Drat it, it feels like the weekend has barely started, and yet here it is - pretty much over. DRAT IT. Oh well, at least now I'm both well-rested and feeling a little less crazy-stressed for having pushed all these thoughts out of my brain and on paper. Well, virtual paper.
In which I take time into my own hands and follow a schedule of show-watching/discussing as it pleases me
1. CSI: Miami: 7x05, Bombshell
In my head, I've cooked up a scenario that is very much not OK with Horatio taking it from here, but because he has ambition and plans to move up, he knows it's just easier for all involved to follow Horatio's Law and bite his tongue. Because he is such an Upstanding Young Officer, however, he rolls with the punches and doesn't let it bother him.
2. Awesome Tech Girl. Not only does she get to come to scenes with her laptop, working out patterns and being awesome at her job, she has gorgeously thick black hair that cascades in waves down her back. I'm pretty sure that she is the prettiest woman on the show right now. Seeing Valera and her hideous peroxide blonde in the severe cut, after that, makes me cry.
Next, we'll go over the Continuing Adventures of the Crazy Caines. I'm pretty ticked off that they made Julia's financial advisor the bad hit-and-run guy. He started off being so NORMAL and RATIONAL - he says the truest words ever uttered about Julia, "I really think she's losing touch with reality," and I can't figure out why Horatio stays so grouchy and gives him Death Glares of Suspicion as he leaves. Was he not being extremely polite about the way he phrased it? Does the behavior he's describing in Julia not sound exactly like her? And then he decides that instead of, I don't know, going through legal channels to get the payments he has a legitimate claim to, he's just going to steal her car as collateral. Like, the hell, dude. Why did you have to suddenly take stupid pills?
Second, I'm pretty sure I have never LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE as when Horatio sees the neighbor fighting with Kyle, and he leaps out of the car yelling "Get off him!"...while drawing to a stop with his hands on his hips. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HEE HEE HEE, OMG, GASPING FOR BREATH RIGHT NOW. I've watched it like 8 times and it still cracks me up, all "Get your hands off my son! Or I shall be forced to glare at you most angrily!"
But aside from that? I had a breakthrough in this episode, as several glorious things happened in succession.
One: in the rest of that scene, if you forget anything prior to season 6, you can actually believe Horatio as Kyle's father. It actually sounds like parent-child interaction, especially in a context where the parents are divorced and the mother has had full custody for the last few years. He will keep this up throughout the episode, and I will go into paroxysms of glee at how they finally have a connection. I still think it's an entirely ridiculous connection for a kid who appeared out of nowhere a year ago, but at face value it's gold.
Two: Julia's breakdown in the house. It's the first time I have felt anything other than abject loathing for the woman. Not to say that I felt sorry for her, precisely? But her embittered "Is that you, John?" was a pretty refreshing perspective from the usual Saint Horatio one we get. (one which I have fully embraced and often endorsed, mind, but the contrast here was striking. Even his brushoff of "that was a long time ago, I was undercover" came out sounding pretty week). Or, then again, I wasn't quite sure how to read it - was she having a crazy flashback moment? In that case, it's an even more intriguing peek into their relationship way back when. Please tell me someone is writingabout this, in as canon-compliant a way as possible.
And when his impatient focus keeps returning to "Where is Kyle?", that's where the divorced-parents vibe hit hardest. Think I felt character love I hadn't experienced in months upon months when he looked at her, watching her fall to pieces not without compassion and a little bit of regret. That's the first time I've believed he might feel sorry for her.
Three: That gorgeous evidence-processing scene, hand pressed to his forehead in frustration, "I can't find anything to exonerate either one of them; if I don't that kid's going back to jail." OI! I let out a little scream of joy. Glimmers of old Horatio - returning! Devotion to family - not only apparent, but finally believeable! al;djfaklsdjfasdfasdf OMG HAPPY. And Eric there, too! To paraphrase CSI Files, it's so raw, so human, that I'm trying to figure out what sort of wild bribe or terrible blackmail they hit Caruso with to force out such a caliber of acting skill.
But oh, last scene. Beautiful last scene, where Horatio recovers all his humanity and more, and no matter how hard I try to find fault with it, past the initial posing arrival, I can't. He touches her. The man who for months has apparently forsworn all physical contact with humankind not only comes up behind her and places his hands on her shoulders, but bends down to press a long kiss to the top of her head. Fortunately I have infinite lives where fandom is concerned, because the shock and joy killed me stone-cold-dead.
And then, for the absolute first time ever where this show is concerned, I finally believed that they had a history. Not just objectively, as in the context of divorced parents, but an actual romantic connection, however brief and long ago. Not that I see sparks right here, mind. Oh no, it's long past and much quieter than that. But just that he still cares about her, in spite of everything (damn you, Saint Horatio, even I want to give her the benefit of the doubt now), makes me melt all over the place. The tiny wordless smiles at the end! Ack! I AM SLAYED. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MIAMI WHEN I'M NOT MOCKING IT.
(ooh, wait, fortunately I have the Super!Technology to take my angry mocking out on. I mean, really, dressing room acoutrements? Why the hell would anyone need a high-tech dressing room? Are the brains of today's youths so destroyed by the internet and text messaging that they can't imagine what they would look like on the beach without having a projection of it on the mirror? The ludicrousness of that thing actually made me sputter me more than the magical machine that sucks out and projects information from a cell phone as soon as you set it on its surface.)
Notes from the Celebration of Couleur Féminine Fashion Show
Not gonna lie, I was pretty giddy about the explosion of pink & purple this week. I mean, this aired in October, so it was about TIME they had their annual contribution to Breast Cancer Awareness, but when they threw purple in for kicks and giggles (and I mean on everyone, including the majority of the suspects and other background players - the teaser alone has it everywhere), I was ecstatic. Best Fashion Week EVER.
Calleigh: Rockin' a deep pink silk blouse, whose color is so exquisite that I can't even do justice to it. It's like pink tinged with another color, red or purple maybe, the addition of which doesn't actually show but which makes it something beyond pink. It's delightful. I want one.
Eric: Never let it be said that this man is afraid of his feminine side. After weeks of floral print and the recent butterfly highlight, now he struts out in a lavender button-down. LAVENDER. I am not even making this up. It's glorious.
Ryan: No one's more devoted to Breast Cancer Awareness than him. For the second year in a row, he shows up not only in a light pink shirt, but a matching tie.
Valera: One dark hot pink blouse, nice.
Tripp: Hee, pink tie.
Tara: Working a pink blazer that...could probably stand to have a shirt under it, but has a narrow/not-low-cut enough neck that we can't actually see anything resembling cleavage. I do hope she's not on a downward slide towards this reveal.
Awesome Tech Girl: I am extremely envious of the longsleeved purple top, with a white tank underneath. It's so...conservatively trendy!
Natalia: I've completely given up on her ability to dress in a non-cleavage-baring way. *waves hand dismissively* Shame, that light purple short-sleeve with the scoop neck could have been pretty with a white top underneath. Like Awesome Tech Girl's.
2. Pushing Daisies: 2x05, Dim Sum, Lose Some
So bored by this episode. SO BORED that by the halfway point, I actually could not sit through any more of the plot and had to go hop-skip-jumping to find the cute scenes. It's not that I don't love Simone, because I do, or even that I have any lingering resentment towards Bubblegum (because I don't - I decried her for being not-sufficiently-cute when it first appeared, but now I'm just all YAY, DOGGY! GO ANIMAL-LOVING WRITERS), it's just that the Chinese restaurant setting was so very irritating. By the time Chuck and Olive strolled up in their terrible wigs, it was like "Aaaaand, I'm done." Not even the fleeting image of Ned as a ridiculously endearing cowboy could tempt me to slow down.
The mention of "piss jitters" earned nothing but my angry wrath and glare of ire. Show, there's being cute about semi-swearing, and there's being flat-out crass.
I plan to be extremely annoyed by this whole "Awww, let's explore FAMILY and have NED CONNECT WITH HIS BROTHERS" storyline, because you know how aggravated I get with the idea of "family is the greatest thing in the world," especially when you're supposed to feel a magical connection with people you barely know or have never seen just because you're related. I threw a raging fit about it on Grey's Anatomy, and I don't plan to be much nicer here. The more the internet fawns about how cute his half brothers are, the deeper my resentment grinds.
I'm going to pretend the last scene didn't happen, and instead cling to a combination of Ned lashing out about his father getting all creative with names after dumping the baggage, and his snippy quote: "If I reach out to my brothers, I'm betting it will make my father feel good, wherever he is. I don't want that. If that seems petty and vindictive and small...think of it as an homage to my father and the tiny part of us that's the same."
All that being said, the episode is entirely redeemed for that part where after Chuck insists that everyone needs family, he automatically blurts "You're my family!" in a tone of something like bewilderment that this is not the most obvious fact in the world. Which is just so, so, so many levels of "aw" and "squee!" and "omg" that I can't even process them. So in love with her! And then when he gets embarassed and fumbles while trying to extend a similar overture to poor Olive sitting right there, it's so dorky and endearing that I fall in love all over again. I LIVE for little moments like this. Show retains my favor. What will I do this week without my whimsy fix? What if I'm all devastated by the election results and need something in my life to feel normal??
Also, I am not entirely ruling out the prospect of liking his brothers in the future. Just right now, they bug.
P.S. JIMMY JAMES! (I mean, um, Stephen Root. Who will always be Jimmy James in everything he does). He's kind of in my "Chi McBride: never not glorious" category of actors, and I plan to be delighted by his future appearances.
3. Numb3rs: 5x04
LMAO, The Fonz. His casting cracked me up way more than it should have. Charlie gets his clearance back, yay. Also, YIPPEE, LIZ! I still can't believe how I went from hating her to completely adoring her. Maybe Nikki's stay can be brief, like that unpleasant brunette on Cold Case before Kat Miller, and Liz can just slide into place as Megan's full-time replacement permanently? I need to desperately cling to this belief.
Loved David barely holding in laughter upon hearing Colby gallantly declare "The bureau frowns heavily upon fraternizing with potential witnesses."
Otherwise, the lack of Charlie/Amita cute made it a completely boring episode. My greatest emotional investment was getting all sentimental about Alan's love of the park. I was particularly offended by his sad admittance of the following statement.
Alan: Fighting to preserve it is selfish. Simple narcissism.
Me: ...yes. It's so selfish, and narcissistic, to prefer grass and picnic tables over, um, apartment buildings and parking lots. Yes. SO SELFISH. Oh, the plans include a park, really, a better one? A swimming pool and skate ramps make a better park than GRASS AND TREES? California is a messed-up place, and I remain dissatisfied with the conclusion to this storyline. Although I do approve of the father/son chat about Don's feelings of guilt in the very last scene.
Hi there, can you say KNOCK-OUT EPISODE? How about ONE HUNDRED EIGHTY DEGREE TURN-AROUND? BECAUSE THAT IS HOW I FEEL AFTER SEEING THIS. For reasons such as the following:
1. Charmita, always and forever. In everything. From the opening scene of strolling down the Cal Sci hallways with his arm around her shoulders, to the fact that their biggest spat in months is over conflicting theories* - so nerdy; their marital discord is fantastic - to his sweet apology via finding a way to incorporate her theory. Loved Alan grumpily reminding him "I think if I go through the trouble of throwing a New Year's party for Amita's parents, it would be really nice if you two were still dating." (and Charlie rolls his eyes at the ceiling knowing Wise Father Eppes is right), and THE END. HOLY LORD. Amita looking just absolutely gorgeous with that angelic smile in the elevator, and Charlie getting that stupid-in-love look he has every so often upon seeing her, and EEH, pretty pretty kissing
* = OK, so it was more about Amita taking legitimate offense to him trampling all over her idea and basically calling it wrong/not good enough/inferior to his idea. Which, I don't think he was exactly incorrect, but even he knows he went about it in an extraordinarily clumsy way. I love seeing that they both have to make attitude adjustments; she's getting a taste of having to make accomodations for genius, and he has keep the balance between overenthusiastic work and interpersonal relationships in check.
What I'm saying with all this is that they are ALWAYS going to be not only one of my top ships, but that I find them one of the most compelling relationships on TV. I always think I cannot possibly love them more, and then they keep kicking it up a level.
2. Angsty!Don. Yes, yes, I am very much on board with the emotional torture of watching not only agent die, but reaching out for the picture of his family at the end. I frankly thought that should have spurred him into Robin's arms at the end,
3. DAVID THE WISE. It was so freaking incredible to watch him connect with Emerson, and be able to get through to him and calm him down all the time when no one else could...and then that little glimpse into his background with "I had an uncle like that"...gah! *glomps*
4. Not until this minute did I realize it was Colby's turn to be absent. Meep.
5. What do you mean, "Oklahoma or Denver" for Liz's transfer? What? Did you mean to say "Nikki's transfer"? I WILL NOT TOLERATE LIZ SHIPPING OUT OF HERE. This is just misdirection, right? Right.
6. I love that when David bounces off the door 3 times in succession and they have to bring in LAPD to break it down, they use an ACTUAL SHOTGUN to blast it apart at the hinges. Ridiculously awesome.
7. Shutting up now before I actually explode with love at this episode.
8. Except for one thing - Charlie being totally terrified at having a gun put in his hands, managing to create an awesome diversion with it, and then still being kind of a pale and shaking wreck afterwards. Love.
5. Survivor doubleshot (episodes 6 & 7)
(I watched them back-to-back, and so my thoughts are all sort of jumbled together and mostly based on how I feel about
So, um, after all this...I kind of have this (very bad and wrong yet also) strange and desperate urge to read AU RPF about Ace & Sugar. Possibly set somewhere in the 60's or 70's, featuring a gritty part of New York and a sleazy photographer not quite taking advantage of, but somehow still being a little creepy, towards the wide-eyed small-town girl who waitresses by day and does the pin-up model thing by night. And how possibly after meeting and moving in with him, she can give up the waitressing thing because, well, clearly he's a sugar daddy. There are just...my head is like, exploding with potential ways this could go. Does she fall into drug use, not because he encourages her but because people they hang out with do it? And if so, would he dump her, try to save her, or just not really care because he takes a very Bohemian approach to relationships? Would she be the one in control, putting her natural smarts to use, or would she let the dazzle of the city slowly erode that sense of self? The possibilities are so endless and intriguing that I'm this close to just basing characters off these two, twisting and shaping it enough to make it original, and turning it into an actual short story.
In a related note, thrilled as I was when Marcus gave her immunity, I'm kind of upset that she turned on Ace and voted him out. Of all the people I'm sick of on Fang, Ace had suddenly, somehow, stopped being one of them! What will I do without HIS ACCENT TO MOCK? Someone on the TWoP boards said they felt cheated now that not only will we get to hear his pretentious speech to the jury in the final 2 or 3, we won't even get to hear a fantastic rant from him as a jury member! Which, DUDE, did not realize how much I was looking forward to that until I realized it wasn't going to happen. SUCK. And yeah, he probably would have screwed Sugar over at some point and I'd rather keep her than him, but...she also just turned on her biggest ally at the moment - look around you, sweetie, nobody else has any investment in keeping you, and some *cough Matty* were actively lobbying for your ousting!
Holy mother of God, those are some long paragraphs.
Speaking of Matty, after several long weeks of intensely disliking him, I'll be damned if he didn't win me over with all that loving talk of "his girl." Darn you! Between the boyfriendly devotion and the being the only one worth his salt on the whole tribe, it's hard to remember why I don't like him! OK, repeat to self: partied away an entire trust fund, partied away an entire trust fund...yep, that helps.
I'm losing my love for Crystal. A lot of people really seem to hate her, and the internet is waaaay too obsessed with her status as a former Olympic gold medalist, but that's not what bugs me. I want to keep liking her, but her...well, attitude...tends to be a little offputting. She's getting too intense for me.
You know who I haven't lost love for? BOB! OH MY GOD, BOB!! After he broke down howling over the letters from home - seriously, I think I've only heard dogs make sounds like that before - how can you not want to just wrap him up hugs? I think I might have cried a little. Best moment between both episodes; I had to rewind it more than a couple of times. Enh! That plus the fact that he's all proud of having been a log-rolling champ in college is just, I don't even know what to do with all the ways he is Awesome. I might have to make it my life's mission to get his autograph. Also, I think he should write a book about what has clearly been a fascinating life. PAY MORE ATTENTION TO HIM, MEDIA. Actually, that goes for you too, Kota.
Dear Kota Core Four: WHY THE )(%#*%)(#*%# HAVE YOU REPLACED BOB WITH RANDY IN YOUR LITTLE ALLIANCE? WTH IS THIS NONSENSE? ASS-BACKWARDS, YOU ARE. Randy is just so disgustingly horrible, I desperately need him voted out now. I don't care if he's gone all unexpected-challenge-monster; Bob is pretty damned impressive too!
I have no particular feelings about Kelly being voted out - very MEH. Not sure how I feel about Dan. He was starting to make me feel physical pain with his embarassingly desperate need to be liked, so on that hand I'm glad, but on the other...I dunno; Susie is starting to bug me. Normally I love the nice quiet older women, but I really don't want her to be on the jury or anything. That would be really boring.
Also, Corrinne is an evil bitch, and I tired of her yesterday.
1. Sugar's constant return to Exile Island is...I dunno, sort of delightful. I mean, I'm sure she's getting a little upset at feeling like the other tribe just despises her, but she also gets to chill out and stuff herself with fruit. Part of me thinks that the producers are getting sick of watching her enjoy herself, and are probably even now plotting to scrap the "comfort" option from future seasons.
2. The elephant behind Ace in his confessional! FANTASTIC.
3. The tied-together obstacle course through the woods was pretty exciting. I'm just shocked that no one managed to smash their face open or impale themselves on a sharp stick at any point. The producers were probably disappointed too. What kind of follow-up to Fans vs. Favorites is this?
4. If I wasn't already, I am now hooked on this show as one of my favorite weekly offerings.
I'm pretty sure that covers everything I've watched in the last 10 days except The Office & a doubleshot of ER. All three broke my brain with greatness, so they may or may not be forthcoming tonight.
P.S. I'm sorry, but even if I wasn't perfectly happy with Michelle Bachman, I would have a hard time casting my serious vote for El Tinklenberg. I mean, how unfortunate a name is that? I just burst out in uncontrollable laughter every time I see it. It's like some terrible comic book superhero (or villain, take your pick)'s moniker. "Beware...of...El Tinklenberg!! Swiftly does he come out of the night!" At the same time, it also conjures up images of fairies and/or bladder control issues, so you can see why I have problems with it on multiple levels.
(Humor: it is my surprisingly effective strategy for being much less annoyed by the political ads on TV this year than usual)
P.S. #2: Why didn't anyone ever tell me about Sweet Diss & The Comebacks? I've been in fandom for over a year, and I'm only just now discovering the delight of "Dunder & Dwightning"? This is such an awesome song, people. I tend to be somewhat leery of songs written about fandom - see also, general mistrust of wizard rock - but the melody on this one is too great to ignore.