RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

In the interest of moving on...

The Secret Wedding of The American Teenager:

Yes, it's exactly as bad as it sounds. Sometimes this show makes my head hurt with the stupid. (oh, who am I kidding, "sometimes") But that's OK.  I just...grit my teeth and pretend all of these beautiful, loving and reassuring things Ben says are being said a few years down the road. Like when they're 18. Or 22. Or not 15.

Because he really does have the most incredible eyes and to-die-for expressions that take your breath away...he just hasn't quite grown into them. And thus everything he does in the name of romance - like, I don't know, propose marriage and then agree to elope in the name of raising his girlfriend's child as his own - is laced with a tinge of what-the-fuckery.

And Amy, I don't know. I understand that she's book-smart yet painfully life-ignorant, but sometimes it's hard to believe that anyone with a functioning brain could be THAT naive. I mean, I can see her being thrown for a loop when her mom announces that she's looking for work, because if she's been unemployed all her life I don't think it was *that* unreasonable of Amy to assume her mom would watch the baby during school hours. But 7 hours is a long time, so maybe band practice on top of that was kind of a stretch (which, I thought she went to a magnet school. I don't understand how band is an extracurricular activity), and anything beyond that was obviously something that would require as-it-happens negotiation.

I also don't understand Amy sitting down and primly requesting a complicated breakfast, followed by flipping out and/or sulking when she discovers that as a pending mom, she's expected to cook it herself. Of course, I also don't understand Amy's rationale for keeping the baby in the first place, since she apparently hasn't considered the financial aspect any more than the caring aspect, and I don't see how she thinks her life will resume comme normal the second the baby's born. Do you think all those teen moms drop out of high school for the fun of it? I'm going to assume Amy's school doesn't have sex ed., but it doesn't require sex ed. to know these things. It's common sense.

As soon as her mom pointed out how part-time doesn't come with insurance, I was kind of hoping Amy would blithely respond that she was planning on quitting school to work full-time - THAT would have thrown Molly Ringwald's arguments for a loop! I somehow don't think she wants that - but I should have known that was too smart a response to respect from Little Miss Naive.

Let's just not even get into the part where they actualy manage to PULL THIS CRAP OFF and go through the wedding, vows and kiss and everything (which was admittedly sweet, especially when she started shaking in the doorway and he gripped her arm to steady her and promised it would be OK). That is a really terrible wedding chapel if it can't put 2 and 2 together and/or see right through the fake IDs. Because really, they didn't look like they'd turn out that great. Grace's is obviously fake, at least; who would get their license photo taken with humorously giant rollers in their hair?

And why is everyone smiling and clapping and looking relieved at the marriage, anyway? Amy, Ben, do you understand that your marriage is not legally binding or valid in any way? And that this does not magically turn you into adults who can go get your own apartment, or anything?
Tags: secret life, tv commentary

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