And because I rarely use the giant font text for anything happy...
I am paused at 19:21, two minutes from the end, because I physically cannot take listening to this anymore. Lame Mad Men Dude is all -- all -- "if you really want be an artist" -- warning, starting to shake with anger and spit my words to the point where I can't even form coherent phrases out loud anymore, just a series of RRRRRRRR AAAAAAAARGHHHHH HHISSSSSS sounds --
PAM YOU ARE THE WORST. FUCK YOUR STUPID -- FUCKING -- ART DREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK.
I HATE NEW YORK.
THERE. I SAID IT. I HATE IT AND IT'S HORRIBLE AND NOTHING WHIPS ME INTO A FROTHING FURY LIKE THE IDEA OF PAM AND/OR JIM LEAVING SCRANTON FOR THERE. And her %#&*%#^*#(#%&*(#%&*(#%&#*()%&*(#%*(#&%*(
Is she ever going to be the receptionist again? Is she ever even going to set foot in the title location of the show again? I'm just, I actually went all Andy-Bernard in my rage and kicked over a chair when I leapt up and couldn't stand the conversation anymore. I screamed into a pillow to vent my frustration, and now I'm so furious I'm on the verge of tears.
JKDFAHDFAJKSDHFJKASDFASDF. ANGRY KEYBOARD SMASH OF RAGE.
ARGH! The irony is that today in class, I was musing on why I always picture Pam with her pre-season-4 hair whenever I read stories about them, and I realized I don't just dislike FNB, my mind kept settling on the part last episode where she goes "The absolute best" in that incredibly obnoxious voice, and I was suddenly overcome with a red screen of stabbing ANGER. Possibly by virtue of her being off screen so much, Show Pam and the Pam in my head seem to have taken a sharp divergence of character. Show-wise, I'm pretty sure that I have reached a point where I actually hate Pam right now, and if not for the fact that I desperately love Jim being in love with her, I would be happy to see her written completely off the show.
I think the kicker was watching Jim's face during that part of the conversation. That's where the ire really swells up, because damn it, HE IS BUYING HIS PARENTS' HOUSE FOR YOU. And now, because he's Jim and he's so obsessed with a) keeping her and b) being the antithesis of Roy that he bends over backwards to support her regardless of anything he's leaning towards, he's going to sacrifice whatever plans he had in favor of what's best for her; I can just see him moving up there. And theoretically, the show cannot take this arc there because they can't lose two of the main leads from the main scene, but they've been having a merry old field day sacrificing one of them, and I'm starting to believe they're just insane enough to try two.
I hate this season. Have I mentioned that? I hate it. A lot. Especially after the first part of this episode was so hysterical, getting me to roar with laughter and flail with joy all at once, that I was almost ready to forgive all of the season's previous transgressions.
I'm going to watch the last 2 minutes now, and so help me God, if it somehow manages to get worse, I'm gonna have to leave the lounge before I throw the chair through the window.
Edit the First: So it ended. And Lame Mad Men Dude (I know his name, I just refuse to use it on principle, because LMMD is so much more fun to say) pretended he didn't just DESTROY TWO WORLDS. And god, you know, I still can't watch the end of Job Fair, with that horribly twisty ending tag where this whole goddamn mess started, because even in the middle of summer without many spoilers, I couldn't shake the horrible sick feeling of dread it produced? THIS SCENE IS GIVING ME THE SAME DREAD.
Edit the Second: Also, I hate that she so lamely offers up "Jim's in Scranton" as her excuse, as if she has no other ties whatsoever to the place. I hate what that implies - like if he just moved up there, all the problems would be solved. Which, no! SCRANTON: IT IS GREATER THAN NEW YORK.
Edit the Third: *clings to pissed!Jim as a tiny ray of hope for 3 reasons*
One, because it's still hot in any context, so I'm appreciating the moment.
Two, because maybe he won't bend over as far backwards as I thought (you had a discussion about engagement! discuss this! aren't you just about due for another Grand Romantic Gesture, sir? I want to hear the part where you make a sweeping speech about wanting to support her, honestly, you've always wanted all the best for her and still do, but the separation is killing you, and there's a house waiting, and New York is not the only place in the world with culture*, and so on and so forth; PLEASE GET THROUGH TO HER. You've been very good at this in the past!)
[* = seriously, I am so sick of everyone acting like no one outside the boundaries of New York has ever heard of the word "art" before.]
Three, maybe Jim will break up with her! That's always been the worst case scenario, right, them breaking up? The one I wouldn't hear of under any circumstances, wouldn't entertain the notion for even half a second? Suddenly I would not only be fine with it, I REALLY WANT IT TO HAPPEN. No, really. He's too good for her. I WOULD BE SO EXCITED IF THEY TOOK A BREAK, YOU GUYS. I would throw parties and declare a day of amnesty for my Andy-hate and everything.
God, I hate Pam. I tend to have lifelong loyalty to shows and ships and things, I really do, but when I turn on something I turn scary-fast and with scary-deep vehemence.
I'm going to go throw up now; maybe that will help.
P.S. There was a time, there was, when I thought I could rein in my desperate desire for 50's-family-nostalgia and be cool with her exploring her art and stuff, even taking this sabbatical to Pratt so long as she was also engaged/married and possibly planning a family within a few years (HEY. That is an improvement over my innate desire to see a breadwinner/homemaker model). But no. The harder they beat me over the head with her ~*growth*~, the more I violently reject and resist it in any way, shape or form. Screw you, "individual autonomy"!
Edit the Fourth: Three hours later and my feelings have not abated in the slightest. That's twice in two weeks now I've worked myself into such a state of frenzy. This is exhausting. It also cannot possibly be healthy to care this much.
Screw it. I'm spoiling myself for CSI too. Not watching, just spoiling. (or so is the plan)
Based on what I can glean from the internets, I'm pissed off. But subtly. I think I'm too tired and worn out from hating The Office to care enough about this anymore. Go, Sara, go. Run away. That's what you do, isn't it? Apparently, 2008 is about destroying every ship I have ever loved. At this rate, I'm down to one functioning OTP, so Charlie and Amita should spontaneously combust by mid-January if not sooner, right? *is bitter*