Other than lacking an introduction and/or conclusion, I finally managed a long but successful essay-format review. And then I inserted subheaders to make it readable. I'm just on fire today, provided I don't think about school.
OH how I tire of Grey's being lauded about, all Socially Approved With The Stamp of Diversity, but nothing about it more so than this relationship. It just, the stupidity and non-logic, it infuriates me. Hey, Cal? Maybe if you're freaking out about "going south" and everything about the whole business makes you so uncomfortable you start sweating bullets at the sight of her, and also you've never previously experienced these supposed feelings of being attracted to women, PERHAPS THIS IS A SIGN THAT YOU DON'T ACTUALLY WANT AND/OR NEED TO DO IT.
(part of me is trying to remember I personally freak the hell out at the idea of anything beyond kissing, even when I'm romantically attracted to people. But that part is canceled out by the fact that Callie will sleep with men at the drop of the hat, so clearly her problem isn't with sex in general)
Really, what with the utter lack of even innocent physical contact, I see nothing about this relationship so far that screams "ROMANCE!" I'm convinced you could just get over that kiss and revert back to normal friendship. And this frustrates me, because I feel certain that I would in general be far more accepting of a lesbian relationship than a m/m one - I'm not all on board with it, clearly, because I'm me, but it doesn't activate my squick button in the same way - but in *theory* I think the idea of two women in love could be sweet. Like Ellen de Generes and Portia de Rossi! I am very much a fan of them! (hah, I knew I had an example around here somewhere)
But again, because I'm me, it would help if they were pretty. It would also really help me if they showed feelings of actual love - that stupid dreamy smile from Hahn is so not going to cut it, show - and not jumping right to the topic of sex while dancing around exclamations of "ew, this is weird!" Precisely BECAUSE this is their first relationship with another woman, they should be going EXTRA slow. There is no more perfect time, save high school, to explore their feelings for one another and let them deepen (*retches* From the cheese, I mean) with sex only as a distant possibility. Think about it.
Now pardon me while I drop to my knees and say a quick prayer of thankfulness that I haven't had to watch them get naked with each other yet.
In a related note, I kind of wish Bailey had stopped at "I don't talk about sex. With anyone," not only because I enjoy watching Callie look humiliated by the consequences of her loose lips, but also because it pains me that Bailey gave her the courage to move forward. You know, I get that the reason Bailey is awesome is that she'll find ways to help people when she can, sometimes using awesome metaphors about Africa to get around distasteful topics (thereby helping without sacrificing her personal comfort zone, WIN), but...
In another semi-related-note, I'd sort of managed to will the idea of Cristina/Callie living together out of existence as long as I didn't have to see it, but then this episode slapped me in the face with it. Ugh. There is no reason for them to be moving into a brand-new place together; no reason at all. How are they even friends?
McDreamy, and Similar
OK, Derek. I know I'm On Your Side and all, so let me give you some helpful tips. When you are lounging naked in bed, waiting for Meredith, and her roommate knocks on your door? You do not get up and answer said door with nothing but a pillow placed conspicuously over your crotch. You say something to the effect of "Hang on, I'm getting dressed" and PUT ON SOME DAMN CLOTHES. A t-shirt and boxers, even; it's not that hard. A pillow over the crotch only implies that you have something you couldn't hide with clothes anyway. (oh God. How much were you thinking about Meredith joining you while lounging naked in bed?)
And...really? That sight doesn't make Alex bat so much as an eyelash? Not even a quip about how he doesn't need any services, thanks?
(Speaking of Alex, NO. No, as much as it thrills me to hear Ava mentioned, especially in the context of Emotionally Messing Him Up, that does not get to be an excuse for his example of raging ass-holish-ness towards Izzie. And you ESPECIALLY do not get to use Abusive Husband logic along the lines of "I take it out on you because you let me use you as a doormat." *rolls eyes and puts on simpering voice* Silly viewers, it's Izzie's fault that he's mean to her! Man, Alex should try out for Survivor someday. Jeff Probst would LOVE him. In the meantime, I do not, and he repulses me.)
I like how I just snuck that in as one giant parenthetical aside, because I'm not done talking about Derek. I didn't mind the thing with the diary, because I figured Mer would end up reading it at the end - I'm just impressed that he wasn't curious about it at *all*.
I did mind that this episode was a perfect illustration of why moving in with someone before marriage, while there are many rational reasons for it, strikes me pointless. No matter how much you talk about "our" life, you're moving into *their* space, and there's no formal or official proclamation that you intend it to be a permanent arrangement...it's just a little awkward. More so because I don't feel like Derek spends all his time there, anyway - I can see living together as a convenience factor, but with the aforementioned "frat house" feel, it doesn't seem like *their* space and so it seems strange to have him suddenly utilizing the other rooms like they're his. Which...they are, but they aren't. Is that at all clear?
I loved Derek refusing to let go his trailer because he knew he might need to move back into it at some point, though. Good man. Realistic expectations.
Oh! And speaking of the diary: as we discussed on CSI: Miami last week, I can't help the urge to transcribe texty things, no matter how placid or mundane, because I love when the props department makes that extra effort. And since this episode didn't have idiotic dancing text and clipart all over the shot of the first page, I could do that without interruption as far as the eye could see.
Oct. 13, 1977
I haven't slept in three days. My first (something -statomy) on Monday. It should have been nothing. I was so prepared. Overprepared, if anything. The damn patient's septic. There's no reason for it. Nobody sneezed. Nobody dropped anything. Clean in, clean out. Stable post-op. The next morning, temp spiked to 104. Unresponsive to antibiotics.
And now you know.
Final Derek-related note: ANGRY WARNING IS HOT. Especially if you've been extremely mild mannered prior to that point. I always like when this show highlights the maturity gap between him and Meredith's group. Of course, then it just makes me miss when M/D had Burke & Cristina to hang out with...
The Mythical Land of Dermatology was one of the best things I have ever seen on this show. I was in stitches, alternately laughing my ass off and just being charmed in enchanted wonder as one by one, it sucked the women under its spell and they spent hours gazing around at all the impossible delights. Constant massages! Water with raspberries! People getting TOO MUCH sleep! All of it, love.
(By the way, I'm pretty sure that fire alarm Duncan pulled came out of Dermatology. In what universe does pulling on a fire alarm equal a sound no more aggravating than a siren on the road, and a computer voice saying "Evacuate. Evacuate," as opposed to EARDRUM-BREAKING BLASTS OF BUZZING?)
Also love: George being the most wonderful, patient combination of doctor and teacher as he connected with the little boy and found ways to calm his fears about the hospital/his pending surgery (heck, he even connected with the mother). I...don't remember ever seeing his way with kids so prominently highlighted before. Might George be leaning in the direction of pediatrics? (or whatever its surgical equivalent is; there are children's hospitals, right?) BECAUSE THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN.
Turns out I'm upset he passed his intern exam, though, because the first thing he did was completely ditch Lexie and not even notice how much he hurt her. CONFLICT: OUCH. But "squee" in a way that might set this up for better payoff later.
Speaking of other things I didn't like, OH MY GOD. THE FACE SURGERY. WHY. I got queasy off the computer model alone; seeing the actual surgery - I don't know; it's less scream-worthy than needles in the eye and less gross than spurting blood or vomit, yet somehow I think it might have been the most horrific and nauseating thing ever seen on this show. And when the kid saw it!! Words can't express how relieved I was that it didn't send him into a psychotic break on the spot.
There are probably more, but I think I am done now. I've written quite a lot, and I'm sure that when I transfer this from Notepad to the post-editing window, I will only be more horrified by my verbosity. (and/or angry about why I can't translate this to *actual* essays)
And back a tick For Warrick
For the third year in a row, CSI has come up with an incomprehensibly amazing premiere that blows the competition out of the water. It's proving to be quite a talent of theirs. Finales they fail at, lately, but they know how to pull off premieres like nobody's business. For evidence, I present the fact that this episode aired on October 9th and it took me a week to work up the nerve to watch it, and longer than that to begin wrapping my head around it. Words constantly sputtered and died on the tip of my tongue, utterly deserting me. Ninth time's the charm?
Part of me almost wanted the Undersheriff to get away with it - not forever, just for part of the season - because it was so chilling to watch him hover around the scene, right there, so close!, and none of them having the slightest inkling that he was behind it. I can only imagine what would have come from them feeling satisfied about putting Pritchard away (or possibly killing him during a standoff, but still feeling assured of closure), and then months later uncovering a clue that that brought their error to sickened realization. How much worse if they'd continued to cooperate and work with him during all that time?
But by the halfway point, I had changed my mind and was glad they wrapped this up swiftly. Packed to the brim with emotion, this episode needed to find release both for the characters and the viewer. It got a conclusive ending. Possibly because we're going to need all season to pick up the pieces and recover. Some of us won't even make it that far. *cough foreshadowing character departure*
I talked a lot about the promo when it first aired - it's back in the archives here, somewhere, tagged under "spoilers" - and basically everything I anticipated came true. I'm glad Warrick didn't die instantly (horrible as that sounds) because having Grissom there to pull him from the car and be there in the last moments, pleading desperately for him to hold on, was without a doubt the most emotionally powerful thing I've ever seen on this show. Forget saving Nick, forget saving Sara - losing Warrick sinks in far deeper. Deeper still when you realize this is Grissom's third race against the clock to save a life, only this time there's no relief.
(I swear I have not been reading a lot of Jacob recaps at TWoP lately.)
I didn't read any of the spoilers for this episode, except that Sara was returning, so other than the promos shown on TV I had no idea what was happening. So, in less philosophical wording... "NOOOOOOO! Not the cradling in the boss's arms! Why are you doing this to me?! I still haven't recovered from watching this on CSI: Miami! AND THAT WAS FOUR YEARS AGO." Panicky!Grissom, scared and desperate, is a distressing thing to witness. Possibly one of the hardest scenes I've ever had to watch in my life. Also definitely the best performance of William Petersen's life. I'm going to go sob in a corner now.
Let's pretend there is no horribly intrusive theme song (can't they ever scrap it? Just once?)...and continue weeping over the next scene. Nick just devastated and Catherine rapidly falling apart...oh my God, poor Catherine...and Greg randomly not there ("WTF, show." I was kind of pissed about that until they gave me a good explanation), but the expression of bewilderment on Grissom's face, just "Why?", kills me. The numb silence as he sits next to Warrick's covered body, shirt front completely soaked in blood and apparently oblivious to the world around him, is the worst thing of all.
Though the weepy lab rats (Mandy! Bobby! Archie!) all huddled together for support did a number on me too. I like seeing this ripple effect over the lab. Original CSI: kicking even Good Miami's ass on the emotional goldmine market. (crap, and I almost forgot how lost Greg looks when he comes in, voice a little thick, begging for something to do)
It almost feels inappropriate to squee over Sara's return, but...SQUEE! SARA'S BACK! And wow, San Francisco is not doing anything for her fashion sense. The hair, the clothes, I'm not sure she could look frumpier if she tried. (the hair, man. It's like a little old grandma. I always thought anything but a pixie bob would be better than the uneven layers she's been sporting for the past few years, but I was wrong.)
But I will overlook all that in the face of my True and Proper GSR Embrace. This is all I've ever wanted, show. Ever since the season 6 finale, all I've wanted (besides a sweet kiss, which I figured was asking too much until such time as the show ended and/or they left together) was a hug like this. It's true: I forgive them killing Warrick to get me this hug. Sara sniffling on Grissom's shoulder > Warrick's life. (I'm sure he'll be pleased to hear that) Not the ideal equation, but permissible. This part went through many rewinds and pauses for gazing sessions.
Just, the look on his face when he walks up to her, like he can't believe she's real. Closing his eyes as he holds her, or she holds him - I'm not really sure who needs more support at the moment - there is just so much relief and this need for an anchor (more specifically, his anchor), having something stable in the face of everything else (lalala IGNORING EPISODE TWO AND/OR SPOILERS OF DOOM) and to be an anchor, I think my eyes are rolling back in my head from a pleasure overdose. Oh thank God, there's an act break.
Holy mother of God, I was fine with that much. But then it continued and we got to hear their subsequent conversation...okay, hold up. It's always been hard to find visual proof of why they're one of my favorite ships, especially in comparison to other, cuddlier ones, because so much of their relationship is built on the nuances and the intriciacies of their past encounters. The pre-break scene remedied that situation nicely. Even setting aside the fact that she's holding his hand between hers (SQUEE), the post-break scene here does a beautiful job of illustrating the mental and emotional connection that I was talking about before.
There's nothing awkward and nothing extra, it's just this beautiful, uncensored expression of feelings, quiet but raw. "Tell me." (two words never conveyed so much) And he does, reticient Grissom with his solitude and penchant for closing himself off, describes it all without hesitation, and Sara knows exactly how to respond. Then we get to "he loved you/I loved him" and really, at that point I was letting off little whimpers of misery. "Why do you have to kill me with love??"
AND THEN. Then, because the show has packed enough emotional beating and/or paralyzing joy into the first quarter alone, the rest of the team comes in, and there are Sara hugs all around, where I'm particularly focused on (*shields GSR part of brain*) SARA/GREG, HI, HELLO! There is another part of me that will just never let go of my deep affection for what could have been there. *eyes glaze over in joy* Also, um, Sara/Nick. Less shippy, more in the way he gives her such a strong hug that I remember anew how much I've always adored their sibling-like relationship.
And you know, as long as I'm in a shallow place, I might as well use the opportunity to fan myself at how hot Nick looks with his dark looks and Set Jaw of Determination.
OK, Warrick's kid. WOW, WHERE DID THAT COME FROM, WHAT? I had completely forgotten about Tina being pregnant, and only dimly recalled it at this point because I was frowning to myself about how he suddenly had no family - like, really, Tina wouldn't care at all? But it was still pretty jolting to see him on tape talking about how much he wanted custody for his son. I do so love when those epic storylines take place in the background! /minor sarcasm. No, really, I could complain about heaping on extra tragedy just for the hell of it, but I'm too distraced by the tape. Which is actually quite touching for a while, but then suddenly gives me a line of BS about how Warrick would have picked Grissom for his own father, if he'd had the choice.
What? Are they really that far apart in age? Well, er, possibly it's a couple of decades, but still. That's just a tiny bit clingier than I thought, and the schmaltzy saccharine Hallmark sweetness leaves a sour taste in my mouth
I pretty much pushed Eli out of my head after that. I hope the writers do too, because I'd hate to meet him again a couple of years from now when he's a petulant preteen found dead on the Strip.
Then there was a large chunk of episode where I didn't think much at all, I was just gripped by the chase to catch the undersheriff and the suspense of "how will they find him," and then all of a sudden we're watching a shaking, infuriated Nick standing over him with weapon pointed. This was hard to watch too, but also welcome because when you think about it, we've been getting our grief channeled mostly through Grissom, when really there should be just as much or more from Nick. Best friends and all. Instead, he's poured himself into the case with grim determination, and it all comes to a head here.
Cannot lie, I was really worried Nick was going to shoot the idiot. It happened in All Fall Down when Matthew Flowers killed Greg! Luckily, he manages to channel all that rage into a shot elsewhere. Good for him.
And oh, the funeral scene. Grissom breaking makes me cry. I got through Warrick's death (somehow); I got through Catherine's tears and Nick's wordless misery and even Sara with him in the office, but Grissom choking up and falling apart during the eulogy was what finally got me to start crying. The solitary tear trailing down Nick's cheek didn't help (SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS HE GOING TO DO WITHOUT HIM? A character has never more badly needed a love interest in his life). *wibbles*
EMOTIONAL DESTRUCTION: COMPLETE. *collapses*
P.S. Fic Writing Assignment: Tell the story behind the team hanging out in that photograph they found in Warrick's room, and feel free to notice that Grissom's arm is around Sara. Bonus points if you incorporate the Grand Tetons.