'Danny and Lindsay are expecting!' reads the headline, and I am just WHAT THE EVERLOVING HELL.
Seriously? I have been flatly denying and disbelieving in this rumor for weeks, if not months, and then all of a sudden they decide to write real-life pregnancy into the show?!?! (and that's it, Anna Belknap, you are officially on my List. Fear me.)
%#()&%#()*&%#! Out of all my ships on all my shows, I am not even kidding when I say I either want or at least wouldn't mind seeing about 80% of them become parents. Kids fit nicely into most of my future scenarios.
But Danny and Lindsay are not one of those couples. Not even in season 3, when I adored them to pieces, did I see them with a child. Pets, I said. They'd do nicely with pets. But they just don't seem like the kind of people who'd end up with kids, even if they wanted them. I can't explain why, but my brain violently rejects the idea of either one of them with a baby, and doesn't do any better flashing-forward to elementary school-age.
I don't even have enough emotional investment to hope for a miscarriage or a stillbirth or any of the other last-resort escape routes I usually wish upon unwanted fictional babies. I just want it to not happen. Maybe they can still scrap it and just have her suddenly develop a problem with overeating, a la Daphne on Fraiser! No?
Arrrrrgh. I'm feeling extremely frustrated at the moment. YOU KEEP RIGHT ON FAILING, SEASON FIVE!