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Irritated RS is Irritated

You know what, fanficrants, I THINK THIS IS PRETTY.  I give up on trying to explain why.  Can we go back to mocking terrible euphemisms for sex and people who admit up front that their writing sucks now? 

Let's talk about things that made me happy instead.

NCIS, 6x10, "Roadkill"
ibeatyou.com is my new crack.

Yep, I'm pretty sure that was the best part of the episode.  Not that it was a bad one per se, but it's December and they need a lull to recover from an explosive high power one, so I'll let them have their Fight Club antics (*snores quietly*).  Only little moments to pull out, then:

* NO VANCE = VICTORY DANCE.  Perhaps without pants.  Why do you look at me askance?  I could keep this up for a while, perchance.

* I did appreciate the continuity with Gibbs' fading black eye and healing cut.  As well as the continuity of Tony shuddering and complaining "Why is it always rats?" when they wandering about the dark and deserted ship.  Because I was just thinking that.  I'm also thinking that I would find it hi-larious if Tony ever had a kid who brought home a rat for a pet.

* Abby!  Prodding McGee to invent scenarios of Gibbs vs. ? fights she'd like to see.  Such as Gibbs vs. Gibbs Clone.  Also loved her jumping and spinning when he came up right behind her.

* Gibbs asking them to "decrypt it" when they pull up an ordinary chat room log.  XD

* Tony/Ziva!  Highly enjoyed the close-talking conversation about how in her world you grow up very quickly because you have no choice/ "Now you do." 

* Ziva, you disappoint me. You're better than stupid air guitar nonsense.  On the very odd chance that you feel a need to act silly and childish (which in my opinion, no one actually needs to do), you express it by writing crack!fic.  Or playing Dance Dance Revolution, if you're good enough not to make a fool of yourself.  The point is that anything that makes you look foolish is not an appropriate channel for silliness.  Even if there's no one around to see it.

Pushing Daisies, 2x08, "Comfort Food"
I think this might have been my favorite episode of the season.  Just all kinds of incredible.  And for all the fit-throwing I've done about this show getting cancelled, it wasn't until I was watching this, and just having my breath taken away by the magic and whimsy and wonder (even the teaser!  With Young Ned!), that the reality of it started to sink in.  It didn't get very far before it met the usual resistance of "this cannot be happening to such a deserving show."  Because it is like holding a gun to a puppy's head and pulling the trigger.  Only a sick and twisted individual would do such a thing.

I. Spooning
I have been waiting since July for those spoilers about Ned and Chuck spooning to come true.  As of last week, I had given up hope on ever seeing it, and resigned myself to nothing more than a tiny hope that I might still one day be surprised.  I was really kind of banking on that hope, though.  And then I got spoiled 24 hours before I watched the episode.  *headdesk* 

But that's OK, because SPOONING SPOONING SPOONING YAY!  I officially declare Chuck's moving out to be null and void, and pretend that she has returned to her proper place in his their room.  Now in the same bed!   I just, alksdjflak;sjdf, words cannot express my happiness with this.  It almost, almost is enough to placate me on their not being able to touch, since spooning occupies at least 45% of my shippy daydreams.  I would have said 75%, but then I stopped to think about the sheer volume of shippy daydreams my brain contains, and...well, it was a lot.

I'm not sure why I couldn't conjure up the mental image of what this contraption would look like beforehand, but now that I have seen it (for a disappointingly brief time), my brain is busy thinking of all the modifications that could be made to it.  An additional sleeve going the other way, for example.  Perhaps a thin cloth covering to make it slightly more user-friendly; I can't imagine it's very nice to feel plastic against your bare skin all those hours.  How you could apply this design in a more, I don't know, horizontal way and HI BRAIN, THIS IS FAMILY SHOW, SO WE'LL BE STOPPING THERE.

Still.  Cannot get over the endless explosion of delight those 18 seconds bring.  It does my heart a world of good to finally see him all wrapped around her (or well, with one arm anyway, close enough!  The obscuring blanket gives the illusion of more!).  I love that she has his hand between hers, and I'm pretty sure I squealed when she drops a kiss on it as she slips away, because that's the kind of contact that, while still separated by a thin layer, kind if didn't seem possible back in the early days.  I need this show's writers to stretch my brain!  Is there a master list of fan theories for ways they can touch without touching, by the way?  I know at least one writer mentioned gloves...

Anyway.  Right now I'm busy imagining how fantastic a surprise it must have been the first time he showed it to her.  I feel slightly cheated that we were not privy to this scene.  Make it up to me, fic writers.    And now that I'm done cooing over that scene and how much I love them and reaffirming that I need them in my life for always...

Charles Plot
C'MERE, CHUCK, I NEED TO HIT YOU IN THE HEAD WITH A SHOVEL.  What were you thinking, woman?  I don't even care that you permanently undeaded your father and cost someone else their life; what I care about is the fact that you were there in the middle of a dark and stormy night, and if not for the happy coincidence of Dwight Dixon being there, the cemetery would have been deserted and so you know which innocent person would have gotten hit by random proximity?  NED.  NED WOULD HAVE DIED.  (assuming he's not somehow immune to its properties.  In which case the other option was you, if made-alive-again people aren't immune)  STUPID, STUPID, STUPID.  I don't care how caught up in the moment you were; there is no excuse for not being able to run that through your head.

Also: shouldn't Charles Charles have looked, well, considerably worse after being dead for 20 years?  Possibly close to skeletal?  Someone answer me before I go on a Google bender trying to account for differences between the 8 frillion murder victims on my peck o' crime shows and embalmed bodies prepared for burial.  Oh wait, too late.  Man, I'm more confused than ever now.

Let's all pause for a moment to mourn Jimmy James Dwight Dixon.  What a waste.  What - a - waste.  :(  If I didn't know this damn series was ending on a cliffhanger, I might be relived that it looked like they were trying to wrap up loose ends, but..yeah, I think I'm just sad about this.  I'm not really looking forward to having Mr. Charles hanging around forever, feeling as I do about extraneous family members.  Also, dude, you'd better learn to be supportive of your daughter's relationship right quick.  I realize that a second ago she was nine years old, but get your brain up to speed.

*desperately needs next episode to see the continuation of how Ned reacts to Chuck's secret*  Personally, I am hoping for yelling.  I want to see a blowup.  Of course, knowing this show, it will skip ahead an hour and only show us the aftermath, because it's stupid like that.  (*cough* Corpsicle.)

Secret-Secret
Meanwhile, as far as her secret-keeping throughout the episode...aw, "I love being busy because of you."  Poor Ned, all gutted at the idea that she might need an emotional snow day from him.  And I'm just gonna go over here and shoot off fireworks to symbolize my joy with the fact that "I've never been so in love with you" can just slip out of her mouth like a routine thing now.  Also, *hugs Ned*  "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.  I mean, you do, eventually..." 

Also love her going to Emerson.
Chuck: I need your help.
Emerson: Friend-help or pay-help?  (Chuck bows her head and looks down)  See that?  That's the kind of body language you don't hear with pay-help. 

Emerson: First of all - blow.  Second - just, relax.
Chuck: You're not mad at me?
Emerson: HELL YEAH I'M MAD, I'M STEAMED, FURIOUS, RED HOT AND DON'T THINK I AIN'T GONNA YELL AT YOU LATER.  But for now, let's just...put our heads together and try to figure out what to do.

Case/Pie Competition
Quote blocks, to start, because I pretty much ignored the case.  It existed only because the show's format says it has to, and I'm pretty sure everyone (including the writers) acknowledged that fact.

Olive: Isn't it good to be back again?  Just you and me, shoulder to shoulder, eye to eye.  Decorative hats fixed squarely on brows, bonding in the fiery kiln of competition that forges mens' souls! --
Ned: We're baking pie, Olive.

Buffalo Muffin Lady: Working awful hard for a disappointment over there!
Olive: *beams sweetly* I'm going to win that blue ribbon, wrap it around her neck, and strangle her with it.
Ned:  (aghast) Olive, you're baking with hate!

Now, may I just say that revenge-minded Olive is THE SINGLE GREATEST SIDE OF OLIVE I HAVE EVER SEEN?  She cracked me up the whole way through, between her gestures and her impassioned speeches and her...yeah, even her singing ticked me off less than usual this time, despite the terrible lip-synching I have never noticed before, because it was kind of a pretty song.  (though I still don't much like her voice, or having characters sing at all) In short, Olive is Love.

Ned/Olive
Speaking of which, HEY, I AM SO THERE.  And I appreciate this show's willingness to indulge both my ships at once.  First they throw these two in a locked trunk together with their faces about three inches apart, and then they give me images I just cannot write down without making them sound even dirtier.  I like how this show makes me feel better about having dirty thoughts.  *is still sniggering like a 12-year-old over Ned breaking them out of the trunk*  I just...how do you even direct a scene like that?  What I really appreciate is Ned's random loss of language, causing him to replace words with various sounds of uh, ah, and ooh.  You know, just in case the visual didn't get the point across clearly enough.

In much purer and more serious shippiness, though, eeeeeeeeh, when they win!  Look at their hands!  Look at her little tiny hand against his much bigger one and how adorably and wonderfully they fit!  And his terribly sweet smile!  1900's AU...returning to foreground...

Bits I Forgot
-That's two episodes in a row without Digby, show.  Unforgivable.

-Is it bad if my mind took the rifle trained on the gravesite, and immediately ran off to cherish an AU in which there is no hesitation and Dwight shoots Chuck first, hits Ned when he leans over her in a panic, and they're found the next day with Ned sprawled on top her in a grim parody of protection?  ...and was weirdly comforted by this image? 

It's just that whenever I think about them for too long, I get troubled by the logistics of Chuck not aging, i.e. unable to die of natural causes (well, I suppose there's always illness...maybe?), and how the longer she lives the greater discrepancy in their ages, and it'll just be sad if she's still the blush of youth and he's an old man.  Anyway, in my frustration over their inability to touch, I end up consoling myself with the idea that dammit, there will be an afterlife for them and it will be magical, and so my brain usually skips straight to that afterlife.  So I thought, hey, if this show didn't have to exist for five more episodes (and then the damnable interminibility of a possible "comic books," God, the hatred, why did they have to introduce that as a possibility), that would be a poetic way to close.  Tragic, but no more tragic than is inherent in their relationship anyway.  

I am really, really fond of this alternate ending and may need to cling to it come unfair-series-finale time.  No, it wouldn't really fit the tone of the show, but my brain has no restrictions.
-----------
Numb3rs, 5x09, "Conspiracy Theory"
It took this episode a little while to get off the ground (no, the explosion of gunfire at the end of the teaser did not prevent it from dragging), but once it picked up the pace, it was scorching.  Loved the heated - no pun intended - arguing between Rosencrantz and Guildenstern about the differing accounts of the Kennedy assassination.  And how, after recieving the counsel of Wise Papa Eppes, they decide to cool and retreat to separate corners.

Better yet, all our best characters were in play - including the rotating support staff of both Liz and Robin! - and Nikki was not.  Can there be a better conglomeration?  No, there cannot.  Stage thus set, we can move on to talk about how I paid squat attention to the case except to be really bugged by how I couldn't remember where I'd seen the curly haired kid before.  *glowers at IMDB in confusion*  Really?  The previews for "The Rocker" were that pervasive?  *gasps* OH DUH, "Back to You."  Right.  That series was only last year!  I must have blocked its badness from memory.

Oh, and also, while I enjoy the way this show pokes fun at its mathy explanations sometimes (Liz anticipating an analogy and jumping the gun to prompt "Imagine...?"), the penguin-vision, and Charlie wrapped up in a fur parka thing, broke my brain.

Next we can talk about the Don/Robin quasi-fight over his newfound interest in religion...I don't know; once she spurng the quote of "Fear of God isn't the beginning of wisdom, it's the end," I got annoyed.  And I'm not even religious.  She came off condescending at first, like he had no business believing in something so silly, and I didn't like how he had to be defensive about it.  As he later complains to Alan, "It's not like I asked her to convert!"  If it hadn't happened at the very beginning, I might would have been worried about it causing a split. 

And...I don't actually remember what happened over the middle portion of the episode.  But I liked her tickets to the debate at the end.  All is well.  In other news, still frustrated by the lack of true chemistry I feel between them.  I love Don and I love that he's happy with her, I just wish I could root for them on more than principle.

As for the only storyline that ever matters, Charlie/Amita/Larry, the devilish trio of Cal Sci pranksters.  I had no idea what was going on for most of the time, and I didn't even realize they were pulling a prank until probably halfway through.  I couldn't tell if we were supposed to be surprised by the lightup at the end, or if that was just my usual lack of attention-paying, though.  Either way, watching the "Hollywood" sign flicker and change to "Cal Sci" in red was pretty sweet.

As to how I felt about this round of Charmita friction...I feel a need to be contrary, like I want to pick whichver side is unpopular.  If you agree that Amita was in the wrong, and that's the kind of thing she should have brought up by now, then I say it didn't sound very serious/was a long time ago, and I can't figure out what context she'd bring it up in.  I mean, is she supposed to just be in the middle of dinner one day and say "By the way, I got arrested one time because my boyfriend had a joint?"  No need to get bent out of shape, Charles. 

On the other hand, if you think Charlie was out of line and being overly demanding, then I say...well, I guess I kind of agree with this side, but more in letter than spirit.  I don't think this particular situation was anything major, but I understand his feeling kind of irked by her claim that "I can't tell you everything that's ever happened in my entire life"  ("Why not?"  "Because first of all, it's not that interesting."  "Let me be the judge of that.")  I think it's sweet he's that interested.  While I'm on that scene, I love Wise Larry's counsel of wordlessness.   

Heck, much like Amita, I didn't even realize it was a point of contension at first.  During that first conversation about pranks with Alan (which, LOL at Alan saying they should have adult supervision, and Charlie throwing a simpering smirk in response), I thought he just looked rather delighted/bemused by this description of straight-laced Amita being a naughty little lawbreaker.  I even had a comment about how bright his eyes were when fixated on her face, and how I loved that he just gets more in love with her as the seasons go on.  We call this "comprehension fail."

Felt kind of bad for her when she came with the peace offering diary, looking very much like a bewildered puppy not sure what she did wrong, but sorry anyway.  Liked his puzzled frown - "Peace offering...I'm not mad at you" and pretty much melted at his expression when declines to read because it's personal.  While handing him her diary is sort of peculiar, I appreciate the symbolic gesture of showing that she wasn't deliberately keeping anything from him.  Strikes a nice balance, saying sorry not so much for keeping a secret, but for if it seemed that way. (Also, hah, I love that Charlie is usually the one apologizing.)

And now back to the final scene which killed me so dead with cute that I couldn't function for at least 24 hours afterwards.  "Some view."  "It certainly is."  (latter statement spoken while deliberately looking at her instead of the actual view)  SAPPY ROMANCE: I FULLY EMBRACE IT.  I even get a kiss, which is not too prematurely interrupted by Larry's walkie-talkie antics.  Someone put forth the theory that he used them to announce his presence before he actually interrupted anything embarrassing, which I find both hilarious and plausible. 

Anyway, the real fun is Amita's delightfully playfully videocam fun - Larry's little wave!  Hah! - and I have to admit, every time I watch the sign light up and they start laughing, I start grinning madly.  But nothing beats her sweetly turning the camera on him and chirping, "Charles Eppes: you have just committed a felony!  And I have the evidence to prove it."  
"That's not funny.  C'mon, give me the camera."
"Hah, haha, no.  You know, I don't know if I can go out with a man that constantly breaks the law."
"Oh, right."
"First the illicit e-mails to Pakistan, now this..."

OMG SO CUTE.  I have literally never seen anything cuter than him laughing and struggling to grab the camera, and her deftly keeping it out of reach, swooping in with a playful peck on the lips instead.  And he's all "Yeah, mwah, SERIOUSLY GIVE IT."  *cracks up*  And then he threatens to post her diary online.  Hee!

Finally, just in case this ep wasn't perfect enough, you ping my forlorn little Megan/Larry shipping heart by having the latter smile at the lovebirds' antics and then stare wistfully out into the darkness, chin in hand.  Aww.  I miss Megaaaaaaaaaaaan!  But we're still operating under the theory that they're together, just in a long distance relationship. Right?

Perfection.
-------------
And then Spy, whose recap conveniently went up as I was writing this, struck fear into my heart with the following statement:

Next Week:  It’s a repeat of “Power.”   Those of you that didn’t see the horrific Ivy Kirk the first time, you can experience your own self-righteous anger next week.  Wait!  If you think she’s terrifying, just wait until we get the next new eppesode.  I have one word that no one in the fandom has dared speak aloud for the past 4 seasons:  haircut.

OH GOD NO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.  *sobs* I was just thinking to myself how Charlie's hair was perfect and possibly the best it's ever been!
And that wraps my TV for the week. Back to slavin'.  Right after these messages:
(as created by stunt_muppet and in a way that curiously and unintentionally links back up to my opening statement; how bout that.)

The Bonsai Story Generator transforms your story from a coherent fic into a series of pseudo-profound word salad sentences, perfect for incomprehensibly poetic fic.

Plug in one (or more) of your fics and post three (or more) of your favorite bonsai story sentences. No fair picking sentences that come out almost the same (i.e. "What's that?" or "She stood there" or something like that). Annotate as you like.



From Piano Lessons:
I’m not living on the keys, she answered, unconcerned.  --Neat image.  It would make a great closer for a drabble, possibly in response to another's concern about her behavior or a situation she's in.

Ziva, Ziva, Ziva.
You’re the injury.
It was hypnotic.
He shot to make their exits.
--4 lines in a row that actually make sense - not bad, eh?  And only the first and third are unchanged sentences.  The fourth one could fit in a poem somewhere.

Close Your Eyes and See:
Her hands are curled into an embrace. 
Her hands are looking lost.  --I love when two cool lines come out next to each other.  I wonder how you curl hands into an embrace?  Cradling one another?  Think about it.  Then add a layer of headspin with the second sentence.

And now she's the corners of it all.  Stability.  Nice.

They reach out of the hushed words carefully. --I'm seeing "they" referring to implications, or perhaps old memories. 

Library Nights:
He vanishes like a private correspondence.  This is possibly my favorite line of all, and I might find a way to recycle it.

She might be responsible for something unknown, searching for the history majors to discuss theology. --Whoa!  That is some incredible coherency right there.

Moonlight in Brazil:
By unspoken agreement, the endless hours until dawn are an unbearable expanse of existence. 

That’s where his thoughts ought to stop sobbing.  --Poor tormented thoughts.

Memories of soup. --Soup, soup, glorious soup.

Another night air; the media circus, the edge, and she puts up with it; puts up with it; puts up with a few months, just like in Raymond’s eyes.
--Comma splicing and a bit convoluted, but otherwise kinda fantastic.

The most recent letter from the lure of worrying.

Clockwork Silence
And Eric is lying like that, so implicitly as they might have spotted the viciousness of a trap, before he’s in the tidal wave against them.
--*dissects* OK, let's define "lying" as "not telling the truth," but in such a way that they don't realize he's betraying them (though they could have if they'd looked) - until it's too lateYep, this exactly why this meme is such fun.

It bothers him to take his eyes. --I think that line's reserved for a sci-fi horror story.

He wakes up with a blank where he belongs. --Profundity

Utterances of the tongue, a very real possibility, one to the mark of a prayer, but he wasn’t supposed to be there for the rest of him. --More convolution!  Your assignment is to dissect it.

Leftover Miscellenaous Fics:
Packing begins a dream.  -Opening line FTW!

It’s the girls in ice and life on the kind of conversation they used to terrify her best friend. --I'm thinking this could relate to serial killers, somewhow.  Which amuses me, since it came out of an O.C. fic about Summer missing Marissa.

And she lost herself twice, under her breath.  --Also profound!  Kind of gives me a shiver.  And that's a good line on which to end this meme, I think.</lj></lj>

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
aries11
Dec. 8th, 2008 02:49 pm (UTC)
I liked Ziva with the air guitar! I would've liked to have seen more of it than just the one swing. Tony was right, she does need to goof off a bit. Besides, I don't think fanfiction actually exists in their world. ;) Although it just occurred to me that that would make an awesome fic. What if they were sitting around the squadroom and came across a story someone else had written about them? They'd probably try to blame McGee first! xD
rainbowstevie
Dec. 9th, 2008 04:54 am (UTC)
Besides, I don't think fanfiction actually exists in their world.
Sure it does! Just about other shows. Or books. Reading is her preferred form of fun, is it not? Better yet, Ziva is welcome to write cracktastic stories based on the Deep Six novels. All kinds of reality-bending to be had there! Which segues nicely into the actual possibility of this happening -

What if they were sitting around the squadroom and came across a story someone else had written about them?
Even if they didn't pin the blame of authorship on McGee, they could still give him crap for making their lives publicly accessible to creepy weirdos (sometimes called "fangirls"). XD
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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