RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

In which characters unexpectedly greatly increase their levels of hot

OWIE OWIE OWIE.  I am always somewhat nervous about using the handheld nutcracker, but Dad got two giant bags of in-shell nuts on clearance for a dollar each, and I've been happily enjoying the individual cracking of them.  Or I was until one of the hazelnuts was exceptionally stubborn, and when it finally snapped with all the force of crocodile jaws, I pinched the pad of my pinky so hard blood promptly started welling up beneath the surface.  Now I have not only a little swollen bump, but a lovely shade of purple spreading out from the site of impact.  Not even a week into the new year.  Yeesh!

Now: With this post, I can finally see the light at the end of the crazy television bender tunnel.  It's exciting!  I'll be able to concentrate on actual productivity soon.  Maybe even consider reading a book for the first time in almost a month.

-2.06, "Serving Two Masters"
Violet: "This banging has to stop!" Unintentional meta for the win.

I never know what's going on when this show opens because no matter how many chances I give it, it inevitably winds up with at least one sex scene in the first sixty seconds, and that requires a skip-forward until I land in the middle of some other conversation. Sometimes that's OK, and provides me with amusing quotes of hilarity such as the scene with the guys in the bar, daring Cooper to prove his game by picking up a random chick.

Sam: OK her, the blonde.
Pete: Too easy. (said blonde turns her head, and is Charlotte) Oh, not easy! Disturbing!
Sam: I thought she spent her nights with her coven.
Pete: Pick a different woman. One with blood running through her.

This episode was one of the times I agreed with Addie's moral high horse - you know what, he gets mentioned so often that he needs a name. Let's call him Maury - but only so far as "two secret wives = gross. And illegal." As much as I didn't like it, though, I have to admit that she really did not have a right to expose his secret wives to each other.  That was a pretty disgusting and underhanded move on her part.

That being said, once they were put in a room together, how in hell's name did the secret come out in like 5 seconds flat? What'd they do, say "Hi my name is__, wanna see a picture of my husband?" And I think it's frankly weird that they ended up bonding after all and decided to be lifelong buddies. Surely at least one of them would decide she still loved him after all and privately declare herself the winner and sole wife.

I will never understand why people on TV always sleep with each other before saying "I love you," but since it led to Addie getting her Seattle-Grace-crazy on, randomly suspecting him of cheating and following him to work until she got herself handcuffed and in the back of a squad car, I'll let it slide. That was kind of great.

I also don't understand why Kevin really *is* always wearing his SWAT shirt every single time we see him, but I will let that slide too because I like him more every episode. He came back demanding an explanation! And she told him about the whole McDreamy/McSleazy mess (not in those exact words), and she kind of broke down in front of him, and he didn't run! I definitely like this guy.

But saving the best for last: Little Betsy?? OMG OMG OMG DELL IS SUDDENLY THE HOTTEST THING EVER. (Why wasn't he around to talk sense back into that kid about how becoming a dad at 17 in fact does *not* ruin your life forevermore?) And not even just that he *has* a six-year-old daughter, but that she's really ridiculously adorable. And his ex is an addict, giving him even *more* responsibility to shoulder... *fans self* We have a new favorite male character here, folks.
-2.07, "Tempting Faith"
Don't you steal my sunshine... (Woo, opening songs I know!!)

Hey now, that's just not fair. McDreamy gets a hot, wonderful sister, and Addison's brother is a total freak? Way to fulfill every snobbish stereotype of the rich, "Archer." I'm really note sure where this discrimination against cops comes from in the first place, though...maybe if he were a lazy patrol cop who looked like Danny DeVito, but have a mirror, Archie Boy. Pretty sure Kevin instantly outstrips you in both attractiveness and classiness. Furthermore, doctor/cop - especially upgraded to surgeon/SWAT - is pretty much an ideal pairing of professions in my head. Best of two incredible worlds. I...just really can't wrap my head around how you fail to be impressed by a member of the police force.

I may have freaked out a little when he got shot and wound up in surgery. I was just thinking to myself that they seemed to have painted themselves into a corner of happiness with this relationship, and it seemed like for lack of any immediate way to break it up, they might very well go with death. I freaked out even more when he turned out to be fine but nearly broke up with her anyway. But instead! "Have I ever said once that you are not good enough?" What utterly beautiful emotion. And then my heart melted and dribbled all over the place and I finally decided I adored them. Now that I've said that, I give them six more eps.

Dell continues to exponentially increase his hotness by flipping his lid at a pedophile who has the gall to talk to Maya, reminding us all that he too was a victim of abuse, admitting that even so he's now more concerned for his daughter (squee!), and adding that he's going to talk to a lawyer about full custody. Um. If someone could put me in the freezer for a while to cool down, that would be helpful.

I also love that he and Violet found common ground in being attacked, and that she opened up to him about her rape. Dell's a good, safe choice. I also like finding out that it was in fact a violent attack rape - "he broke into my dorm room" - and not the usual "I blacked out and next thing I knew we'd gone from making out to having sex and I was too drunk to push him off" story that college rapes usually turn out to be. There's a great deal of difference in the amount of sympathy I dole out.

It still doesn't explain why Violet's current attitude is "YAY NAOMI, YOU HAD MEANINGLESS SEX, GOOD JOB," though. In a related note, ew gross ew ew ew scrubbing *that* image out of my head now...except maybe for the part where Sam turns around and socks Archer in the nose.

And finally, Charlotte, you don't get to whine about "non-disclosure agreements" and how "I couldn't tell you." How about...telling him before you sign those papers? Or maybe, here's a novel idea, not opening a competing medical practice in the same building as your boyfriend in the first place? I don't understand how there is such a disconnect in her brain that she can't possibly fathom why that would affect her relationship at all.

I don't appreciate Cooper throwing a temper tantrum and yelling at Violet that she should have told him, because I kind of think he'd have yelled at her if she *had*, but I appreciate even less the few nauseating seconds where Charlotte came in wearing nothing but frosting.  WHY ARE WE FORCED TO SEE THINGS LIKE THIS EVERY SINGLE EPISODE?  WHY?  Better question, with nonsense like that, I've gone from being OK with to pissed by the fact that Pushing Daisies was the fledgling show of mine that got shot instead of this.

But I do appreciate him storming up to see Charlotte himself and later finally, HALLE FREAKING LUJAH, seeing the light and breaking it off. Jesus Christ, that took at least 9 episodes too long. Now just...make it stick? Please?

Two questions:
1) Doesn't Naomi's daughter live with her? How does she come bursting through the door, tearing off hers and Archie's clothes and making out on the stairs? I love how these writers pay no attention at all to the logistics of dating with children.
2) Why is Meg still here?

And one parting quote:
Addison: Apparently he didn't appreciate Kevin treating him like a criminal when they first met.
Naomi: You mean when he broke in, like a criminal?
-2.08, "Crime and Punishment"
Hee! Racquetball for the win. "We need women." But guys, if you had women, we wouldn't get wonderful quote exchanges like this:
Coooper: You know I wish she would die? No, not in a bad way, just like...slightly dead? Then I wouldn't have to see her face and she'd just be a memory. You ever wish Naomi died?
Sam: Hey man, that's the mother of my chi -- yes I do, actually.
("Slightly dead"! LMAO)

Hey, Addison, I'm gonna need you to get off Maury for a minute so I can sit on him. In fact, why don't you get a soapbox that he can put his front hooves on too, because I think I need to make a once-and-for-all, sweeping declaration of my hard-to-pin-down stance on abortion and all the related issues this episode brought up. Soapbox delivered? Good.  I'm going to get negative comments, most likely, but this is as clear as I can possibly make it, and I'm feeling very stubborn today until I get the first disagreement and then my spine will turn to jelly again:

Controversial Rant On (skippable)
First of all, it is a not a need. Let's recognize that. I'm perfectly pro-choice as in "you shouldn't be legally punished for or prohibited from having one." But it is a want. It is a want you should have to pay for yourself. If you do not have the *funds* to pay for an abortion, there is a simple way to avoid the chance by "not having sex." Or you can have sex with wanton abandon in poverty, and if you get pregnant you can have it and give the baby up for adoption. I understand there's no shortage of demand for newborns.

I don't agree with talking women out of having abortions if they've made up their minds, DELL, but it is not your uncontested right to make other people give you an abortion just because you want one, either, unless your life is in imminent danger or you've previously filed a rape report (concessions, I make them). There will always be pro-choice doctors, and if it takes a little more work on your part to find one, you can shoulder that responsibility.

Oh, Naomi, don't ask questions like this that make me part ways with your otherwise sound logic. Yes, it *does* make a difference if she was raped. If she was raped, she had no opportunity to use birth control or be abstinent altogether. An innocent woman is on the same plane as an innocent baby; if the woman is less innocent, then the innocent baby takes precedence.

I'm personally not of the opinion that life begins at I said, I'm mostly pro-choice. With conditions. It's more like I have a line in the sand that declares if the fetus is developed enough to survive on its own outside the womb, *that* is when it should gain its own rights as a person. When it's still inextricably part of the mother's body, I see nothing wrong with her choosing an abortion. UNLESS you adopt Meg's "We're helping people" mantra, and then I'm going to get Cranky Old Lady on you.

Because, no.  Not quite.   You're performing a convenient service, not improving health and saving lives. You're helping people the same way liquor stores do. I maintain that abortions within my guidelines are OK, even though I can still sympathize with Naomi's "a baby died today," but I'm beginning to think that I am OK with them on the same principle that I apply to the fact that I continue to eat meat: HAVE THE DECENCY TO FEEL ASHAMED OF IT. Perform them by all means, but don't act like there's anything noble or good about it. Someone has to do it.  That's all.

And frankly, I DON'T think that performing abortions in the same place you have a *fertility* clinic is any more appropriate than inviting a pedophile for therapy in a place where you have a pediatrician's office. This isn't even after hours, and while it might not be advertised, I'm sure people will find out. I think women who are struggling desperately to have one baby might be reasonably upset upon being in such close proximity to women getting rid of theirs.

Controversial Rant OFF

Incidentally, why is Meg here, for real?  Have you not noticed all the problems that cast bloat has caused on Grey's Anatomy?  You had a nice setup! Six doctors + Dell and only one inexplicably random and useless blonde witch had plenty of stories to tell.  Don't keep adding useless characters.

Speaking of useless - WHAT THE HELL, CHARLOTTE IS *NOT* in love with Cooper!  Why do you insist on shoving this down our throats endlessly? Who the hell thinks this is a good idea? If there are any brainwashed people out there who have developed Stockholm Syndrome and begun to accept this the longer it goes on, SHAME ON YOU for giving in to manipulation. 

Charlotte: I'll give you one more day to revel in your immaturity, and then we're going to discuss this.  Like adults.
Cooper: How about this?  Go.  To.  Hell.  *smiles*

Violet's storyline was the second-best of the night, all gruesome and really creepy (bonus: more shots of her in baggy clothes and glasses, eating Chinese food and watching trashy TV by herself.  I really kind of love how normal she is).  I'm glad that Kevin talked some sense into her ("You know how many women I've seen kill themselves or ask to be killed with a gun?") and that Doug really was a crazy whackjob murderer after all.  There is no way to "mercy kill" someone you love with a gun.  It's way too brutal and visceral.

Finally, I am completely and totally, 100% on board with Kevin/Addison as of right now.  I was amused enough by her insistence on giving him a sponge bath despite his distinctly uncomfortable look (silly, don't you know that women enjoy fussing over their vulnerable significant others?  I appreciated the realism aspect of it, too), but was sold with the adorable convalescent hugging/snuggling/comforting. 
Tags: private practice, tv commentary

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