American Idol: Group 3 Results + Who The Wild Cards Are
I reject your results! I reject them more than I have ever rejected results in the history of American Idol and HOMG, how dare you draw me back in with your wild cards!
First, we'll have a brief moment of thanksgiving prayer that Freak 2 didn't go through, and neither freak was considered for the Wild Card round, so that particular brand of hell is officially over for good.
Next we will curse every god, false or not, for letting in the Walking Undead, that woman whose scornful and unflattering nickname is still pending - Shrieky McBlige? Mmm...nah, still needs work - and Blind Wonderboy, whose head will be rolling as soon as I finish sharpening my axe and find a henchman to carry out my evil deeds. Take note, producers: my demands are that Scott's cute brother provide the body and lip synch while Scott provides the voice from a safe place, out of sight, backstage. That's the only compromise I'm willing to make.
Believe it or not, I'm actually more pissed off about the Walking Undead getting through, but that fills me with such a specific type of all-consuming rage and disbelief that I can't think directly about it.
In a related note, WHY. WHY, AMERICA, WHY. This is the first year you've had an opportunity to flood the Top 12 with pretty songstresses, no longer bound by gender equality rules, AND YET YOU ARE CHOOSING MORE MEN THAN WOMEN. What goes through your heads? Have you eyes? Functioning eyes? (look at the joke I'm not making right here and be proud of me) The women as a whole are always more appealing than the men as a whole; this year is no exception; AND YET. YOU CONTINUE TO IGNORE THEM. EXPLAIN PLZ.
Wild Card Selections
Now, as for what fills my soul with delight: I almost don't care that my adorable little Alex is out, I almost don't care that bane-of-my-existence Anoop is back, or that Jasmine Murray's existence just kicks me over and over again with the memory of Rose Flack, or that Freaky Carnie Girl is skanking up my stage, along with that VonSmith thing, and That Dude Rickey I Literally Could Not Remember, because
1) TATIANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 Threw you under a bus, what?? I most certainly did no such thing! HI I LOVE YOU AND YOUR FREAKY DRAMA THEATRICS! And your gorgeous hair! I love you love you love you, and I was so scared, the way Simon was talking, that they were bringing back Norman - and then it wasn't; it was YOU!
I'd literally forgotten she even still had a chance. It was a no-brainer, no-way, no-how, never-gonna-happen hope - AND IT CAME TRUE.
2) JESSE LANGSETH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELL YEAH! Jesse's back, Jesse's back, Jesse's really back and oh my God, they changed their mind only at the very last second - tonight - to let her in, and it was amazing, and it was especially amazing because my beloved Paula was the one who announced it (Jess was the 7th one mentioned, and I had literally just said "Paula, you're my only hope!"). This time I am going to rock that vote.
Which leaves me with a dilemma, of course. I want to vote for both my girls, but at the same time, I'm terrified of taking anything away from Jesse. But then part of me thinks that Jesse has a better shot anyway, while Tatiana has like no fan base at all - unless Vote for the Worst loves her, and then...then I'm back to voting for Jesse...
Maybe I'll leave it up to song choice, with the default plan being "Vote for Jesse and hope for a surprise upset from the other."
But if neither one makes it in, then I am done with Idol for the year. My vague feelings of appreciation for Michael S. and Allison/willingness to maybe give Danny a chance are not enough to keep me around, not when this show's been boring me more often than not lately.