1. Ood Doggy! (is SO CUTE)
2. Vashta Nerada invasion: WITH PENGUINS!
3. A motivational poster for (nearly) every episode
1. Alternate way to bring the insanity on board the train (a/k/a "Doctor, SHUT UP!")
2. An extended version of the phone conversation & why Donna didn't come with
1. Speculation for final 3 episodes (worth it just for the "I'm gonna borrow this for a while LOL" cap!)
2. In which everyone in the Returning Cast Of Every Major Guest Star Ever introduces themselves
3. Although said cast would be more epic if it looked like this.
II. Bones, 4x22, "The Double Death of the Dearly Departed" (wasn't this previously "The Fun in the Funeral" or something?)
OK, that was the worst thing they've ever done. On several levels. We should all feel free to mentally exclude this from canon, and/or assume the whole thing was one of Booth's hallucinations/dreams. I certainly am. The word that comes to mind when I think of this episode is "grimace."
The best description I can find, per eleigh : Do you think that when the writers pitched this story they were like "ok and then Booth starts singing. And dancing. And it's bad. But also AWESOME"? Because I'm pretty sure when they wrote this episode they were just like "let the crack happen."
Eleigh also described this as being like a cracky X-Files episode, but where "Bad Blood" was highly entertaining, this was not. For one thing, Bad Blood didn't offend my every sensibility by irreverently thumbing its nose at the idea of treating bodies with respect and playing it all for laughs instead (LOL DEAD GUYS IN CARS! COOL SHADES IN THE COFFIN!). I vaguely understand that that's supposed to be what makes it funny, except it doesn't. Fail. Special double fail for a scene of such horrific embarrassment that I had to clamp my hands over my ears and hum loudly until Hodgins shut up.
I choose not to remember any of the specifics of this episode, other than a few bits of zippy dialogue between Booth and Bones (the "translation" code for murder was legitimately amusing, as were Booth's "I can be devastatingly charming if you aren't watching me," and giving her a cautionary rundown in funeral etiquette beforehand), and the following:
-I think I ship Hodgins/Amy now. Mostly because I ship him and anyone who isn't Angela. At any rate, I was legitimately thrilled that he got hugged by a pretty girl while Angela's had no one interesting at all. (Yes. It's a contest in my head. Hodgins is winning by a landslide. Hodgela and I had a very bitter divorce, all right?)
-Cam smokes? Also, thanks for not going down the road of cliche with Michelle there, writers. Oh, wait. (seriously, do teenagers still pick smoking as their rebellious act of choice? Really? When they're bombarded from the age of, like, 5, about how it's nothing except bad and horrible, including by what I'd venture is a majority of their peers? Where do they even get cigarettes, anyway? How can they afford/who is letting them bum cigarettes when they cost, like, seven bucks a pack after the heaps of special fees and taxes?)
-Awww, Booth making her promise to come talk to him if he dies first. ♥ That's a convenient approach to dealing with Brennan's hyper-rational mind...never mind arguing with her or giving a reason, just ask her to do it for him.
-Aw! "Why did you agree?" "I believe that if I pretended you were still here, I'd feel better for a moment."
III. Interesting sort of...values? priorities? survey. This is what I get up to when I inexplicably wake up at 5:20 in the morning and decide that, being ahead of schedule, I can totally waste time clicking around the internet at least until the sun comes up.
1. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone?
I regret nothing! I say everything that needs saying.
2. If a new medicine were developed that would cure arthritis but cause a fatal reaction in 1 percent of those who took it, would you want it to be released to the public?
Arthritis? Nope, that is not a bad enough affliction to allow the general public to risk death. (I, on the other hand, would totally sign up for such a medicine if the options were "freedom from pain" or "freedom from pain via death.")
3. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the body or the mind of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
Body. It's all about looking good. Naturally.
4. If at birth you could select the profession your child would eventually pursue, would you do so?
Although this would have helped me a great deal...no. Half the fun is seeing them figure out what they're interested in.
5. If you knew there would be a nuclear war in one week, what would do? (you can't stop it)
Stockpile food, water, and whatever else the smart-thinking mother grabbed in that one terrifying novel.
6. Would you accept twenty years of extraordinary happiness and fulfillment if it meant you had to die at the end of the period?
HELL YES. Give it! Give it now!
7. If the person you were engaged to marry had an accident and became a paraplegic, would you go through with the marriage or back out of it?
Boy, that would suck, but I'd go through with it. I think. Just don't warn me too much about what it'll be like beforehand, otherwise I would probably panic and run.
8. Someone very close to you is in pain, paralyzed, and will die in a month. They beg you to give them poison so they that they can die. Would you?
In theory, yes, but it depends how excruciating the effects of this poison are and whether or not I can be found out and arrested for it after the fact.
10. What is the worst psychological torture you can imagine suffering? (it cannot involve any physical harm to you)
Having a box of ladybugs dumped on me where I can't move. Or bees, even if they couldn't sting. Any bugs, really.
11. You and a person you love deeply are placed in separate rooms with a button next to each of you. You know that you will both be killed unless one of you presses the button before 60 minutes pass; furthermore, the first to press the button will save the other person, but will immediately be killed. What do you think you would do?
-I'm not pushing any buttons. Better both dead than one living alone. (in a related note, if the person I love pushes the button, I will kill them again) Then again, my secondary reason for not pushing any buttons would be assuming I was in some sort of terrible psychology experiment, and not wanting to play into their trap by responding in any way.
12. Would you be willing to go to a slaughter house and kill a cow? Do you eat meat?
Kill a cow myself? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I've always said if I were any less removed from my meat than cooked meals on a plate, I would be a vegetarian. It's only the convenience factor that keeps me eating it - I can't even look at or touch the raw stuff.
13. For $20,000 would you go for 3 months without washing, brushing your teeth, and using deodorant? Assume you could not explain your reasons to anyone, and there would be no long-term effect on your career. (you are not choosing one, you would have to go without all three)
-Ohhh...gosh. Oh gosh. It depends. Do I have to go out in public? Because if I could just stay in a house and avoid all people, I would do it (bonus: I'd have an impetus to cut my hair real short), but that's not enough money for me to suffer the embarrassment of people thinking I was a freak.
14. Which of these restrictions could you best tolerate: leaving the country permanently, or never leaving the state in which you now live?
Never leaving the state! I practically do that anyway.
15. If you could choose the sex and physical appearance of your soon-to-be-born child, would you do it?
I believe so. Never mind this "random chance/up to God" business. People always claim "but if your parents had done that, then you wouldn't exist!" To which I say, psh, I would so exist, I'd just be more awesome.
16. Would you be willing to decrease your life expectancy by 5 years if you could become extremely attractive?
Hell, I'll decrease it by 50 years! If that means dying at 25 or 30, so be it.
17. If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly tell you what they really think of you, would you want them to?
God, no. It would destroy me. Never tell me truths! Always say pleasant things!
18. Would it disturb you much if, upon your death, your body were simply thrown into the woods and left to rot? Why?
Umm...I dunno; I suppose it would. Just because it still looks like me, and I wouldn't want the chance of anyone to be able to see me getting all messed up and ripped apart by animals and stuff.
19. Would you like to know the precise date of your death?
Are you offering? Because if you offered, I'd be curious enough to look.
20. Would you be willing to give up all television for the next 5 years if it would induce for someone to provide for 1,000 starving children in Indonesia?
Hold up a second. Five years? All television? Only 1,000 children? That I don't even know? Are you insane?
IV. And now I'm going to hunker down, be productive/wait for Medium to appear so I can screencap it like mad (I don't know why I have an obsession with posting pictures from this show when none of you watch it - fools! - but every episode demands that I preserve Teh Cute), and try to contemplate the incomprehensible nature of having two shows over six days, then suddenly getting whapped over the head with eight new episodes on Thursday, what. (well, technically it's 7 because I am still boycotting The Office, but...we've seen how that works out for me).
V. This is random, but - my mom cleaned out her bookshelf last week, and she totally tried to sneak out of the house before I could notice that she was taking books to Half Price (she's wise to my obsessive ways!). True, they were all her books which I've never read or had any interest in, but still... Anyway, I was mostly amused because it reminded me exactly of that one Simpsons episode where Marge tries to sneak stuff out of the attic to donate to charity while her family is distracted by TV, with their backs to her. She gets as far as reaching for the doorknob, and then --
Lisa: What's in the box, Mom?
Marge: This box? Oh, nothing...
Bart: Are you sure? You sound nervous.
Marge: Well, anyone would be nervous with all the economic turmoil you read about in the -- *bolts out the door*
Homer: Get her! She's doing something!
For more amusement purposes: listen to the audio clip!
Bonus audio clip while I'm here, because it's always hilarious: Stupid sexy Flanders!