Which makes me curious. I'm familiar with the tone and can recognize several characters' faces at this point, but have no idea what kind of show it's supposed to be over there, or what the demographic is. Is it considered terrible like American daytime soaps? Is it just there and ubiquitous, like syndicated comedies here? It's not, like, Srs Drama, is it? Exactly who watches it? I'm just really curious. This show practically exists in a vacuum for me, and it's kind of amazing to think about anyone except my family seeing it.
Also, I know the Battlestar Galactica fandom exploded this week, but it's been very incoherent so far. I can't figure out if I'm supposed to be offering condolence hugs with tea and sympathy, handing you soapboxes for angry ranting, or toasting in celebration. So, um, pick whichever option works for you, and I'll deliver that.
Now, witness the winding, twisting path by which I watched episodes this weekend:
Secret Life of the American Teenager, 1x22, in which we wait for baby
Summary: While awaiting the birth of her baby, Amy flashes back to when she first met Ricky while at band camp.
And after seeing this, suddenly I have an intense desire to make a fanvid for this show set to Taylor Swift's "Fifteen." I mean, I'm sure one already exists - yep, there we go, although seriously...you get the lyric "You sit in class next to a redhead named Abigail and soon enough you're best friends," and you pair that with Ben proposing to Amy? REALLY? - but I'd really like to make it using all the characters. I could even be all symbolic and use shots of the parents for the chorus lyric "(this is life) before you know who you're supposed to be." ...I say this like I have any knowledge whatsoever of how to make music videos.
In a related note, holy crap YouTube! Apparently the fanbrats are quite zealous for this show and have made a video set to almost any popular song you can think of. Fearless, Love Story, Crush, 7 Things I Hate About You, My Life Would Suck Without You, Dirty Little Secret...even Check Yes Juliet; they're all covered! Impressively, most of the ones I've seen even work.
So, yeah, from the summary I thought I was going to hate this one - even after being promised "no sex scenes," which I legitimately feared! - but then it turned out it was really well done (if I didn't know better, I might think this was actually the first episode they'd filmed, so well did they capture the feeling of 9 months ago). I mean, I still skipped most of Amy and Ricky's band camp interaction, on account of being HORRIBLY EMBARRASSING, and several other scenes because I didn't want to go back to that awkward place everybody was in before they got character development and were bigger freaks than usual, but I got the gist of it.
Ben was adorably terror-stricken at the idea of not getting his braces off before high school, the explanation for Amy's attraction was vaguely sufficient but didn't prevent me from going "OH DEAR GOD WHY CAN'T YOU RECOGNIZE SMARM AND FAKE SINCERITY WHEN YOU SEE IT?", and I tumbled head-over-heels in love with Adrian upon her scream of joy at seeing her new convertible. Actually, I even liked her when she was slinging sarcasm at her mother. Why do I love Adrian so much all of a sudden? Maybe I just missed interaction with her mom. I love her mom. I like how they were wearing matching shades of purple at the beginning, too.
Also, hooray for Amy's terminal crabbiness! I just watched that "Friends" episode where Rachel has to wait forever and a day for her labor to start, sharing a semi-private room with a revolving door of unpleasant/annoying women, and I find myself imagining what would have ahppened if she'd had Crabby Amy as a roommate. I'd give it five minutes to turn into a 4-way shouting match between Amy, Rachel, Ross and Amy's mom. Rachel would try to be nice, Amy'd make a comment about her age, Ross would jump in to defend, Amy would fire back with everything she had, and pretty soon Anne would be in the room yelling at them for ganging up on her teenage daughter, and nurses would have to intervene.
Who am I kidding? That's far too entertaining for this show!
Dumb Amy Moment Of The Week: "How do we know I even have a birth canal?!"
*faceplam* Dear World: I promise you, most teenagers are really not this stupid by the time they get to age 15. Really. Even in schools that don't have sex ed.
Ahhh. Tomorrow is the finale, and then I can bolt like hell, secure in the knowledge that since nobody else talks about it and I don't have cable so I can't see promos, there will be nothing to tempt me back.
Bones, 4x17, "The Salt In The Wounds"
I wish this episode had a face. Or five faces. So I could punch them all simultaneously (assuming I had a couple of goons to help).
1. You know what's starting to get old? High school pregnancy pacts. SVU already rips stuff from the headlines; don't take sloppy seconds. I didn't even really like the diner scene with Booth and the schlubby kid at the end, because while the former was all kinds of hot in his intensity, it was just too gross and uncomfortable to watch the kid.
Although right before that, it was nice to see Booth get all hot under the collar at the suggestion that men don't want the responsibility of caring for their children.
2. Roxy. Ugh. While I sincerely appreciate that we have not had to witness their relationship, and that she only appeared the second time to break up with Angela, that was still one appearance too many. It was kind of icky to watch Ange try to pick out a dog with her (which negated the cute factor of doggy pictures. Why weren't you looking at dogs a year ago, Angela?).
3. HODGINS/ANGELA NO GOD WHY. You're too good for her, Jack! Happily, he seems to realize this. I was blown away by his calm, patient assertation this was merely a moment - albeit a nice one - and not the stuff on which relationships are built. A statement completely free of malignance, and yet an effective enough blow to let me watch Angela deflate like a popped balloon. Which was extremely satisfying. (bonus! Him all Meaningfully holding on to a forgotten earring, proving that he's secretly still conflicted and not quite over her, but not in a way where he's going to admit it or do anything about it just now. This is exactly how I feel about the ship, so it is nice to see that the writers are currently reading my mind.
Double bonus: Um, wow? For looking relatively small and scrawny under the lab coat, Hodgins is RIPPED. In the manner of a body builder. It's maybe worth the H/A sex just to get a peek at his torso of steel?
4. Do we need more grad students on top of what we've already got? Really? Especially an irritating one with an apparent form of specialized Turret's, judging by his inability to keep from dropping onomotopoeic sound effects after every description of injury? WHY CAN'T WE JUST HAVE WENDELL. WENDELL IS NORMAL.
Although many, many hees for Cam's method of determining cause of death triumphing over Brennan's, and her subsequent smirking. "Thank you for stating the fact that you were wrong." And the "I claim one of my freebies!" "I claim one of my freebie declines!" back-and-forth.
5. I have no feelings one way or the other about Angela and Sweets going undercover, just one request: since this episode delivered 80% of the info from that Big Peck O' Spoilers we got way back when (Roxy, Hodgela hookup, and the Middle Eastern grad student with his consolation mix CD*), dare I hope that the kiss on the cheek here has been substituted for the (spoiler alert!) "Angela makes out with Sweets" part? Because I'd like to relax and stop dreading that ASAP.
* sidebar - I'm ridiculously overjoyed that I actully recognized at least half the songs on that mix CD (does anyone have a full tracklist??). Mostly I was delighted with Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You," which I know was on the radio but never thought was especially mainstream. Apparently it is.
CSI, 9x17, "No Way Out"
Summary: Langston and Riley are taken hostage during the aftermath of a shootout in an usually calm Las Vegas community.
Me: And we really have to rescue them? Are you sure? Can the title be prophetic instead? I mean, all things considered...I like the guy, but I'm totally willing to sacrifice Ray as collateral damage if it gets Riley killed off. I know we'd still have to replace at least one of them, but I'll roll dice and take my chances with an unknown variable.
Of course, that's not how it works. Luckily, Frankie the Crazy Druggie Kid understands my frustration and bashes Riley in the face with his gun. I laughed for like fifteen minutes straight. Hey, I'll take a consolation prize if it comes like that!
Let's see, what else did I like about this one...oh! Greg! Being amazing and compassionate and emotionally involved! Not with Riley, thank God. Connecting with a grieving father. I got the same sense of depth I did at the end of "Fannypack," or maybe his nauseated reaction to the dead child in "No Humans Involved." The spotlight doesn't shine on him too often in this area, but he has a real gift for empathy. Joy!
And that was on TOP of what I figured was sufficient glee for one episode, young Mr. Sanders getting grabbed with a gun to his head. Which, incidentally, they totally got me. I claim distraction; I was too busy writing down how hilariously they were bending the borders of reality here, having a crack team of CSIs sweep the place like cops.
(This is what happens when you're expected to suspend disbelief for the purposes of highlighting one particular section of law enforcement. You lose all ability to recognize when you actually ARE being fed an invented situation. Kind of like how I long ago stopped trying to figure out when victims really dropped dead in their underwear as opposed to being conveniently covered for network TV.)
Incidentally, I agree with the CSI Files review on this one - it would have been a much more interesting play to see the Riley/Sanders code come out for the first time in context, rather than dropping an anvil on our heads by explaining it in a training exercise in the teaser.
Other things, other things...oh! Quite fun to watch Ray exercise his doctor skills. More impressive than his impromptu surgical skills? His incredible ability to control a situation through his calming words alone. I think he and Morgan Freeman should have a head-to-head competition to see who has the most soothing voice. Whoever can convince a random audience member to eat a bowl of cockroaches first wins.
And I did like Catherine awkward little hug for him at the end; that was sweet (heehee, she had to stand on tiptoe). Nobody hugged Riley. Hah!
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch her get hit in the face a few more times. It's surprisingly cathartic.
Grey's Anatomy, 5x18, "Stand By You"
"Is it wrong to have hatred in your heart?"
Oh, George. Not if you're watching this show! Then it is totally right, and in fact encouraged at all times!
I'm fairly certain that this episode didn't need to be watched. Rather, there are a few scenes you should YouTube and the rest you should be grateful you missed, or at least feel free to ignore.
* Okay, HEE, it is really hilarious to watch Bailey square off against Owen and order him around while he just stands there incredulously. "People don't say no to you, do they?" Himself included. Not that Owen's all that good about standing up to women in general. For all his Rugged Manliness and intimidating ex-soldier countenance, he's quite willing to be pushed over. Kind of like a big German Shepherd who lies around all day being petted and pampered (hey there, Kym!), but whom you know you could count on to rise up in an instant and become a threatening protector.
Also loved his story about the parents he didn't save, and "I don't talk about Iraq."
* GEOOOOOOORGE!! *explodes with adoration* While it remained maddeningly frustrating to watch him make sharp-eyed observations and look rightfully worried while refusing to actually be proactive and follow up on them, it was still delightful watching him particpate in the intern wrangling. Or just participate it. I love him! And oh, the run to her room and the misty-eyed look...now hug her, damn it.
* Cristina. Why so amazing, all the time, no matter what you do? Simply put: she. was. perfect. There is nothing this woman can't tackle with beautiful aplomb, whether it's balancing Mer's issues, being a rock star in researching Izzie's condition/calling in favors, or telling secrets that need to be told in order to clear her head for her first solo surgery.
* Watching Derek lace into the Chief for anything that Adele didn't pummel him for last episode was incredibly satisfying. "Why the hell would you send Meredith out here expecting a ring? Why in God's name would you do that?!" And even better, the Chief matured like 50 years overnight and actually sounded like both an adult and a competent boss.
Aside from the giggle-fit I had when he used "I am older" as one of the reasons he knew better than Derek (coulda fooled me!), it was really good. It even made Derek look a little whiny and sulky at one point ("YOU DESTROYED ME!"), which by itself is a pity, but it did at least have the effect of making the Chief look yet more mature in comparison. This is an image boost he sorely needs.
* Mer-Der makeup scene! All it took was one pitiful "I love you." Not that the way he said it was pitiful, but because it sounded so inadequate in the face of everything, yet you know it's all he had (way to NOT SAY IT BACK, Meredith). Now combine that with the bleak hopelessness of "Would you still love me if I wasn't a surgeon?" *hugs* I would! Especially if it led to Izzie dying without your expertise to save her!
*mutter-grumble* I will say two nice things about Izzie, just for this week:
-I finally bought some emotion from Alex! The indescribable expression in his eyes behind the surgical mask when Cristina told him Izzie had cancer was the best thing I've seen since Ava left.
-I liked the circle of interns quietly rallying around Izzie.
* ...it looks like there were quite a lot of good things spanning several scenes. Perhaps I should retract my statements about it not being worth watching? It's just, the bad and ugly parts were SO bad and ugly.
-The muzzle I placed on Callie last week is still in effect. I am so adament about this that, after a brief debate, I refused to lift it even when she was in the presence of McDreamy. You heard me, NOT EVEN (EMO!)MCDREAMY is enough to make me sit through this woman's lines.
-McSleazy remains muzzled as well, and as of this week Lexie officially gets one too. She no longer exists on my screen until such time as she severs all ties with him.
-Oh, crap. They finally mentioned sex with respect to the Cristowenship. (I'm sorry, I've still got Torchwood on the brain and I miss saying "Towenship") It hasn't happened yet, mercifully, but I fear that just saying the word broke the magic spell around them.
-WTF, interns. W. T. F. How stupid do you have to be to be TOLD that you shouldn't appear at patients' bedsides crying your eyes out or with OPEN, BLEEDING WOUNDS? Also, why the fuck is Megan pregnant with two possible daddies? Aren't we already doing this on Private Practice? At least let your storylines cool down before you harvest and recyle them.
(I do kind of like Megan, though, objectively speaking. And I feel bad for Steve, seeing as this is like George vs. Alex all over again, and the jackassy Alex type should never win. Especially not when the George type is all scrawny and sporting curls!)
-In a related note, how stupid is Meredith for choosing to ignore it? I don't care if the problems are clearly personal; they are affecting them professionally, and that makes it a professional problem, i.e. your problem and your business. At least Bailey got to lay the smackdown and remind them that they were just as troublesome. "Oh, uh, gettin' married in Vegas, shackin' up with attendings, cuttin' LVAD wires??" Don't forget spreading syphilis all over the hospital, Bailey! That was one of their shining moments too.
-OH MY GOD HOW HORRIFYING WAS GUY-WITHOUT-A-FACE?! I'm pretty sure I screamed in terror and thereafter refused to watch this storyline. I was caught off guard a few more times, each consisting of less than half a second but still equally horrifying, as I stubbornly hop-skip-jumped away from thsi plot. I'm really glad I already read "Sara's Face," because I will never be able to read it again without this image in my head at all times, and that is not a thing I want.
-This isn't actually ugly, but a confused question - did McDreamy recently get a streak of gray in his hair?
-Without a Trace, 7x17, "Voir Dire"
[Edit: Ooh, I forgot the title was in French. Because this episode needed more reasons to be amazing.]
Let's just get right to it - OH MY DAMN. MARTIN! HARD CORE! SH*T SH*T SH*T SH*T SH*T SH*T SH*T AM I SEEING THIS RIGHT? ARE YOU SERIOUS???
^ Was my approximate reaction to the outcome of the shootout/knife fight/wrestling match. Dude, y'all. Martin strangled a guy to death with his bare hands.
Well, "fatally pressed on his windpipe with one arm while trying to avoid having his eye poked out on a blade" might be a more accurate description, but still, my eyes were pretty much bugging out of my head at that point and my jaw was somewhere on the floor. That was insane. That was literally insane. I mean - Martin!! That's actually more mindblowing than teenage Samantha beating a guy to death with a shovel! (and you thought nobody would ever top that)
Is it wrong if my admiration and appreciation for Martin just skyrocketed and shot through the roof? Because he kinda just went from being the bland vanilla guy in the background to this Object O' Hotness, kicking Danny right out of the spotlight.
I'm sorry, 2 days later and I still can't process it. You know, I had six different shows to pick from when I was choosing my "last show before bed," and since I didn't have any episode summaries or promos in my head, after weighing the odds I figured WaT would be the nice bland one that could lull me to sleep without me missing much. AHAHA. NOT SO MUCH THIS WEEK. My mind is still blown away.
It was really almost cruel of them to take my already spinning mind and then PUT IT ON A TILT-A-WHIRL by revealing that hey, guess what?? This really sweet, shy, panicky lady that Martin committed homicide to protect and is adorably sweet on? Is totally lying to his face and a professional evil-doer after all!
*holds head in hands* Ay-yi-yi. I cannot even take how explosively amazing this twisted writing is. I'm just going to ignore that last part, go in a corner and overdose on sugar while I think about Martin being smitten with a pretty lady, having played the hero. Because he deserves a good relationship, damn it. Oh, I really don't want to see his mental state when her deceit comes to light. *cradles protectively*
Oh! Oh! And THEN, like I don't have ENOUGH going on up here, they expect me to concentrate on a double-pronged B plot.
Prong 1: Hey there, Hannah! Appreciate seeing you in the flesh, even just for one scene! And thus we learn that Jack has yet to tell her that he's dating Samantha. AWKWARD! Because fandom might have forgotten/not care, but I bet Hanna has some feelings about the woman her dad had an affair with. (Actually, at this point Hanna is probably both grown up and snarky enough not to mind so much. But I can't blame Jack for being afraid to have this conversation)
I kind of hate myself for saying this, but I actually think Samantha (who is suddenly rocking some strawberry blonde hair that suits her quite differently than the white blonde, yet with equal beauty) and Hanna would get along quite well, especially on a Girls Day Out. They have similar personalities, despite being younger/older sisters in their respective families.
Now try adding Fin into the equation. Heh.
Prong 2: Speaking of Fin, Jack and Brian are having awesomely awkward bonding moments as they accept the fact that, random as it is, they're stuck dealing with each other for life and so they might as well get used to it. Man, I love how all these people are starting to form a family situation nearly as crazy as Reba's.
Do you hear that, everyone? I didn't hate Jack in this episode! Or Jack/Sam (much)! EXCELLENT WRITING, I SAY. It's almost like this show & Cold Case both heard the cancellation whispers at the same time and were like, "Fuck that, let's show them what they'll be missing. Rally the writing troops!" and then pooled every resource they had to create a molotov cocktail that exploded Awesomeness.
Final notes - why was everyone so crankypants about trial consultants? It didn't exactly seem like an evil job to me, even if it does help the defense (maybe it's me and my inability to think that corporations are Big Bad Evil Dudes).
But more importantly, why did his girlfriend freak out on him for "profiling" people and "preying on their insecurities"? Like, the hell! It's not like he's reading their minds or breaking into their computers to read private correspondance. He's just really good at reading people. Isn't that generally considered a good skill? Isn't that better than having a random guy walk up and lamely hit on you?
Serves her right, getting killed by a drunk driver after storming out over something that stupid.