Dude, I am not kidding about this, EVERYONE ON MY FLIST NEEDS TO GO HERE NOW AND VOTE. It does not, repeat, does not matter if you don't know the characters; random clicks are half of the fun. However, if you'd like further help deciding...I'm going to need you to pick Ned over Captain Jack Harkness (because manwhore should not triumph over sweet/shy/besotted), and also it would be really helpful if you'd override his pacifist tendencies and help The Tenth Doctor kick butt. Plus, right now, Mulder is losing badly to that guy from Firefly. THAT IS NOT OKAY. I already lost Sawyer in the very first round to fucking Dean Winchester; do not test me.
P.S. Seth Cohen apologizes for whatever douchebaggy things he did over the course of his series, and would like your help making the tournament recognize that he is single-handedly greater than the entire cast of "Gossip Girl." This race is super-close and we could still turn it around!
As previously mentioned, missed a good chunk of Survivor while I was channel-hopping between it and American Idol. On the other hand, I saw enough of it to make me feel too lazy to bother watching it in full online. The highlights are these --
Tyson is still a special kind of freak (loincloths, WTF? Am beginning to wonder if he's ever been arrested for indecent exposure), but he continues to be overshadowed by Coach, who is a much more interesting kind of freak. It must be said - while I loathe Tyson, I actually adore Coach. He's like the Dwight Schrute of Survivor - I want to know what wild and zany things he will say next in his delusions of grandeur. It must have been a very long time since he set foot in the real world. His insistence upon calling people "cancer" and touting his own awesomeness while never actually doing anything is too great for words.
I'm also starting to feel bad for Erinn, who was clearly dealt a bad hand as far as tribe selection went. She seems like a nice enough girl, but there's no way she stands a chance against the Popular Clique. Brendan's not part of it either, but he's got his own secret alliances going and so they have no real reason to relate to each other. I wish she hadn't made her excuse for not connecting "I knew my recent breakup would come up in conversation and I didn't want to start sobbing." Which...really? Surely even if someone point-blank asked if you had a boyfriend, you could say "Nope" and then move on. Maybe it wouldn't even come up at all.
(sidebar - I think Debbie's actually redeemable, if she were separated from the two guys - she's like the girl who hangs in the popular people's shadows, there by accident but adopting their judgmental sense of superiority all the same).
Because of that, I'm actually glad the red tribe lost immunity, because Sandy was getting on my nerves. It's like, she's fun, but only in very small doses, and I really need a break from her. Someone explained that the problem was "she repeats everything at LEAST three times," and if even I noticed that, it must be ten times worse spending 24/7 around her. So yeah, was definitely her time to go.
Sydney, on the other hand, I'm starting to like. She's not abrasive yet, and she's much prettier on video than I got from her bio picture. And Stephen is still my very favorite, but JT is gradually growing on me too. Call it the fault of reading The Secret Life of Cowboys last weekend.
Reward challenge - load bearing. "You choose which member of the other tribe gets weight added, but their tribe mates have to put it on." Kind of made me uncomfortable...like watching a session of "I'll break you by making you torture your loved ones!"
Immunity challenge - involved a lot of running and puzzle-making. Skipped half of it and didn't care.
The Office, 5x16, "Blood Drive"
Let's see, how can I put this. It didn't make me angry, exactly, so that's always a plus...
Not unlike many episodes of this show, the parts not involving Jim and/or Pam were 95% stupid and irrelevant, with 4% of the remainder being because of Kelly and 1% left over for everything else. Of course, once again, 95% of anything involving Jim and Pam was the reason I watch this show, with a full 5% being detracted this week for that godawful and horrifically embarrassing, never-ending round of Fonz impressions.
In retrospect, possibly I was angrier with it than I thought.
Things That Were Worth Watching
1. Kelly!! Secret admirer Valentines from her dentist! Decorating the Valentine's party with hearts ripped in half! And the good news is that she can still tape them back together when Ryan comes back from Thailand realizing that he's in love with her and always has been.
2. Andy wasn't in the episode at all. Repeat! That's 2 episodes in a row where Andy has been 100% absent. I can't comment further because I've gone into a bliss-induced coma while my soul parties it up in heaven until he gets back.
3. Angela's had two sets of men duel over her? That is both awesome and understandable.
4. In the first 5 minutes, Jim and Pam were
a) Animated Valentine's e-card! (possibly animated by Pam?) While everything in me wants to rebel against her idiotic-looking imitation of its robot dance - I haven't forgiven you for The Fonz, woman! - I am fortunately placated by the combination of her anticipatory smile, his laugh, and the general fact that they're looking at each other and cutely acknowledging Valentine's Day.
b) Joint TH! Which, as I have previously expressed, is a thing that should be required at least once per episode, because it always some of the most delightful footage ever.
"You're only engaged once. Well - present company excluded."
"Really, Jim? On Cupid's birthday."
How cute are they when they rag on each other and/or haughtily deny kisses? Almost as cute as when they're actually kissing and/or holding hands
c) Pam's trying-and-failing-not-to-beam smile when Michael admires the arrangement of flowers on her desk. Also, Jim's indescribable expression of hilarity after Michael sets them on the floor and Kevin growls in agreement.
Michael: They're back?
Pam: I can't see them when they're on the floor.
Jim: They're for her to look at, man. (also! Pam's so-not-hidden smile when he comes to her defense)
e) Best whispered conversation ever --
M: Today is a very difficult day for a lot of people in this office. And the sexy looks between you and Pam, the general sexiness, the flowers, it's creating a hostile work environment.
J: Ah. I thought we were keeping it pretty low-key, actually.
M: Well, if you guys insist on having your own private little lovefest --
J: We do.
M: That none of us can be a part of --
P: You can't be a part of our relationship, Michael!
Beware the general sexiness, people. It's a dangerous and unstoppable force. The writers had to send Pam all the way to New York once just to escape it.
I think the best part of this whole scene is, as usual, the fact that Jim just takes all this in stride like it's an average business conversation. Which at this point, I suppose it is. "We do." HAH!
5. If I have one complaint, it's that we didn't get to hear any part of the conversation at reception before Phyllis wandered up with lunch invitations. On the other hand, this almost makes up for it: "I have a lot of work to do this afternoon...those mines aren't gonna sweep themselves."
6. Since I knew the lunch conversation was supposed to be uncomfortable, I started cringing as soon as it started. Apparently this was actually supposed to be the nice half, long before the weirdness began, but that did not stop me from wondering if Bob would turn out to have a raging case of anger management syndrome that would end up with Jim and Pam having to head off homophobic comments about Oscar, or whether the comments about Jim's "dainty fingers" were going to turn into them getting into a fight about her criticizing him in public, like maybe it's a habit of hers.
But I'm putting this in the nice section because it's a relief to be able to go back and watch them actually get to behave like normal, functioning adults with other normal, functioning adults, and have real conversations (last seen, I think, in "Crime Aid" when Jim's out at the bar), complete with honest-to-God laughter. Also, now I get to add "bowling" to my list of "specific dates to be imagined in ficland."
Pam: Jim uses a 6-pound ball.
Jim: That is a lie.
Pam: Yes, he bowled five frames with this pink, sparkly thing until a little girl had to ask for her ball back.
Things That Sucked
1. I will never, never, never forgive them for showing people with needles in their arms. Look, I expect that sort of rude behavior from House, ER, and Grey's Anatomy. It's the price I pay for the other good stuff. But I shouldn't ever have to shield my eyes from anything worse than inappropriate kissing on this show. I feel fundamentally betrayed.
2. You know what I don't want to see/know about Kevin's love life? Anything. Because it's nasty. (on the other hand, it was kind of funny hearing how Stacey broke up with him out of theblue. Thus confirming my long-standing belief that Stacey was bewitched by an evil sorcerer - why else would any attractive woman date, much less agree to marry him? - and that one day last spring, someone finally broke the curse)
3. Phyllis and Bob already vaguely gross me out just by kissing. You can imagine how much more nauseated I am now. And that's it -- Phyllis is officially lower than Whackjob Jan on the totem pole of characters. She is not quite down to the level of character hate that surround Andy and Kevin, but I'd say she's right on par with Michael at this point in terms of generally unpleasant viewing.
4. Jim and Pam super-immaturely eating off other people's plates in their absense. I...don't understand. That's barely half a step up from "ditching your company in the middle of a meal/polite conversation to go have dirty bathroom sex." Didn't they have their own food to focus on? In what universe is this okay? How did they even get to this point in, what, 10 minutes? It was like we were missing an entire transition segment. I feel like a lot of exposition-type material got cut for time from this date, probably in order to focus on pointless things like Dwight's attempt at securing a client.
5. Everything else.
P.S. Dear Pam, if the red carpets taught us anything this year, it's that people don't generally react favorably to women wearing clothing that sports oversized bows. Why don't you go home, snip that thing off, and come back redeemed of fashion shame? On the bright side, I just now realized she's wearing tiny pink heart earrings. CUTE.
-ER, 15x18, "What We Do"
Ugh, that was painful. I hate when shows decide to put a reality show/documentary spin on it and we have to watch the actors try to do TH's while looking embarrassed and/or nervous directly in front of the camera, second guessing what they say or not knowing where to look. You know what was so great about the pilot of The Office? There is none of this awkward stumbling.
But that aside, uh, I think the unholy Simon/Neela hookups are over now? YAY. That's enough time on them; let's go back to Carter and how it just kinda hurts to watch him work right now. Also, his enigmatic/false smiles are starting to strike the fear of God into my heart, so the end (of the series! not his life!) can't come fast enough. And of course, you know what I really focused on --
"Anyone else you want us to call?" someone asks, and he looks conflicted for a long moment before finally shaking his head.
Me: . . . (*$^@*&$^@! Totally broke up with Kem off-screen after all!
I have got a one. track. mind. It will not be swayed until I see her standing there at his side! Fortunately, then he went into a bit more detail with Tony, and I'm cautiously optimistic about the fact that she knows he has some health issues, but doesn't know the details or to want extent. Which, I'm not a big fan of the old lying-to-my-wife-to-spare-her-worry trick, but Carter's known for being doggedly bullheaded like that, so I'm still going to live in a happy bubble whereby she might suspect something's up but is willing to believe the lie for a little while longer.
Refuse to watch anything involving Sam and her mother. Except, in the little bit I did see, we found out that Mama Taggert called her a slut and a whore before kicking her pregnant daughter out of the house, which is hilarious, and makes me like Mama Tag a whole lot more. Hearing Samantha whine about how she was just a poor stupid 15-year-old kid only reinforced this feeling.
Don't know how I feel about Morris & Julia's storyline tonight. Damn it. Damn his ability to be completely calm and collected and not freaking out any point, unlike he's usually done in the past, yet still convey all kinds of warm emotion and not completely hidden fear. If I didn't know better, I'd think he'd been injected with something designed to produce this effect. Frankly, it was so unexpected that it was mesmerizing, and I'm a little afraid to go on about it in detail in case I fell asleep and just dreamed up the version of Morris I wish had always existed. Look, I've got five years' worth of built-up hate trying to distill themselves through one gunshot wound + bedside whispering + half-jokes about olive-skinned/red-haired children running around. It'll take me a while to adjust.
And I'm not really a fan of Frank & Jerry - well, namely Frank - or their stupid rebuttal "documentary," but I did like the bit where they interviewed the proud-of-her-work cleaning lady. Because I've got a special place of solidarity in my heart for that w
P.S. Dear Carter...if I expect you to die, will that negate your meta statements about how you never know what'll happen next?