OK, so...a few weeks back I wanted to do one of those "make a list of character memes" (also known as "crack!fic fodder") because the last one I did was so much fun, but I was having more trouble than usual writing funny answers. I kept starting over with new batches of questions, and still only getting one or two salvageable answers in each one. Finally, I realized I had done so many partial memes, that together...they added up to one big meme! And thus, I present a brand-new mashup of questions, taken from literally all over the internet.
Instructions: List 10 different fictional characters from any fandom/s you like, and don't peek at the questions until you're done.
1 Jim (The Office)
2 Pam (The Office)
3 Rose (Doctor Who)
4 Ned (Pushing Daisies)
5 Alex (Lost)
6 Grissom (CSI)
7 Calleigh (CSI: Miami)
8 Barney (HIMYM)
9 Ziva (NCIS)
10 The Doctor - Ten
1. Would 4 make a good mom/dad?
Aiee! *flails at thought* Ned would be the best dad in the world, especially if he had a son, to make up for his own neglected/abandoned childhood. Although he might also spoil them rotten, especially a daughter, so Chuck would probably have to be the disciplinarian. For the most part, anyway - on second thought, Ned can get really scary with the quiet anger when you mess up big-time. Never mind; original statement retracted! He would still be the best dad in the world.
2. If 2 and 6 are marooned on an island together, do they kiss or kill one another?
(Pam and Grissom) If those are the only two options, they definitely kiss. Grissom is lonely old man with a previously established affinity for younger women, and Pam's a sad lonely girl
3. Describe 5 and 1's first kiss
(Alex & Jim)
I'd...rather not, seeing as she's jailbait, and also not Pam, and OH GOD, THERE GOES MY BRAIN, MAKING CONNECTIONS WITH AU FAN FAVORITE "JIM THE HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER." Well, very well, if you insist, let's roll up our sleeves and get dirty. AU Teacher Jim is usually teaching something in the humanities - English is a popular choice, probably because it's easy to swoon over literary geeks, so let's go with that - and Alex is a promising student. [For purposes of this story, Pam doesn't exist.] I can see Alex staying after school one day to go over a paper, and she kind of leans into it and...it's brief and awkward and he hates himself the minute he does, pulling back. Yeha, my brain apparently doesn't want to deal with this any more.
(*smirks* Beat you at your own game, brain!)
4. How does 8 convince 7 to go with him/her on a date?
Dude, it's Barney. He can make any woman sleep with him. I'm sure he just channels his inner Jake Berkely - probably even spends a few weeks growing out his hair; he's dedicated to the pursuit of bedding attractive women - and turns on the charm.
5. 10 is moving in with 9. What do they fight about the most?
(The Doctor, Ziva)
His incessant babbling, most definitely; it'll drive her up the wall.
"Ack, you're worse than Tony! At least the stupid movies he drattles on about actually EXIST!"
"--and look, I'm telling you, a quantum reflecter stratosphier is a real thing, you humans just won't invent it for another couple of thousand years..."
6. 2 and 7 are together. Who is more protective of the other?
Taken at face value to assume "together" means "in the same vicinity," Calleigh'll be shielding Pam with gun in hand.
7. Who is first going to say "I love you", 1 or 9?
HAH! Jim. Always. He probably says "I love you" to the coffee pot in the mornings.
8. What would 8 like to change about 10? Does 10 approve?
(Barney, The Doctor)
"Well...let's see, you're suited up, that's a good start. I like the hair, kind of a bad-boy thing with the spikes. And, whoa, you've got an impressive line of babes. Nice. But dude, you've got to get over Rose. She's not even...um..." insert Barney slowly backing away from the thunderclouds in the Doctor's eyes, "I'm gonnagogetthatchickadrink, bye!"
So, I'm thinking he's somewhere between bemused and moderately unsettled by Barney's attempt to teach him how to pick up women, but possibly scary-dark when it gets to Rose territory.
9. Who suffers from pre-wedding jitters, 5 or 8?
Barney, who is clearly in a shotgun wedding and constantly planning his escape up to and including the moment he says "I do."
How does bridesmaid/best man 10 soothe them?
The Doctor probably launches into a spiel about Rose and missed opportunities, which you think is meant to appeal to Barney's sentimental side, but is actually just one of his magnificent babbling ruses to distract until Barney has suddenly agreed to vows and is kissing his new bride. I don't know why the Doctor is meddling in a wedding like this, but I'm guessing it has something to do with a marriage-law fic challenge.
10. Your team is 3, 6 and 10. The mission consists of a social challenge, a mental challenge and a physical challenge. Which team member do you assign to each challenge?
Grissom gets the mental challenge, despite the Doctor's loud noises of protest, because they need the latter's wiry little frame for the physical challenge. Meanwhile, Rose is a perfect social butterly, so that part clearly goes to her. The Doctor will protest this as well, claiming that everyone loves him, to which Rose will point out that people frequently try to kill him for messing up their plans to dominate the world. "Nice people love me," he pouts. Rose just hits him on the shoulder and tells him to make sure his shoes are tied.
11. 4 becomes 1's boss for a week in some plausible fashion. How's their working relationship?
(Ned over Jim) Probably quite good; they're very similar, right down to being hopelessly in love with their best friends.
12. 2 finds him/her/itself inserted into 6's continuity. As far as anyone other than 2 or 6 is concerned, they've always been there. What role would 2 be presumed to have had in 6's story, and could they fit in without going wonky?
I'd say Pam probably ended up at the reception desk in the crime lab, as opposed to Dunder Mifflin. Maybe Roy wanted a change of scenery after high school, hence the move to Nevada.
13. 3 and 8 are challenged to circumnavigate the Earth in eighty days or less, using only forms of transportation invented before 1900. Can they do it, or will they be fatally distracted by sidequests or their own personality conflicts?
Pretty sure Rose will just bring forth the TARDIS, and that'll be that. I imagine Barney will be dazed and awed by the shiny lights and the whooshing noise, and won't pose any problems to her flight plan. As long as he doesn't get too obsessed with pestering her for sex while zooming through timespace, that is. ("HOW AWESOME WOULD THAT BE, COME ON...") True, the TARDIS is fussy and doesn't like to land where she's told, but that's the beauty of being able to move in time as well as space.
14. 9 and 5 get three wishes. The catch is that they have to agree on all three wishes before they get the benefits of any of them. What three wishes would they make?
(Ziva and Alex) Honestly, I don't know how to answer this one. I just decided to leave it on in case other people have better luck.
15. 1 and 2 are brainwashed by a one-time artifact that works even on people immune to mind control to attack and kill 4. They keep their normal personality, skills and competence level, except any Code vs. Killing has been turned off. Can 4 survive? How?
Ned can make sure the attack takes place in an empty morgue, where he can zap a couple of bodies to life; provided he dodges their attacks for a minute, he can then cause Jim and Pam to keel over instead. Might be a bit ruthless for his tastes, but...
Meme the Second: Year in Review
My New Year's resolutions are secretly in here too.
1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
Took a semester of purely upper-level classes
2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Because I copied this survey from the one I filled out last year (my thinking: smart!), I can tell you exactly what last year's were:
-Get 8 million NP in the bank on Neopets = Success! I didn't play much after summer, but I got up to 8.5 million anyway, a net gain of 2.1 mil. Not bad.
-Maintain, if not improve, current GPA. = Success! Well, pending, but I opened the year with a 3.25 and it's now at 3.31 with two more grades to go. It's still going to dip a little, but I don't think it'll go too much lower.
-Stay on campus and work over the summer. = Success!
-Finish "Clockwork Silence" and at least one new story. = Success on both counts! In fact, I finished three new stories. Look at me, all over-accomplishing stuff.
-Use my planner diligently. = FAIL. I lasted until March in spring semester, but quit after less than a month in the fall. I am going to kick myself SO HARD in the future for not having an easily accessible record of my last year's schoolwork...
-Write in my journal at least once a week. = FAIL. Actually, I was doing all right through spring semester, but then came summer and I wrote, like, 5 entries. And throughout fall semester, I've barely filled half a notebook. Pathetic. I blame LJ.
Hey, I kept 2/3 of them!
My New Year's Resolutions for 2009:
A. Catch up on Doctor Who & Torchwood - currently stalled at 4x01 and 2x12, respectively.
B. Read at least 3 more Dickens novels and the 2 remaining Austen novels (Persuasion and Mansfield Park)
C. Watch BBC productions of at least some of the above
D. GET AN ACTUAL JOB. Or at least some sort of steady income.
E. Reach the highest interest level in the Neopian bank, a/k/a "have 10 million NP"
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
4. Did anyone close to you die?
5. What countries did you visit?
I stayed in the U.S. In fact, I did not even leave Minnesota.
6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
A car, maybe? And perhaps an external hard drive.
7. What date(s) from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
January 30 - The day I saw my first Doctor Who episode
May 31 - the day I finished my 3-week CRAZY TELEVISION BENDER to catch up on all the TV I'd missed thanks to school
(Sadly, those are the only specific dates I can remember)
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Spring Dean's List, baby! Or else wrangling myself into a fantastic living situation for my final semester.
9. What was your biggest failure?
Capstone in general. I'm sure I didn't do well in it, but then again, it was too stupid for me to care.
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
Mental illness, mainly...I was in a bad place for much of September and October. With the panic. Mostly Capstone-related, but also some to the exhaustive workload in French.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My Sansa! Oh, that baby is my pride and joy. Don't know what I'd do without him.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My supervisors, who were the nicest people in the world; my amazing British Novels prof Cindy; and my thoroughly fantastic fall roommates
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
DAVID TENNANT. *kicks him* And yes, both appalled and depressed are excellent word choices for how I feel. Billie Piper gets some too, for being in that horrible show I refuse to name.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Textbooks and food again
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
OH MAN. Well, the final installment of The Music of 2008 will be coming up in about a week here, but let me throw out a mix of 15 from the top of my head:
Chyna Girl - Sweetbox
When You Were Young - The Killers
Set the Fire to the Third Bar -
Promises - Billie Piper
Goodbyes - Jess Anderson
All Summer Long - Kid Rock
Low - Flo Rida
[Doctor Who soundtracks 1-3]
Our Song - Taylor Swift
Don't You Know You're Beautiful - Kellie Pickler
Set Free - Katie Gray
In This Life - Delta Goodrem
Bandeya - from Khuda Kay Liye soundtrack
Vox - Sarah McLachlan
Book Girl - Prospect Mali
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder...MY LIFE AS I KNOW IT IS OVER
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter, although I mostly blame the last month of treats being thrown at me left and right.
iii. richer or poorer? decidedly richer, seeing as a year ago I had like $90 to my name.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Taking pictures. I never really, er, got around to doing much of that. :( Also, printing stories and stuff while I still had free and unlimited access to a shiny laser printer. And maybe exercising in some way, shape or form.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Skipping my Shakespeare and French classes, which I missed...7 and 6 times, respectively; oops.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
(er, I recently answered that, didn't I)
21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Only with TV, which I am sure we have discussed extensively here. I kind of miss having real-life crushes.
22. How many one-night stands?
In case you missed it the last time I mentioned it - Moonlight and I had a weekend fling. It was awesome. You should have been there.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
Three-way tie between Doctor Who, The Office, and Pushing Daisies
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
David Tennant, kind of.
25. What was the best book you read?
OH MAN. All the Austen and Dickens? (only not Great Expectations, so much. Stupid Pip)
The Stone Rose? Movies in Fifteen Minutes? You Know Where to Find Me? Sara's Face? Before Green Gables? The Fox and the Hound?
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
DOCTOR WHO SOUNDTRACKS. New Country. Billie Piper & Delta Goodrem.
27. What did you want to get?
Office DVDs (success!)
28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hahaha, I only saw two films in theaters, but X-Files 2 was better than Sex and the City 1. Because Mulder > Big.
29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 22 and it was a miserable, suck-tastic day filled with accidental class-missing, unexpected lethargy, frustrating time-wasting, and was topped off by spending the night working on a take-home exam for Miserable Class of Death. Then again, at the tail end of it I discovered Billie Piper's music, so I guess it wasn't all bad.
30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Taking the Scarlet Letter course instead of Capstone. But I'm pretty sure that's impossible, so I have to say that 2008 went pretty well, on the whole.
31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
See last year. I'm casually trendy; I like jeans/sweaters/fitted T-shirts, especially from Kohl's, and I hate belts and shirts with buttons/collars. The only major difference is that two of my main pairs of shoes are literally falling apart and I still refuse to replace them, because it's hard for me to find shoes I like.
32. What kept you sane?
TV, ALWAYS TV.
33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
David Tennant, until I switched my allegiance to John Krasinski. Lee Pace may have fought his way in there too.
34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The presidential election, namely people bitching and moaning about Sarah Palin and/or treating Obama like a god. It irked.
35. Who did you miss?
My classmates who graduated in the spring of '08; Amazing Prof
36. Who was the best new person you met?
My fall roommates!! Especially Sarah Jo.
37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
To care more about what I get out of a class than the actual grade. It's not a lesson you can be taught; everyone has to learn it for themselves. I finally broke through that plane.
38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year!
*stretches and cracks knuckles* I have literally been waiting over two years to say this:
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind
Got my paper, and I was free...
--"Closer to Fine," Indigo Girls