene! I approve.

5. YELINA! She gets so few/such crap lines that it's hard to tell if there's a glimmer of the old her in there, but the sight of her makes me so happy that I'm even willing to ignore the fact that she barely batted an eye upon seeing him alive. Not even a choked-up voice for being put through the emotional wringer? Or maybe she's stopped caring about him since he turned into Robot Caine, like I have.

6. "What the hell is this?!"
"It's called irreconcilable differences, Ron."
*gigglesnort* OK, that was funny.

The Bad (continued in a later section)
1.  First sign that Ryan is lying through his teeth: when was the last time the evening news showed anyone lying in a pool of blood? Actual dead bodies are simply not a thing you see on local news. Duh.

2. Really, Ryan got the 'It's done' text at 9:35 PM? It seemed pretty damn sunny out there. Not to mention that all this action seems to be taking place all in the same day as the finale...I'm just saying, prop department, if you're going to go to all the trouble of putting a timestamp on your text message, you should think through the logistics.

3. Also, dude, you know why Eric & Calleigh don't like you?  Because you stand there with a smug look on your face and go "It's not what you think" and "I was following orders" and otherwise GENERALLY BEHAVING LIKE AN ASSHAT.  How bout instead of standing there all 'I has a secret!', you clarify the specifics before Eric has to grab you by the collar and shake some answers out of you?

4. New "Worst Fake Technology Trick Ever": Wait, whaaaaat?! You just put the phone facedown on the Minority Report Computer's screen, and it MAGICALLY SUCKS ALL THE RELEVANT INFORMATION OUT OF IT?

5. How does Ron figure that just because Horatio's dead, the streets will suddenly and automatically become a rootin' 'n' tootin' orgy of Wild West-style gun violence? (I paraphrase) HI THERE, HE IS NOT THE ONLY POLICEMAN IN THE STATE.

6. Of course, Ron's proven himself a spectacularly awful bad guy anyway, since he has no idea who Yelina is. Dude, how do you not find out about your #1 enemy's closest family? She's not even sequestered down in Brazil anymore; you have no excuse at all.

7. KYLE. HORATIO. This "dad" and "son" business has got to stop. It's too ridiculous for words. There's no way a kid Kyle's age is going to call the biological-father-he'd-never-previously-met anything but his first name, there is absolutely no reason Horatio can't address him in kind. Normal parents don't regularly refer to their offspring with generic nouns!

The Different
1. I keep forgetting there's no more Alexx. :( Why haven't they replaced the prickish coroner yet? I know they're going to, but I'm impatient.

2. I am SO SICK of Horatio's magical ability to deflect bullets. I knew he wasn't dead, but damn I was holding out hope that he'd actually been shot. But oh, of course not, just some special exploding blood packets.

3. "Eric, he's one of us." Yeah, pay attention, the mole was 3 seasons ago.

4. It took me way too long to remember that the sharpshooter was Yonk Allen on "The Class" (WHICH, BY THE WAY, I STILL MISS). I knew he'd played a football star somewhere, I just couldn't remember when or in what context.

5. Ooh, now Horatio's causing death by explosion. Does that count in the kill tally? Or rather, hypothetically, would it count if Ron were actually dead?

The Part Where I Attempt to Meta
1. Ryan tells them Horatio's dead, and thus begins the part I laughed my ass off at last week - which, by the way, is still hilariously overacted (by Ryan, not Togo. Although...). I'm surprised he doesn't pop a blood vessel at any point; apparently he's got it into his head that the louder you yell, the more convincing your lie will seem. It's just terrible. But more to the point, I want us to look at Eric & Calleigh's reactions, and then go back. Back to when Speedle was shot.

OK, true, we were robbed of Eric's initial reaction, and in fact most of his reaction throughout the episode, but still. We at least didn't see him explode with rage and start getting all menacing and threatening. And Calleigh? Calleigh was stone. Calleigh was stone when Hagen shot himself, too. Because that's how she used to deal with emotion, before everybody became a caricature. She shut down and she focused on the job because she couldn't deal any other way. Now she goes in for the much more stereotypical reaction of wild emotion. And if this were any other show, I would chalk it up to emotional development and learning to be less rigid, but here I just get annoyed.

(Also, it occurs to me that Calleigh's now gotten a call that EVERY SINGLE ONE of her original teammates has been fatally gunned down on duty. She should probably invest in therapy soon. Maybe that explains it, she's just totally unhinged.)

2. Once upon a time, you could have really done something with the fact that Horatio chose Ryan to confide in, rather than the members of his original team - especially in light of his words to Eric, about how he didn't want him to be part of it if it failed - and so I'm going to do just that. I keep telling you, it all goes back to "Mr. Wolfe." There's this eternal, impenetrable distance of professionalism between them, and that's how Ryan gets pulled in as the sidekick/lackey all the time. (remember that time they were going to flush out the mole? Until Horatio got all distracted by Marisol and never got around to finishing that plan)

And it works very conveniently for Horatio, but at the same time, it's really just kind of sad to watch Ryan get put through all this crap (which he keeps voluntarily going along with, I notice. I think there may be an unhealthy level of idolization going on here). All he struggled through once upon a time to get along with his new coworkers, and now it seems like he's pretty much given up on that hope, resigning himself to finding acceptance from Natalia and occasional nods of praise from the boss. If you put your mind to it, you could spin a pretty dark version of Ryan's psyche. Because really, after the crap he pulled today, are they ever going to forgive him? No.

People have mentioned that, given how they blew up at Ryan, shouldn't (or wouldn't) they be just as mad at Horatio, if not more so? Interestingly enough, know. When Ryan lies to them and tricks them, it's betrayal. That's my gut reaction as much as theirs. But when Horatio does it...it's just not worth getting worked up over. Now I don't know if I'm explaining or interpreting with a dash of spin, but it seems to me that the man is just so far removed not only from his original team, but also from a great part of reality in general, that even if you did  get mad at him it would be like getting mad at a brick wall.  Nothing would sink in.

...yeah, the meta got away from me about halfway through that paragraph, so I'm going to give up now.  And content myself with laughing about the hilarity of the Minority Report Computer sucking information out of the phone, because even after everything else I've written here, I can't get over how particularly ludicrous that was.

Notes from the Red Turns Purple Fashion Show
See last season's finale, as this all takes place in the same day. What I love is that I didn't remember this fact, and I wrote up the whole thing, and then I checked the old review and was like "..." Most important thing of note? My reactions were all, literally, exactly the same. Right down to the title! The only people I left off were --

Julia & Kyle: DA-YUM, that is a hot dark purple blouse (buttoned up, even!). Unfortunately, its awesomeness is negated by her fugly high-waisted pants, and the fact that she felt a need to use her son as a fashion complement by making him wear a purple-striped tie. That was just weird.
Yelina: Little red dress?  Smokin'.  It's almost like she knew she'd have to seductively flatter an arms dealer later that day.
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'NCIS: 5x01, "Last Man Standing"
Was channel-flipping between FOX and CBS, ready to go with whichever show started first, but they kicked off at EXACTLY the same time. And I couldn't remember anything I was particularly looking forward to about House, whereas I'd seen about 8 million previews for NCIS during CSI: Miami last night, so I went with that. Am glad I did. I was totally glued to the screen

First, thank you for not lying when you said you weren't pulling a "House." I certainly had my doubts, for which I'm not sorry, but I'm glad that you had an actual point to splitting up the team, and I'm glad you got right on explaining that instead of dragging it out. In fact, in retrospect, it was a pretty damn brilliant piece of plot arc setup, and I commend you heartily. (Although I will never forgive you for permanently replacing Jen with Director Jackass. Never.)

Second, OMGWTFBBQ, I SO DID NOT SEE THAT ENDING COMING. Show, if you have one talent - and you actually have many - it is a remarkable talent for pulling off true surprise (aside . Because damn, as soon as it got narrowed down to the three agents, I was like "It's the Timmish one. Whatever his name is - it's totally McGeeLite. Look at his innocent face and bumbling ways. He's clearly evil." And I stuck to this conviction without wavering, even though I was tempted by Agent Jerkoff, because obviously it couldn't be Michelle.

7:52: What the hell, the suspicious & jerky guy is never the actual bad guy! I feel robbed & cheated! This is crazy! But also weirdly relieved. Because sometimes the suspicious & jerky guy should be the bad guy.
7:59: ??????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ??????????? !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (and no, that does not stand for what it does in Barney's text messages).

I just - I - what the - MICHELLE LEE?! ASL;KDJFLASKDF! And this is so brilliant! So brilliant! OMG, I've been hating her ass ever since she appeared on this show, more so after she started molesting Jimmy, AND NOW SHE'S TOTALLY TURNED TO THE DARK SIDE (rejoice, rejoice, sound the bells!). If I'm being triple-tricked, I'm going to be ticked, but as it stands, this is the most exciting thing to happen on the show since Ziva joined the team! SEASON FIVE, I'M FEELING YOU A LOT RIGHT NOW. I didn't even suspect, not even for a nanosecond when they came back to her the second time...not once! *is giddy with delight*

I think we are going to have an incredible season-long plot arc.

Other Things
+ Gibbs/Abby hug! Two of them, even! But the first one was longer and involved Pensive Gibbs just holding her for a while, so that was clearly the better one.

+ Ziva's dress was ridiculous. Every time I see a picture of it, I'm surprised, because my brain automatically corrects for it being too low both in front and in back. Especially in back. Otherwise, very much enjoyed her (minor) part in the episode.

+ I dealt surprisingly well with the near-lack of Tony. I think I'm even starting to like McGee more than him. He's just so bland. I mean, hilarious, and delightful during any and all interactions with Ziva, but on his own merit nothing at all stands out.

+ That being said, his whole video conference with Gibbs, and code-referring to him as Pa, was the sweetest thing ever.

+ McGee as the boss of the geeks = lolcakes

+ Gibbs exploding with rage at the director during the initial reveal of The Master Plan was fantastic.

+ So was Gibbs holding Michelle as she broke down in hitching sobs.

+ Oh my GOD, the chat between Ziva's father and Director Jackass was long and dull. I don't even care if it was supposed to set something up, because I could not sit through it once it passed the 20-second mark. That was channel-flipping time, I assure you.

+ I keep running over Palmer's pathetic "I felt like I was being used" reason for dumping her, and now I'm thinking something. Bet-placing time: did Michelle actually have a thing for Jimmy, or was he just a convenient excuse to log into Building 3 on a regular basis? (that Friday morning regularity...intrigues me) LET US PONDER.
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Without a Trace: ...season 7 premiere.  Some title.  Don't care enough to look it up.  Plot = father of a girl who went missing 3 years ago, goes missing himself.

Did anyone else watch it? And if so, could you explain it to me? Because I tried to pay attention; I really thought I was and yet we got to the very last scene and I was like "Wait, how the f*** did that happen?" That's how boring this show has gotten! My brain actually refuses to absorb what my eyes are seeing! In further testament to how boring it is, I did not even remember Jack getting fired last season. I actually fear that if the show hadn't made a point of hammering it home with spit-up stains on her jacket, and the call about the babysitter, I might have forgotten Samantha even had a kid. As it was, I had to think long and hard about whether she'd had a boy or a girl.

And as proof of my pathetic longing for when the show was at least semi-bearable, the highlight of the episode for me was when Elena & Danny came back with coffee. They went out for coffee! And, well, arguably they were buying for the whole bullpen, but whatever! They spent a small amount of time together outside the office, just the two of them! CLEARLY SOMETHING IMPORTANT HAPPENED. Elena was in a perky enough mood to call it "our treat," after all. Maybe there was a detour for a hot makeout session in an alley on the way back. DAMN IT, I MISS MY SHIP EXISTING. Look at the wild fantasies I'm forced to concoct in its absence!

Pretty sure I didn't care about anything else that went on, except the very end.
Seriously, how did they find his daughter? Because about 3 minutes before that, I was going "damn it, that girl's adorable! I demand resolution!" and then all of a sudden she was at FBI headquarters, already talking with her mother. Who took her? Why? How did they abduct her in the space of 6 seconds, from her father's side, without making a sound? Where did the FBI find her? Is she all traumatized, or relatively stable? What's going on with that?

Oh, and right now I'm studiously not caring about the new boss. I don't know his name, or why he's there; I just know he looks like a creepier version of Martin Sheen and I also feel like he might have played a pedophile somewhere, or else would be a very good candidate to play one because he's just the right shade of unnerving.

I hate this show even more than I hate my inability to let things go. *is chained to shows she watches for All Eternity, unless they gross her out with excessive sex and/or partner swapping or implicitly-promise and then don't deliver engagements, which seems unlikely to happen here at any point.
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Right, now I'm going to go poke the internet until it gives up House & SVU. 
Tags: csi: miami, how i met your mother, ncis, tv commentary, without a trace
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