RS (rainbowstevie) wrote,

The Monday Power Hours

1. Can't seem to avoid letting my parents suck me into 24 every week, in much the same pervasive manner with which they wore down my resistance to Medium.  Updates on my feelings: I still hate everybody except Chloe (with special particular hatred for Jack Bauer) and my transferred fondness for the new African general in charge of Fucking Your Shit Up. Was pretty upset that with all the random innocent people getting gunned down this week, Wheeler managed to stare death in the face, live, and then use her teeny frame to fight off Dubaku's son long enough for him to get shot instead.  HEY I WAS KINDA LIKIN' HIM, THANKS. 

Really, when your show/Good Side is so terrible you've got me cheering for the international terrorists to triumph over the President and anyone in her administration, you're doing something wrong

2. How I Met Your Mother: 4x15, "The Stinsons"
Despite my fury with Obama for bumping this one, I was a good girl and somehow waited until its official airdate to watch.  ...although I still didn't actually watch it on TV.  My willpower had a weird moment of breaking at, like, 7:20.  Shortly after I realized that there was going to be a doubleshot of 24 rather than a new episode of House, and I required consolation.

1. UM!  So, I'm going to need a minute to just...let my brain play with the idea of Barney legitimately having a son.  Who had dark brown hair.  I'M JUST SAYING, THAT WAS A HELPFUL DETAIL.  My brain likes visual breadcrumbs it can take out of context far better than images it has to invent from scratch.

2. Barney's a Momma's boy!  And it's amazing and adorable and the sweetest thing ever, and I love how he kind of reverts to a childlike state just being in that house ("My racecar bed??"), because although it tends to be well-hidden, that's very much a part of who he is.

3. The meta joke about child actors in the 80's was funny.  All the references to movies weren't as funny, since I've never seen any of them except possibly "Terminator" and I don't even remember it, but I got the point.  Barney and I are soulmates!  When it comes to movies (or 24), I am always sympathizing with the wrong people rather than the intended protagonist.  Sometimes intentionally - hi, "Babel"! - but other times just because I embrace reasoning like Barney's.  The poor Terminator - he's the title character!  And then the little red light died out, and no one even tried to help him

3.5. Also, Ted, shut up.  You're lame and you mess up 7 years of Barney's perfectly crafted lies.  I don't ever want to see a movie with you, either.

4. No, really, Ted...shut up.  It was nothing short of skin-crawlingly awful to watch him improv-act in the kitchen.  And that was before he slapped Barney.  Twice.  Bitch, this means war.  It's only funny when Marshall does it and/or writes songs about it.

5.Robin's storyline, much like Robin herself, was also lame (see, see, I had my reasons for shipping them in season 2), and I did my best to ignore her saccharine-at-best, embarrassing-at-worst attempts to bond with the kid.  But!  She will always serve a purpose as Barney's love interest, so not only did my heart do little skippy leaps at his mom telling indirectly telling him to go for it, the random cute exchange of smiles in the car?  UM GUH.

6. It kind of breaks teeny pieces off my soul to think that there's an eternal war of hate going on between Lily and her mother-in-law, whom Marshall knows only as the sweetest mom in the world.  I therefore choose to pretend that phone call was legit.

7. Lovesick schmoopy talk + "This is what you're actually like in relationships!"  LMAO.

8. Seriously, I think I could have watched at least three more episode at Barney's mom's house, watching him careen wildly back and forth between hissing warnings at his friends/"Tyler" and being a beaming, jovial family man.  Since I probably have to take a stand on how I feel about his years of deceit, I have to say that they don't really bother me.  It started as a relatively nice thing, and, just snowballed; that's all.

9. Anything I failed to mention was probably funny.  Loved this one to pieces.

10. In a Barney/Robin note that has nothing to do with any of the above, I was watching a fanvid which inspired, with startling clarity, the resurfaced memory of that time he was sick and Robin came over to take care of him.  (shippy radar: *pings hysterically*)  YouTube failed me, but Hulu came through with the clip.  I can't believe I didn't even mention this part the first time I saw that episode.  Hi there, new favorite scene!  I think I love you.  

3. Medium: 5x05, "A Taste of Her Own Medicine"

This show's had a lot of scary and/or disturbing scenes over its run, including a toddler's body stuffed into a doll box and hidden in a toy store.  But I swear that it has never introduced anything so frightening as this: a doctor's suggestion that, due to Joe's chronic sleep deprivation, he and Allison should consider sleeping apart.

I knew they wouldn't they wouldn't make that stick, but still!  The terror it struck into my shippy little heart!  My pupils dilated to the size of actual saucers.  How they did that without exploding from my head, I don't know, but I am positive they managed.  Icy chills of terror formed goosebumps over every inch of skin I had.  I am in no way exaggerating the extent of damage that excising the bedtime cuddling would have caused.  This is barely one step below the horror level of what Ghost Whisperer did to Jim.

But we managed to salvage some cuteness in spite of all that.  For example, I was just thinking that Joe hasn't interrupted one of her baths for a while...and there we have it.  Only in so far as relaying the message that Marie would like to sleep in her mother's bed if he's abdicating his spot (which: AW!), but he did manage to devilishly suggest that perhaps he could help with Allison's frustration, so was not a total loss.

Marie is still the cutest little bug ever born.  "Are you and Mommy having a divorce?"

Also, pretty pretty kissing on the dance floor in the middle of the party at the end.  :)  "That's what naps are for," indeed.  He's only got about five years' worth of sleep loss to catch up'd think he'd have noticed this problem long before now.  And I was so sure his sleep attacks were symbolic/otherwise related to something in the case!  Her gift does like to rope in unsuspecting family members for kicks and giggles...

Over in the land of "relationships I was carefully ignoring lest they'd gone sour off-screen," Lynn finally made another appearance.  Turns out she's  been hiding from the viewers because she's pregnant.  OMGWTFBBQ!!  And...boy, do I feel spectacularly let down about this, or what?  It's not like I ever mistook Scanlon for a super romantic guy, or even considered him as father material the way I scrutinize all other single men on TV, but still.  This is Lee & Lynn here.  They have jobs in the same field and matching first names.  They somehow managed to be cute in their own particular way.

And now they're having a baby, yet I am cheated out of even the remotest sense of squee.  Way to be thrilled, guys!  It's good to know that kids coming into a world full of love!  Geeze, they're not even married, baby's not even born yet, and they're already emulating a separating couple in every way possible.  It was really uncomfortable to watch Lee be all emotionally dead and distanced, so even though I was probably supposed to swoon at his grand entrance to the party at the end, it was more like a sarcastic "Oh look, you showed up.  Clap.  Clap."  =/

Case-wise, guess who didn't go to jail?  That's right, anyone.  Because we don't do that on this show anymore.  Why get real justice when you can just ponder the moral shades of gray and explore the intricate layers of family loyalty instead?  *rolls eyes*  Look, Blythe Danner was fantastic, and I totally called her murdering her daughter based on the SVU Law of Guest Stars ("if they're big enough to be talked about in the promos, 90% of the time they're the killer!") but it made no sense for Allison to back off and keep her secret rather than reporting to Devalos with what she knew.

Yeah, it's great that Blythe took the law into her own hands and cut the cancer out of her family - it takes a special kind of psycho woman to go after a married man with a sick daughter, kill his wife to speed up the process, and then, months later, decide the daughter's annoying you too and try to poison her next.  Except for how Blythe killed her daughter to "preserve her granddaughter's good memories" of her stepmother as a sweet woman who just DECIDED TO WALK OUT ON HER FAMILY ONE DAY AND NEVER RETURN.  Like, the hell.  Teenage Phoebe's going to have issues no matter what, given that (as far as she knows) two mothers walked out on her!

I mean, sure, it'd suck to lose her loving grandmother to jail, but...she's still got her dad, geeze.  It's not like she'll be thrown into foster care.  Meanwhile, meanwhile, don't you think the first wife's parents would like to have a little justice for their daughter?  Enh?  Now they'll never know what happened to her!  Because I can't figure out how Allison could let on that she knows that killer without ramping up the suspicious charges that Meredith was murdered, which would just cause a deeper investigation into the family, which would defeat the purpose of Allison staying quiet.  Right?

It's been a while since the resolution/lack thereof bugged me like this.

Speaking of Phoebe, it drove me nuts all hour trying to figure out where I'd seen her.  I finally had it narrowed down to either House or SVU, and then turns out...whoops, nope, I know her as the adorable little Gracie on Private Practice a few weeks back, the one whose parents ditched her because surgery was too expensive.  (you think I am being flippant, but that's what happened)  Apparently she'll be on House next week, though...
4. Secret Life 1x20: Well, that was just uncomfortable.  Apparently, everybody went to the Benjamin Linus School Of Manipulation last week and came back ready to unleash their tactics in full force. Sadly, said tactics worked on Amy, because the delicate little spine she grew last week crumpled immediately in the face of overwhelming pressure and she agreed to keep the baby after all.  Which...!@#&%@#!...this show makes me so angry sometimes, I can't even speak.  In a related note, I'm back to wanting to club Ashley with a 2x4.  You don't even know how sick I am of her attitude that 15-year-old Amy wanting to give up her baby up for adoption is the most selfish act anyone has ever done in the history of the world.

And I swear, if and when they introduce an actual baby to this show, I'm out. Pregnancy, I've got no problem with.  Even in teenagers, it can still be delightful.  Babies, I have a problem with.  They're cute the moment they're dried off/wrapped up after being born and for occasional moments when they're sleeping or being held by attractive men, and serve as convenient proof-of-love tokens in fictional contexts, but mostly they are unpleasant and I have no desire whatsoever to watch people taking care of one.  Especially teenaged people/their parents.  Ugh. 

5. I'm not ready to tackle watching CSI: Miami yet.
Tags: 24, csi: miami, medium, secret life, tv commentary

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