All righty, I think we'll just continue the theme of preserved running commentary - it was much more coherent than 4x11, apparently - with April's second-viewing embellishments in color & brackets. Now, hop in the Wayback Machine...
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Doctor Who, 4x12, "The Stolen Earth"
Hypothesis: The overload of guest stars will ruin all my fun.
Results: Hypothesis not so far from mark, akshully. (although there are a number of squee-explosion-worthy things that happen nevertheless, especially in retrospect)
First, I have to register a complaint here - I had epic, EPIC daydreams about Donna and Rose meeting for the first time. I had so many different possible scenarios running the gamut of contexts...and then it gets wasted in a dream-like parallel universe and one tossed-off mention of "So I just met Rose Tyler." Way to be anticlimatic, RTD.
Also, way to trample over it with the Doctor's panic about the end of universes and such. GOD. I am feeling bitter and full of anti-RTD feelings all of a sudden. It's like...I want him to be showrunner because he has good ideas and knows how to handle Rose's arc and that delicate, exquisite, perfect force that is Ten/Rose, but...I just, don't want him to have the power to write actual episodes anymore. He's good at the big picture and certain thematic threads, but lacking in storyline details. Can he maybe be, like, a symbolic CEO while a Board of Directors actually takes care of the day-to-day running?
However, preview-spoiled or not, the Doctor's grin over Donna's reminder that Rose is coming back and that is good never fails to roll out the squee.
-Do they still have milkmen in Britain? That's awesome. Because I'm pretty sure we don't.
-Text tapping out on screen to describe locations? Really? How tacky is that, c'mon.
-Martha. *curt nod*
-Die, Cardiff! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR TORCHWOOD SHIT (is TW, deserves cussing out). There is a certain part of me that just wants to...skip forward. I haven't really skipped forward in Doctor Who since the Daleks in Manhattan nonsense. And yet. *itches*
-Sarah Jane! (squee! This is the one guest star I've actually been looking forward to, only about 2% less than Rose herself)
-Hi there, Luke! You're cute. And BWAHAHA! I don't know what significance Mr. Smith the Computer has, but the fact that she tells him to knock off the fanfare is hilarious.
-What's with the sky?! [it never stops being fantastically annoying how they drag this reveal out. For the record, Future Self, it's actually a pretty cool shot of all kinds of planets suddenly alarmingly close to the earth in the night sky. It would make a good desktop background.]
Oh. That's...interesting. Now can we be done with Rose's Big Fucking Gun? [I have probably mentioned about 1800 times how much I hate this shot, but I'm still going to say it again: I hate kick-ass, in-charge Rose Tyler. I hate that she's involved with Torchwood in any way and has any use for a gun, life-saver or not. I don't like this! I don't like change! /Stewie Griffin voice.]
-I think my active hatred for the new version of the theme song dissipated somewhere along the way. To the point where suddenly, this time I like it. Sigh. Let's blame it on too many listens of "Doomsday," where the transition of melody to cello or string bass or whatever is my favorite part.
-Sick of Torchwood. Sooooo sick of Torchwood [although I manage to stop hating Ianto for three seconds when he laughs at a legitimately funny joke from some weird talk show host with a cute dog. "I look up and there's all these moons and planets and stuff - what was I drinking last night, furniture polish?"]
-I love how humans' default reaction to anything bad is to run around screaming and/or looting. It's not untrue, it's just sad.
-OK, so Rose by herself, not as fun as I thought she would be. This is depressing. I thought Rose was perfect and I could never tire of her! She really has been eclipsed by Donna. This fact makes me want to crawl into bed (wait, I'm already there) and cry for a while. My entire perception of the world has shattered. It's like I don't even know how to define myself anymore. /drama
-Oh good, here come the Daleks; I was getting worried about their tardiness. /sarcasm.
Voice: /people reading your "review"...
-JUDOON!! With their little twitchy rhino ears! *dances in delight* Also, I have now rewound the whole rhythmical O-language conversation with the Doctor like 10 times in a row, because it so tickles my fancy.
-"You cannot possibly exist."
"Yyyyyyeah, more to the point, I've got a missing planet."
Heh. So I was at least spot-on about the importance of missing planets then, yes? I'm okay with that password.
-Aw, I love his fond smirk when Donna pushily stands up for her own importance. And gazing in starry-eyed rapture at the perfectly aligned planets before annoyed!Donna warns him not to get all "Spaceman."
-Sarah Jane continues to be delightful, but GOD, SICK OF TORCHWOOD. That's it, that's fucking it; I am officially skipping the rest of every pure-Torchwood scene I see. Or anything that involves Torchwood + Martha, because I'm only just barely tolerating her by herself.
-Dear Mr. Moffat: I have one hope, just one, for you as future showrunner, and that is - please see to it that the Daleks are exterminated once and for all. Please. Please. And I mean, if RTD's more or less taking both Rose and Ten with him, the least he could do is pack up his metal pets too. Not that this matters too much since I'm more or less going with him too, but...Ten & I are sticking around for a few specials with The Moffat first, and I'd like very much not to have to see Daleks in any way, shape or form once this season ends.
"She's scattered into atoms."
-Right, so we've got Martha out of the way for a little while. Good.
-What. What is THAT thing, with claws?? [I love how in my first-go round, this was my most important observation, while I studiously ignored or didn't even notice the Osterhagen Key, "the threefold man," Donna's ominous heartbeat or "the loss that is yet to come."]
-Stupid disappearing semi-alien bees. And I don't think I like his tone, however brief, when he first repeats "The bees are disappearing."
-All of his babbling is totally flying over my head right now, by the way. I have absolutely no idea what he just rambled about...I'm like a dog; I can't discern individual words, but I understand his attitude and I'm ready to bound along with joy because I know something good just happened.
-Yeah, he's not leading you into battle. Lulz.
[I do not like paralyzed!Doctor, especially not in combination with a Donna who can't do anything more than whimper and cry at him, so I am ignoring this scene except insofar as I love the background music and would like to find out what this track is called ASAP.]
-*squints* Harriet Jones? Yes. Wow. Way to reach back.
-*is annoyed at being forced to see Francine Jones again*
-Stupid Sylvia and her stupid lack of webcams. Poor Rose. *pets* [The 4-way-split screen is pretty cool, though.]
-LMAO, I love Sarah Jane. "Yeah, well, I've been staying away from you lot. Too many guns."
-Harriet: And Martha Jones, former companion to the Doctor.
Rose: Oi so was I!
[Hah! I love, love, love this whole segment with Jealous Rose. It is everything I ever needed to hear, that for all her silly growth and change and leadership, she still can't help but rankle at another taking her place. Martha complains about not being able to get through, and she's all "Nor me, and I was here first." My Rose, comin' back to me in 3...2...1...]
-...the Doctor's secret army? Really? Didn't I read about this in Harry Potter? Also, this millions of people calling all at once...you wouldn't by any chance be talking about the sort of Tinkerbell Jesus magic we saw in the last finale, would you? Because nobody liked that.
-WAIT WHAT SARAH JANE'S SON?! How does she have a son? Is this some sort of adopted son? She definitely did not have a son last time we saw her, did she? I don't have Wikipedia at the moment; I need stuff explained to me!! [*Wikipedias things* Nope, I still need stuff explained to me. On the other hand, super-intrigued by the Sarah Jane Adventures now.]
-Oi! Don't fry Mr. Smith!
-Oh, so much love for Rose's whispered "Find me, Doctor." That's more like it. My Rose. *is finally satisfied*
-Damn, that's kind of hardcore, killing Harriet. I know Doctor Who is all about the random killing, but usually they don't do it for recurrinng characters. Hell. *worries about Donna some more*
-That sounds about right, Gwen forgetting she has a husband. Not that I mind; the Doctor is far more attractive than Rhys. Most men outside Torchwood are.
"Captain Jack. Don't. Just...don't." Hah!
[OK, this is the greatest 4-way reunion ever. Jack, per usual, expressing his love through hostility, and everyone babbling at once...and I'm all squishy and melty inside over his pride and joy in all those brilliant, clever people. Also sucker-punched at Rose's very soft, sad, unheard "Doctor, it's me. I came back."]
-"Everyone except Rose." Awww. *pets Doctor*
Um...the frenzied and giggling Dalek is getting a bit weird. [And by weird, I mean awesome.]
-Ohhhhhh. *is sucker-punched again* Such hope. The way he says her name while fixed in alert on the fuzzy screen kills me.
-"I fleeeeeeeeeew into the wild and fire!" HAHAHAHAHA! UNEXPECTED COMIC RELIEF IS WELCOME. [*is still rolling about in laughter*]
-By the way, I'm kind of starting to miss the season 1 Daleks, you? They were so...relatively simple. Less psychotic. They had one basic purpose - exist to exterminate - and were not driven by crazy/power-mad leaders or infused with bits from God knows what else.
[I've watched this episode 3 times and I still don't understand who this person-Dalek-thing is. Is this where my lack of Old School knowledge comes back to bite me in the ass? GOD, show, I can't learn everything. After more than a year I'm still behind the times; did you want me to delay it further?
-*sits bolt upright* I have been waiting for this moment for
(OK, well, technically around December or January I got spoiled for the running bit in a GIF, and the fact that the GIF didn't include a hug clued me in to the fact that something probably interrupted it, but I still wasn't 100% sure how their reunion went)
-LAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! (is like the auditor in the Cupid tax commercial from H&R Block)
Remember when I found the spoiler photo of this moment back in March 2008, and I claimed I would forgive them for anything, no matter what they did to Rose, as long as I got to see this scene? Yeah, right now I feel very much inclined to keep that promise. HALLELUJAH, THANK YOU.
No, really, I've watched this like 8 million times - also, here it is again, encapsulated in mini picspam form! - and I still can't get over how tailor-made it was to my wishes. To review:
-his expression when he first turns and sees her, and just stares, frozen
-Donna wearing the expression of shippers everywhere (gently subdued version)
-The fact that Rose's music-box Theme is so pretty and fitting, I kind of feel like all the characters in this scene should be able to hear its enchanting tune accompanying her as she walks forward. Disney wishes its princesses could look this elegant.
-The Doctor running full out towards her, wearing the biggest grin ever
-and her adorably trotting gait as she tries to run with an awkwardly huge gun strapped over her shoulder
-Conveniently inserted slo-mo as a Dalek rudely interrupts things
Rose cradling a Doctor on the verge of death = my favorite fanfic scenario SOMEHOW BRILLIANTLY COME TO LIFE ON SCREEN. Everything from her desperate "I've got you. I missed you. Look. It's me" and fruitlessly begging him not to die, to the point where I could die happy just having seen the look of relief on his face and "Rose" on his tongue. WIN, RTD. EPIC WIN.]
-Incidentally, where was Kickass Jack five seconds ago, huh?? Your timing sucks worse than Molly Weasley's.
-"Like Owen, like Tosh." Yeah, they didn't really...go out fighting, per se. Was pretty quiet, actually. Kind of tender. Sweet. Wait, is that the ending I made up in my head? Possibly. Don't pick at my Towenship scar, sir. It looks like it's healing, but it's still quite painful.
[I think right here would be a good place to interrupt myself and make a point about how much I love Rose crying and refusing to leave the Doctor's side until Jack has to practically drag her away. It's kind of like the nightmare of "Turn Left," except in a way that can't be undone.
-Wait, wait, wait, so we've got Daleks aimed at both Sarah Jane and the tiny remainder of mortal Torchwood, and the Doctor's on the verge of regenerating? God, are we going to have another reversal-of-time/Giant Pencil Eraser From the Sky like we did in Last of the Time Lords? Because that really SUCKED.
Up Next: I don't know if there are previews for the finale, but I'm not watching them. I sort of feel like there aren't. Mostly because I feel like "Journey's End" has been built up to the approximate level of magnitude that "Deathly Hallows" was, between the ridiculous amounts of anticipation, the proposed end of an era, and the no-holds-barred, anything-goes action-packed final installment, and therefore Official Spoiler Lockdown must be practiced.
[Three Harry Potter comparisons in one post! Yes.]
So then I made a pact with myself. I absolutely did not want to finish the series that night, but I needed to watch just long enough to see how they put these crazy things right and to get my proper reunion. Ergo, I crept my way into the first 4 minutes and 38 seconds of...
4x13, Journey's "EFFING WORSE THAN DOOMSDAY (?)" End
Dear Self: Only long enough to deal with the events at the end of 4x12! Srsly!
-Hah! Of course he didn't regenerate. Helpful, that hand to which I apparently never before paid attention except when Spy pointed it out.
-"Jackie Tyler, Rose Tyler's mum. Now where the hell is my daughter."
Mickey and JACKIEEEEEEE! Ooh! I temporarily forgot that Jackie was my other other beloved guest star to whom I was looking forward to only slightly less than Rose, and possibly more than Sarah Jane, because I love Jackie that much. Also, it is just wrong that Ianto gets more episodes to play in Doctor Who than she does.
On bright side, also only one episode with Mickey.
-I could do without Gwen screaming like a loony as she fires the gun. Attack yells always sound so fake.
-HUGGY HUUUUUUGS! /concussed!Dwight voice. And I'm done. *is content and should close window*
-*is inexplicably still watching* Tosh: Still more awesome than everyone, even after death.
-OK, now we're starting to get into plotty-type things involving Jackie, so...EXIT NOW. *forcibly closes window*
-Also, I am getting kind of weirded out by the fact that Parallel Worlds are not going at all like I suspected. I mean...seriously? How does all this joy turn into heartbreak and sadness? I know it does, I just haven't determined how yet. RTD, you are a sick bastard indeed. *snorts* Bringing all the hope and then twisting knives!
*considers title for next post* I'm thinking a line from "Puddle of Grace" - Mama, can you help me please / my hero just stabbed me / with a knife that I did lend...
-"Used the regeneration energy to heal myself, but as soon as that was done I didn't need to change. I didn't want to; why would I - look at me." EXACTLY.
-All right, technically I'd seen this hug too, plastered in banners or headers or something, but I managed to banish it from memory until I was actually watching it. So much love for his quiet, anxious babbling until he's sure of Rose's reaction; I love the brief parallels to the...whatever you call that Children in Need snippet, and "You're still you?" Also the fact that the hug IS TOO PERFECT FOR WORDS.
It is also annoyingly interrupted by Donna passive-aggressively ordering Jack to hug her, which...COME ON. Did you you need a cut there? Couldn't you have finished out the hug and then put in the Donna/Jack bit? Because I hate having to take four seconds out of my bliss every time I watch this scene - which I've watched a whole heck of a lot - so that I can see the rest of the hug, to catch the Doctor's huge grin and Rose pressing her face into his shoulder again.
Still, being as it was perfect, it's easy to see why I felt satisfied stopping right there and going "Tra-la-la! We finally fixed Doomsday; show's over. Go home, folks; it's been a nice run." We could assume the Daleks got taken care off-screen or something, and then there was an epilogue about how the Doctor and Rose went off to have lots of Tiem Babiez, who (when not off on space-time adventures) all played with the children born of Gwen/
Why are you shaking your head like that? Come on, you love my brain.]
EDIT, Tuesday, Feb. 24th: ...crap. I swear to God I only wanted to see the first 5 minutes again, and then I...kept going until I was suddenly 12 and a half minutes in - just long enough to see the hand regenerate itself into a brand new Ten. Without clothing. Which is a thing I'd seen before, but***...
*suddenly wishes Doctor Who aired post-watershed*
*or this crossover event was happening on Torchwood*
*realizes that David Tennant shucks his clothes on film rather a lot, and that she's already rejected this several times*
Never mind, ignore me.
***Darn, and I was so sure that fiery-twilight's sidebar GIF of bare-chested Tenannt in the TARDIS was merely the result of, like, an outtake somewhere! Because geeze, you can't just go for three years of making fangirls squeal over rolled-up sleeves, that one time, and then suddenly spring shirtless!Doctor on us! DO YOU WANT US ALL TO DIE OF HEART ATTACKS?? (On second thought, not out of the realm of possibility - I guess RTD wants to take the fangirls out along with Rose, Harriet et. al. when he leaves.)
[So, hey, I skipped a lot of stuff there! And I think that's because I was originally intending that edit to be its own separate little post, before I got around to posting 4x12, and then for whatever reason it got lost at the end of my ridiculously giant Notepad document and I forgot about it. So. Let's remedy this by adding brand new commentary, shall we?
-Sarah Jane + Jackie = win! (+ Mickey = bleh)
-It's funny, I thought I'd love Martha more now that I've just finished fawning over Freema all over the place on Law & Order: UK, but instead her affiliation with UNIT continues to cast a shade of DULL over her character. I just don't have time or energy to care about her on top of everything else.
-"So I could come back. Shut up."
Oh! I am so glad I didn't stop while I was ahead. After all, Lupin & Tonks had more to give beyond their first post-danger hug.
-Oh, there's the bit of Doctor/Donna I've been missing. Is probably good that he went over to her; she was very much an afterthought for a while there.
-I choose to only hear the "You were brilliant" lines directed at Rose and Donna.
-I have decided that amplified heartbeats are the most annoying sound in the world (hey, that's the second recent Featured Question on LJ I've answered in this post). How did I ignore them as long as I did?
-*squeak* "Please. I'm begging you; I'll do anything! Put me in her place! You can do anything to me; I don't care, just get her out of there!" Um. I don't think I have words for this either. Doctor-Donna dynamic is very near to slaying me as well as the Doctor & Rose's. Plus, I can't exactly argue with him shaking in helpless fury.
-And...heeeeee-hee-hee on Donna's startled glance and promptly looking away. "You're naked."
-OOH, NEW SCENE! What a difference ten extra seconds makes - Rose comes up and slips her hand into his, complete with classic interlocking fingers. YES.
-5...4...3...2...and "1" conveniently lines up with 13:00, so is time to stop. *rapidfire closes window before she can get sucked into the rest of the episode*
-OK, new request! Could someone please tell me exactly how far I can watch before I see the last good Doctor/Rose bit? Because if somebody had taken Deathly Hallows out of my hands on about page 515, it would have greatly increased my happiness. Or...well, my willpower is starting to fade and I feel like unless Thursday gets here immediately and starts distracting me with the rest of the TV season, I might just watch the whole thing. At least in installments.
-Meanwhile, I'm going to resume staring at this header I told you about randomly finding, and continue being all "tra-la-la!" about the state of things.
Exit mood: jubilant]